The Tempted Lioness
by Trumarine
Summary: Bella is a vampire; Carlisle, Jasper, and Rosalie also share the vow of inhumanity. Now as they meet their human mates temptation rises and self-control is tested. Can these bonds survive or is there no hope? Rated M for lemons and violence. BxE AU
1. Ch 1: The First Look

A/N: Of course the obligatory I do not own Twilight…just this little plot twist.

This is my first FF so please be gentle. If you have any constructive criticism please let me know. Also, I would like to thank a couple of people who have helped push me along. One to vegandroid for her help with starting to push me to write, and lastly to Jadiona my wonderful beta who is helping me make this story easier to read.  You are definitely the bestest.

You can check out their stories through . They are in my favorites!! Now…on with the show!!

Bella, Rosalie, Jasper, and Carlisle Cullen are family. Not the regular type of family that we all know and love, but a family of vampires. Carlisle is the head of the family, playing the role of father to the three "kids". He is over 300 years old. Jasper was changed in the 1800s while he was a soldier in the Confederate army – he doesn't know who changed him. Rosalie was changed in the early 1900s, by Carlisle. She was left for dead after a brutal rape. Bella was changed by Carlisle. Reason's for change to be known later.

Edward, Alice, Emmett, and Esme Masen are a normal human family. Esme is the adoptive mother of the three "kids". Bad things have happened over the course of the "kids" lives. Edward lost both of his parents in a car accident when he was just a baby. Alice was dropped off at an adoption agency when she was 5, with no recollection of her parents. Emmett was abused as a child by his birth parents. The state found out and put him in foster care where he eventually wound up with the Masen's.

**Chapter 1 - The First Look**

**BPOV**

Why did I have to go through this shit again? "Why in hell do I have to go to fucking school AGAIN!?" Carlisle just looked at me like I was an insolent teenager, which to his 300 years of age I guess I was.

I have only been an immortal for 40 years. We had just moved to Forks, Washington. I was sick and tired of living in the shittiest places on the Earth. When I was first turned we lived in Oregon, then we moved to Alaska, the east coast in Maine and then to Ireland and now we are back on the west coast. I hated it here. Bad shit happened to me only a couple of hours away from here in my hometown of Astoria, Oregon. Every time I thought about it, it gave me the shivers.

"Bella, you know you have to at least endure school for another year, and then you can go and do what you want to do. You at least have to act like the child you look like. I know it gets tedious, but it is only for one year this time," Carlisle said to me. I have been to four different high schools over the past 40 years, and each time I get more and more angry with the stupid kids I have to be around. I may look like I'm only 18 but I definitely don't think like the rest of the kids in high school.

They wonder if they are going to be eating pizza or mystery meat for lunch. I think about the nice succulent deer or mountain lion that I will be devouring that night. Yum, I can already taste the warm sticky red juices flowing into my mouth.

I sigh when Rosalie comes in to the room giving me a death stare. I chuckle under my breath even though I know she can hear me. "Come on Bella, we have to get ready to leave. I don't want to be late on our first day at the new school. The quicker we get started the sooner we get to leave," Rosalie whined. I just looked at her like she was crazy. Rosalie whining was like listening to finger nails on a chalk board.

"FINE!! I will put up with this bull shit for one more year, then I'm going on my own," I said.

Carlisle just looked at me like I was crazy. "Bella, what are you saying?" He asked.

"I'm saying that I don't want to put up with this school bullshit any more. The mundane task of trying to live with humans is absolutely killing me! I can't take it anymore. I wanna go travel for a while," I said to Carlisle. I knew that it killed him to think about me leaving, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Living with the humans, while not being able to live with the way we were supposed to has been bothering me for a while. The whole time I've been a vampire I have never once drank human blood. I am afraid that once I do I will never be able to stop. I can smell it and it smells like nothing I've ever tasted…obviously. It would be like comparing a filet mignon smell to a piece of rotten meat left out overnight.

I can feel the wave of calm come over me when Jasper walks in. He is looking at me with sympathy. "Bella, I know how you feel, obviously," with a smirk "but how would you feel if someone had killed someone you loved, just because they wanted to?" Jasper said.

I just glared at him. "Well, Jasper you should know how I would feel since I obviously already felt that once." Jasper just grimaced as he felt the pain I was feeling. He knew that I hated being reminded of my human past. Not that he meant it in that way, but still.

I was one of the few unlucky vampires that actually remembered my whole human life, and on through the change. Rosalie remembered most of her past as well, but Jasper didn't fully remember his past. All he knew was that he was fighting in the Civil War for the Confederates, but that was about it. He didn't even know his human age when he was changed.

"I didn't say that I was going to out throughout the world and wreak havoc on mankind. I just want to travel. See more places. Sure Ireland was beautiful, but what about Spain, Greece, or Rome?"

Carlisle gasped and then said, "You know better that. You can't go to Rome, if the Volturi found out about your ability they would never let you come back to us. They are always on the lookout for new 'members'."

Yeah, yeah, my ability. Rosalie has the ability to leave any man or woman speechless and do her bidding with just a flash of her smile, if she wishes it. Jasper has the ability to feel the emotions of people around them and to make them feel any emotion he wants them to. I, on the other hand, can shield myself from any attack, whether it is mental or physical.

The Volturi would love to have me as their little "pet" just to protect the three elders. "Dad, I know but I just want to see the sights of all of the beautiful places in the world, not just the dreariest, cloudiest, wettest places." Rosalie was huffing in the background. I just glanced over to her and she gave me her best smile and I knew she was going to use her power on me. "I guess we are going to go to school, huh?" I said.

I pulled into the parking lot of Forks High in our red BMW. Well actually it is Rosalie's but she lets me drive it. What an ugly place! It doesn't really look run down, but with the weather here, the building is almost covered in the green moss that covers everything else here. I am already dreading it.

**EPOV**

On the way to school Alice kept jumping up and down in the front seat of my Volvo. "Can't you sit still Alice?"

"No Eddie!!" She knows I hate it when she calls me that. "There is a new family in Forks and there are 3 kids that are joining the high school. I'm so excited!! I can't wait to meet them."

Alice always knew everything that was going on…sometimes even before it happened. She's a little weird. She can see the future sometimes. I don't get how she can do that, but hey…whatever.

I pulled into the parking lot and Alice squealed.

"EEEEE!!! There they are. God they are even more gorgeous than my visions portrayed."

The family was getting out of their red BMW. I thought that car looked pretty awesome. If I didn't love my silver Volvo so much, I probably would trade it in for a car like that.

That's when I noticed her. She had dark brown hair and really pale skin. The way she glided across the parking lot she looked like she could be a dancer. I wonder if she is?

Emmett groaned. "Man! Look at the blonde. She is super hot!!! I wonder if I can get her number…or a piece of her!"

I rolled my eyes. My brother would screw an apple pie if it wasn't too hot. "Dude, you are such a horn dog. Calm down…you probably don't have a chance with her. Look at her…she's like model material. What the hell is this family doing in Forks?"

"Oh, their dad is a doctor and he's going to be working at Forks General," Alice said.

Again, my know-it-all sister. I sighed. I wondered when I could see the brown haired beauty up close… maybe she will be put in some of my classes.

**BPOV**

Already I am bombarded by looks from the boys in this place and I'm not even in first period yet. I'm far from conceited, but I know I'm beautiful, with my long, wavy brown hair with red glints in it, perfectly smooth alabaster skin, and golden eyes. I walked into my first class which was English. A blond haired boy looked like he wanted to come over and talk to me but he was too afraid. I just smirked at him and apparently he thought that this was an invitation for him to come over.

"Hey! I guess you are one of the new girls huh?" He asked.

"Yeah, I guess I am. I'm Bella," I replied.

"My name's Mike. What in the world made your family want to move here? It has to be one of the worst places in the whole continental US." He said, conversationally. My thoughts echoed his words.

"My dad is a doctor and he wanted to come and work at Forks General, apparently they have been trying to get him to come work with them for a while," I said.

Thankfully the class started because a couple of the other guys looked like they wanted to walk over and join in on the conversation. A perky little blonde on the other side of the class room just glared at me. I waved a little at her to let her know that I was not daunted by her attempt to get me to squirm.

She just huffed and looked away. Mike saw the little exchange and said, "That's Jessica. She's just jealous. She hates it when she isn't the center of everyone else's attention." I just laughed and shrugged. I really didn't want to start something on my first day of school.

The rest of my morning classes went pretty much the same. Everyone seemed to be nice, but most kept their distance. A lot of people don't like to be too close to us, because of the natural predator air around us. I really hated being back in high school again. I wish that I hadn't been changed so early in my life. Maybe it could have waited for a couple more years. Unfortunately that couldn't happen. If Carlisle hadn't changed me when he did then I would be dead. I guess I shouldn't complain too much. It could definitely be worse.

I had no idea what the teacher was even talking about. I had been zoned out. Normally the teachers didn't pick on the new kids on the first day. Apparently this teacher wasn't normal.

"Bella? Bella? Can you answer the question?" The teacher asked.

Shit… what was the question? I just looked at him blankly. Jessica was basically jumping up and down in her seat with her arm raised in the air. Apparently she knew the answer to the question, whatever it was.

"Mr. Toliver! The Great Depression started on December 19th, 1929," she said with a smug grin.

I could give a shit less if she answered the question right or not, but she answered it wrong.

"Mr. Toliver, the Great Depression actually started with the stock market crash on October 29th, 1929, also known as 'Black Tuesday'," I said, correcting her.

"Very good, Bella. Sorry Jess, but Bella was right," The teacher responded

Jessica just glared at me. I couldn't help but laugh a little. Great, another way to make her an enemy. Oh well… it's not like I can help it if she didn't know the right answer. With that the bell rang for lunch.

At lunch Rosalie, Jasper and I started to walk over to a table in the far corner of the cafeteria when a smell of something outrageously delicious wafts over to our table. I dart my eyes around the room looking for the wonderful smell and then I lock eyes with a green eyed man.

**EPOV**

The first half of my day was pretty much the same. Boring. I didn't have any classes with any of the new students.

I walked into the lunchroom and went to sit with my family, and my sort of girlfriend, Tanya. I already had my lunch tray of pizza. It was either pizza or mystery meat, yuck!

When I sat down, Tanya put her arms around me, and I kind of shrugged her off. She could sometimes get very clingy. I hated that shit. Alice was talking a hundred miles a minute. She had her Trig class with the blonde girl; her name I found out was Rosalie. Emmett had his History class with the guy, Jasper. No one had a class with the brown haired girl. I found out through some of the gossip around us that her name was Isabella, but preferred to go by Bella.

Tanya started telling me about how Bella, was apparently starting off on the wrong foot with Jessica. Jessica and Tanya had been friends since before kindergarten. So, that puts Bella on Tanya's shit-list if she's pissed off Jessica.

I started to feel something prickling my neck. I looked over and there she was… Isabella. She was definitely more beautiful up close. She just kept staring at me. I couldn't look away. Tanya just kept talking to me, but I couldn't hear her. It was like everything else just disappeared. Then our gaze was broken by the blonde guy, Jasper. He glared at me. I was shocked… was he a protective older brother, or was there something kinky going on in that family…

**BPOV**

Oh My Fucking God! I have never seen a human man that I would love to just ravish, and I don't mean eat, but this man had to be the most perfect thing I have ever seen. He had to be over 6 feet, with bronze mussed hair. Did I mention that he had green eyes? The green eyes just did me in. They were sucking me in.

Jasper grabbed me by the arm and started leading me back out of the cafeteria. "Why in God's name do I feel an ungodly amount of lust coming off of you?" he said. I glared at him for taking me from my object of lust.

"For your information that guy in there smelled absolutely delicious, but not as delicious as he looked." I smirked at him.

Jasper always had thoughts about us getting together, but I thought of him as a brother and not a lover. He never pushed it so we still had a great relationship, nothing too uncomfortable anyways. If he tried to push it anymore I would have to pull off his balls and hand them to him. We couldn't really take out of sexual frustration on the humans, so we sometimes filled the need together. Rosalie wouldn't have any part of it since she was raped right before she was changed.

"Bella, did you not see the other people at his table? There were two girls, one of which could be his girlfriend, while there was another huge guy there. Why did you just zero in on him?" he said.

"I don't know. It was like when I spotted him I lost sight of every other person in the cafeteria." I shook my head. "If you hadn't pulled me out of there I don't know what I would have done." Jasper grabbed me in for a hug when the little pixie of a girl that was sitting with the green eyed god walked outside. She just looked at us.

I was expecting her to run off when she saw us, because most people couldn't really stand being near us even if they wanted to be. She walked closer to us and smiled while extending her hand. "Hi! I'm Alice. You must be the new kids." Jasper let me go and started to growl. Alice then said something that made my jaw drop. "Don't make that noise with me Jasper Cullen. I know you won't hurt me… yet."


	2. Ch 2: Flirting With Disaster

**A/N: **Can I just say WOW!? I so did not expect anyone to read my story! I just want to say thanks to the people who actually left me a review and as promised here is chapter 2 today. When I saw the reviews a huge grin broke out on my face!! I so didn't expect them, so how about a few more grins (reviews) for this chapter?

I want to thank my wonderful beta – Jadiona You should definitely check out her stories. They are great!!

**DISCLAIMER: **I unfortunately do not own anything Twilight, but I do like taking the characters out to play.

_PREVIOUSLY:_

_Alice then said something that made my jaw drop. "Don't make that noise with me Jasper Cullen. I know you won't hurt me…yet."_

**Flirting with Disaster - Chapter 2**

**BPOV**

Jasper just had about the same reaction that I did. Only his whole body dropped to the ground. Alice just smiled at him and tried to help him up. "I know what you are and who you are. I know that you can feel emotions, so what emotions do you feel coming from me?" Alice said to Jasper.

I couldn't say anything… what the hell was up with this little girl? She said she knew what we were. How did she know?

Jasper looked confused and said, "You are feeling very euphoric right now. Why?" Alice just grinned and jumped up and down.

"Jasper, I think the more important question to ask our new little friend here is HOW does she know this stuff?" I said. Alice then just turned and looked at me with her dark brown eyes and knowing smile.

"Well, Bella, I am a clairvoyant. So I've seen many things regarding you guys. Your "eating" habits, and other things." Alice said.

"Who were you sitting with in there? Do they know?" I asked, concerned that too many humans might know what we were (in all reality one was too many).

"Well, I was sitting with my "brothers". (She even used the air quotes.) "Emmett is the big one and Edward is the green eyed one. I even know you want Edward," she said to me with a snicker. "But they don't know what you are. I don't normally tell them about my visions. They think I'm a little weird," she said sadly.

"They are my adopted brothers. The other girl at our table is Edward's whore-friend, Tonya. She likes hanging out with Edward because he is like the only person here at school that hasn't hit that. But he likes her as a person so he doesn't mind her hanging around. They are sorta dating." Alice said. I then started to growl and trying to look in through the windows.

Just then the bell rang for lunch to be over. The kids started piling out of the lunchroom. Edward had his arm around Tonya's shoulder while she looked up at him like she was trying to undress him. I growled again when they passed. Edward then turned his eyes on me and then quickly looked away.

**EPOV**

After Bella and her brother went back outside Alice just kept sitting there with the blank look on her face. I could tell she was looking into the future. Tonya doesn't know about Alice's 'ability', so she just thinks that Alice zones out from time to time.

I nudged Alice underneath the table with my knee to try and bring her out of it. Sometimes she gets so caught up in the future that she forgets the present. She turned to look at me and grinned. Then she shot up out of her chair and ran outside.

I didn't know what she was doing. She can sometimes be a nosy little shit, but she has good intentions. Tonya kept talking about her regular shit. I hardly even paid attention anymore. It gets very boring hearing about how she chose her outfit for the day, or how she broke her nail. I really didn't care. I was too caught up in trying to see outside and what was going on with Alice and the new students.

When the bell finally rang for lunch to be over, Alice still hadn't returned. We all started walking out of the lunch room and I put my arm over Tonya's shoulders. I knew she liked all of that PDA shit, so I obliged most of the time.

When we got outside, I heard a noise over to the side and I saw Bella looking at me again. It sounded like she growled… maybe it was a burp so I looked away hoping she didn't get embarrassed by me hearing her.

**BPOV**

Alice grabbed Jasper by the arm pulling him to their next class that they shared. I started trudging my way through the pouring rain to my next class, Biology. I walked in to the room to be overwhelmed by the scent of Edward again. I looked around the room and there he was sitting next to that whore Tonya.

The lab table behind them had an empty seat so I took it not even realizing there was someone already sitting at the table with me. Edward didn't even glance at me, but Tonya caught me looking at Edward and she just gave me a bitch smirk. You know the one… like I have him and you don't.

The guy I was sitting with was Emmett. He was HUGE! He looked like he had been lifting weights his whole life. I just sat back and waited for the class to start when he started talking to me. "So, you're one of the new girls huh?" I just looked at him from under my eyelashes. "Yeah, I'm the new girl. I met your sister Alice during lunch. She seems really nice, but is she always so chipper?" Emmett started laughing; actually it was more of a guffaw.

Tonya turned around and said, "Emmett, what the hell is so funny?" Edward then turned around and just chuckled at Emmett. "Well, T-Bag, the new girl made a very astute observation about our little sister Alice." I just looked at him; did he just seriously call her T-Bag??? I laughed my tinkling laugh.

Tonya glared at me and then turned her ugly red head to look at Edward and started whispering to him. Since I have excellent hearing I could hear everything she said. "Edward, what the hell is up with that snotty bitch behind us? She sounds like she has bells for a laugh."

He whispered back with a smirk, "Tonya, quit being such a bitch. You're just jealous that Emmett already likes her more than he likes you." His voice was so beautiful. I couldn't even believe my ears. Since when did a human have such a beautiful voice?

I decided right then and there that I couldn't stand this stupid bitch, she didn't deserve Edward. So I only did what I could do. I squeezed my shield between me and Emmett and pushed it into her and she tumbled off of her chair. Edward reached over and grasped her arm before she completely hit the ground. I just stared at him cause he was super fast. Not anywhere near as fast as vampire speed, but pretty damn quick.

All through the rest of the class I had to watch T-Bag make googley eyes at Edward because he "saved" her. He must have been used to it, because he didn't pay much attention to her. After class, they walked out with their arms around each other, and I was walking with Emmett.

"So, how long have they been together?" I asked Emmett.

"Well, they've only been "together" about 4 months, but we've all known each other since the start of our freshman year of high school. She is sort of the school slut, but Edward isn't like that. He 'respects' females," he said with a smirk.

I couldn't help but laugh… I had a feeling that I was going to like Emmett.

**EPOV**

Tonya Emmett and I went on to Biology class. We were sitting there just bullshitting, when Bella walked in. I tried really hard not to stare at her. I didn't want her to think that I was weird because I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I hadn't noticed until now what she was wearing. She had on tight black jeans and a grey top with a black cardigan over it, with black pointy toed pumps.

She sat down behind Tonya and me at the table with Emmett, but she kept looking at me. I don't think she even noticed Emmett at the table until he spoke to her.

Next thing I really heard from behind me was Emmett cracking up. Tonya turned around and said, "Emmett, what the hell is so funny?" I turned around too and just chuckled at Emmett. "Well, T-Bag, the new girl made a very astute observation about our little sister Alice," he said. Uh oh, Tonya really hates being called T-Bag. It's sort of a pet name come up by Emmett because of something he had done to her once. I heard Bella laugh at that. It sounded musical, with tinkling bells.

Tonya glared at her and then turned to face me and started whispering. "Edward, what the hell is up with that snotty bitch behind us? She sounds like she has bells for a laugh."

I really hoped Bella hadn't heard her, so I whispered back with a smirk, "Tonya, quit being such a bitch. You're just jealous that Emmett already likes her more than he likes you."

Next thing I knew Tonya was tumbling off of her chair. I reached over and grasped her arm before she completely hit the ground. I couldn't just let her hit the floor.

All through the rest of the class I had to endure Tonya make googley eyes at me because I had "saved" her. I couldn't really stand that shit, so I tried like hell to just ignore her.

**BPOV**

The next class was choir. I loved to sing. It was my favorite past time. I couldn't play an instrument worth a shit, but I could sing with the best of them. That class was probably the best class of my morning. The teacher asked to do the whole "do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do" thing… which in my opinion was absolutely the stupidest thing ever, but I guess he just wanted to figure out my range. My teacher was very impressed with my vocal range and kept hovering around me for the whole class. I didn't mind, except Jessica was in this class with me too and she was shooting daggers at me the whole class. Again I just waved at her. I bet that was really pissing her off. Heh heh heh!

Edward was in this class as well. He played the piano for all of the shows our choir put on during the school year. He was completely awesome at it. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his long beautiful fingers stroking the keys. I could just imagine what else those fingers could do. I had a feeling that this class was going to the best of the year.

We went over when and what our first performance was going to be. We had to write our own songs. That was fine with me; I loved writing my own lyrics. I just had a shitty time with putting music along with it. I guess that was where Edward would be coming in to play. Normally if I wanted music to go along with my lyrics I would just have Jasper play with his "Music Maker". He loved that damn toy and he was actually pretty good at it.

I couldn't take my eyes off of Edward though. He just sat at the piano picking out tunes. I felt like I was in a trance. It was like he was calling to me through the class even though he wasn't even looking at me.

"Hey," I said softly.

He finally looked up at me. He looked surprised that I had come over to talk to him.

"We haven't actually met yet. I'm Bella."

"Hi, Bella. I'm Edward. It's nice to meet you. How do you like Forks?"

"Oh, well… hmm… it's okay I guess. We haven't been here that long so I haven't really seen too much around here."

"Well, there really isn't much to see," he smirked. God he was so beautiful and now that I was standing over him I could see his pulse beating in his neck. I just wanted to touch it. To see how it felt. I wanted to sniff his neck… to see how it smelled up close.

"Oh… well, I guess I won't venture out then. What's the point right?"

"Well, you could go to the Forks Diner… it's always good food there. Or you could always go hiking. There are plenty of places to hike."

I just laughed.

He started laughing with me. "What's so funny?"

"Oh… nothing… just that you stated probably the most obvious thing about this little town. The woods", I laughed again. I was acting fucking giddy around him. I didn't normally act like this. I was normally sullen and bitchy. That's me… the 'Sullen Cullen'.

"So are you going to be writing any songs for the performance?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think I might be able to come up with something. You?"

"I don't know. It depends on if anything comes to me before then. I normally just like writing the music and playing it. I'm not normally good with the words."

"Well, if you come up with a good musical piece and would like some words to go along with it, maybe I could help. Ya never know."

He just looked up at me with his intense green eyes and said, "Yeah, ya never know."

**EPOV**

After Biology I went off to Choir. Emmett constantly makes fun of me for being in choir, but really I figured it was better than band. Jessica was following me again. She thought that since she was friends with Tonya she would be friends with me. I mean I don't really care, but she's definitely annoying.

I just kept my head down and didn't encourage any conversation with her. Finally we made it to the classroom. I sat down at the piano and then I realized I felt that tingling sensation again. I thought that maybe I was starting to get sick or something, but then I saw her. I didn't realize that she would be in this class, or I would have walked her here. I'm sure being the new kid at school sucked, plus not knowing really where you were going.

The teacher asked her to sing "do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do". I couldn't believe it. She was beautiful and she had the voice of an angel. Well, not really an angel… maybe a sexy sultry angel. Jessica kept shooting daggers at her. Bella just waved at her. That was pretty funny. I don't think Jessica could intimidate an ant, much less Bella. She looked like she could kick some ass if she wanted to.

The teacher was making his way around the classroom just helping students with their songs. I kept feeling like someone was staring at me. Then I was surprised when I heard her.

"Hey," she said softly.

I was sort of surprised that she came over to talk to me. I mean, I hadn't talked to her at all, all day long.

"We haven't actually met yet. I'm Bella."

"Hi, Bella. I'm Edward. It's nice to meet you. How do you like Forks?"

"Oh, well… hmm… it's okay I guess. We haven't been here that long so I haven't really seen too much around here."

"Well, there really isn't much to see," I smirked at her.

"Oh…well, I guess I won't venture out then. What's the point right?"

"Well, you could go to the Forks Diner… it's always good food there. Or you could always go hiking. There are plenty of places to hike."

She started laughing. I loved her laugh, maybe Tonya didn't like it but I sure did. I couldn't help but joining in with her even though I had no idea what she was laughing at. "What's so funny?"

"Oh… nothing… just that you stated probably the most obvious thing about this little town. The woods."

"So are you going to be writing any songs for the performance?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think I might be able to come up with something. You?"

"I don't know. It depends on if anything comes to me before then. I normally just like writing the music and playing it. I'm not normally good with the words."

"Well, if you come up with a good musical piece and would like some words to go along with it, maybe I could help. Ya never know."

I couldn't help it. She was just too beautiful. "Yeah, ya never know." She didn't know that I meant that in a double way. You never know when the right person is just going to drop into your life. I didn't know this girl, but I definitely was feeling something.

**BPOV**

I started walking to my last class which was gym, when Rosalie glided over. She had that class with me. Apparently Emmett had the class with us, since he walked up to us. This was going to be fun.

I may be a vampire, but I still hated playing sports. Carlisle always tried to get me play baseball with him and Rose and Jasper, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had sucked at sports in my human life, and I didn't even want to try now that I was graceful and strong.

Rose just looked at Emmett like he was a piece of meat. Emmett almost fell over from the glare from Rosalie. "Rosalie, I would like for you to meet Emmett," I said. Emmett just kept staring like he couldn't believe his eyes, because he kept blinking.

Rosalie then said, "Well, hello Emmett, nice to meet you."

He finally broke out of his trance and grinned a stupid goofy grin. He looked like a kid that just found out he got the run of the candy store. "H-H-Hi!" he said.

I just laughed and walked in to gym with Rose and Em following me. This was definitely going to be an interesting class. We were playing dodge ball. Wow, great sport activity. I really didn't want to play but the teacher made me. Tonya and Jessica both had to be in this class, didn't they? They looked like they were all buddy-buddy on the other side of the gymnasium. Emmett and Rosalie were on my team. Oh we were gonna kick the shit out of the other team and I was going to relish in that shit!

I could here Tonya and Jessica trying to figure out a way to hit me with the ball. Rosalie looked over at me with one eyebrow raised in a silent question. I just smirked at her and shrugged. Once the game started I knew what I was going to have to do. Tonya got a hold of the ball and looked directly at me, then let loose with as much force as her puny arms could put into the throw.

I used my shield to let it deflect the ball away from me. Rosalie hissed at me. I shrugged once again… I really didn't care. I grabbed the ball and threw it with a little more force than a normal teenage girl and it hit Tonya in the head. She went down hard.

Lots of the kids rushed over to her. Emmett just looked at me like I was crazy and ran over to the poor little heap of Tonya. Rosalie grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to the locker room. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" she screamed at me.

I looked at her square in the eye and explained the situation between me and Edward and this stupid bitch Tonya. "You saw that she aimed directly for my face with that ball. She was trying to get to me first", I said.

"Well, you better hope no one noticed the deflection and your 'inhuman' strength behind that throw or Carlisle is going to have your hide! And if not him, then I will", she said.

I huffed behind her and said, "Fine, let's go back out there and I will make sure to apologize to her."

When we walked back out of the locker room T-Bag was sitting on the bleachers holding her head in her hands while Edward rubbed her back. I was astounded. Why was he here? He isn't even in this class. Emmett walked over looking at me weird.

"I went to get Edward because Tonya kept calling for him," he said.

"Oh, well, I guess I'm just going to go over there to apologize to her." I said.

Emmett grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to face him. "How did you do that?" he asked.

Inside I was definitely worried, but on the outside I just looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"I saw the ball headed directly for you but at the last minute it turned and then you knocked her out cold for a minute with that throw." He said.

"Oh, well, she must have thrown a curve ball. My ball must have hit her weird of something," was my lame ass excuse. I looked at the ground and walked away. Shit! Rosalie is gonna kill me.

I walked over to Tonya and gave her a timid smile. Edward just glared at me. If it wasn't for me being immortal I would have shrunk back from that glare. Man, he has intensely beautiful eyes.

She was glaring at me too, but it was kind of funny because one of her eyes were black already from the hit she took.

"Tonya, I am really sorry about that. I don't know how that happened. It must have hit in a weird way for it to make you fall like that," I said.

She just kept glaring at me then smirked only so I could see, since Edward was still staring at me. Then she broke down and started crying again. Edward broke the stare and immediately grabbed Tonya by the shoulders.

"What's the matter, hun? Are you in any pain?" he said. I then saw what she was doing… she was going to milk this for all it was worth.

"Oh Edward, it was just horrible watching that ball fly towards my face," she said.

I giggled a little at that.

Edward turned to me and narrowed his eyes. Then he kissed Tonya on the temple and said, "It's alright, we'll get you taken care of. You will come home with me and Esme will take good care of you."

Great… looks like my standing went from interesting new girl to hated new girl, in the eyes of Edward Masen. Shit!! Now what am I going to do?

**EPOV**

I had study hall for my last class of the day. I was trying to come up with a song for the choir performance, when Emmett came rushing in.

"Edward, Tonya got knocked out at gym and when she came to she started begging for you."

"How the hell did she get knocked out?"

"Well, Bella actually hit her in the head. Man! That girl's got some arm on her."

The teacher excused me and we ran over to the gym. When I got there I looked around, actually looking for Bella, but all I could see was Tonya. Most of the class was surrounding her. I ran over to her and put my hands on both sides of her face. I could tell that she was going to end up having one hell of a shiner. I started rubbing her cheeks with my thumbs.

"Are you okay?"

She started fucking crying. I hated it when girls cried. I always felt helpless when that shit happened.

I looked up at what Tonya was glaring at… it was Bella. She was walking towards us with a small little smile on her face. Why the hell did she have to hit Tonya in the face with that ball?

"Tonya, I am really sorry about that. I don't know how that happened. It must have hit in a weird way for it to make you fall like that," she said.

At that Tonya started crying again. I grabbed Tonya by the shoulders to pull her into a hug.

"What's the matter, hun? Are you in any pain?" I said.

"Oh Edward, it was just horrible watching that ball fly towards my face," she said.

Bella fucking giggled a little at that. Why the hell would she laugh at my girlfriend being hurt?

I pressed a kiss Tonya's temple and said, "It's alright, we'll get you taken care of. You will come home with me and Esme will take good care of you."

I hated high school shit. I hope Bella didn't do that because of me. I really didn't want to put up with this bullshit. Maybe I shouldn't have trusted my first instincts with Bella. I thought she seemed sweet. Maybe she was a bitch.

E/N: If you want to see Bella's outfit, you can check it out on http://www(dot)topnews(dot)in/files/images/Kristen-Stewart1(dot)jpg

(just replace the (dot) with periods) Thanks!


	3. Ch 3: Mystery Vision

**A/N: I don't own Twilight, but I do own this twisted plot. *snicker***

Okay, this whole chapter is in EPOV...hopefully you like it! Please leave me a review if you love it, or even if you hate it! Just be gentle please.

**CHAPTER 3 – The Mystery Vision**

**EPOV**

I'm not sure how it happened, since I wasn't there, but from what Tonya told me, the new girl Bella had it out for her. I don't know why since she only started today. I just couldn't figure it out. As I drove us all home, Alice kept quiet which was very unusual and Emmett just had this goofy grin on his face. I was taking Tonya home with us to see if Esme could give her anything to make the swelling in her eye go down. When we got home Esme was hanging new curtains in the dining room. With one look at Tonya, Esme jumped down and grabbed Tonya in a tight hug. Tonya started crying again while she was telling my mom what happened.

"Honey, how hard did you hit your head?" Esme asked Tonya.

"Well, after I got hit by the ball it knocked me out and I fell to the ground, so I'm not sure," she answered.

Emmett walked in and told us that she hit the ground pretty hard. Esme thought it would be a good idea to take Tonya to the hospital to make sure that she didn't have a concussion. So I went with Tonya and Esme to the hospital while Emmett and Alice stayed behind. After about a 3 hour wait in the Emergency Room waiting room we were finally called back to the area to be seen by the doctor. A blond haired man walked into the room with us. He didn't look to be very old, but I noticed that he had the same colored eyes as the new girl. This must be her dad.

"I'm Dr. Cullen," he said. Then he stopped when he looked at Esme. It was like he looked shocked to see her, but she just blushed and looked at the ground. He shook his head and walked over to Tonya and started checking her out. At the end of the consult, Dr. Cullen gave her a clean bill of health, and a note for her to be able to sit out of gym for the rest of the week. He then pulled my mom out of the room to talk to her.

"So, how are you feeling hon?" I asked Tonya. She just looked up at me and smiled.

"I'm feeling so much better now, especially since you are here with me," she purred.

I just chuckled at her. She was constantly acting like I was the best thing that happened to her, but I knew I was just another conquest to her. I was the only guy at our school that she hasn't slept with, and that thought was always in the back of my mind. She just looked at me up through her eyelashes and batted her eyes at me. I actually kind of liked it when she did that. I leaned down and placed a light kiss on her swollen eyelid. Then she grabbed my face and just held it and stared me in the eyes. I couldn't help but feel the attraction to her. She was very beautiful but just a little tarnished. She leaned in and I knew what she wanted. I couldn't help it, because I wanted it too.

I placed my hands in her tangled red hair and pulled her face close to mine and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She parted her lips and a small sigh left her mouth. She tasted like peppermint. The kiss deepened and our tongues were wrestling around when the door opened and I jumped back. I know I looked guilty, but she just looked very smug.

Dr. Cullen showed us out of the room and we left. Esme and I took Tonya home after we left the hospital. On the ride home from dropping Tonya off, Esme was deep in thought. I just kept looking at her. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Was she mad that she caught Tonya and I almost making out in the doctors office, or was it about the conversation she had with Dr. Cullen?

"Mom, what's wrong?" That brought Esme out of her trance like state and smiled sadly at me.

"You know, you always seem to know when there is something wrong with me. I'm just trying to figure out if I want to go on a date with Dr. Cullen," she explained.

I just looked at her shocked. What the hell? They've known each other all of what? 20 minutes? How the hell is that possible? "Mom, are you sure about this? You just met him," I said.

"I know honey, but it's like there is this inexplicable pull for both of us. It just seems right. Plus, it's only a date. You know, us old ladies also get lonely," she snickered at me.

Hmmm…this is just weird, thinking about my mom on a date. Wow, I can't even remember her EVER going on a date. "If that's what you want Mom then go for it. I sure as hell am not going to stand in your way."

When we got home Emmett and Alice were sitting in the living room playing on the Wii. Alice jumped up and hugged our mom. Apparently she had already "seen" what was going to happen. It kind of freaked us all out that Alice could see the future but in a way it was nice just because she knew when any big danger was lurking around. She didn't always have the visions of the future, just when something big was happening. Plus she didn't always tell us what was going to happen. Sometimes I felt like a pawn in her game of chess. But I still loved her.

Emmett was pissed that Alice had been beating him at the game they were playing. He ended up breaking one of the remotes. It seemed like we always had to buy new ones. He wasn't just a big muscle head. He also had brains to go with it. He was always one of the top students in our class.

Alice ran over to me and just looked in my eyes. I knew something was up, but of course she wouldn't tell me what it was. "So how was your day, Edward?" she asked.

"It was fine. Why?" I questioned.

"Oh no reason," she said with a smirk.

"What aren't you telling me? I can tell you know something. What is it?" I was starting to get pissed.

"Nothing that concerns you… yet," then she ran away giggling.

Emmett looked over at me and rolled his eyes. "She has been acting like that all day long. I'm getting pretty tired of it. Why does she feel the need to only fill us in on part of her "visions"? I don't get it."

"I'm not sure man. She definitely gets annoying with all that crap. So what the hell is up with you? You had this shit eating grin on your face after school today. What's going on?" I asked him.

Emmett just got the goofy grin on his face again. "Dude, I met the new hot chick today. Rosalie… what a beautiful name," he sighed. I was definitely shocked at his behavior. What the hell is up with my family?

"Oh, I think I caught a glimpse of her in the gym. Isn't she related to that Bella chick?" I snarled. Emmett just looked at me.

"Dude, what's with the snarl? That "Bella chick" is pretty awesome, plus she's hot too. I had a good time talking to her in Biology. Plus, Alice said that she talked to her too. Why do you have a problem with her?" he said.

"Well, for one she obviously she has it out for Tonya. What's up with that? What is it with girls and having jealous reactions about other pretty girls in the general vicinity?" I snarled again.

"I don't think that's it at all. Bella seems to be comfortable in her own skin, plus she is way hotter than Tonya. No competition. Just because Bella got in a shot at Tonya doesn't mean it was because she was trying to mess up her pretty face. Tonya was actually the one who started it with Bella. Tonya tried to hit Bella in the face. If anyone's jealous I would say it would be Tonya," he explained.

"Why didn't Tonya tell me about that?" I asked more to myself than to Emmett.

"Well obviously Tonya doesn't want you think anything bad about her. Well other than the stuff you already think." Emmett snickered. "I think I may have to try and get it on with 'The Rose' though. Man oh man!! What a body! She is definitely the whole package."

"DUDE! You just met her today. How can you know if she is the whole package? Yeah she's got the looks, but what about her personality?" I asked.

"I don't know man, I just feel like there is this pull between us."

Oh God! Not another one in my family. Two in one night!? What the hell is going on? Something is definitely not right. "I'm gonna go see what I can pull from our little sister."

I walked upstairs to Alice's bedroom. She was trying to figure out what to wear to school tomorrow. "OH! Good! Edward, which outfit makes my ass look better, the short blue jean skirt or the tight leather pants?"

"Really Alice?! You're going to sit there and ask me about your ass? I can't even look at your ass… It's just not right!!" I looked away quickly.

"Edward, you really are a pussy, ya know it? Even Emmett looks at my ass. It's a perfectly nice ass. It's not like you are my real brother." She started walking over to me with this little glimmer in her eyes. "Edward, you know you want me."

I stumbled backward. "What the hell is wrong with you Alice?"

She stopped in her tracks and started laughing hysterically. "Edward… It really is too easy to fuck with you, ya know?"

I just glared at her. It wasn't funny from where I was sitting. "Alice, can I talk to you seriously now?"

"Edward, you are always serious. You need to lighten up. You'll get grey hair before you turn 19! I'm not gonna talk to you until you let me know which bottoms I should wear."

"Why does it matter?" I say exasperatedly.

"I want to look nice for Jasper tomorrow. He is soooo cute! Those beautiful blonde locks of hair of his. Yum! I just wanna run my fingers through them," she sighed.

"No… not you too? What is going on! I feel like we are in the twilight zone or something. First mom, then Emmett and now you! What is going on? I don't think I can take it anymore. Just give me a little hint. Please!!??" I nearly screamed at her.

"Edward, you know you don't want me to do that. You have told me time and time again that my "ability" pisses you off. Even though you can change your future you still feel like I am the puppet master that pulls your strings when I have my visions. If I don't tell you my visions then you don't know if I'm pulling them or not. All I will tell you is that everything around here will be changing," she said.

"Fine. I don't wanna know. As long as no one is running off to Vegas to get married, I don't care what happens and leave me out of it. I like my life just as it is."

**E/N: I love playing with Alice...she is just to cute to me. :) Leave me a review and maybe I'll post another chapter tomorrow. We'll see. Thanks!!!**


	4. Ch 4: Strange Occurences

**A/N: Hopefully my beta will forgive me for not putting in my appreciation for her last time! Sorry BB!! Jadiona is the bestest there ever was! :-)**

**Disclaimer: SM owns twilight, I finally own my own house. woohoo!!**

**Chapter 4 – Strange Occurences**

**BPOV**

Carlisle came home from work that day and gave me the most "Dad" look that he could. I knew right then and there that he knew what had happened at school. I didn't know if Rosalie or Jasper had told him or what though.

"Bella. I had a patient today with a very swollen eye and almost a concussion. Do you know anything about that?" he said patiently.

"Ummm… would it hurt my case if I told you I didn't know?" I hedged.

"Bella, I thought you of all people would be able to control yourself," he said sadly.

"Why do I always have to be the one who controls herself? I am tired of living a lie! I just want to be able to run without worrying if a human is going to see me. I can't help it. That girl was really getting on my nerves. You should have heard how she was talking about me."

"Bella, why do you care? Normally you just let stuff blow by, but not this time. Why is it different?" he asked.

I knew right then and there I was defeated. I had let Carlisle down. I hated letting Carlisle down. "Dad, I know. I'm sorry. I had a very rough first day at school. There is this guy. His blood was like the most succulent thing I have ever smelled. And it's not just his blood, but his whole being. If Jasper hadn't gotten me out of the cafeteria then I probably would have been having a "real" lunch with all of the other students. I know it wasn't right, but I almost couldn't help myself," I told him as I sat down defeated.

"Well, I'm glad that nothing like that happened. It is very rare that we find our "singer" in this life."

"What is a singer?" I asked.

"A singer is where a specific person's blood basically sings to us. It calls to us and most vampires just take it."

"Wow, I'm glad I at least didn't do that."

"But why did you take it out on that poor girl?"

"She is his girlfriend." I choked out. I hated feeling so weak. "I know it doesn't matter, but then she just kept saying stupid shit about me. I tried to block her out but her voice carries very well. I just couldn't take it anymore, and then she threw the ball at me. If I hadn't deflected the hit, then it would have hit me."

"Bella, it's not like the ball would have hurt you."

"I know, but it just brought back some memories from when I was a human and sucked at sports. I was always the last person picked to play on any teams, and people would always make sure that I got knocked out first cause I was the easiest. I just couldn't let it happen, especially from her," I told him.

"I see. Well, just try to abstain from acting out please. I understand when people get under your skin. I know it can be difficult, but please, just try."

I looked at Carlisle then and nodded. I would try to keep from tearing her to pieces if it meant that I would never have to see that look of disappointment from Carlisle's eyes again.

**CPOV**

I know it is sometimes hard for Bella. She really isn't that old, and I worry about her. She had such a traumatic experience when she was living, and she still acts out from time to time.

_Memory__:_

_When I first ran into Bella in Portland, Oregon I knew there was something special about her. I always know when there is something special about a person. That is part of my own capabilities. I know when someone will have a special ability when they are human and when they are in trouble. Poor Bella came into the hospital a poor bloody mess. She was covered in the stuff. She had multiple contusions and lacerations across her body. She was found in an alley in the bad part of the city. After we got her cleaned up and bandaged I just sat in her room after my shift. I was taking a special interest in this young woman. _

_She was barely hanging on to this life by a thread. I hated to think that I would yet again have to change another human into the beings that we were. I had only changed Rosalie. She had been raped and left for dead. I couldn't let such a beautiful creature go from this world. I knew the world would be a better place for her to be in it. Bella is much the same case, which I found out later. Only she wasn't raped. She and her mother had been out shopping and got lost in the confusing streets of this poor city._

_A vampire, whom I don't know, attacked them. Her mother was not so lucky to survive this accident. She on the other hand had. Her brain had kicked into overdrive when the vagrant came for her. She was able to block all of her senses from this vampire, like she disappeared. That was when the police came and found her and brought her to the hospital. As I listened to her barely there breath, and her faltering heartbeat I decided, then and there that I would have to take this poor child under my wing. _

_End of Memory_

Bella is more like my child than Jasper or Rosalie, but I would never tell them that. Jasper was a nomad for a while before we ran into him and he decided that he couldn't take the turmoil of living the "true" vampire way of life. He could feel the fear of his victims.

Rosalie had hated me at first when she realized what I had done. After she was changed she went on a rampage against the men that attacked her. It took her a while to come to terms with what I had done.

Bella has been the most easy to live with. She has never once doubted me. All the time I feel like I am going to end up letting her down. When I first saw the woman, Esme, I knew right then and there that she was for me.

I would not willingly change her unless it was absolutely necessary, but she just evoked so many emotions that I had long ago thought I had lost. I would die for this woman. I know now that she is to be my mate. I don't know how, but I at least have to try. That is why I asked her on the date.

"Esme, I am sorry if this is very forward, but I feel like I need to get to know you better. I'm not entirely sure as to why but I would like to have the chance to figure it out, if you will let me." I had said to her.

"Dr. Cullen, I'm not sure what to say. I know you have just moved here, but I know nothing about you. I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel the same pull towards you. Please just let me think about it and I will get back to you," she had answered.

After I had finished talking with Bella, Jasper walked in. "Carlisle, I know what Bella did at school today was not very smart, but I just wanted to let you know that she is truly sorry for what she did."

"I know she's sorry. I never doubted her. I just need for her to realize that she can't just run amuck because someone pulls a stupid stunt like that girl did."

"Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure you knew that. Um, Carlisle, I have something else I needed to talk to you about. There is this girl at school, Alice. She said that she is a clairvoyant. Apparently she knows about us."

"What?! How is that possible? Most clairvoyants are frauds. Hmmm… apparently we have some big challenges in this small town. I should have done more research instead of just picking up and moving here. At least it should be interesting."

"Also, I noticed that some guy has caught our Rosalie's eye. It is Alice's and Edward's adoptive brother, Emmett. Why are we all feeling this "pull" to only members of this one family?"

"Jasper, now that…I do not know. It is very strange. I don't even know if we will ever know."

**E/N: Well, now you have a little bit of Bella's back story. We will find out later who the vamp is that attacked Bella and her mom. Just leave me a review with the answer!! :) Hope you liked it!**


	5. Ch 5: Twisted Relationships

**A/N: Hey guys!! I just wanted to give a shout out to the people who have actually reviewed my story, teambellaedward, gabzCoatz, and my wonderfully awesome beta Jadiona.  
I don't want to be a review-whore, but really I thought I was doing a pretty good job with updating every couple of days. If you guys are reading it then why not just push the little green button at the end and let me know how it's going? Do you feel like you are missing out on something? Would you like me add something? If you like it, just let me know so I can know whether or not to keep writing it. **

**Anywho...now after my little pitty party I have a warning to go along with this chapter. I'm sure some of you were wondering where the M rating would come into play instead of just the occasional language, well this chapter is the first lemon. :-) I just want you to be warned it is not Bella and Edward. Hopefully not too many people will send out the lynch mob, but I just thought it fit. Hopefully you all will understand. Now...on with the show!!!!**

**CHAPTER 5 – Twisted Relationships**

**BPOV** – _About a month later _

I'm not sure where the time had flown. Normally time just drags by when you have an eternity to live. Alice is becoming my best friend fast. Normally I don't worry about the kids at school. I just bide my time for the graduation and wait to be able to go about my business without worrying about school. I've been to college a couple of times already, but I just want a break from it all. Alice has been true to her word about not telling anyone, including her family about our secret. She is falling fast for Jasper. It is cute to watch. At least now I don't have to worry about him trying to get in my pants anymore.

_Memory__: _

_It was almost 5 years after I had been changed by Carlisle. I was a virgin as of when I had been attacked with my mom on the streets of Portland, Oregon. I had never even really thought about sex much since being changed. I just figured I would end up being the oldest virgin in the world. Little did I know… _

_I had been out hunting with Jasper. We had just finished killing a couple of caribou when I heard a growl. I crouched down into my defensive stance and swirled around to look at the offender. I came face to face with Jasper. He was looking at me like I was something to eat. I was thinking what in the hell was he doing?!_

_Next thing I know I'm laying on the ground flat on my back with Jasper__'__s mouth covering my own. At first I was surprised and then I started liking it. I could still taste the flavor of the caribou blood on his tongue. I ran my hands through Jaspers blond locks of hair and tugged. He growled again and started moving his tongue down the side of my neck. I let out a soft moan. I had never had these feelings come over me before. I was scared and nervous. _

_Jasper looked down into my eyes silently asking me if this was okay. I grabbed his neck and pulled his face down to meet mine again. It was my way of confirming his silent question. I flipped him over easily since he wasn't expecting it. I was kneeling over him and I started running my tongue over his neck to his ear. I purred and nibbled on his ear. _

_I had never thought of Jasper in this way, and I was surprised I liked it._

_He ran his hands through my hair pulling it to the side and kept kissing on my neck. Then he started running his hands down my sides until they came to the hem of my shirt. He started pulling it up my body and over my head. I just tugged at his shirt and yanked it off of him not caring that I ripped it. He ran his hands over my back, my arms and then finally he started palming my breasts. It felt sensational. He then started suckling on my left breast while rolling my right nipple between his index finger and thumb. I ground my pelvis into his hard dick. I couldn't believe how hard he was. I guess the marble feeling didn't stop at the skin. _

_I was then quickly flipped onto my back again while Jasper silently kissed his way down my torso to the edge of my pants. Then he pulled them and my underwear off swiftly so I was laying there in nothing but my smile. I leaned up onto my elbows and looked at Jasper through my eyelashes. Finally I was able to speak, "Jasper, take off your pants." It was a rough whisper more than anything._

_He looked up at me through the hair that had fallen in his eyes. Then quickly made away with his pants and crawled back up to chest and pulled me into a more heated kiss. I could barely think, but the one thought that kept running over and over in my head was YES!!_

_He placed the head of his cock at my already wet entrance. I moaned again into his mouth then pushed my hips up into his. He slid in easily. I screamed at this insanely intense painfully pleasureful feeling. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to have more. If you have ever seen a vampire run, you can only imagine what it looked like when we had sex. It was just a blur of motion, but I could feel every ridge in his penis inside of me. I could feel the wind as it brushed across my bare skin. Then the next thing I knew I was flying over my first peak of orgasm. He was looking into my face and had a look of reverence as he watched me cum. I wanted him to follow me. "Jasper, cum for me." Then his look turned to one of pure lust and desire. He reached his hand down between us and started rubbing on my clit. "Bella, I want us to cum together." I felt this huge wave of lust come off of him and I was over the ridge again. I was glad it wasn't a necessity for us to breathe, because I couldn't. I let loose a combination of a purr and a moan. Jasper collapsed against me and we laid there for a while, just resting and placing gentle caresses across each other's bodies. _

_That was the first time I had had sex with Jasper.  
_

We didn't do it often, maybe once in two or three years and it was nothing really more than us being 'friends with benefits'.

I loved Jasper, but it wasn't like I was 'in love' with Jasper. Everyone needs to find a release. I had Jasper and he had me. Rosalie had her cars. Carlisle had his hospital and patients.

Watching Emmett tag along after Rosalie is just funny. No one else knows how much she likes him except for me. We had a brief conversation about it just the other day. I think she is falling for Emmett almost as much as Alice is falling for Jasper. Dad has been dating Esme. Not even a week after he asked her out she called and confirmed. It is so nice to see Dad be happy about something other than work. If any of us deserve to be happy it is him.

So, that just leaves me all alone. Edward and Tonya have become more involved as the time passed by. I think that my little stunt that I pulled on my first day of school has ruined any chance of me being able to have any type of relationship with Edward. We haven't even had a real civil conversation since my first day. I have been being nicer to Tonya, but she just makes it so damn hard. She's always flaunting her relationship with him.

**E/N: Okay...well I know it's a short chapter but hey... like I said up top...at least I'm updating every couple of days. If you want to see the next chapter by Sunday, or even Saturday night I would really like to see a bunch more reviews! ~ Reviews may Jasper growl and pounce. :)**


	6. Ch 6: Unwanted

**A/N: Well, I promised the chapter would be here today...and...here it is. I know it may be moving kind of slow...not a whole lot of action yet, but trust me...all good things come to those who wait! :) I give up begging for reviews. If you want to, go ahead, if not, then don't. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight...I never will. I don't own Edward...but I really really want to. **

**Wanna throw out my thanks to my wonderful beta Jadiona...You're the greatest!!! ;)**

**The song in this chapter is Unwanted Sung by Avril Lavigne. I think it fits with everything Bella is going through with Edward not talking to her and stuff. Hope you like it! The song link is on my profile. **

* * *

**Chapt****er 6 – Unwanted**

**BPOV**

Choir class is the only thing that makes this god forsaken place bearable for me. We have a show coming up within the next few weeks and I am actually pretty excited about it. I am the lead singer to most of the songs in this show, much to the chagrin of Jessica. This show is made up of songs that we–the students–wrote.

Edward is having trouble putting the music with my lyrics to one song. The choir director wants Edward and me to stay after class today and work on this song. Edward was playing on a keyboard when I walked in. I think the song is very suiting for us. Actually I wrote this song because of him, but of course I'm not going to be telling him that. I planned on making all of my songs anonymous. Edward looked at me as I'm walking over to where he is sitting down.

He does not look happy to see me. "Hi," I say meekly. God I hate it that he does this to me.

"Hey. Let's go ahead and get to work on this song. I'm not sure why I'm having such a problem with this song. Normally the music just flows to me when I hear the lyrics to a song, but this one is giving me all kinds of problems."

"Would it help if I sang it? That way you know the notes that I want to go with the words?"

"Yeah, that should help," he said.

I sucked in a deep breath even though I didn't need it. He is the only person that makes me nervous. What if he doesn't like my singing? God, here I go again. Shit!! "Okay, here goes nothing."

_All that I did was walk over  
Start off by shaking your hands  
That's how it went  
I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight  
Oh, yeah, yeah  
I wanted to know you  
I wanted to show you_

_[chorus]  
You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
You don't want me there  
You just shut me out  
You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
If you had your way  
You'd just shut me up  
Make me go away_

_No, I just don't understand why  
you won't talk to me  
It's hurts that I'm so unwanted for nothing  
Don't talk words against me  
I wanted to know you  
I wanted to show you_

_[chorus]_

_Make me go away  
I tried to belong  
It didn't seem wrong  
My head aches_

_Its been so long  
I'll write this song  
If that's what it takes_

_[chorus (2x)]_

_Make me go away  
Make me go away_

"Well?" I said to him. He just kept staring at me like I had two heads. Great, now I have gone and freaked him out. I turn around and started walking to the door, when I heard him start playing around on the keyboard.

"So, how does this sound?" he said. The melody he started playing seemed to go along perfect with the vocals.

"Yeah that sounds about right," I said to him. When he started the melody over again I joined in singing.

"So, what made you come up with this song?" he said without looking at me.

"Well, it just sort of came to me after I started here at school. Some people act like they don't want me to be here" I said quietly.

He turned to me and just looked in my eyes. "Why would you think that? It's just the way some people think when a new person shows up at school. They always pick on the newbies but I think it's an awesome song. I haven't told you, but I like the way your voice sounds."

If I could have blushed I would have. "Oh, well… thanks." Wow, let's give me a prize for the most complex answer of the century! "Well, I haven't told you either, but I think you play the piano beautifully. How long have you been playing?"

"Oh, I started playing when I was about 10. For some reason music just comes to me. I can't explain it, but I love it." He said with a gorgeous crooked smile.

I just about fell over from that smile. I couldn't take it. I was ready to jump him, when the choir director walked in. "So, how is everything going in here guys?" the teacher said.

We both just looked down at the ground and said it was going fine. I turned around and walked out before I could get in anymore trouble at this school. Edward rushed after me. I could hear his footsteps coming after me, but I didn't turn around. I knew I was done. I didn't know if I could take it.

"Bella! Wait!! Shit you sure can walk fast. Where are you going?" he asked.

"Umm… I think I'm just going to go home. I have a lot of school work to do," which was a complete lie! I just couldn't handle being around with him anymore. I was afraid I couldn't control myself and my thirst, I needed to hunt!

He grabbed me by my arm. I was wearing a short sleeved shirt and when he touched me I thought my arm was on fire. I jerked it out of his grasp. "Wow, you should be wearing a jacket or something Bella, you're really cold," he said.

I just shrugged. He was making it very difficult to think. I was getting ready to run when he asked me, "So, Alice, Emmett and I are going to this new club over in Port Angeles. Jasper and Rosalie are coming too. I just wondered if you wanted to join us."

I almost choked when he asked me this. What about his little T-Bag? Hmmm… this may be the perfect opportunity. "Well, I guess I could come. I'll ask Jasper and Rose what time to be ready. Thanks for inviting me." I quickly jumped into the car and drove off.

* * *

**EN: Hope you liked it...you know what to do...Push It!!! LOL Thanks for reading!!**


	7. Ch 7: Night Out

****

A/N: Hey guys!! Not much to say, other than if you want to see a pic of Bella's outfit, the link is posted on my profile page. Hope you enjoy!

Jadiona is the greatest beta! She keeps me in line. :)

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Twilight. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. *sigh*

* * *

**BPOV **

I walked in to see Jasper and Rosalie playing a game of cards. "So, you guys are going out tonight, huh?"

Rosalie just looked at me. "Yeah. We didn't ask you because you normally don't go out with us when we do go. That's why we didn't ask you."

Jasper could tell that I was pretty pissed and he sent me a wave of calm. I just sighed. "Well, Edward asked me if I wanted join you guys and I said yes."

Rosalie jumped up. "What?!? You want to go!? Why? Ohhhhhh…I get it. You want to try your luck at the boy toy huh? Can I help you pick out something to wear? All you ever wear is plain shirts and jeans," she sent me that "famous" smile so I guess she was going to be picking out my clothes.

"Rose, you don't need to try to "convince" me. I want him to fall on the ground begging for mercy when he sees me," I said with a smirk.

So, Rosalie and I went to her room to dig through her clothes. She was a little bit more busty and curvier than I was, but I was no toothpick. Plus she was great at altering clothes.

She picked out this little black top that looked almost like a corset and a short silver mini-skirt. All she needed to do was take in the bust of the top. The bottom was fine on me, when I knew it was normally skin-tight on her.

Rosalie helped me with my hair and make-up, because as she said, I'm normally 'Plain Jane'.

I was feeling pretty sexy by the time I walked downstairs. Jasper was down there waiting on us girls to get ready. When I walked in, Jasper just stared at me like he was going to eat me. If I wasn't already an immortal I would have been seriously scared.

In the blink of an eye, Jasper was by my side trying to drag me upstairs. "Bella, you can't wear that. I can't even concentrate on anything but you. I don't want the dance club to turn into a sex party! I don't know if I can control myself." He was rubbing his hands up and down my arm and kept looking at my cleavage.

I was actually enjoying the attention a little bit, seeing as how it had been about two years since our last encounter. Plus, if Jasper was going to react like this to me then I knew Edward would be begging for mercy. "Jasper, honey, you know I have to look my best. Rosalie wouldn't let me out of the house if I wasn't 'dressed to kill'."

I sent him my best flirty smile. He then grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed his mouth onto mine. It definitely took me by surprise, because I thought he was head over heels for Alice. I don't know what had gotten into us this time, but I couldn't pull away. We just stood there locked in this crazily frantic embrace and kept kissing. He was getting ready to pull off my top when Rose came into the room.

"OH MY GOD!! What the fuck is your problem!? Jasper let go of the poor girl. What about Alice?" Rosalie said while she was pulling him off of me. At that thought, Jasper must have felt bad because all I could feel was remorse coming from him. I just looked at him and gave him a pat on the back and a kiss on the cheek. "It's okay Jazz. It happens to the best of us. It has been a long time."

"But, I should never be able to do these things with you, while I feel so crazy about Alice. She's going to kill me when she finds out," Jasper murmured.

"No, you can't tell Alice. What are you going to say? 'Oh sorry Alice, but I just about fucked my sister cause she looks hot tonight.'" I said to him in a mocking voice.

Rose jumped in and said, "No, Jasper you are not going to tell Alice. We will just chalk this one up to its been two years since you two had been together, plus you not being able to 'be in that way' with Alice cause you're afraid you'll hurt her. There will be no telling on yourself, cause that would just make Alice mad and make you sad. I am not in the mood to be putting up with your ass tonight." With that, we decided to head out to the club.

On the drive over to Port Angeles, Jasper hardly looked at me. I know he still felt bad for what had happened, but like Rose said it's not like he can do anything with Alice yet. She just looks so fragile, and I'm sure that he wouldn't be able to control himself and end up breaking her. I knew that would not be a pretty picture.

We pulled into the parking lot at the club. Even though we were obviously old enough to drink, we still had to get fake ID's because I definitely didn't look like I was 58.

The line to get in was horrendous. So we waited in the parking lot for the other group to get here. When they pulled into the parking lot I just about puked. I didn't realize that T-Bag was going to be coming along, but I should have known. Edward was always followed around by that stupid little bitch in heat.

They all walked over to us and when Edward saw me, his mouth just dropped open. I couldn't help it but I was feeling really good about myself at this point in the night.

Tonya grabbed Edwards arm and started talking to him when she saw what he was looking at. She was NOT happy.

This club was 18 and over so we were all good to get in. So we walked up to the bouncer and handed him our IDs. I had decided to have my age listed as 21 on my 'new' ID because I liked to drink. I knew that the Masen's would find out about my 'fake' ID but I honestly didn't care. Since the 'local kids' had been here quite a bit before we didn't have a problem getting in.

The club was almost jam packed full when we got in there. I knew that this was going to be a fun night.

* * *

**E/N: I'll be posting the actual party time tomorrow or sooner, depending on if I get motivated enough. You know how I get motivated? Reviews...their the bestest! **


	8. Ch 8: Unexpected Happenings

**A/N: Okay, I had to repost this chapter since it did funky things with the alignment. Here is an easier version to read. (hopefully) **

**Disclaimer: Damn! I still don't own Twilight. I guess I never will. Stephanie Meyer is definitely keeping it close to her side. (As she should. She deserves the credit.) **

**Beta + Jadiona = the greatest ever! Thanks for keeping me in line hun!!! You should check out her stories. Lots in progress and all great!!****CHAPTER 8 – Unexpected Happenings**

* * *

**BPOV**

As we walked into the club it seemed like everyone was staring at us. I decided that I wanted a drink. We couldn't eat human food, but drinking wasn't as bad on our systems. I decided to at least act human since I was out. I went to the bar and the bartender just stared at me like I was a goddess. "What can I get for you?" he asked. "I would like a dirty martini, no olives. Please?" He handed me my drink. I was pulling my money out of my bag when he said that, the drink was on the house. I gave him a little wink and walked over to our table.

While I was walking across the dance floor this man grabbed on to my ass and started trying to dance with me. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. Most people didn't just grab our kind. I decided to let this man get his jollies. He wasn't half bad looking, just a little short.

He was trying to dance, but it looked more like he was just trying to dry hump me on the dance floor. I was starting to get pretty annoyed now. I started to turn around and walk off the dance floor, but he grabbed me by the arm. "Hey, where do ya think your going?" He said to me. He was apparently already three sheets to the wind.

Edward must have seen this little exchange and felt like he needed to rescue me, since he didn't know that I could take care of myself. I thought it was cute. Edward came up and grabbed my other arm while glaring at this man. "Leave her alone," he snarled.

This man smirked and said, "What? Are you her daddy? She doesn't want me to leave her alone. Look at the way she's dressed."

That set Edward off, "What the fuck does it matter how she's dressed? If she starts to walk away then let her walk away. Obviously she doesn't want to dance anymore."

I gave this man a snarl of my own and he backed off. I can be pretty scary when I want to be. Luckily Edward didn't see my "mean" face.

He walked me outside. He looked like he was ready to kill someone. I grabbed him to keep him from hitting the wall. "Edward, are you okay?"

He just looked at me like I was crazy. "Am I okay?! Really?! You have to ask? That guy had his hands all over you and then he kept trying to dry hump you on the dance floor! Of course I'm not okay."

"Edward, it's okay. There was no harm done. It's not the first time I've been felt up. Why do you even care?" I asked.

He looked at the ground with a confused look on his face. "I don't know. I just feel very protective of you. I couldn't stand the look on his face. He looked like he wanted to eat you alive."

I laughed at that. If he only knew how reversed the roles were in this scenario he would have shit his pants.

"Apparently this is all some kind of joke to you Bella. What would you have done if he had tried to drag you out of there?"

I put on my serious face. "Edward, you know that would never happen, especially with Jasper and Rosalie here. They wouldn't ever let anything bad happen to me, because they are my brother and sister. But… I really appreciate the thought from you. It means a lot more," I said.

I then decided to hell with it. I grabbed his face and placed a light kiss on his lips. Once that happened, all hell broke loose. I couldn't take it anymore and apparently neither could he.

We fell back against the wall outside of the club and started kissing heavily. I am glad that I didn't have to breathe, because I knew I would have suffocated from this kiss. He was even having a hard time breathing. He tasted almost as good as he smelled. I don't think I would ever get enough of Edward Masen.

He was my other half. It was like our bodies just meshed well together. I fit perfectly in his embrace. He was like my lock and I was his key. Finally he broke off from the kiss and rested his forehead against mine. He was breathing heavily.

"Bella… I… I… I'm sorry." I stared at him after that comment.

"Why are you sorry? That was probably the most amazing kiss I have ever had. Why would you apologize for that?" I said.

He just kept staring in my eyes which I could tell had grown darker from the experience we just had.

Then he said, "Bella, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm in a relationship with Tonya. I can't do this."

I knew right then and there that there was nothing left for me in this life. If I couldn't have him, my other half then what else can I have? Second best? I don't want second best. I want this man. I would try my hardest to end up with the guy, but I decided to suck it up for now. I didn't want to make things any harder on him than necessary. I knew he was one of the 'good guys' and I didn't want to turn him into one of the bad ones.

"It's okay Edward. I understand. I'll stay away if that's what you want."

He jerked his head up and looked at me like I was stupid. "Why are you going to stay away? I didn't mean it like that. I still want to be your friend. We just can't do this anymore." I just nodded, and we walked back into the club.

I then noticed that the stage of the club had a karaoke machine set up. Rose just rolled her eyes when she saw me jumping up and down. She knew that I loved singing and she knew where I was going to be most of the night.

Jasper said, "Come on, Bella, you know you want to."

Alice got kind of this far away look in her eyes. Then she looked at me and had the biggest grin. "Yeah, Bella, you should definitely do it!" she said.

Edward just grinned at me and nodded. I got up and walked over to the DJ and asked him if I could get in on some of the action. He just about fell over. I couldn't get enough of the reactions to my outfit. I was going to have to buy something super nice for Rosalie.

I got up on the stage when the lights went out. I decided to make fun of what had happened earlier in the evening with the skeeze ball.

**"U + Ur Hand"**

Check it out  
Going out  
On the late night  
Looking tight  
Feeling nice  
It's a cock fight  
I can tell  
I just know  
That it's going down  
Tonight  
At the door we don't wait cause we know them  
At the bar six shots just beginning  
That's when dick head put his hands on me  
But you see

Chorus:

I'm not here for your entertainment  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight  
Just stop and take a second  
I was fine before you walked into my life  
Cause you know it's over  
Before it began  
Keep your drink just give me the money  
It's just you and your hand tonight

I glanced over at Edward and gave a little smirk. He had the lopsided grin on his face.

Midnight  
I'm drunk  
I don't give a fuck  
Wanna dance  
By myself  
Guess you're outta luck  
Don't touch  
Back up  
I'm not the one  
Buh bye

I gave a little wave and a wink.

Listen up it's just not happening  
You can say what you want to your boyfriends  
Just let me have my fun tonight  
Aiight

Repeat Chorus

In the corner with your boys you bet 'em five bucks  
You'd get the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck  
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see  
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah

You know who you are  
High fivin, talking shit, but you're going home alone arentcha?

Repeat Chorus 2x

When I finished that song I had another one that I wanted to sing for the green-eyed hunk out in the crowd. I didn't know if he would catch on or not, but I at least had to try.

**"Things I'll Never Say" Sung by Avril Lavigne**

I'm tugging at my hair  
I'm pulling at my clothes  
I'm trying to keep my cool  
I know it shows  
I'm staring at my feet  
My cheeks are turning red  
I'm searching for the words inside my head

_[Pre-Chorus]_  
I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
Cause I know you're worth it  
You're worth it  
Yeah

_[Chorus]_  
If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I wanna blow you... away

I sent a little sly grin between 'blow you' and 'away' since there was a pause there.

Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight  
If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down…On one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess, I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say

It don't do me any good  
It's just a waste of time  
What use is it to you  
What's on my mind  
If it ain't coming out  
We're not going anywhere  
So why can't I just tell you that I care

_[Pre-Chorus]_

_[Chorus]_

What's wrong with my tongue

I licked my lips.

These words keep slipping away  
I stutter, I stumble  
Like I've got nothing to say

_[Pre-Chorus]_

Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say  
If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I wanna blow you...away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight  
If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down…On one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess, I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say  
These things I'll never say

After that song I walked off of the stage and went to sit at the table. Edward would hardly even look at me. Rosalie just rolled her eyes when Emmett pounded me on my back.

If I had been a real 18 year old girl I probably would have buckled under the pressure of his hand. "Damn girl! You rock! No one told me that you could sing like that," Emmett said.

I just chuckled. Apparently everyone else thought so, cause they came over to our table asking to buy me a round of shots. I declined all of them just because I didn't want to push my luck with the alcohol. I won't get drunk, but if I have too much I end up puking all over the place and that would just ruin my night.

Tonya apparently didn't want to be at the table with me, so she went to the bar to get her own drink. "That was a… cool song you just sang there Bella," Jasper said.

"Yeah, I thought so. I just love Avril. She has such meaningful songs," I said with a laugh.

Edward was starting to loosen up again. I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "What did you think about the song?"

He shivered. I don't know if it was from my breath or from me being so close to him. He raised his perfect green eyes up to mine. Our faces were still close together, and suddenly everyone in the room disappeared for me again. I don't know what this guy has over on me, but damn, it's hot!

Just at that point and time T-Bag decided to join the table again and pulled Edward from our gaze. That sent me over the top. I wanted her out of the picture for good. Jasper jumped up and grabbed my shoulders.

"Hey Bella," he said a little too loud, "Why don't you sing another song. I'm sure the crowd would love it." I gave him a sharp nod and walked back over to the DJ's booth.

I picked out one of my favorite songs and I knew that it would make a statement. I couldn't help but snicker.

**"Girlfriend"**

_[Chorus]_  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
No, it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend

You're so fine, I want you mine, You're so delicious  
I think about ya all the time, You're so addictive  
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?  
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious  
And Hell Yeah  
I'm the mother fucking princess  
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right

[Bridge:]

She's like so whatever  
And you could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about!

I was really getting into the song now and jumping around the stage.

_Chorus_

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me  
And even when you look away I know you think of me  
I know you talk about me all the time again and again  
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear  
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear  
I don't want to hear you say her name ever again  
(And again and again and again!)

_[Bridge]_

_[Chorus]_

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
Cause I can, cause I can do it better  
There's no other  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid  
What the hell were you thinking?!  
_[repeat]_

[_Chorus]_

As I was singing the song, I noticed that just about everyone in the club was on the dance floor. Jasper was dancing with Alice.

Alice gave me a thumb's up and pointed over to Edward and Tonya. The look on Tonya's face was priceless. She looked so mad, especially when Edward couldn't pull his eyes off of me.

The way the lights of the club shone on my dress it looked like I was sparkling. I decided after the song that I would just mingle within the crowd. If I felt the need I would end up singing again before the night was over, but I wanted to act normal for once and just hang out with my family and new friends.

Some random girl at the club got up on the stage and started singing "I Will Survive". I ran over to Rose and Alice and we started singing along while shaking our asses back and forth to the music on the dance floor. If this isn't normal then I don't know what is!


	9. Ch 9: Fallout

**A/N: Well, here is chapter 9. Hope you like it. Don't kill me. :)**

**Jadiona is my beta and she's the greatest. If you get bored, go on over and check out her stories. They are all really awesome. :)**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer is the owner of all things Twilight. I just like taking them out to clubs and getting shit stirred up! LOL**

* * *

CHAPTER 9 - Fallout

**BPOV**

After we all got back to the table Alice sat next to me and pulled me into a huge hug. I knew that if my body wasn't the consistency of marble, she would have been hurting me. I hugged her back with just a little squeeze then backed away.

"Those were some awesome songs!! Did you see T-Bag's face?" Alice screamed.

"Yeah, I saw, but I'm not sure what the reaction was from Edward. Did it just piss him off? I don't want to push him away, ya know?" I asked. Alice knew what I was starting to feel for Edward.

"Oh don't worry about that. Just go talk to him. T-Bag just went to the girls room," Alice snickered.

So I looked around the room and Edward was standing in a corner by himself. I walked over to him and leaned against the wall beside him. I didn't know what to say. Normally I have no problem with talking to people, but he just left me speechless. He looked like he was brooding about something and I didn't want to push my luck too far with him.

"So, are you enjoying yourself?" I asked him. I don't think he even realized that I had come over.

"Oh, um yeah, sure. Why do you feel the need to piss off my girlfriend? I just don't get it. You can get just about any guy in here and you try to go after me," he said angrily.

Wow…I'm sure if my heart was beating it would have stopped at those words. I honestly didn't know what to say to that. I hate to make an ass out of myself and he just put me in my place.

"Well, Edward," I snarled, "for your information those are some of my favorite songs. It helped get everyone off of their asses in here and to help everyone have a good time except for you. Why do I disgust you so much?"

"Oh, Bella, you don't disgust me. Its just that Tonya has been after me for a while now, and I want to give it a chance with her. If I knew this was going to be a problem," he said motioning between himself and me, "then I don't know if I would have invited you. I want to be friends and get to know you better, but ONLY as friends. If you can't do that, then I guess it was a mistake to invite you tonight."

I was speechless. I didn't know what to do or say. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I couldn't. The words were just stuck in my throat. Can I try and make it to where I can be just friends with Edward? Can I try to make nice with his girlfriend?

"Alright, Edward. If that's how you want things to be that's fine with me. I have no problem with that. I can be your friend. I'm just going to go apologize to Tonya." I said softly.

I didn't realize how bad it would hurt to be rejected by him. If he only knew how strongly I felt for him. As I stepped up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek I told him I was sorry.

I turned around and walked to the bathroom. Tonya was sitting at the little makeup table in front of the mirror. I walked over and sat next to her at the little girly table.

"Tonya, I just want to apologize. I know you and Edward are a couple. I will back off. I just want everyone to be happy. Please don't hold it against me. You know better than anyone how hot Edward is. I am just one of the many girls," I choked on that word, "that find him irresistible."

"Oh girl don't I know it. He is definitely irresistible. That is why I have been trying to get him in my bed for the longest time. Once I do, I don't care what you do. I'm just along for the ride. Once I get him I may try to get back with Emmett. He was a wild animal in bed. I bet Edward just tries to be sweet. Sometimes I get sick of all the sweetness. And if you tell him anything that I just said, it will be denied, denied, denied."

I couldn't believe it. This bitch was just trying to get in his pants! I mean I completely understand, but he is a person too. What if he starts falling for her? Oh my god…I think I just puked in my mouth a little bit at that thought.

"Well, Tonya, good luck with that and if you hurt him in the process you will have me to deal with." With that I turned around and left.

Alice came rushing up behind me. "Oh God Bella, my vision had a completely different ending than this. Tonya must have said something to make Edward's reaction change. I don't know what happened. I am sooooo sorry."

I just patted little Alice on the back. "It's okay. I should have known something bad would happen. It always does, especially when it involves me."

Tonya came out of the bathroom holding her cheek and crying. I didn't know what happened. She was fine when I walked out of the bathroom.

I could hear what she was telling Edward. "Oh, Edward! I don't know what I did to her. Bella just walked into the bathroom and started pushing me around and yelling at me. Then she slapped me. What did I ever do to her!?" Edward slowly turned his head around to face me and sent me a stony glare. I looked over his shoulder and saw Tonya smirk.

I knew that I had to have a look of shock on my face. What the hell did I do to deserve this?! Is it because I am an immortal that I can never live in peace?

Edward got up from the table and walked over to me. "Don't – you – ever – talk – to – me – or – my – girlfriend again. If you ever come around us again I will not be held responsible for my reactions." Then he stalked off with his arm around Tonya.

**Tonya POV**

Who the hell does that pale skinny bitch think she is? Thinking she can try to take Edward from me, like she could. HA!

After she gave me her fucking apology I decided I would make her look like the bitch that she was. I slapped myself as hard as I could. I put on the water works and started out of the bathroom.

"Oh, Edward! I don't know what I did to her. Bella just walked into the bathroom and started pushing me around and yelling at me. Then she slapped me. What did I ever do to her!?" Edward slowly turned his head around to face that stupid bitch and sent her a stony glare.

She looked over his shoulder at me and I smirked at her. HA! Let's see how far she can get with him now.

Edward got up from the table and walked over to her. I couldn't hear exactly what he said to her, but I knew it wouldn't be good. Then he came back over to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I continued to sob into his chest. She will never get my man!

**BPOV**

Rose, Jasper, and Emmett had all congregated around where Alice and I were standing after Edward took off. They all had no idea what was going on. They all started talking at once trying to figure out what had happened.

Alice got this glazed over look on her face and then looked at me very surprised. "Bella! No! You can't!"

* * *

**E/N: Don't hate me. :) Sorry for the cliffie!! I just had to do it. What do you think Alice saw Bella doing? Please review! Thanks!! **


	10. Ch 10: Leaving

**A/N: Thank you so much for getting me to 28 reviews. I absolutely love getting them!! :-) Anywho, I just want to send a shout out to my Beta Jadiona. She helps in keeping me writing. Lots of love to ya hun!!! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, only Stephanie Meyer. I just like taking them on trips. lol**

* * *

CHAPTER 10 – Leaving

**BPOV**

Apparently little Alice saw what I was planning. I couldn't stay in Forks any longer. I had to get away. Rosalie and Jasper just looked at me wondering what I was planning on doing.

"Guys, I'm sorry, but I need to get out of here now," I said. With that we all left the club.

In the car, Rosalie and Jasper kept asking all kinds of questions about what happened back there. "Well, I don't know if you heard Tonya's exchange with Edward." Rosalie and Jasper nodded not wanting to interrupt me. "Well, I obviously didn't smack her, because if I had, I would have completely knocked her head off." I then went into the exact details about what happened in the bathroom.

Rosalie was begging me to go find Tonya so she could tear her limb from limb. Even though Jasper was shaking with anger too, he was still trying to send calming waves through the car. I hadn't told them that I was planning on leaving. I didn't want to upset them even more.

When we got home, Carlisle was sitting in his study going through some of his medical books. You would think he could recite every thing from those books, as much as he studies over them.

I walked in and just sat in front of his desk. "Dad, I have to leave." He made a quick look up at me.

"What happened, my Bella?" he asked softly. He only calls me 'my Bella' when he is very worried about me.

So I went into all of the gory details of the evening. Looking back I knew that singing that stupid song probably ruined whatever chance I had with Edward and the stupid little bitch's performance from after the "bathroom" incident.

I told Carlisle that I was sorry, but I couldn't take it any longer. "I have to get out of here for a while. I don't want to ruin your chances with Esme. If she thinks I have been horrible to her son then she may end up taking it out on you. Plus, I don't know if I can control myself around Tonya. I don't want my actions to come against you in any way, so I have to leave. Please, don't try to stop me."

If I could have cried I would have, but I was sobbing tearless. I hated the thought of disappointing Carlisle any further. "Bella, if you feel that you have to leave, there is nothing I can do to stop you. You can come and go of your own free will. Just please keep in touch. You know we love you. If you need anything all you need to do is ask. Where do you plan on going?"

"I'm not sure yet. I may make a trip to Ireland or Scotland to travel around." I told him.

With that I walked over to Carlisle and gave him a huge hug. I ran out of his study and went to my room. Rosalie and Jasper both were sitting in there on my bed. I pulled out my suitcases. "Bella, you know you don't have to go alone. We could come with you." Jasper said.

Rosalie just scoffed at him. I knew she wanted to stay close to Emmett. They had a great relationship forming. Jasper and Alice also had the beginnings of a great relationship. She was always in such a good mood. I haven't seen Jasper this happy in a long time.

"Guys, you don't want to leave. I don't want you to leave. I will be okay. I just need to get out of here for a while. If I were to stay I don't know what would happen. I don't think I can control myself against that bitch much longer. She is just playing him! And he doesn't even see it! You guys can't leave Carlisle here all alone. What would the town think if all of his "kids" just off and left one day? At least if I'm the only one to leave, then people will just think Carlisle sent me away because I'm the "bad" kid. You guys just have to keep up with the gossip and follow along. Okay? I love you guys, but I just have to go."

Rosalie ran over to me and pulled me into a huge embrace. It wasn't like Rosalie to be all emotional like this. She started sobbing. "Bella, please tell me you will come back. I know I might not always show it, but I truly do love you like a sister."

I just looked at her. I didn't know what to say. She never acted like this. "Rose, of course I'll be back. I just can't take it here anymore. It has nothing to do with you guys."

Jasper came over and joined in on the hug. I said, "Guys come on! You act like I'm leaving for good. I will be back. Don't worry about me. I'm finally getting what I want. I get to go and see more of the world." I smiled at them and gave them both a kiss.

I was going to miss them but I had to get out. I was on my way out the door, when Carlisle grabbed me. He handed me the keys to his car and gave me another hug. "Here, Bella. You can take the Mercedes. I'll just use another one." I almost choked up again on that. Carlisle loved that car!

"Dad, why do I need the car? It's just going to be left in a garage at the airport."

"Well, then you have to make sure you come back to us soon to make sure I get my car back," he said with a small smile. I nodded and just ran to the woods. I had to hunt before I left on my trip.

I ran for a long time, and then I realized that I smelled something so familiar. It was Edward's scent. Did I somehow end up running all the way to his house? I stopped and sniffed again. Alice's scent was very strong too. I walked just to the edge of the woods to look at their back yard. Alice was sitting there on the picnic table in the back, like she was waiting on something, waiting on me.

I walked out of the woods and went to sit beside her. She put her little head on my shoulder. "Bella, I don't want you to leave. You are like the sister that I never had. I'm so sorry that the stupid bitch is ruining everything. But Edward just acts blind as far as she is concerned. I can't understand it. It's like he is under a spell around her. He normally can tell when someone is bullshitting him, but not her." I could tell that Alice was having a tough time with this. "Alice, I'm not leaving for good. I'll be back in a little while. I'm just going to go traveling."

"Yeah, but I can't see where you are going. Why is that?"

"Alice, the reason why you can't see where I'm going is because I don't even know where I'm going yet. Just do me a favor, try to keep Jasper in line. Okay? I'll be back before you guys know it."

"Wait Bella! What about the choir performance?" she asked.

"Well, they are just going to have to find someone to either fill in for me or just not play my songs. I don't know. It's not really my problem," I shrugged.

"Oh, well, if that's the way you see it. I guess I can't stop you. I just wanted to try and convince you to stay." She had such a sad little pout on her face.

"Alice, why don't you sing my songs? I know you can sing them. How many times have we been sitting in the car singing our heads off? You can do it. I really don't want them to have that stupid Jessica girl singing my songs. That would be the worst ever. You should get Rosalie to help you "convince" the choir director to let you sing my songs. It would mean a lot to me. There are two songs in particular that no one knows about, that I want to be sung at this thing. More importantly, I want Edward to hear them. The music that goes with these songs is going to be made by Jasper for me with the "Music Maker" so Edward hasn't even heard them. Do you think you could do it? For me? Please!?"

Alice squirmed a little bit, and then finally said yes. I hate that I can't be there for the performance, but it would probably be better for everyone involved if I wasn't. I carried the songs in my pockets always, just in case I decided to make changes to them or if I wanted to write a new one. So I handed Alice my songs and gave her a hug.

I got up from our seat and walked slowly back to the woods, when I felt like I was being stared at. I turned around and looked at the house. I saw Edward in an upstairs window looking down on me. I gave him a small wave and walked back into the woods.

**EPOV**

What the hell was that about? Why is Bella walking in the woods alone at night? She had to have hiked about 10 miles just to get to our house from her house. There was definitely a lot I didn't know about this girl.

When Alice came back inside I asked her, "Alice, what was Bella doing outside?"

"Well, Edward if you must know she was coming to tell me bye." Alice said with a sniffle.

"Bye? What you do mean by that?" I was really confused.

"Bella is leaving Forks. Apparently she took what you told her at the club seriously. Why are you so dense Edward? Can't you tell that you really hurt her feelings?" Alice was getting really upset.

"Why are you taking her side? I thought you liked Tonya. Did Tonya deserve to be slapped around tonight?" I asked her.

"Oh MY GOD Edward!!!! You really are dense. Bella definitely did not slap Tonya. She staged that whole thing. If you can't figure this shit out on your own, then you really do need help. Tonya is after only one thing from you and you know it. What do you think she is going to do when she gets what she wants? Are you just going to sit here and let it happen? Let her treat you like shit?" Alice was practically screaming now.

"Alice you have no idea what you're talking about. Tonya really isn't that bad." I told her.

"Bullshit Edward. If you would pull your head out of your ass for one damn minute you might see what everyone else sees. Since you won't believe the clairvoyant, just ask Emmett. He will tell you. EMMETT!!!"

Emmett came running upstairs. "You rang, Master?" he said in his best Igor voice.

Alice then filled him in on our whole conversation. "Man, Bella's leaving? That just sucks. I really liked her." He grabbed Alice into a bear hug since she was crying. "Dude, why do you have fuck up everything?" He asked me angrily.

I just looked at him. Great now I had the big guy pissed at me. Alice said to Emmett, "Tell Mr. Stupid what Tonya is after."

"Oh that's easy. Sex. Dude, you know that," he said with a 'duh' look on his face.

"That's not all that she is about Emmett. She is better than that." I told him exasperatedly.

"Dude no she's not. That is all she wants. You can see that little gleam in her eye. It's actually kind of creepy. You know that I hit that shit last year and she had that gleam in her eye when she looked at me all the time. Now it's there for you. That's all she wants. There is nothing substantial about that girl. Just sex and lies. You really think that Bella hit her? I bet Bella would have given her a black eye instead of a pussy slap. Bella definitely isn't a pussy… well she may have one, but her actions are way off from being pussy," Emmett snickered.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Did my family not believe that I could see what Tonya was really about? She is definitely not just after sex. Was she?

* * *

**EN: Poor naive Edward. Please leave a review. They make Edward super excited. lol Til next time!!**


	11. Ch 11: Lonely

**A/N: Hey peeps!! Hope you all are enjoying the story. :) Here is chapter 11...I know I know it's a short one, but hey...sometimes that just happens right? Read and review...it's good for you! LOL**

**Again, my beta Jadiona, is the bestest. You should seriously check out her stories if you haven't. You can find her in my favorite author's list on my profile. **

**Disclaimer: Lovely Stephanie Meyer owns all things twilight...I do not...if I did, well, let's just say I wouldn't be here, right? :)**

**

* * *

****CHAPTER 11 - Lonely**

**BPOV**

After I left Alice's house and saw Edward I felt this horrible pang in my chest where my heart should be. I just started running as fast I could. I didn't care if anyone saw me. Even if they did, they wouldn't be able to recognize me. I finally stopped at this beautiful meadow in the middle of the woods between my house and Edwards.

I walked to the middle and lay down. The sun was coming up. I knew my family would be getting ready for the day to begin. Jasper and Rose would be going to school, while Carlisle went to work. Life would go on as normal.

I would be the only one who had nothing to live for, if that was what I was doing. I felt like there was a hole inside myself. I figured I could get out of this small town and replace Edward's face with the beauty of my surroundings. I got up and headed home to make my travel arrangements.

**EPOV**

When we pulled into the parking lot I noticed that Bella was not with Jasper and Rosalie. I didn't really think that she would leave. I didn't think she would take what I said seriously. I was just mad that she had slapped Tonya.

Wow, now I felt like shit. Maybe she just called in sick today to school. Rosalie glared at me. Uh oh, I really didn't want to piss off the blonde chick. She looks like she could kick my ass.

Tonya ran by the Cullen's and Rosalie growled at her. What the hell? What is it with people growling around here? I didn't get it.

"Hey honey!" Tonya said to me and gave me a huge hug.

"So you're feeling better today?" I asked her. She just looked at me blankly.

I looked at her cheek and noticed that it didn't have any mark on it. I saw the glimmer in her eye when she realized what I was talking about, but it was only for a second, then she put on her sad face.

"Oh, yeah, I think I'm better. Where is Bella? Did she already go in to class?"

Rosalie spoke up then. "No, she isn't here today. She decided to take a leave of absence."

Tonya giggled then. That normally wasn't like her. "Oh, I wonder why?" Tonya said. Then she grabbed my hand and started pulling me along behind her. What the hell is going on?

I tried to not think about Bella not being there, but it felt like something was missing. I couldn't quite put my finger on it though.

Then choir class came and I thought 'Oh shit! The performance.' When I walked into the class and saw Alice and Rosalie. The teacher was stammering about. I guess he just found out that Bella wasn't going to be here, but what was Rosalie and Alice doing here?

I walked by them on my way to the keyboard and caught the end of the conversation. The teacher said, "Um, well I guess Alice can sing Bella's songs. Do you think you can handle it, Alice?"

Alice said, "Oh yeah, I can totally handle it. Bella even gave me her "super secret songs" that she wanted to sing at the performance."

I looked at Rosalie then and noticed that she had an awesome smile. The teacher looked at her and his face went blank, then said, "Alice it would be wonderful if you could fill in for Bella."

Weird… I guess the teacher really didn't want to postpone the performance. Jessica was sulking in the corner. When she found out Bella wasn't going to be here for the performance she was hoping to be able to take Bella's place.

Alice walked over to me where I was sitting at the keyboard. "So, Edward, wanna help me get ready for this big performance?"

All through class I played while Alice belted out the songs. Don't get me wrong, she can sing fine, but she doesn't have the seductive sound that Bella does. Whoa, did I just think that Bella sounds seductive? Shit… what the hell? Where did that come from? Then all I could think was the way her eyes looked; those gorgeous golden eyes. I shook my head. I couldn't concentrate. Alice just grinned at me like she knew what I was thinking.

**BPOV**

My trip starts out from Sea-Tac Airport to the Dublin Airport. I only stop at Ireland to see our friends Siobhan, Liam and Maggie. I don't stay long because Ireland reminds me too much of Forks, which in turn reminds me of Edward.

So, here I am on the plane to Spain. I have to be careful over here. I need to make sure that I am completely covered if I go out in the sunshine. I'm hoping for a couple of cloudy days to where I can just go during the day time and not have to worry about people seeing me.

My first stop is Madrid then I'm off to the Canary Islands. I'm sure I can find a secluded part of the beach so I can go swimming. Then from Spain, I'm moving on to Athens, Greece. I've always wanted to see Athens. Then from Athens I will be going to Italy, one of the most beautiful places in the world, with so much culture and history.

First stop is Venice, then on to Florence, then Rome and finally Tuscany. I know I'm pushing my luck with going to Tuscany, but I just can't pass it up even if it so close to Volterra.

I will just have to take my chances. Carlisle had told me about Volterra. He said that the guards roam the land around Volterra looking out for intruding vampires. The Volturi are very conscious of keeping their secrets from the humans, so they make sure that no vampires come into their territory and hunt. They bring their meals inside their castle, instead of feeding out in the city.

I know Carlisle will kill me if or when he finds out that I went there, but really what are the chances of me running into any of the Volturi vampires, right?

* * *

**E/N: Sorry it's so short...but whatcha gonna do? Please leave me a review...I love 'em!!**


	12. Ch 12: Screwed

**A/N: I just want to say thank you thank you thank you for getting me to 39 reviews. It truly warms my heart!!! I just want to put a warning up here that this chapter contains a lemon. So...if you aren't old enough...leave! :) Please? LOL**

**Okay, well...I will put another note at the bottom for everyone. See ya down there!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything Twilight. SM does. **

**

* * *

**

**CHAPTER 12 - Screwed**

**EPOV**

It has been over a week since Bella left. I still couldn't get her out of my mind. I felt like such an ass for pushing her away. Apparently Tonya wasn't hurt so bad after the incident at the club. I believe I may have overreacted a bit. No, I know I overreacted.

Jasper and Alice was becoming quite the pair. They were always together. It seemed like Alice calmed down a bit around Jasper. They were always whispering. I knew that Alice had talked to Bella a couple of times on the phone, but she wouldn't tell me anything about Bella. She kept saying that it was my stupid ass fault for Bella leaving in the first place and that I couldn't have the privilege to know what Bella was doing while she was away.

Emmett and Rose were always together too. Emmett seemed like he was calming down a bit too, but not in the same way as Alice. Alice was always too chipper, the calming down for her was a pleasant thing. It seems like with Emmett, he has become more distant with me. He also isn't after all the girls the way he used to be. Rose wouldn't even look at me half of the time, much less talk to me. I knew she hated me for pushing her sister away, but what was a guy to do? She had slapped my girlfriend.

Tonya and I have been getting closer too. She was being the attentive type of girlfriend. On the Friday after Bella left, she had me over to her house while her family was out of town to make a dinner for me. It wasn't that great of food, but I made sure to clean my plate so I didn't hurt her feelings.

We are going out to a dinner and a movie tonight. Her parents are still out of town, but I really didn't want to choke down more food tonight so I suggested the dinner out. We went out to Port Angeles to a little Mexican place. I loved Mexican food, and it is kind of tough to come by around here.

We went to see a movie called "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans". It was about vampires and werewolves and some kind of war. I didn't get to see a whole lot of the movie. Tonya wouldn't let me. She kept kissing me, not that I had a huge problem with that, but I really wanted to see this movie. I've already seen the other ones. After the movie let out we made our way back to Forks. Tonya wasn't talking much, so I could tell that something was on her mind.

"Hey baby, what's wrong?" I asked her.

"Nothing," she said softly.

"Are you sure? You haven't said much since the movie."

"Yeah, I just have some things on my mind," she said evasively.

I reached over and grabbed her hand. "Are you sure nothing's wrong? You know if something is bothering you, you can tell me."

She looked up at me and gave me a little smile. "Nothing's wrong." She reached over the middle console and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. She moved her hand over to my thigh and began rubbing up and down it. She leaned over the console and started kissing my neck. I moaned a little at that.

"Tonya, it's really hard to concentrate on driving while you're doing that."

She snickered a little at that. "I can tell it's hard," as she gestured to my crotch. My cock was starting to get hard and making my pants bulge. "Is there something wrong, Edward?" she asked seductively.

I gulped. "No, nothing's wrong. Just a little distracting is all."

With that we pulled up in front of her house. She breathed in my ear, "Edward, come inside." I'm not sure if she meant it too, but that definitely had a double meaning in my book.

We got out of the car and walked up the steps of her front porch. She unlocked the door and we walked inside. She pulled me close to her and shut the door behind my back. She slammed my back against the door and started kissing me, hard. She had her arms around my neck and running her hands through my hair. I grabbed her around the waist and started rubbing up and down her sides.

We stumbled around in the dark house and up the stairs to her bedroom. I started to protest, because I didn't know if I was really ready for this, but she grabbed the painful bulge in my pants and I lost all reasonable thought. The blood from my brain drained down to the lower regions of my body making it even more painful.

She walked me over to her bed and pushed me on it. I didn't know if I really liked this roughness from her. She straddled me and took her shirt off quickly, leaving her in a red see-thru bra. Oh my God. I almost couldn't breathe. Yeah, we had fooled around a bit during our relationship, but this was taking it one notch further. I was trying to get her to slow down, so I started kissing her more gently and massaging her perky breasts. I didn't want my first time rushed through. I wanted to take my time and enjoy all of it.

She then started unbuttoning my pants. I started to get her to stop, but she leaned over and breathed in my ear. That made my cock twitch. It wanted out to play. She jerked me up off of the bed and pulled my pants around my ankles. I wanted to take my shoes off to get the pants off, but she just huffed. "Edward, you don't have to be completely naked to fuck me."

She leaned over and pulled her skirt off. She had on matching red see-thru panties. I could see her little tuft of hair through the panties. It was in the shape of a heart. Apparently she trimmed down there. I reached over and started rubbing her through the panties and noticed that she was already completely wet. Then next thing I know she pushes on my chest and makes me lay completely down. I look up to see her taking off her panties and crawling up to meet me on the bed. "Edward, I want you to fuck me. I want to see you cum for me." I groaned at that and grabbed her face. I pulled her closer to me and started kissing her with a fervor that I had never had before.

I wanted my first time to be soft and sensual, but she was making it very hard. Literally, I was trying to get her to calm down a little bit before we just fucked. I didn't want to fuck. I wanted to make love. She was my girlfriend, not some random ass chick. She deserved to be made love to. I knew this wasn't her first time, but still. As I was kissing her I felt her shift. Then next thing I know she's sliding herself down onto my shaft. I wasn't expecting it. It made my hips jerk up. She moaned loudly. "Oh God! Edward!!" I couldn't control my actions after that. My hips just continually kept pumping, making her tits bounce up and down in front of me. I reached up and grabbed them pulling on her nipples. She shrieked at that and leaned down over me, kissing me. I pulled her closer to me and rolled her over. "Oh God Tonya, this feels amazing." She laughed at me. She fucking laughed at me. "I know Edward, now you know why I've tried to get you to do this for so looong!" She screamed, and started running her fingernails over my shoulders. I knew she had just had an orgasm, and I was getting ready to cum but I didn't know where to do it. I started panicking. "Tonya, I'm…I'm…"

"Just shoot it on my stomach or leave it in. It doesn't matter. I'm on the pill."

I didn't have on a condom cause she didn't give me a chance to put one on, so I decided to shoot it on her stomach. I pulled out just in time to explode on her.

I rolled over on my back, panting. I looked over at her and she looked disgusted. "What's wrong baby?"

"What's wrong? You just came on my stomach. Why didn't you just leave it in? Go get me a towel." She said to me.

I looked at her confused for a second, before I got up to get a towel from her adjoining bathroom. "But, you told me to put it there. I couldn't leave it in, I didn't have a condom."

"Edward, I also told you I was on the pill. For fuck's sake, now I'm all a mess. Why don't you just go ahead and leave. I'll call you tomorrow."

I didn't know what to say to that. I hated to be a pussy, but that shit really hurt. She basically just fucking told me to get the hell out. What the hell had I just done?

* * *

**E/N: Please please please don't hate me. *hiding in the corner cowering* Believe me...I hated writing it. :( Well, if I get some love from you all then I'll post again tomorrow. :)**


	13. Ch 13: Volterra

**AN: Well, here is the next chapter. I want to thank you guys so much for your reviews. I was certain that I was going to end up having to hide out for about a week after last chapter. This one isn't too long, sorry, but that's just how it works sometimes. :) Stuff sure is starting to pick up though!!! **

**My Beta is still Jadiona...she is still the greatest!!!! **

**DISCLAIMER: Nope, I don't own Twilight. Wish I did, that way I could have worked with Rob Pattinson on the set. LOL**

* * *

CHAPTER 13 - Volterra

**BPOV**

Well, here I am Tuscany, Italy. It is truly a beautiful place. I've already been to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa. If they wanted me to fix it, I'm sure I could find a couple of vampires to help me push it up right. I laughed to myself at that thought. Alice just called me and told me to be careful. She wouldn't tell me what her vision was, because it was so fuzzy, but she just had the feeling that something bad was going to happen.

I was walking around one of the vineyards in Tuscany when I smelled it. Another vampire. Crap!! Why the hell did I have to come here? I knew I should have listened to Carlisle. Just great!

As I ran in the opposite direction of the vampire, I called Jasper. He answered on the first ring. "Bella, what's wrong?" I proceeded to tell him about this vampire that was following me. I could hear his or her feet slapping the ground behind me.

Jasper asked if I needed help but at this point my phone was grabbed out of my hand. Before I had a chance to put up my shield, this huge guy vampire pushed me to the ground and I knocked out about the whole row of grapes with the distance I slid. Next thing I know everything goes black.

I came to inside a cell. Wow! That was the first time I've been knocked unconscious while being a vampire. I didn't even think that was a possibility. I heard a noise outside my room, so I quickly put my shield up around me before whoever it was decided to come in here. The guy who knocked me unconscious opened the cell door and came in. "So, what is your name vamp?" he asked me.

"I am Bella. Who are you? And what the hell did you do to me?"

He just smirked at me. "I am Demetri, a part of the Royal Volturi Guard. You experienced my power. I can knock anyone unconscious that is around me. Wanna try it again?"

It was my time to smirk at him. I knew that my shield should block his attack from me, and I wanted to try it out. "Sure, give it your best shot tough guy."

With that Demetri started squinting at me. I could feel his ability pushing against my shield. It wasn't budging though. I decided to try my luck. I pushed my shield out to knock Demetri on his ass. It worked 'cause he wasn't expecting it. I ran out the cell door that he had left open.

I ran as fast as I could through the halls of this godforsaken place. I was just lucky that they hadn't kept me in a deeper part of the dungeon or I would never get out of this place. I finally made it out of the maze of the underground and ran outside. I knew Carlisle was going to kill me when he found out. Thank God that it was night time. I didn't have on nearly enough to cover me from the sun. I ran to the nearest house and broke in.

The Volturi had taken my cell phone and I needed a quick replacement. I got the cell phone from this house and hurriedly called up Jasper. No answer. Shit!! I then called Rose.

She answered after a couple of rings. "Hello?"

"Rosalie!! I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm coming home. I've had enough of this traveling shit." I told her easily. I really didn't want to tell them about my experience.

"Bella! Jasper is on his way to find you. He should be landing in about 30 minutes at the airport. Do you think you can make it there in enough time to catch him? What the hell happened!?! All Jasper said was that he had to go find you."

I proceeded to explain to Rosalie what had happened at the vineyard and then with Demetri. She was definitely not pleased. I told her I would call her back when I found Jasper. I ran around the city square looking for a fast enough vehicle to get me to the airport in time. Rosalie had given me a couple of lessons on hot-wiring a vehicle.

I found an Aston Martin V-8 Vantage. I almost creamed my pants when I saw this car. It was maroon. I started the car and took off for the airport. I'm pretty sure I would beat Jasper there.

_**At the airport**_

I found the terminal where Jasper was supposed to be coming from the airplane. I beat his plane with 5 minutes to spare. I was actually kind of excited to see him. It had been almost two weeks since I've seen him.

When he walked into the terminal I knew he had had a rough flight. His eyes were darting around everywhere. I ran up to him and gave him a huge hug.

"Jazz! How are you? I've missed you!" Which I accented with a kiss on the lips.

He seemed to calm down a little bit when he saw me. He started dragging me through the airport. When we were outside he pulled me in for a tighter hug.

"God, Bella. I was so worried about you. I couldn't take it. First thing I'm sitting there on the phone with you then it goes dead. What the hell happened?"

So I went through the whole experience at Volterra to him. He was growling when I told him about Demetri.

I punched him in the arm and said, "Come on Jasper. Everything is fine. I got out on my own without hurting anyone. Well, with the exception of Demetri's pride." I snickered.

Jasper just looked down at me like I was crazy. "Bella, do you not realize that now they know about your power? They will for sure try to get a hold of you now. There's no way they are just going to let you go."

I hadn't thought about that. Shit, now what was I going to do?

"Come on Bella, I don't like being here this close to them. You may have been able to get out of there with all body parts attached, but if they find you still in their country then I don't think will let you leave on a plane so easily." So with that Jasper and I boarded the flight to go back to dreary nasty Forks and Edward.

* * *

**EN: Well, well, well...Miss Bella is always getting in to trouble. lol I would love it if everyone would review...I love to hear from you guys!!!**


	14. Ch 14: Maybe

**A/N: This chapter encompasses about a week. This is the same time frame of the week of Bella's disappearance. Bella disappears on the Thursday after Edward...well...you'll see. **

**Since the last chapter was super short, I figured I'd give you guys a treat. I wasn't planning on posting this tonight, but it seems slow on here. :) Hope you enjoy. **

**Jade is the best beta. She takes care of me. :) **

**DISCLAIMER: Again...nope don't own twilight. Love it though!! ****Chapter 14 - Maybe**

* * *

**EPOV – **_**Saturday night**_

What the hell had I done? I'm driving around Forks after my… 'encounter' with Tonya. I didn't even know what to call it! It wasn't making love, hell it wasn't even sex. I had just fucked Tonya. What the hell?! I really hadn't intended for that to happen. It just… did. Why was she acting like that afterwards? Was she pissed because I didn't leave it in? If she had wanted for me to put it in, then she should have given me a chance to put on a condom.

I don't even know where to go! I don't want to go home. Fucking hell!!! Alice will for sure give me shit about this. Emmett will just pat me on the back and say good job. I wonder if it had been the same for him and Tonya? Yuck! I don't even want to think about that. I don't even want to think about who else she had been with. I know I'm definitely not the first… shit now I have to go get tested. Surely she wouldn't have let me… fuck her… without a condom. She couldn't be that callous… could she? Maybe she was just mad that I hadn't been gentler? Maybe… maybe… maybe…

I have no where else to go. I have to go home. Maybe no one will notice that I'm coming home late. I think that Mom had a date with Dr. Cullen. Maybe they are out late too. Shit! Now I definitely have a horrible image in my brain. What if Mom is out late for the same reason as me… shit!! Yuck!!!

All of the lights are out in the house. Good… maybe no one is up. Maybe I can make it to my room without anyone knowing what I've done.

I walk into the house as quietly as I can. Good, no one is sitting in the living room in the dark. That's good… now I just have to go up the stairs. The third one from the bottom creaks. I need to make sure that I step over it. Okay, now the fourth one from the top sticks, so I have to skip that one as well. Whew! I made it. Now I just have to make it to my bedroom down the hall. I'm normally grateful for my room being at the end of the hall, but what I wouldn't give for it to be right here next to the stairs. Okay, here we go. I've made it!!

As I push open the door I feel like I'm free! I made it without making barely a sound at all. I turn around and shut the door as quietly as I can. I flip on my bedroom light and turn around and jump!

"Holy shit!!" I whisper scream. I can't believe it! Shit! Alice!!!

"Edward, where the hell have you been? And don't lie to me! I know where you were. What the hell were you thinking!?!" Alice shrieks at me.

"Shh! Shh!!! Do you want to wake the whole goddamn house Alice?!" I yell back.

"Edward, Esme is out on her date with Dr. Cullen and Emmett is out hunting with his buddies. It's just you and me. Now, why the hell did you not listen to me!? You knew that was all she was after!?!" she says.

"What are you talking about? I just got home late from my date with Tonya, is all. Don't worry about it. Nothing happened." I should have known that 'All seeing Alice' would know what happened, but maybe if I act like nothing did happen she will think that something made it change. "OW!" I scream as Alice slaps me in the back of the head. "What was that for?"

"Edward Anthony Masen, DO NOT LIE TO ME!!! I know what you did. Nothing changed. I basically watched. I told you she was a whore, but would you listen to me?! NO! Now what is going to happen to Be…" she stopped in mid-rant.

"What do you mean? Who is Be…" I asked.

"Nothing, don't worry about that now. I just really have one question for you Edward… Why?" she asked me plainly.

I sat down on my bed dejectedly. "Alice, honestly I don't know. I really didn't mean for it to happen. She basically forced me."

"Edward, are you trying to tell me that Tonya raped you? As much as I don't like her, I find that a little hard to believe."

"No! That's not what I meant. Of course she didn't rape me, it was just like she forced my hand. I knew that eventually I would have sex, whether it was with her or with someone else, but I thought it would mean more. I wanted to take it slowly, but she just kept rushing things. Then she basically pushed me out of her house afterwards. I just don't get it. I'm so confused and a little bit hurt. But I swear to God if you tell anyone about this, then I will lie my ass off." I answered.

Alice came and sat next to me on the bed and put her little arms around my shoulders. "I really hate to tell you, 'I told you so', but I told you that would happen. I told you she only wanted you for sex. You just have to put it behind you. Hopefully she isn't as bad as I think she is, and won't just sleep with you and leave you. I hate her for doing this to you though. No one should be treated like a piece of meat. I won't be telling anyone about this, especially Emmett. I know he would love to rag on you, but you don't deserve that either. I'm sorry."

_**Sunday night**_

I hate my life. Alice has been true to her word. She hasn't told Emmett about my problem, but I still feel bad. I thought that I at least meant something to Tonya. We have been friends forever, but she isn't answering my phone calls. I've called her three times and she hasn't answered one time. I really hate feeling like this. Maybe if I had tried harder to take things slow then things wouldn't have turned out like this. Maybe that's why she's mad at me. Because I didn't show her that I cared about her during sex. Maybe… Maybe… Maybe…

_**Monday at school**_

Well, my life officially sucks ass. Tonya is bragging all over the school about our 'encounter', but she won't even talk to me. I can't believe I fell for all of her bullshit. I'm just glad that I haven't had to hear anything from Emmett about it. Maybe by some grace of God he won't find out. Maybe if he does know then he will at least wait until we get home from school instead of in lunch to bring it up. Maybe… Maybe… maybe…

"EDWARD!!" I hear Emmett yell from across the lunch room.

I groaned. What in the hell have I done to deserve this? Why can't I just crawl into a hole and escape? I looked up and saw Emmett barreling across the lunch room to my new table. Since Tonya isn't talking to me I decided to find a new table. I couldn't stand the thought about being anywhere near her when she's being like this. I've seen it time and time again with all of her other 'conquests', but I never thought I would be put into that list. I thought we meant something more to each other. I couldn't believe that she would treat me like this. I thought we were at least friends.

"What the hell have I been hearing all day, dude? Did you really fuck Tonya?" Emmett asked me.

I couldn't say anything. I just looked at the table top and nodded.

I knew it. Emmett pounded me on the back and just guffawed. "I knew you had it in you, man! Now you can join the club!!" he said still chuckling.

I glared up at him and snarled. "I don't want to join the fucking club."

"Dude! That's what we should call it! The Fucking Club!!" he said while still rolling over with laughter.

I couldn't take it anymore. I stormed out of the lunchroom. I know he didn't mean anything by it, it's just Emmett's way, but I couldn't handle it!

I went to the doctor's office after school to get tested for any STDs. Alice suggested I do it just to be on the safe side. She did tell me that she didn't see that I had gotten anything from Tonya, but it would definitely ease my mind. I just hope that Dr. Cullen won't have to be around for the test. It's a big hospital. Maybe he won't be there today. Maybe he works an earlier shift or maybe a later shift. Maybe… Maybe… Maybe.

_**After the hospital**_

Well, thank God for small favors. I didn't run into Dr. Cullen. At least he won't have to feel like he's lying to my mom by not telling her about this little visit to the hospital. Also, I didn't get anything from Tonya. I'm just glad that I didn't have to learn the hard way about finding out why I should wear condoms when having sex. Whew!!

_**Friday (the day after Bella went missing)**_

The whole week went the same as Monday. Everyone is snickering behind their hands and pointing at me. Tonya's still not talking to me.

At lunch I realize that Jasper isn't there today. I walk over to the table that Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie are sitting at.

"Hey Alice, where's Jasper?" I ask. Rosalie just sat there and glared at me. She still hadn't talked to me since the whole club incident. I just hoped that one day they all would be able to forgive me for my overreaction, but today was apparently not that day.

Alice glanced over at Rosalie. "Oh, um, something came up and he had to leave suddenly," she said.

Rosalie looked down at the table with an almost sad looking face. "What happened?"

Rosalie was the one who answered me, "For you information he had to go find Bella. We don't know what happened to her. One minute he was on the phone with her and then the line went dead. He left right after that to go look for her at the last place we knew where she was."

"Holy shit! God, I hope Jasper finds her. Do you think she's hurt?" I ask.

"We're not sure. But what the hell does it matter to you Masen?" Rosalie spat at me.

"I… I don't know, but I do know that I don't want anything to happen to her. I… I feel very protective of her." I stuttered back.

"Oh, you mean like how you were protective of her at the club, you son-of-a-bitch!? When you are the one that forced her away? You do know you are the reason she left, don't you?! If it wasn't for your whore of a girlfriend and your stupid ass she would have been safe here, with us!" Rosalie basically screamed at me. Then she stormed out of the cafeteria with Emmett following close behind her.

Alice looked up at me almost sheepishly and patted the seat next to her, since I was still standing at the table. "Edward, Rosalie is just very worried about Bella. It's not… normal… for them to be apart so long, and to lose contact like that. Something is wrong, and I can't… see… clearly what is going to happen. There are so many deciding factors that I just can't see. I'm so frustrated. My stupid visions come and go all the time, but what good are they when I can't see something so important!"

Alice was crying silently now. I put my arms around her and gave her my shoulder to cry on. Here I am worrying about what people are thinking about me for fucking Tonya and Bella is lost somewhere and with none of her close family nearby. I really fucking hope that Jasper finds Bella and that she's safe.

* * *

**EN: Hopefully everyone you love the Rosalie rant. I just love her...she's such a bitch, but what girl isn't underneath it all!! :) Til next time!!**


	15. Ch 15: Tears

**A/N: Here is the chapter so many people have been asking for. Bella's Baaack!! :) Hopefully you all like it. If so, why don't you hit that little green button at the end and let me know?! My wonderfully awesome Beta - Jadiona is definitely the best. She makes sure this shit is readable! lol Why don't you go on over and read some of her stories? Her story 'Alice' is great. It is Alice's version of Twilight...definitely more insight into the little pixie we all love!! Go on...read it. :)**

**The lyrics in this song belong to NIN – Something I Can Never Have. But I love the Flyleaf version of this song. It makes me think of how Bella would sound in this song.**

**DISCLAIMER: I love Twilight, but I do not own it. Stephanie Meyer probably loves it too, but she does own it. :)  
**

**Chapter 15 – Tears**

**BPOV – **_**Saturday in Forks**_

Finally I am home. Jasper is driving home in his own car, while I'm bringing Carlisle's Mercedes back home safe and sound. Poor Jasper had a hard time on the plane from Italy. I felt so bad that he had to endure being in a tin can with 100 potential food sources by himself on his way to get me. I would have to make it up to him eventually. I tried to keep him occupied on the way back to take his mind off of the tortuous confines of the plane. We talked about his relationship with Alice and how well it is progressing. We talked about Rosalie and Emmett's relationship. I tried to make sure we stayed away from the topic of Edward. I could tell that something was bothering Jasper because of the emotional waves he kept letting slip out. I couldn't quite put my finger on the emotion though. It was a cross between guilt and anxiousness. From what I could tell it had nothing to do with Alice, Emmett or Rosalie. It only happened when we were sitting silently. I tried asking about it, but he wouldn't give up the details. I'm pretty sure that I didn't want to know.

I saw Emmett's jeep in driveway as we both pulled into the garage at the same time. I was kind of surprised to see it. When we walked out of the garage laughing and joking Rosalie, Alice and Emmett all walked out of the house. Emmett had his arm around Rosalie's shoulder. They were all smiling at me. I was kind of disappointed that Edward wasn't here and I felt a pang in my chest where my beating heart should have been. Jasper put his hand on my back and rubbed it and looked down at me with a sad face. He must have felt my pain.

Alice ran over as fast as she could and hugged me and Jasper at the same time bouncing up and down.

"BELLAAAA!!! I'm so glad you are okay!!! I know Jasper called and said that you were fine, but we were so worried!!! Don't you ever do that again! You can't just run away!!" She rambled on at a hundred miles per second.

I picked the little pixie up and spun her around laughing. I didn't realize how excited I would be to see them and my family again. Emmett ran over and put me in a huge bear hug. "Yeah, little sis! You can't just run off and leave us here. We missed you lots!"

Rosalie walked over in her sophisticated way and put her hands on both sides of my face and just looked at me. "Are you okay?" she whispered to me.

I just looked at her and nodded. Only she would realize how scared I truly was when I was captured. I was just glad that I made it out in one piece. She pulled me into a huge hug as well and kissed me on my cheek. "If you ever leave like that again I will pull off one of your legs and burn it to make sure you can't leave again." She said so low that no one else could hear it except for Jasper and he laughed. She looked at me then and smiled. I really hoped that she was kidding, but for some reason I didn't think she was.

We walked into the house and sat in the living room. I told them about my explorations of Spain, Ireland and a few details of Italy, while skipping around the Volturi problem. Alice was very disappointed that I hadn't been able to get my gifts from my hotel room that I had bought everyone, but I called the hotel to have them ship the items to me. That seemed to satisfy her. No one talked about Edward the whole time I had been back and I was kind of shocked. I mean yeah, he wasn't here, he told me to never talk to him or his girlfriend ever again, but that didn't mean I would just fall apart if they talked about him, so I asked them.

"So, um, how is everything with Edward and Tonya?"

Emmett started bursting out laughing and Rosalie smacked him lightly on the back of the head. "Ow, Rosie! That hurt!"

"What were you laughing about Emmett?" I asked. Something was going on and now I was starting to get pissed that no one was telling me anything.

"I can't say. I don't want to get hit by the sledgehammer again," he said while shaking his head over to Rosalie. I couldn't help but laugh at that. What a wonderful nickname for Rosalie… Sledgehammer!!

Alice looked up at me with a sad expression on her face, almost like Jasper had on the plane. "Well, Bella, um… I don't think that Edward and Tonya are a couple anymore."

I couldn't breathe. What the hell had she just said?! Edward and Tonya aren't a couple? What the hell had happened while I was gone!?

"What do you mean they aren't a couple anymore? What happened?" I asked almost impatiently. I was excited, but also wondering what had happened.

"I'm not sure you really want to know Bella. It might be a touchy subject. I don't want you to get mad or upset. I've seen you react two different ways and I can't tell which way to tell you so that you take it okay." Alice told me.

"Alice, seriously, just tell me. I'll be fine."

"Well," she cleared her throat, "Edward and Tonya aren't talking anymore. You see, um, Edward and Tonya, well, they ended up having sex. Tonya hasn't talked to Edward since that night. It has been a difficult week to say the least and we didn't want to worry you with it while you were away. But then you ended up going missing on Thursday. Jasper didn't want to tell you because he was sure that you would have been super upset about it. We really didn't want to keep it from you, but we just felt it was best. Please don't be mad at us?" Once Alice finally got started telling me what had happened she didn't quit talking.

I was shaking so bad that I could hardly stand it anymore. I stood up and walked quickly out the back door. Once I got outside I took of for a run. I needed to think.

Edward had sex with Tonya. From what Alice had told me before, Edward was a virgin. He must have felt something for Tonya in order to give up his virginity to her, but she quits talking to him as soon as it's done. He was just another dick to conquer to her. That bitch!!!

I knew that after our little conversation in the bathroom at the club. At the club… when Edward told me he never wanted to talk to me again. What am I supposed to do now? Do I go and find Tonya and kick her ass? Do I go to Edward and try to talk to him? Do I just leave him alone? Let him suffer the consequences? For what? For sticking up for his girlfriend when he thought that I had accosted her in the bathroom?

I couldn't fault him for that. He didn't know what I was capable of. He had never seen me hunt. He didn't know the real me. How could he? I couldn't tell him. If I had told him he would have never wanted me in the first place. I just couldn't get the taste of him out of my mouth. I couldn't get the feel of his lips and hips pressed against me outside of the club out of my mind. I couldn't get the harsh words he said to me out of my head, 'If you ever come around us again I will not be held responsible for my reactions.' He didn't want me to begin with. Why should it matter to me what he is going through? I knew the answer to that. I had feelings for him. Not just because his blood sings to me, but because he is a good person. Because he is caring and funny. But he is something I can never have.

I didn't even realize where I was running until I ended up outside of his house. I really needed to pay attention to where I was going when I ran. I could see the light on in his bedroom. I so wanted to go up there, but I knew that I couldn't… shouldn't. I knew that he didn't want to see me. Why would he? He's just getting over a heart break. Why would he want to see me? He didn't want me then, he wouldn't want me now. I should have known that nothing good could come to me. I may be an immortal… but my heart or what is left of it in my chest is not. It can still hurt, it can still break.

I sat down on the bench that Alice and I sat on only two weeks ago and silently and tearlessly sobbed for the love I could never have.

While I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself I felt the music coming to me. I was only able to write songs when I was really happy or really sad. I know that I haven't ever been this low in my existence. I couldn't handle it. I started singing softly.

I still recall the taste of your tears  
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ear  
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore  
Scraping through my head 'til I don't want to sleep anymore

You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how  
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now  
This thing is slowly taking me apart  
Grey would be the color if I had a heart

Come on tell me  
You'll make this all go away  
You'll make this all go away  
I'm down to just one thing  
And I'm starting to scare myself  
You'll make this all go away  
You'll make this all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something I can never have

In this place it seems like such a shame  
Though it all looks different now  
I know it's still the same  
And everywhere I look you're all I see  
Just a fading reminder of who I use to be

Come on tell me  
You'll make this all go away  
You'll make this all go away  
I'm down to just one thing  
And I'm starting to scare myself  
You'll make this all go away  
You'll make this all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something I can never have  
I just want something I can never have

**EPOV**

I was sitting in my room with the door cracked when I heard it. It sounded almost like an angel singing, but the angel sounded like it was in such agony. I stepped over to the door quietly and looked around the yard. I saw a girl sitting on one of our benches in the back garden. She had long mahogany hair. It was dusk outside, but I could still tell who it was. It was Bella. My heart jumped into my throat.

What was she doing here? I knew from Alice that Jasper had found her, but she hadn't told me what had happened. She said that was Bella's choice to make if she wanted to tell me. I wanted to run out and see if she was okay, but she just sounded so sad I couldn't bring myself to disturb her. I heard her singing this one part over and over again.

"I just want something I can never have".

What was she talking about? Then I heard her sing, actually almost moaning 'This thing is slowly taking me apart, Grey would be the color if I had a heart.' It sounded like she was pouring herself into this song. Why was she singing it in my garden though? Why was she here alone? Once she finished singing she just sat there and stared off into the woods. Then I saw her shoulders shaking slightly, almost like she was crying. Then she slowly got up and walked back into the woods. I ached for her in that moment. I would find out what was going on with this girl, why she was so troublous.

* * *

**EN: Well, there you have it...Bella's back. Let the drama ensue!! :) Please review...it makes Edward's day so much better!! Til next time!**

* * *


	16. Ch 16: Just Friends

**AN: Hey everyone!! Hope you all had a nice Monday!! I sure didn't. lol Here is chapter 16. **

**I want to say thank you to everyone that is reviewing! I love you all sooo much! :) I also want to thank my beta, Jadiona, she rocks my world!!!**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I do not. (runs away crying)**

* * *

Chapter 16 – Just Friends

**BPOV**

I ran all the way back home in less than 10 minutes. Rosalie was outside waiting on me. I really hope she wasn't going to go through with what she had just said to me earlier that day. I wanted to keep both of my legs.

I walked up to her slowly and sat next to her on one of the lounge chairs on our patio. It was twilight and the stars were starting to come out through the clouds. I never tired of looking at the stars and watching them glitter against the black background. It reminded me of diamonds against a dark purple velvet backdrop.

Rosalie brought me out of my wonderings by speaking first. "Are you okay?"

I just kept staring off at the stars. "Rosie, I honestly don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, or if I'm even supposed to do anything. I just feel like my whole existence is dependent on him and he won't even give me the time of day. Now he is probably heart broken because of that crazy bitch. She didn't even know what she had right at her fingertips. Rose, they've known each other for such a long time and she can just toss him away after they have sex. How can she do it? I just don't get it. How am I supposed to be okay knowing that she hurt him?"

Rose just sat there and watched me ramble out my thoughts. "Isabella, you can't do anything about what she's done. She has made her own decisions regarding Edward. If she is just out there to fuck as many people as she can before she's 21, then there is nothing anyone can do to stop her. I get why you're upset about it, I do. The only thing you can do is be a friend to Edward right now if he wants you to be. I know you want to run to him and confess yourself. It's just how you work. You give your all to everything that you do. But if you do that to Edward, then you may just end up pushing him farther away. Just be there for him if he needs you, that's the only advice I can give you."

I told her about me running through the woods and ending up at his house. She gasped, but before she could start on her tirade I told her that I didn't do anything. I just sat outside. I didn't tell her about my crying jag, or my song. That was my song. Most of the songs that I sing are just for me and me alone. They are my outlet, but nothing is taking this pain away. I hurt for Edward, not because of him. I don't want him to feel a moments pain, whether it be physical or emotional. I have only known Edward for such a short time, but I feel like I've known him forever. I feel like there is something between us even if he can't see it.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

After my chat with Rose I made my way to find Carlisle. I hadn't seen him since I'd been home. He was sitting at the dining room table looking over some paperwork from the hospital. He heard me approach and glanced up at me with a huge grin on his face. I ran over to him and fell to my knees before him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Dad, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I didn't think anything would happen. I was so stupid and selfish. Please don't be mad at me." I sobbed against his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around me as well and kissed my hair. "My Bella, I can't forgive you, because there is nothing to forgive you for. You had to leave. I understand that. You have always wanted to see Italy, you were so close that it would have been a shame to not go see it. It is definitely a beautiful country. I'm just sorry that you had to deal with the Volturi guard. Jasper told me a little bit about what had happened. I am just glad that you made it out of there with no harm done to you. That is all that I was worried about. Oh how I missed you Bella. I know it was only a short time, but it just wasn't the same without you here."

I laid my head on his knees, while he stroked my hair. I asked him if he had heard about Edward.

"Oh, yes. It's very hard to keep a secret in this town. I have heard about what happened. Rosalie was very upset when she found out about it, just because she knew how much it would hurt you."

I then told Carlisle about Rose's and my conversation outside.

"Bella, Rose is right. There is nothing you can really do for the boy except to be there for him if he needs you. If you are feeling this pull to this young man and I don't mean the longing of his blood. Then there can be nothing that can keep you from him. You just have to be patient. He is so very young. He will get over this infatuation he had with this Tonya girl, and see how your feelings are towards him. I know you are also worried about him being human. But, Bella, nothing can come between true love. It is rare for our kind to fall in love with a human, just because humans are supposed to be our food source, but look at Rose and Emmett, or Jasper and Alice. Look at me and Esme. I have never felt this much love for another human, and I am around them almost all day long. It is possible my Bella. You just have to give it some time." He grabbed my head off of his lap and looked me in the eyes and reemphasized that it was possible. He kissed me on my cheek and walked out of the room.

Carlisle was such a knowledgeable being that I had to believe everything he had said to me. It could be possible for Edward and me. I'd just have to be patient.

**EPOV**

It is Sunday. Alice and Emmett are in a frenzy. Apparently Bella made it back from wherever she had been. No one filled me in as to what had happened when she was away. I was just happy that she had made it back safely. I felt like I needed to talk to her, but I was afraid that she hated me. I had been such an ass to her before she left. Before she left because of me.

I still hadn't talked to Tonya. I figured that was a lost cause. I didn't even really care anymore, sure it still hurt, but I just have to chalk it up to a life lesson learned. Once a ho, always a ho. I couldn't change her.

I wanted to go to the Cullen's place, but I didn't know what kind of reception I would get from them. I knew that Rosalie still hated me. I would just have to wait. I wanted to see her though to absolutely make sure that she was here… that she was safe. I wanted to apologize for being such an ass. I wanted to ask her about her sitting outside of my house by herself and about the song I heard her singing. I would just have to wait.

_**Monday at school**_

All morning has been torture. When we pulled into the parking lot of Forks High I saw the Cullen's car. I was excited, because that meant I might see Bella today. I was hoping to bump into her between classes, but that never happened. Each class was like pure agony. I wanted to be near her. To see her beautiful golden eyes again. I was starting to get desperate to see her. It was lunchtime and I literally ran all the way there. I couldn't wait anymore. If she wasn't here today then I was going to have to go on a rampage over to the Cullen house.

I was just about the first person in the cafeteria. I knew that she wasn't there yet. I went and sat at our new table. I was sitting there with my leg bouncing up and down just staring at the doors. They opened and Alice and Jasper walked in together with Alice's arm wrapped around Jasper's. It looked like he was escorting her into a ballroom. He just kept glancing down at her and she was staring up at him. I envied them in that moment. You could tell that they had fallen in love. The way they looked into each other's eyes, like they were holding a conversation without words.

They walked over to me and sat down while I kept on watching the doors. People were filing in more frequently now. Thankfully Tonya still hadn't come in. Rosalie and Emmett had just walked in together holding each other's hands. They weren't as far gone as Alice and Jasper, but you could tell that there was something there. I was about to ask Rosalie or Jasper if Bella had made it to school today, when she walked in.

When she walked through the doors it was like the whole world just faded away. I had noticed that, that had happened before whenever she was around. It was almost like she was walking in slow motion. She was glancing around the room when her eyes landed on our table. I realized I was holding my breath and I let it out in a whoosh. She was staring at me, not glancing around. I couldn't pull my eyes away from her. She was even more beautiful than I remembered, but now she looked so sad. Her brow was furrowed. I wanted to run over to her and pull her into a hug. I wanted to smooth her brow.

I still hadn't looked away from her when she walked up to our table. The only available seat was next to me. I pulled myself out of my reverie, stood up and pulled out her chair. She had a quick look of shock cross her face and then nodded at me. I waited until she sat, before I did. I still hadn't looked away from her. She was staring at the table with her eyebrows pulled together with a look of contemplation on her face.

Alice broke the silence, "So Bella, how is your first day back at school?"

She looked up at Alice and just smiled. "Oh you know, same old same old. People asking where I have been, and why I have come back. Just another day."

I knew she was trying to make a joke out of it, but it sounded flat to me, like she really didn't want to be here. Or maybe she didn't want me to be here. I had to find out, the suspense was killing me. "Um, Bella, can I speak to you outside please?" I offered her my hand. She looked up at me through her eyelashes and my breath caught in my chest again. This girl was going to be the death of me. She reached out and grabbed my hand.

Rosalie scoffed, "Bella, do you think that is such a good idea?"

Bella glared over at her. "Rose, I am just going outside for a minute. If I need anything I'll just yell. I'll be fine." She said to her sister.

I walked Bella out the doors leading away from the lunchroom. We went to sit at the park benches located in the common area of the school. She sat on the top of one of the tables, while I just stood there staring at her.

"Edward, if you don't quit staring at me, I may just get a complex. I can only handle so much staring."

I blinked and looked down at my shoes. I hadn't realized that she had known that I had been staring at her since she'd walked into the cafeteria. "Sorry." I mumbled.

"What do you want Edward? If you have nothing to say, I'm just going to go back inside."

I didn't know where to start. Should I say 'Welcome back Bella' or 'Sorry I made you feel like you had to leave your family' or how about 'I can't stop thinking about you'. Yeah, that would work out well.

She sighed and started to get off of the table. I grabbed her shoulder to keep her from leaving. I looked into her eyes and began, "Bella, I'm so sorry about everything. I was an ass and I know it. I'm glad you came back. I never wanted you to leave. I was just mad. I realize now that I had no right to be mad. I just thought… I don't know what I thought. Hell, I don't even know what I think right now. I'm so damn confused. I… I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. Can we go back to being friends? I don't want things to be awkward."

She just looked at me. She didn't blink, she didn't move a muscle. She just stared at me, then she shook her head and looked down at the ground. "Edward, I don't know what to say. You say you want to go back to being friends, but were we ever? Yeah, we talked at lunch and choir, but it wasn't like we hung out or anything really. The one time we hung together outside of school was…" she cringed and trailed off. "I just don't know Edward. I want to be your friend. I want to hang out, but…"

**BPOV**

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to be his friend. I really did, but I wanted more. I didn't know if I could handle just being friends.

Edward was still staring at me. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to grab him and pull him into a hug. I wanted to kiss him senseless. I wanted to love him, but I didn't know if it was possible. I didn't know if he would love me in return. I would probably just end up hurting more in the end.

"Bella, I truly am sorry about how I reacted at the club. Remember what I said?" I cringed at that, I remembered every word he had ever said. I remembered the last thing he had said to me. 'Don't ever talk to me or my girlfriend again.' He must have seen me cringe and he pulled me into a hug. I felt like I was in heaven… a nice warm feeling that was seeping into my body and mending my broken heart. "I told you then that I wanted to be your friend… before all of the other stuff happened."

"Edward, I don't know if that can happen." I didn't know if I could just be his friend. I wanted more. I wanted to hold him and kiss him. I wanted to protect him from any harm.

He looked down at me with a pained expression on his face. "Bella, please. I know I was an ass. I will do whatever I can to make it up to you. I want to get to know you better."

Just then, the bell rang for lunch to be over. Jasper and Rosalie were the first ones out the door. Jasper just looked at me with a sad look on his face. He must have known how much I was hurting. He walked over to me and pulled me into his side and whispered, "Is everything okay?" I just nodded.

Rose walked up to my other side and pulled me into a hug. It was like they knew what had happened out here. Edward just kept standing there. Jasper looked over at him and nodded. I pulled out of Jasper's and Rose's embrace. I started walking to my next class, Biology, with Edward.

* * *

**EN: So, what do you think? Could you easily jump back into acting like nothing was wrong? Let me know!! Please review! **


	17. Ch 17: Can't Say No

**Howdy sweeties!! I hope everyone had a good day. I know I didn't. Stupid work. Bah! Anywho...here is Chapter 17!! Wow, I can't believe it! They have just flown by. Aren't you happy that I don't keep you waiting for too long between chapters? You can thank my Beta Jadiona for that. She is great! Always getting the chapters back in less than a day!!! Great job Jade!! Thanks!! **

**There are some lyrics in this song that belong to Evanescence. I really think you should check it out, if you haven't heard it before. The title is "Good Enough." I'll put a link to the song on my profile if you want to check it out. **

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I do not. I own a cute little malti-poo. heehee**

* * *

Chapter 17 – Can't Say No

**BPOV**

I walked to Biology with Edward trailing behind me. Once I got into the classroom, the teacher pulled me aside. Edward walked over to the table where Emmett was sitting. I hadn't even thought about the seating arrangement in this class. Tonya and Edward had been lab partners.

"Ms. Cullen, I wanted to say that I'm pleased to see you back." The teacher said.

"Oh, well, it's good to be back." I said back to him.

"Ms. Cullen, I wanted to speak to you about the seating arrangements. Apparently something happened between Edward and Tonya, so I had to move lab partners. Edward is now partnered up with Emmett. I was wondering if you would mind sitting next to Tonya."

Oh my God. Why does God feel like he has to punish me? I so did not want to sit next to Tonya, but if it kept her away from Edward, then I would. "Sure, that is fine with me."

I walked over to the table. I was just glad that Tonya hadn't come into class yet. I needed to mentally prepare myself before I was able to deal with her. Emmett patted me on the back and gave me an apologetic smile. I just shrugged. Then Tonya walked in, giggling with some of her friends. She saw me sitting at her table and just glared at me, then walked over.

"Hey Bella," she tried to snarl at me, but coming from her it sounded more like a whine.

"Hey T-Bag." I growled at her. "Look I know you don't like me, and I don't like you. We don't have to talk unless there is a lab due. Got it?"

She just looked at me like I had three heads, and then sneered at me. "Fine, bitch. You just stay on your side of the table and I'll stay on mine."

The rest of class went smoothly. Thank God we didn't have a lab due, we just watched a movie on cell biology.

After the bell rang, I pretty much ran out of the room. I couldn't be around her anymore. I didn't know how I was going the handle being her lab partner for the rest of the school year.

As I was walking on to choir class, Edward caught up to me and grabbed me by the arm.

"I am so sorry that you have to put up with her being your lab partner. I just couldn't take it sitting next to her and asked the teacher if I could move. I never thought about you having to be her partner when you came back. I'm so sorry."

"Edward, don't worry about it. I can handle her. I think I made myself pretty clear to her, that I didn't want to be there. I don't think it will be a problem. At least you don't have to sit next to her, that's all that matters." I told him.

We walked in and I went over to Alice, "Alice, if you still want to sing in my place, that's fine with me. I don't mind." She grabbed me in a big hug.

"Oh Bella, no! They are your songs. If I sang them I would just torture the poor souls listening in." she laughed.

We all went over to the choir director. He seemed to be ecstatic that I was back. "Oh Bella! I'm so glad you came back–not that Alice couldn't sing your songs–but they are your songs. It would only be appropriate for YOU to sing them."

I just smiled at him, "Well, I was wondering if I could have Alice and Rose as my back up singers on one of my songs. I know we normally use the other students in the choir for that, but I would just feel more comfortable with them singing with me."

"Sure, if that's what would make you more comfortable, then I don't really see anything wrong with that."

Alice squealed and jumped up and down. I just laughed at her. Rose was just acting like her normal self, all nonchalant. They went ahead and left to go to their respective classes.

Edward was sitting at the keyboard so I walked over to him. He was playing a beautiful melody on the keyboard. I sat there and listened to him playing it over and started humming along with him. He stopped. I was afraid that I had pissed him off again, but he was staring at me with a look of happiness on his face.

"Bella, I have been working on this piece for the performance, but I can't find the words to go along with it. Can you help me?" he asked.

I nodded and asked him to start over from the beginning.

It took a minute to start singing what came to me with his own personal melody. He looked up at me with a surprised look on his face, when I started.

Under your spell again  
I can't say no to you  
crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand  
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly  
now I can't let go of this dream  
I can't breathe but I feel

Good enough  
I feel good enough for you

Drink up sweet decadence  
I can't say no to you  
and I've completely lost myself and I don't mind  
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely  
now I can't let go of this dream  
can't believe that I feel

Good enough  
I feel good enough  
its been such a long time coming, but I feel good

and I'm still waiting for the rain to fall  
pour real life down on me  
cause I can't hold on to anything this good  
enough  
am I good enough  
for you to love me too?

so take care what you ask of me  
cause I can't say no

Once we finished, everyone was clapping. I hadn't noticed that everyone had stopped what they were doing. The teacher walked over and clapped Edward on the back.

"Classic piece, son. I want this piece to play at the end of the concert. I want people walking away feeling like they have just come out of a true concert, and not just a choir performance. I know that sometimes it gets tedious, but I believe that this song is perfect. Bella, Edward has been playing this piece for almost a week and was having problems coming up with words to go along with it. I think you found the perfect lyrics to go along with it. You two are quite the pair. Wow!" he said.

I just looked at the ground. I was afraid that Edward would be freaked out about it. I feel like I had just taken his song from him.

"Bella, that was beautiful," he said to me.

"Thanks, I'm sorry that I pushed my way into it." I said to him.

"NO! It was perfect. The teacher was right. You put the perfect lyrics with it. I think it's great. You have such a beautiful voice. I forgot how awesome it was. I… I missed it," he said softly.

I looked up at him shocked. "Oh, well, thanks. I… I missed singing."

"Bella, do you want to go grab something to eat after school? I… I have something I want to talk to you about." He asked me.

"Um… sure. That should be fine. I'll just let Rose and Jasper know so they don't freak out."

"Good! I'll drive, so Emmett and Alice will have to ride with them. Is that okay, do you think?"

"Yeah, I don't see why it should be a problem. I'll make sure it's okay with them first. I'll meet you at your car?"

"Yeah, that'll be good. I'll meet you there." He said with his crooked grin.

Once the class ended I ran over to gym. My last class of the day. Rose would be there and so would Emmett. I was excited. I almost did the Alice happy dance! I had no idea what Edward wanted to talk to me about though. It seemed like there was so much to say about what had happened. I hoped it wouldn't be all about that stuff though. Maybe this will be the starting of our friendship. I so wanted to be his friend and more, but it could only start with friendship first.

Rose saw me grinning from ear to ear. I really hoped she didn't give me a hard time about it. "What's happened to you? I haven't seen you smile this big since… well I can't even remember a time." She snickered at me.

I guess it was contagious. "Oh Rose!" I sighed to her. "Edward asked me out to dinner. Can Emmett and Alice ride home with you and Jasper? Please, please, please??" I begged.

"Yeah, honey. That should be fine. What happened? Why the change of heart?" she asked.

"Well, I can't really get into it now. But I'll be sure to tell you all about it tonight. Okay?"

"Sure, that's fine. We are supposed to be playing basketball today. Ugh! I hate the physical games we have to play in here. Gym should be outlawed."

I laughed out loud at her. She was just afraid she was going to mess up her hair.

Coach put people on separate teams. I was on a team with Rose and Emmett and about half a dozen other kids that I didn't really know. Tonya and Jessica were on the opposing team. I really hoped that she didn't try to start shit with me again, but of course I couldn't be that lucky. She was like a vicious little ankle biting puppy dog, while I'm a Doberman pincher. She stood no chance, but I had promised Carlisle I wouldn't start anything with her.

I tried to stay out of the game as much as possible, but Emmett kept passing me the ball. I saw Tonya and Jessica ganging up on me. I was at the free point line, so I jumped and shot the ball. I heard it swish through the net, then the next thing I knew Tonya had ran into my legs while I was still in the air. I didn't use my shield, cause I didn't want anyone to know so I fell over and landed hard on the gymnasium floor. She just stood over me and snarled. I looked up and saw Rose running over. Before I could do anything Rose had pushed Tonya out of the way.

"You little bitch. What the FUCK is your problem!!!!??" Rosalie yelled at Tonya.

Tonya just looked at Rose all smug like, "Nothing, just a little fun and games playing basketball."

The coach let me and Rose sit out the rest of the game. I was glad, because I was afraid that Rose would have literally killed Tonya.

"Who does that stupid little skank bitch think she is? She is just asking for a fucking ass whooping!!" Rose was still seething.

"Don't let her get to you Rosie. Come on. You know she didn't hurt me. I just decided to not use my shield, to remain inconspicuous. It would have looked weird if I had bounced off the ground without actually touching it." I giggled at her.

"I know, Bella, but she's is just asking for trouble. Most humans realize that we are dangerous. She must have a death sentence, and if she keeps it up I will be the one handing it over to her. I may just have to have a little 'come to Jesus' meeting with her. If she knows what's good for her, then she'll leave us alone after that. If not, then it's her own funeral." Rose was talking so fast and low that none of the humans could hear what we were talking about.

"Rosie, it's fine. Just leave it be. She'll tire out of 'bullying' me, then she'll find someone else to go after. I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of getting to me, and neither should you," I explained to her. Although, if she fucked with Edward again, all bets were off.

Finally the bell rang for the end of the class and the school day. I was so excited, but I had to keep up appearances, so I didn't run at full speed to the locker room, but I ran a little bit faster than normal. I changed quickly out of my gym shorts and t-shirt, into my regular clothes. Rose was right behind me.

We walked out of the gym and into the parking lot of the school. Edward was leaned up against his Volvo talking to Alice. He looked up and grinned at me. I tried to act like Rose and just walk over to the car acting like I didn't care if I went with him or not.

"Hey." I said to him

"Are you ready to go? I told Alice about our plans." He said.

"Yeah, I told Rose and Emmett, they seemed cool about it. I guess the only one out of the loop would be Jasper."

Alice jumped up and down, "Oh, he won't mind." She said laughing.

I loved that little girl. She was always so damn happy! I had a feeling that she was starting to rub off on me.

"Well, are you ready?" Edward asked me again.

"Yeah, come on. Let them fend for themselves." I said laughing.

We got into the car. I couldn't believe it. It smelled just like him. I took in a deep breath and smiled slightly.

"What?" he asked me.

"Oh the car smells like you. Nice."

"Oh, well, um thanks," he said.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"We are going to the great and awesome Forks Diner, if that's okay with you." He said.

I just laughed. "That's fine with me. I don't care where we go."

We arrived within five minutes and went to sit at a booth in the back corner for as much privacy as we could get in this small town.

I ordered water and nothing else. Obviously I couldn't eat this food. Edward ordered a huge bacon cheeseburger with fries and a milkshake. I chuckled at him. "Are you feeding a small third world country, or are you hungry?" I asked him.

He blushed. I could see the blood rushing into his cheeks. It should have made me ravenous, but it was just too damn cute on him. "No, I'm just really hungry. We didn't eat anything at lunch. Don't you want something more than just water?"

"No, I'm good. I'll just grab a snack at home or something later if I get hungry. I ate a ton this weekend." I told him, hoping to pacify him.

"So," he started, "um…I don't know where to begin. I have so much I want to talk to you about and ask you about, I just don't know where to start."

"Edward, if you really want to be my friend, I want you to know one thing. I want us to be as honest with each other as we possibly can be. If you have something on your mind then I want to hear it. I don't want you to worry about hurting my feelings. I'm a big girl and I can handle it. Now that, that's out of the way, go ahead. Apparently you have a lot on your mind. Or you wouldn't have asked me out to dinner."

I wanted to be as honest with him as I could be. Obviously I couldn't tell him about my true identity, but I would try to tell him as much as possible.

"Okay, well we can start off slow. How about that?" He asked.

"Sure."

"Okay, well how was your trip before you went missing? No one would tell me anything about where you went or what you were doing. I also want to know about what happened when you went missing, if you can tell me that."

So, I told him about my trips to Ireland, Spain and the Canary Islands. He had this look of shock on his face.

"What? Why do you look shocked?"

"Well, honestly I thought you had stayed in the US. I had no idea you went that far away. Wow, and Dr. Cullen didn't mind you going that far away by yourself?"

"No, he didn't mind. He knows that I know how to take care of myself. He trusts me."

"Okay, well then what happened?"

So I proceeded to tell him about Italy. I didn't really know how to tell him about when I disappeared. That was going to be a tough one. Then I got a text message. It was from Alice.

Bella, tell him as close 2 the truth as possible.  
Tell him you were kdnpd but u got away on ur own.  
Alice

Okay… well I guess that answered my question. So I told him that story, but I left out the use of my powers and the blood sucking vampires.

"I was kidnapped by some random guy in a vineyard close to Tuscany. But when I ended up getting away on my own. I had to break into a house and steal a cell phone and called Rose. Jasper was already on his way to Italy, and then I met him at the airport. So, it was no big deal."

"NO BIG DEAL!?! You were KIDNAPPED!! How is that no big deal?" Edward almost screamed at me. I grabbed his hand that was laying on top of the table.

"Edward, I'm fine. No harm was done. Just some idiot thought I would be easy to take. He found out that it's not that easy. Don't worry about it. I'm home and I'm safe. Please don't get mad."

He still looked pissed, but it turned into a pained expression. "Bella, if I hadn't done what I did, then you never would have left. If you never would have left you would have been safe here the whole time. It was my fault you left. It's my fault you were kidnapped. I'm so sorry." He broke down and almost started crying. I couldn't take it anymore. I slipped into his side of the booth and pulled him into a hug.

"Edward, don't. It's NOT your fault! I have been wanting to go on a trip like that for some time, and you were an easy excuse to let me do that. Carlisle told me not to go to Italy, but I did anyway. It was my fault…not yours."

He looked up at me when I pulled back. "Why did Carlisle tell you not to go to Italy?"

"Um… I guess because of the crime rate there. I don't really know, he just told me not to, but I did it anyways." I couldn't tell him that Carlisle told me not to go to Italy because of the Volturi. That would lead to a whole other can of worms.

I got up and moved back to my side of the table.

I cleared my throat. "So, what else did you want to talk about Edward?"

"Ummm… well there is this one thing that has been bothering me. I don't want to upset you though." He said.

"I told you to not worry about upsetting me. I'm fine. Just tell me or ask me what you need to ask. I won't break."

"Okay… well… I have two questions really. On Sunday, I saw you sitting in my mom's garden and you were singing. Why were you there alone and what were you singing?"

* * *

**EN: Well, what did you think? Let me know, by clicking that cute little green button at the bottom. Thanks!! Til next time!**


	18. Ch 18: Something I Can Never Have

**AN: Hey guys! How are you!?! I had a pretty shitty day today, so to make myself feel better I thought I would post another chapter for you guys. Your reviews make me happy. Hopefully I can get more today. *sigh* But my beta Jadiona helps to keep me sane.**

**The song in this chapter is the full lyrics to "Something I Can Never Have' sung by Flyleaf. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight. That would be Stephanie Meyer. **

* * *

Chapter 18 – Make This Go Away

EPOV

I was so excited that Bella had agreed to come to dinner with me. I had never really spent much time alone with her, other than in choir.

Choir, now that was an experience today. I was sitting at the keyboard playing the piece I had planned on performing in our concert, when Bella walked over and stood next to me. I just couldn't come up with the right words to go along with the piece of music I had written. Then Bella starting humming along with notes I was playing. It was like she knew what words she wanted to use with the melody, so I asked her if she would help me with it. I knew she had told me once that she loved writing songs, so hopefully she can put into words what this piece of music is trying to say. She just nodded at me and I started playing it over again.

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't heard it with my own ears. She started singing with that beautiful voice of hers, sort of breathy and moaning like. It was like she knew exactly what I was trying to convey with this song. She seemed to pour her heart and soul into this song. I watched her face while I played. She had her eyes closed and the corners of her mouth were curved up in a small smile. She was asking if she was good enough. I wanted to jump up and scream yes! You are good enough. Please let me be good enough for you! I want to be the man that she deserves. I felt like I was tainted now, though after Tonya. I didn't know if I was good enough for Bella.

The whole classroom erupted into applause after the song was finished. I was surprised to see that everyone had stopped what they were doing. The teacher came over and started talking to us, but I couldn't really pay attention to what he was saying. I was too engrossed in watching Bella. She seemed embarrassed almost. I told her that I missed her voice. I am such a douche. I wanted to tell her that I missed HER, not just her voice. I missed everything about her. The way her hair cascaded over her shoulders, or the way her eyes lit up with laughter at something Emmett or Alice would say. I wanted her to know that I missed everything about her, but how could I tell her without freaking her out?

I asked her if she wanted to grab something to eat after school, and she said yes! I couldn't wait until after school.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I walk Bella to a private corner booth in the Forks Diner. I was starving since I had missed lunch. I was sure that Bella was starving, because she hadn't eaten anything at lunch either, but all she ordered was water.

I asked her about her trip. I had thought she just went to maybe a relative's house or something while she was gone. I never expected her to go out of the country, especially since she was by herself. I was surprised that Dr. Cullen had let her go that far away with out someone with her.

Then I asked her about what had happened when she disappeared. I was so pissed that she had been kidnapped. Who the hell would do that? I wanted to grab her and hold her to make sure that she was really truly safe. I wanted to protect her from all of the bad things in the world. I was such an ass. I was the one that forced her away from her family and friends.

I fucking yelled at her. She was playing this down. She was acting like nothing really happened, but she had been fucking kidnapped in a foreign fucking country. How the hell can she act like nothing was wrong??!!

She grabbed my hand and it felt like electricity had run all the way up my arm straight to my heart. She told me that it wasn't easy to take her down. What the hell did that mean? Did she have a fucking black belt or some shit?

I told her how I felt about why she left. I was so mad at myself, so sad that she felt like she had to leave because of me. I never wanted her to leave. She should never have left because of me. Everything was my fault. She could have been killed while she was away and no one would have known. I couldn't take that thought. I felt like such a pussy, because I almost started crying. I didn't want to even think of life without beautiful Bella in it. I put my face in my hands. I didn't want her to see me like this. Then I could sense her moving and she came around to sit next to me and gave me a hug.

She kept telling me it wasn't my fault, but in reality I knew that it was. If I hadn't yelled at her to leave Tonya and me alone, then she never would have left. Then she told me that Dr. Cullen had told her to not go to Italy. That surprised me. I always thought Italy was a tourist country. So, I asked her why he had told her not to go there. She gave a half-hearted excuse about the crime rate or some shit. I had never heard anything about Italy overrun with crime. I guess I could be wrong though.

She moved back to her side of the table once I calmed down a bit and we sat in silence for a minute just mulling over our own thoughts. Then she asked me what else I had to ask or talk about.

I didn't really want to bring it up, but I felt like I should. It was constantly on my mind. I couldn't get the picture of her sitting in my mom's garden all alone singing. She looked like an angel. So perfect, yet so sad. So I just knew that I had to ask her.

"Okay… well… I have two questions really. On Sunday, I saw you sitting in my mom's garden and you were singing. Why were you there alone and what were you singing?"

She looked so shocked. I was afraid that she would run out of the diner.

"H… how did you know about that? I thought…" she stammered.

"Well I was sitting in my room with the window cracked and I heard something. I looked out and you were out there alone. I expected to maybe see Alice out there with you, but she wasn't. Then I heard you singing. You sounded… almost sad."

"Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was around. I just went for a run and somehow ended up at your house. You said you heard me singing… what… what did you hear?"

"Um… well, I heard you saying something about 'something I can never have'."

"Oh God." She mumbled. She dropped her head. I was afraid that I had really upset her. I never wanted to upset her again.

BPOV

Son of a bitch. He fucking heard me. He heard me pouring my heart and soul into a song that I never intended for anyone to hear. I didn't know what to say. I was fucking speechless. I wanted to get out of here. I wanted to run away again, but I knew that couldn't happen. Rosalie would fucking kill me. Carlisle would be disappointed… again. I didn't know how to explain to him that he wasn't supposed to hear my song. It wasn't for him. It may have been about him, but it wasn't for him. It was for me. How do you explain that? How do you tell a guy that has already once told you that he never wanted to talk to you again, and now he just wants to be friends, that you want him, all of him, not just friendship?

"Edward, um… I never intended for you to hear that. I thought I was alone. I… I don't really want to talk about it, okay?"

"Bella, remember what you said about not hiding anything? About being honest with each other? I just want to know what's going on in your head. You are a very hard person to read. I can normally get a good idea about what people are thinking, but you? You are like a blank page. I can't tell what you are thinking. Please, just tell me." He said.

Why did he have to throw that shit about not hiding anything from each other in my face? I didn't want to tell him. I have to hide so much from him, what's one more thing? Why should he even care?

"Edward, why do you even care?"

"I do care. I care very much. I want to know you, everything about you. If something is hurting you, I feel like I should take that pain away. I don't want you to hurt, and it sounded like you were hurting when you were singing that song. If something is hurting you I want to know. I do care… about you." He said softly at the end.

If it had been any other question he had been asking me, I would have had no problem telling him the answer. I don't think I would even have as much trouble telling him that I was a vampire. I had a hard time talking about my feelings. It was easy in my house, with Jasper. He knew what we were feeling even if we were trying to hide it. I didn't have to tell them what I was feeling. Edward was a different story. I wanted to tell him, but I didn't really know how. I was fucking ecstatic about him saying that he cared about me. But caring about someone and loving someone are two totally different things. Caring about someone is like saying, 'oh you're such a good friend. I care about you.'

I decided to just tell him. I couldn't hide it any longer. "Edward, I care about you too. I just… have a hard time putting my feelings into words. The main way to put my feelings into words is to sing. Singing is my way of putting my feelings out there. That's why I write my own songs. It helps to get rid of the emotions that are all jumbled up inside me." I took a deep breath. "I don't know how to explain what I was feeling when I was singing that song, other than to sing the song itself. I'm not going to sing it here in the diner. If you really want to know, then I'll sing it to you. Just know, that it is basically pouring my soul out at your feet when I sing. Songs are my release."

"Okay, well, I'm finished with my burger, are you ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah."

So we walked up to the cash register and he paid for his meal.

We left the diner and drove back to his house. I knew where I wanted to do this. I wanted to take him to the meadow that I had found between our houses. When we got out of his car, I told him, "Edward, I know this place… do you mind if we go there?"

"Sure."

So I took off into the woods with him following me. I tried to walk slowly, but I was starting to get excited. I wanted him to see this place. It felt like a place that no one had ever seen before. Like it was untouched ground. That is what I liked about it. It felt like you could stay there all day and never see anyone. I hadn't been to it since I'd been back, and I thought it would be perfect to take Edward there. We were walking through the uncut forest when he grabbed my hand. It surprised me, but I held on. I loved the feel of my hand in his. I loved the way his touch soothed me, made me feel alive.

We finally arrived at the edge of the meadow, but I pulled him back before he could walk into it. He looked at me with a confused expression on his face. "Can I cover your eyes? I want this to be special." I asked him.

He just nodded at me and squatted down. I realized what he wanted me to do. He wanted to carry me. I knew I was built like a marble statue, but I didn't weight that much. So I jumped on his back and covered his eyes. He had his hands under my knees and I could feel the warmth coming through my jeans. I was also very aware that my core was pushed up against his lower back. Again, I could feel the warmth coming through. It made me wet. I hadn't ever been touched by a human down there. I could only imagine what it would feel like to have his hot penis pumping into my cold pussy. I shuddered. "Are you cold?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine. Just take about 5 steps forward, but be careful of the undergrowth."

He walked slowly forward so as to not fall with me on his back.

"Stop." I told him and then jumped down while my hands were still covering his eyes. I walked around to the front of him adjusting my hands to keep his eyes covered. I saw him smirk. I started to lean forward. I so wanted to kiss his soft warm lips, but I stopped myself. I knew that if I kissed him, I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself and that wasn't the reason why we were here.

"Okay, open your eyes." I said while I pulled my hands away. He just looked down into my eyes and whispered, "beautiful." He hadn't even seen the meadow yet. I knew that much for sure. I spun around so I wasn't facing him. It hurt too much. I was sure he couldn't be calling me beautiful. I couldn't let myself think that, because what would it do to me, if he didn't want me like I wanted him. I would be crushed. I felt so vulnerable around him. Even with my speed, strength, and abilities, I knew that he could crush my heart in an instant.

I heard his breath halt in his chest. The meadow was so beautiful, with purple flowers almost like a blanket laid over the green grass. The woods were in a circular pattern around us. The sun was still behind the clouds, but even the gloomy day could not dampen the beauty here. I turned around and he was just staring at the meadow.

"Do you like it?" I asked.

"Yes, I like it very much."

We walked to the middle of the meadow and sat down next to each other.

We sat there in silence for a while, before Edward spoke. "So, did you…"

I sighed, "Yeah, I guess I will." I really didn't want to, but I knew that I had to. That was the whole reason we came out here. I wanted to tell him how I felt; I was just scared of the repercussions of it. I started singing with Edward watching me.

I still recall the taste of your tears  
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ear  
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore  
Scraping through my head 'til I don't want to sleep anymore

You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how  
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now  
This thing is slowly taking me apart  
Grey would be the color if I had a heart

Come on tell me  
You'll make this all go away  
You'll make this all go away  
I'm down to just one thing  
And I'm starting to scare myself  
You'll make this all go away  
You'll make this all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something I can never have

In this place it seems like such a shame  
Though it all looks different now  
I know it's still the same  
And everywhere I look you're all I see  
Just a fading reminder of who I use to be

Come on tell me  
You'll make this all go away  
You'll make this all go away  
I'm down to just one thing  
And I'm starting to scare myself  
You'll make this all go away  
You'll make this all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something I can never have  
I just want something I can never have

Edward couldn't know the extent of how much I told the truth in this song. I held nothing back. I want to be with Edward, but that may never happen.

When I say, 'back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now,' I used to not be able to run like I do now.

When I say, 'grey would be the color if I had a heart', well, I have a heart, but it doesn't work, so it must be grey.

'Everywhere I look you're all I see, just a fading reminder of who I use to be.' That is me seeing the humanity in him. I don't have that anymore.

'You'll make this all go away,' he makes me forget that I'm not human. He makes it all go away when I'm with him. He makes me feel so alive!

I didn't want to look at him. I was afraid to see how upset I had made him.

EPOV

Bella looked so beautiful when she sang. She was other-worldly. I just sat there, listened and watched her while she sang. The lyrics were almost surreal. Talking about something she can never have. But one part disturbed me. "Grey would be the color if I had a heart." Of course she had a heart, and it was definitely not grey. She seemed like such a loving person.

She just kept sitting there not looking at me after she finished singing. Her hair falling between us. I reached over and pushed it behind her shoulder. She still wouldn't look at me, so I put my finger under her chin and turned her to face me. She had tears in her eyes.

"Oh Bella." I said softly. There were no words to say what the look on her face did to me, so I pulled her into a hug. I wanted so much to take away the pain she held inside. I didn't know her whole story. I could look in her eyes and see that there was pain in them. I wanted to kill whoever caused her this pain. I just really hoped it wasn't all me.

I moved back from her. She looked up at me through her eyelashes. I couldn't have stopped myself if I tried. I leaned down and lightly brushed my lips across hers. I wanted to show her all that I felt for her, even if it wasn't rational. I slowly kissed her lips. I then brushed my tongue against her lower lip asking permission to go further. She moaned softly and slowly parted her lips. Our tongues tangled together pushing back and forth. I couldn't get enough of her. I was running my hands through her long locks of hair, while she grabbed me by the back of mine. It was so soft and sensual. I wanted so much more of her. I knew that I had to stop, so I pulled away slightly and rested my forehead against hers.

* * *

**EN:Aww...some kisses for Bella from Edward!! :) Next chapter is going to be getting into the nitty-gritty of the story. I can't wait to post it!! :) Please review. I'd love to hear from you guys!**


	19. Ch 19: First Change

**AN: Hey guys! Hope you all had a good day! Mine was better than the past couple. I got my very first bonus at work...woohoo!! But taxes took almost half of it. :( Boohoo!! lol**

**I really hope you like this chapter. **

**Thanks to my fantabulous Beta - Jadiona. **

**DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight...I just love reading, watching, and playing around with it. **

* * *

Chapter 19 – First Change

BPOV

I never expected Edward to kiss me. I was afraid that I would piss him off with my song, but apparently not. To say I was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement. It was a soft gentle kiss, not like the ravishing we had done to each other outside of the club before things went south between us. This was pure and sweet. I loved it. I wanted more of it, but he pulled away. We sat there for a minute resting our foreheads together. I looked up at his face and his eyes were closed; his lashes sweeping across his cheeks. I leaned forward once more and placed a chaste kiss against his mouth before lying back onto the ground. I was looking up at the sky, with the clouds covering the sun. I loved looking at the clouds when I was a kid, trying to figure out the shapes of each cloud. Sometimes I would see a horse, or a dog. Other times I would see dolphins or whales. Most of the time they just looked like blobs in the sky. My mom would lay outside with me looking at the clouds. I so missed my mom. It had been forty years since… everything changed. I was pretty sure my father was still alive, but of course I could never go see him. I wanted to, oh how I wanted to. I just knew that it would never be possible. How could you explain something like that to a seventy year old man? Yeah, I can see it now, "hey dad! I know I haven't changed since the last time you saw me. It's just this new beauty treatment they came out with. Almost like the fountain of youth." HA! That would never pass.

Edward laid next to me on the ground, and what he said next really surprised me.

"I see a unicorn." He was looking at the shapes in the clouds too. This man was made for me. What guy looks at the shapes of the clouds?

"Well, it's either that or a dog with a growth coming out of it's forehead." We both started cracking up. I hadn't laughed that hard in such a long time. It felt so good. It felt good to laugh with him.

That was when I noticed that there was a break in the clouds. I had to move. I got up and walked over to the edge of the forest to stay in the shadows of the leaves from the trees. Edward just watched me move. I was afraid that he was going to start asking questions, so I quickly made up an excuse.

"Edward, can you take me home now? I'm starting to get hungry."

"Of course Bella. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Well, it just sort of hit. I didn't realize how hungry I really was until just now."

So we walked back to his house, talking the whole way. We just talked about mundane everyday things. Nothing of importance, and I think we needed that. It seemed like every time we got together there was something huge to talk about.

"Bella, did you want to come inside? I'm sure Esme wouldn't mind making you something to eat." He told me.

"No, I think I should just go on home. I have a lot of school work to catch up on. Maybe next time though?" I asked him. Even though I would never be able to eat anything Esme made.

"Sure, that's fine." He said while walking to his car. I got into his Volvo for the 5 minute car ride to my house. It probably should have taken him at least 10 minutes to drive it, but he was a speed demon. I loved that about him.

We pulled up into my driveway and I started to feel sad. I didn't want this time to end just yet. "Um, Edward, would you like to come in?" I asked.

"Yeah!" he said excitedly. I was so happy he said yes. I really didn't want him to leave yet.

We walked into the foyer. I knew my family would know he was here. They would have been able to hear his heartbeat and smell his blood. I just hoped they didn't cause too many problems because he was here. I didn't think there should be anything wrong with it, since they had invited Emmett and Alice over here before.

I didn't want to take him to my room, since I didn't have a bed in it, so I took him to the library instead. That was my favorite room in the whole house. There were tons and tons of books.

His eyes widened in surprise. I think we probably had more books than Forks Library, so I could understand his reaction. "Whe… where did you get all of these?" he stuttered.

"Oh, here and there. We love books. Well, I love books. Carlisle just picks some up here and there for me. He loves antiques, so he tries to find first editions of most of the classics." I walked over to the battered copy of Wuthering Heights. I absolutely loved that book, and it was the first edition. I pulled it out gently and fingered the cover. Edward walked over to see what I had picked up.

"This is my favorite; a first edition Wuthering Heights. I'm not sure where Carlisle picked it up from." I handed it to Edward and he carefully lifted the cover and ran his finger over the rough print of the book. I liked watching him handling it with as much delicacy as I had. I knew that Edward had a soft touch, but this was even more so.

"Wow," he whispered. I just laughed at him.

"Yeah, that is exactly what I said when Carlisle brought it home. There isn't really anything else to say, is there?"

He gave the book back to me and I gingerly placed it back in it's place. He grabbed me around the waist and spun me to him. "Bella, what's going on? Between us?"

I didn't know how to answer him. I didn't know what was going on. It was like there was this inexplicable pull between me and him. Every time we touched I felt like I had electricity and fire running through my body. Every time I looked at him, I could swear I felt my dead heart jump. "I don't know, but you feel it too, don't you?" I whispered. He just nodded. We stood there looking into each other's eyes for a few minutes until I heard the door to the front of the house close loudly. We jumped apart.

"BELLLAA!!!" I heard Jasper yell to me. I ran as fast as I could with Edward around, to get to him. Jasper had a stricken look on his face.

"Jasper! What is it?" He looked from me to Edward and with a very slight shake of his head I knew that Edward shouldn't be here.

"Edward, um… I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay?" I leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Sure, Bella, are you sure you don't need anything from me? What's going on?" he asked frighten sounding.

"It's nothing. Just brother and sister stuff, don't worry about it. Why don't you go on home?" I was slightly pushing him out the door, but I needed to find out what was going on with Jasper.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, but if you need anything, just give me a call."

"Okay, bye!" I said while shutting the door.

"What the hell Jazz? What's going on?" I asked quickly.

"Bella, Rosalie called me, she said that she has Emmett. He… he was hurt. She's bringing him here."

"Hurt? Hurt how? Like a sprained ankle? Or something more serious?"

"I don't really know. She sounded panicked, so I think it's something big."

About that time Rosalie came bursting in through the back door. When she ran into the house all I could smell was blood. She had Emmett cradled like a child in her arms. If the situation wasn't so serious I could have laughed. She laid Emmett down on the dining room table that we never used.

His chest was mangled like something had attacked him. His shirt was torn and the gashes in his chest were huge! He had a large bite mark on his arm, and his face had huge claw marks running down it. It looked like he had been attacked by some large animal.

I knew he had said something about going hunting for deer with his friends, but where did the bear come from?

"What the hell happened?" I asked her.

At that Rosalie turned and ran straight to me. She was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Bella, I called Carlisle on the way here and explained what had happened and he doesn't think Emmett's going to make it. I don't know if I can live without him," she sobbed even harder.

"Rose… how do you feel about changing him?"

She gasped and looked up at me. "I… I… don't think I could do it. What if I can't stop?"

"Well, why don't you get Carlisle to do it?" I didn't know what she wanted me to do. I knew I couldn't do it. I would not put Emmett in that kind of danger. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop. I've never even tasted human blood. I just knew I couldn't handle it. As I was thinking, Carlisle came in.

"Carlisle, can you do change him?"

"I can do it, but I don't know if it would be the best thing. What about his family?" With that Rosalie screamed and started hitting Carlisle in the chest.

"Carlisle! Fuck his family! I can't live without him! I don't want to live without him! Please! Please just do it," she sank to the floor sobbing even harder. I went to her and pulled her into my arms. She placed her head in the crook of my neck. "Please, Bella. I can't live without him," she said quietly. I had never seen Rosalie act like this. I knew she had fallen hard for him. They had been inseperable.

I looked up at Carlisle and he had the saddest expression on his face. Jasper had run out of the room. I couldn't tell if he was having troubles with the blood or with Rosalie's emotions. It was probably a tie.

"Are you going to do it?" I asked him again.

He shook his head no, "Bella I can't do that again. I can't do this to Esme and his family. It wouldn't be right." He looked down at the ground.

"What!? You can't?! What do you mean by that? Why not? What about us… what about what is going to happen to his family when he DIES!?! Do you think that death would be so much better than this?!" I screamed and pointed to myself. "Then why didn't you let me die in the alley?!" Now I was sobbing.

I could hear Emmett's heart beating. It was barely there… more like a bump….ba dump…… bump….. ba dump….. bump…. ba…. dump. I knew that he didn't have long to live at all. I jumped up and ran over to him. If I couldn't stop drinking then there was nothing lost. He was going to die anyway. With that thought I leaned over to one of the gashes on his chest and just spit in it. I knew that the venom would enter his blood stream through the gash. Then I spit on the bite on his arm. I placed a kiss on his cheek. I really hoped I could do this. I was already starting to love him as a brother. Now he would be. I leaned in and bit his neck. The rush of his blood in my mouth was so warm and slid down my throat so easily. There was no way I was going to be able to stop now. I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up to me, like I was cradling him in my arms. Rosalie grabbed me by the back of the hair and growled while she pulled me off of him. I had blood running down my face and chest. I was horrified. If Rosalie hadn't stopped me, then I would have killed him. I couldn't face her or Carlisle. I knew I had let them down, again. I ran out to the forest.

* * *

**EN: Soooo...what do ya think? Let me know...send me a review. It's fun...I promise. lol **


	20. Ch 20: Explanations

**AN: Well, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Don't have much to say today. Have fun reading. Much love to my beta Jadiona, who updated all of her stories today. You should check them out. :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight...All rights are Stephanie Meyer's I just like playing with the characters. **

* * *

Chapter 20 – Explanations

Carlisle's POV

I never expected Bella to do what she did. I know it wasn't out of hunger or her thirst. She did this for her 'sister.' She knew it would destroy Rosalie if Emmett didn't make it. I hate that I couldn't take the burden of changing Emmett, but I knew it would kill Esme. Esme, my sweet beautiful girl. I had never found anyone in my whole 300 years that can love like that woman. She had taken in those kids for nothing, other than to provide a loving, caring home to them. She was such an angel. This was going to kill her. Now she would have no body to bury. No real evidence that her 'son' was dead. I knew now that we had to leave. We could not stay here with Emmett. He would be a blood thirsty newborn. Nothing would be able to stop him. He was a big boy to begin with, but now with his inhuman strength on top of what he already had, well, it was going to be a tough couple of years. That much I knew.

I told Jasper to go find Bella. She shouldn't be alone right now. I know that this is killing her inside. She wasn't able to stop until Rose pulled her off. I was pleasantly surprised at my 'children' though. Rosalie had enough self-restraint to keep from finishing the job out in the woods. She pushed her blood thirst down inside to bring him all the way here. She told me what had happened.

Emmett had been hunting with some of his friends from school. Rose said that she was hiding in the woods watching out for them. She knew the dangers of hunting. Not just from wild animals, but also from each other. What would happen if one of them ended up accidentally shooting the other? Well, she wasn't able to stop what happened anyway.

She was enjoying the banter between the guys and wasn't paying close attention. She said that the bear came out of no where. She hadn't expected it to happen. She couldn't run in and save Emmett, because of the other kids there. She had to watch Emmett get attacked by the bear unsure if the other kids were still around. I can only imagine how horrible it must have been for her.

Now Bella was out there somewhere alone. She would be devastated.

BPOV

I ran out into the woods. I didn't want to be anywhere near Emmett. I felt horrible. I was sure that I hadn't stopped in time. I just knew that he was dead, and all because of me. I had killed Edward's brother. I had killed Rosalie's mate. Why, oh why did I have to be such a fuck up!?!

I ran as fast as I could out to the meadow where Edward and I had been only a short while earlier. The break in the clouds was still evident as the sun spilled out into the gloriously lush meadow. So much rain came from the skies in this place, but it left such a wondrous amount of green over everything; the trees, the ground, the rocks. I ran at my vampire speed until I was out in the middle of the meadow and to hurry and catch the last rays of sun, before it left again behind the ever present clouds. I let the sun gently kiss my arms, my face, and my neck. I loved the way the sun felt on my skin. It warmed me completely. I was lost in my own little world when I heard a loud gasp. I knew then that I was not alone. I looked over to the edge of the meadow and there stood Edward. I didn't know how long he had been standing there. I didn't know if he had seen me run into the meadow, or if he just seen the effects of the sun on my skin.

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I could only stare at the shocked face of Edward. He started to back away from me slowly. I couldn't let him leave. But then he took a step forward. The sun vanished quickly behind the clouds. I could still only stand in the same spot in the middle of the meadow, our meadow. I didn't know if I could talk to him. I had just killed his brother. I didn't know what to say. Oh, sorry, you found out my secret! I sparkle in the sunlight. No, there's nothing wrong with me, just that I'm a damned vampire. That would not go over too well, but I had no idea what else to tell him.

"Bella?" He said tentatively.

I still could not speak. I only nodded.

He took another couple of steps toward me. "Wha…what?"

I couldn't take it. I fell to the ground, with my head in my hands. What am I supposed to say? How do you tell someone that you love, that you are not who they thought you were? What he saw couldn't just be joked away, I couldn't use sarcasm. I had to tell him the truth. Everything. That I was a vampire, that I killed his brother, that I was really 58 years old.

It felt like time had ceased to exist. I heard Edward approaching quickly to my side. He squatted down next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright?" he asked.

I couldn't do anything but sob. I knew that I had lost my chance at ever being with this wonderful sweet man. I sat there in the middle of our meadow and just cried like a baby. I felt something on my hands. I raised my head and looked down. My hands were wet. I wiped my hands across my eyes, and they were wet. I was crying…real tears. Edward grabbed me into a warm embrace. I couldn't do anything but cry. I felt like the dead heart in my chest was ready to crumble to pieces. I was going to lose the man that I loved before I even had a chance to get him. He just sat there rocking me back and forth while running his hand over my hair. He kept shushing me, and telling me everything was going to be alright. I only shook my head against his chest. I knew nothing would ever be alright again. Everything in my world was going to come crashing down on me and I didn't know how I was going to survive.

I was finally able to stop crying. I leaned back and looked into Edward's deep green eyes. I could see all of the questions. He gasped and started backing away. I only then realized what he had just seen. My eyes…they would no longer be the glorious gold only my family had…they would be red…like a newborns. I had fed on human blood. I had never had to deal with red eyes, even when I was a newborn. Carlisle said that it could have been because I was a vegetarian in my 'former life'. We had never found out the reason.

"Edward…please…let me explain." I said to him brokenly.

"What…what the fuck? What the fuck is going on?" He asked quickly.

"Edward, just tell me one thing and then I'll explain everything. Please? What did you see?"

He just stared at me, with his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Finally he was able to put it into words.

"I…I saw…I saw you standing in the middle of the meadow. The sun was glistening over your skin, almost like you were…sparkling. Now…you're eyes. The…they're red. How?"

"Oh, Edward, there are so many things that you don't know. I don't know how to tell you, but maybe I can show you a little. You say you only saw me standing in the middle of the meadow, but did you see how I got there? Or did you just walk up?"

"I…I just walked up. Why?"

"Just…watch." With that I ran slow enough for him to be able to see more than just a blur, but fast enough for him to know, that what I was able to do was not humanly possible.

He couldn't take his eyes off me. He watched me run the whole circumference of the meadow. I stopped right in front of him. Then I used my fastest speed and ran to the edge of the meadow in just about a blink of an eye. He looked around until he found me. I ran back to his side in the same way. When he saw me standing next to him he jumped back from me.

"Edward, I'm not what you think I am. I am not just a normal teenage girl. Hell, I'm not even human, but I'm still the same person I was at the diner just earlier this afternoon. You've had to notice there were things different about me. How I'm so deathly pale, how I'm constantly cold. How I never eat anything. What do you think I am?"

"I…I don't know. What the fuck are you?"

"Edward, please don't be frightened. I would never hurt you. Please remember that, above all else. Edward, I'm a vampire."

He laughed at me. "What the fuck are you talking about? You can't be a vampire. I just saw you in the sun. You didn't burn to ash. You don't go around drinking people's blood. I think I would have noticed if you were drinking people's blood around me, Bella. Really, what the fuck are you trying to prove? You just have on red contacts. You probably have on some fucking glitter shit on your arms. You can't be a fucking vampire. There's just no way. They aren't real."

I didn't know how to make him understand. "Really, Edward? Then how do you explain my speed? You saw it. What about my strength?" With that I ran over to a tree that was rooted into the ground and ripped it up out of the ground and threw it across the meadow. "How can you explain that away?"

He just stood there stunned. He couldn't explain it away. "Edward, come here. I want you to listen to something." He walked to me slowly. I gestured to my chest. "Listen. See if you can hear my heart beat."

He placed his head on my chest. I could feel the heat from his cheek through my shirt. I knew he wouldn't be able to hear my heart. It had quit beating 40 years ago. It was a useless organ left in my body. I quit breathing. "See, can you hear it? No, I didn't think you could. It's because it doesn't beat. I am the undead. I don't even have to breathe. See? I am not alive, not in the living, breathing sense. Do you understand?"

EPOV

No, I didn't understand. How was this possible? She couldn't be dead, or undead…whatever. She was right here. This was no horror movie. She wasn't a zombie, she wasn't a vampire. She was here. I could touch her and feel her.

I couldn't understand. Vampires are myths. Vampires are…are evil. They feed on humans. They drink the blood of their victims. Bella would never do that.

"NO! You can't be!! You're lying!" Even in my own head it sounded weak. I couldn't explain away everything she had shown me.

"Why? Why are your eyes crimson? They are always golden. Why the change? You haven't explained that one. Are they contacts?"

I had to have the answer to everything. If she could fake the eyes, she could fake the rest of it. I just couldn't figure out how.

"Oh Edward." She sobbed, dropping to the ground again.

"What? What is it Bella?"

"Where did Emmett go tonight?"

"He went hunting. What does Emmett have to do with anything?" I was really confused now.

Bella started explaining what had happened. "Edward, he was hurt. Emmett was hurt while out hunting. A bear attacked him. Rosalie brought him to our house. Yes, before you ask, she too is a vampire, along with Jasper and Carlisle. She has the strength just like I do. She brought him back to our house, hoping that Carlisle could fix him. Carlisle said there was nothing to be done. He had lost too much blood. His injuries were too extensive. He was going to die. It broke Rosalie's heart. She has given so much to Emmett already. Her heart may not beat, but she gave it to him. She's been alive for almost 100 years. She has never given her heart to anyone in that long period of time. She couldn't live without him. Edward, she asked Carlisle to change him. Into one of us. But Carlisle wouldn't do it. He didn't want to hurt your mother that way. He didn't want to condemn Emmett to a life like ours. I couldn't watch it kill my sister. I…I tried to change Emmett. I…I bit him, and I think…I may have killed him."

* * *

**EN: Sorry for the cliffie. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. If you did, then leave a review...if you didn't...well, you can leave a review too, just not a mean one. :) Til next update!! :)**


	21. Ch 21: Heartbreak

**A/N: Hey guys!! I can't believe all of the new reviewers I got for the last chapter. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know that people are reading my story. SQUEEE!! Here is the next chapter that I promised to a couple of people. (You know who you are ^.^) My Beta - Jadiona is definitely the bestest. Two of her stories have been nominated for the Moonlight Awards, you can find the link on NikkiMCR profile. Read and vote! Please? :) Have fun reading!!**

**

* * *

**

CHAPTER 21 - Heartbreak

**EPOV**

What? What the hell? What the fuck? She can't be serious. She just told me that she killed Emmett… by biting him… because she is a vampire. I don't know what the fuck she wants… no expects me to do. I don't know what to do. This is Bella!! This can't be happening. There is no way in hell this can be happening.

**BPOV**

I just told Edward that I killed his brother and all he can do is stand there and stare at me. I expected him to rage… to run… something. Not just stand there. I was afraid he was in shock. What I had just told him is too much for any one person to take in.

"Edward. Please…"

He blinked his gorgeous green eyes and ran his hand through his hair. He started laughing.

"Edward…" I took a step closer to him and he backed away.

"Bella… I… I think… no… I need time to think. I… I need to see Emmett."

"No, you can't. It would be too much. You don't want to see him like that. You shouldn't see him like that." I begged him. "Please, just trust me."

"TRUST YOU?!? How!? How can I trust you? You stand here and tell me that you fucking killed my brother! Are… Are you completely out of your mind!?!" He yelled at me.

I gasped. I knew he was extremely upset and he had every right to be, but it still felt like a knife was carving into my chest. I couldn't take it. I fell to the ground and curled up on my side.

"Bella… I need to get out of here. I… I just can't…" he was backing away from me. "Don't… don't… follow me. Don't."

I couldn't handle it. I was sobbing uncontrollably. He was leaving me. I knew this would happen, but I didn't expect it to hurt like this. I didn't expect to feel like I was dying. I didn't expect to feel like my whole being was ceasing to exist. He told me to not follow him. He didn't want me… again. How… How can fate be so unfair? I have only had him back for a day. Why… why… oh… why? I just laid there in the middle of our meadow sobbing uncontrollably. I was still crying real tears. I didn't even care. I didn't want to care about anything.

I closed me eyes and all I could see was Edward's grief stricken eyes. The green of his eyes had changed. They went from the greenest grass of Ireland to the darkest shade of hunter green I had ever seen. I tried to picture him as I saw him at the keyboard in choir. My mind wouldn't change views. I knew I would never be able to see his eyes dance the way they did when he laughed. He would never look at me like that. I was dead inside. I knew that I was dead to him. He would never be able to love me… not after everything I had just told him. I wish I could go back and change everything. I wish Carlisle had never changed me. I should have died 40 years ago. Edward would never have felt this pain I had inflicted on him. I wanted to be everything Edward Cullen deserved. I knew that would never happen. The rain started pouring on me. I took a shuddering breath and the blackness surrounded me.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

**JPOV**

I couldn't find Bella. I had no idea where she had gone to. I looked around the woods by our house. I couldn't even smell her. It was strange. She must have run so fast that her scent didn't linger in the air. I had to find her. I just ran in circles around our house, going out further and further with each pass. I knew she would be devastated. She should never have been the one to try and change Emmett. She had never tasted human blood before. I was almost afraid that our Bella was out there somewhere trying to find more of it. I was scared for her… for the people of Forks. I got a call on my cell phone. It was Alice.

Alice: Where are you? Do you have Emmett?

Jasper: Yes. Rosalie brought him to our house. He is still there.

Alice: Something terrible happened Jasper.

Jasper: I know. He is safe. Bella changed him. If she hadn't then he would have died.

Alice: I know that. I knew you guys would take care of him. It's not him that I'm worried about. It's Bella and Edward.

Jasper: What?! What do you mean?

Alice: I saw… I saw Bella telling Edward. She thinks she killed Emmett. She told Edward that she killed him. You have to find Bella. Edward is on his way home.

Jasper: I've been looking for her, but I can't find her anywhere near our house.

Alice: Look for the meadow. That's where she is. You have to get to her… fast. I'll take care of Edward.

Jasper: Okay honey. I'll find the meadow. I remember it from a couple of days ago hunting. I'll find her. I love you.

Alice: I love you too. Be safe.

She always told me to be safe, like I could be anything other than safe. I went in search of the meadow. It was closer to the Masen's house than to our house. I found it shortly after I hung up the phone. What I saw lying in the meadow scared the hell out of me. What I felt coming from the middle of the meadow brought me to my knees. It felt like my insides were being clawed out of me. Bella… oh my god. Bella.

**APOV**

I was so frightened for Bella. I saw what happened in the meadow. I knew that she loved my brother. I knew he was starting to get feelings for her, if he didn't already love her. He crushed her. She was so alone. I knew Jasper would take care of her.

Edward, now that was another story. Edward would be devastated. He walked in the door shortly after I hung up the phone with Jasper. He ran straight to his room and slammed his door. I was glad that we were alone. Esme was at a client's house working on their whole house. I knew she would not be coming home until late.

I walked quietly to Edward's room. I could hear him through the door, crying loudly and throwing things around. I slowly opened his door. He was crouched in the corner with his hands pulling at his hair. His CD's, which were normally in place on the shelf on his wall, were scattered and shattered all over his floor. I walked over to him as quickly as I could without stepping on the broken shards. I got down on my knees and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, while he placed his head on my own. He was weeping so hard he could hardly catch his breath.

"Edward, you need to breathe. You have to breathe. Come on." He took a shuddering breath, then another one. "Good, good. Now, you have to get up. Come on, we need to get you on the bed. You can do it." He shakily got up on his feet, but I shouldered a lot of his weight and helped him to his bed.

"Al… Alice… you have no idea… I don't believe…" he was trying to say.

"Edward, I do know. I know so much more than you think I do. You never really believed in my visions, but I do know. Now… well… now you do too."

He looked up at me with his red-rimmed eyes. "You… you knew this whole time? How? Why… why didn't you tell me? How could you keep this to yourself? What… what about… Em?"

"I didn't see that until it was too late. Edward, you have to listen to me. You got it wrong… Bella… she got it wrong. She didn't kill Emmett. She saved him, Edward. He isn't dead, not completely. Without Bella, Emmett would cease to exist. We should be grateful. He isn't dead."

Edward threw his arms around me. "I knew it! I knew she was fucking with me. But… how?"

"Edward, she wasn't, as you so delicately put it, 'fucking with' you. She is what she said is. Their whole family is vampires. Em… well, now so is Emmett, but at least he isn't dead."

"No, what the fuck is this? Why do you all feel the need to do this to me? Alice!! Vampires don't exist. They are made in movies and books. A figment of people's crazy imagination. There is no fucking way."

"Edward Anthony Masen! You listen to me! I am not fucking with you. Bella isn't fucking with you. It is the truth and if you would take your head out of your ass you would be able to see it with your own two eyes. They never eat around humans, because they can't digest human food. They never go out in the sunlight because they sparkle. You saw that today. They are soooo very cold, because they don't have blood to circulate. You've felt that. Their skin is like marble, because they are indestructible. You must have felt her hand, or her lips… how they don't give way under your touch or your kiss. I know you saw Bella run in the meadow. What human can do that? She is faster than anything I've ever seen. Their eyes, what has that color of eyes? I know you saw her with the red eyes. How can you explain all of that away? You can't. This isn't a ghost you can try to debunk. This isn't a virus you can put under a microscope. Just open your eyes and your heart. You know what they are. You know what Emmett has turned into."

He just sat there with a look of hard concentration on his face. I knew he was trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together on his own. Of course I showed him where they went, but he had to put the pieces in their prospective places. I saw the light bulb turn on his eyes.

"She… she's a vampire. Why? How? How did that happen to her?"

"Edward, I don't know. You're going to have to ask her that."

His face contorted into pain. "Oh Alice. I've been a fool again. I… I said some horrible things to her… in the meadow… in our meadow."

"Oh Edward, you're a guy. Of course, you said horrible things to her. That's what guys do. Now, do you know what else guys do?"

He just shook his head at me.

I looked at him, raised my head and said, "You fix what you broke."

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**JPOV**

I picked Bella up as gently as I could and ran her straight home. I didn't know what had happened out in the meadow. She had tears on her face. She was still in horrible emotional pain. I was deeply afraid that people could die from a broken heart. I was afraid that Bella would be the first case. I ran straight to Carlisle's office and yelled for him. I placed Bella down on the sofa. Carlisle came up a short second later.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Carlisle, I don't know. All… All I know is she is in so much pain… in her heart." I said gasping for breath trying to get over the pain she was causing me.

"What do you mean?" he questioned.

"I don't know what happened. I found her like this in the meadow. She hasn't responded to anything I've done. I've tried shaking her, slapping her (lightly of course). I've tried just about everything. She hasn't opened her eyes. It's like… she passed out."

"That... that's impossible. Vampires can't pass out. I've never seen a vampire pass out. Well, other than what happened to her in Italy." We both shuddered to think about that.

"All I know is that she hasn't responded to anything, and she's hurting emotionally. Alice called me and told me that Bella told Edward about us."

Carlisle looked up at me with a look of regret on his face. "Oh, Jasper… you mean… Edward?"

"Yes. He knows. Alice said that she would take care of him. I'm not sure what she meant by that… but I trust her."

"This boy has caused our Bella so much heartache already, but now this. Do you know what he said to her?"

"No, Alice didn't tell me. We didn't talk too long. I could call her. Try to figure something out."

"Okay. I'm going to check Bella over more thoroughly. Can you step outside?"

"Sure. If you need anything just let me know."

I ran downstairs and out the back door. I hated to feel this way, but I had to get away from Bella. I couldn't handle it. Maybe that's why she passed out. Maybe she couldn't handle the pain she was in. Her body just shut down. I dialed Alice's number.

Jasper: Hey Al, can I ask you a question?

Alice: Jasper, I can't talk right now. We're on our way over to your house.

Jasper: NO! You can't come here. Emmett… he's… he's not ready yet. You can't come here. It's too dangerous.

Alice: Oh, Jasper. Nothing will happen. He's still out of it, right?

Jasper: Yeah, but what happens if he wakes up and you're here? He will be too strong to control. Even with Carlisle, Rosalie, and me. We wouldn't be able to stop him if he attacked you. I can't let anything happen to you.

Alice: Jasper, I told you… I've seen it. It will be fine. Don't worry so much. We will be there in about 5 minutes. Love you. Be safe.

Jasper: I… I love you too.

I hung up and ran as fast as I could to the dining room where I had left Rose and Emmett earlier before looking for Bella. Rose was sitting next to Emmett running her hand across the top of his head, waiting until the change was finally complete.

I stopped and listened. I couldn't hear anything. That was odd. Emmett's heart should have been beating a hundred miles a minute.

"Rose, what happened?"

"I don't know." She said softly. "It just quit about a minute ago, while you were outside. He hasn't screamed once since she bit him. Do you think he's okay? I… I'm scared Jasper. What if… what if it didn't work?"

"She did everything right. She even went steps further than necessary. Putting her venom on his wounds was genius. Look, his gashes and cuts are healed. You know that it worked. I just don't know why his heart has stopped, nor why he hasn't screamed. I can barely remember the pain, but I know it was horrible. The worst pain ever, well, until…"

"Until what?" she asked.

So I told her quickly about Bella. Then I remembered that Alice was coming. "Rose, we have to move him. We have to put him in the basement. Alice and Edward are coming here… now. She should be here any minute. I can't take the chance of Emmett attacking her."

"I understand. Don't worry about it. Will you help me?"

I reached over and grabbed Emmett's shoulders while Rose grabbed his feet. We placed him on a spare couch in the basement. I left her there with him and made my way back up the stairs when I heard the knock on the door.

* * *

**EN: Hope you guys are enjoying the story! I love love love the reviews. Please keep 'em coming! :) Just click the cute little green button at the bottom. :) Til next time!**


	22. Ch 22: Saved

**AN: Hi everyone!! I'm so happy that you guys are liking my story. Special thanks to my beta - Jadiona. 3 **

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Twilight owns me...but I don't have a problem with **

* * *

Chapter 22 – Saved

**EPOV**

Alice had helped me to see what I should have noticed a long time ago. Granted… it was still hard to accept. I had to see everything for myself. I couldn't just abandon my brother. I couldn't just leave Bella like I had left her, again.

I could still see her curled up into a ball on her side in the middle of our meadow. I had to try to take the pain away. The pain I had caused. She thought she had killed my brother. Alice said differently, but I still wanted to see him… even… even if he was a vampire.

We pulled up in front of their house and every light was burning. I was so nervous. I didn't know if it was because I knew what they were now, or because I was scared for Emmett, or if I was nervous to see Bella again. Alice told me that Jasper had found her, but she wouldn't say anything other than that.

Alice bounced up to the front door, like this was a social call. She knocked and a second later the door was opened by Jasper. He had a pained look on his face. He grabbed her in for a fierce hug and his face relaxed. That is until he saw me standing at the bottom of the steps. He glowered at me and growled.

"Jasper. Stop… he's here, because he's sorry. He has to see for himself."

"I don't give a shit. He has hurt her far too much already. I don't think she can take anymore." He said with a broken face again.

"What are you talking about? She can't take anymore… what do you mean?" I asked.

Alice turned and looked at me with a sad face. "Why don't you go see for yourself?"

I started up the steps. I hoped Jasper wouldn't hurt me with Alice standing there. They moved out of the door, and Jasper said, "In Carlisle's office up the stairs."

I moved to the steps with Alice and Jasper following behind me. I made it to the top and a door opened. It was Carlisle. "Edward." I heard Jasper gasp behind me. I turned and looked. He had the pained look on his face again and he was clutching his chest. I didn't know what was wrong with him. He looked up at me and motioned to the open doorway. I knew that I would find Bella in there.

I walked slowly over to the open door and turned into it. What I saw… couldn't be explained. Bella was lying on a couch, with her hair fanned out underneath her head. Her eyes were closed, almost like she was sleeping, but I could see the tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes.

I turned and looked at Carlisle. "She hasn't woken up. She won't respond to any attempts to wake her. Edward, vampires… we can't sleep. We can't cry real tears. Our body doesn't function the same way as humans. She shouldn't be able to do anything that she's doing now. We can't figure it out. We don't understand how she's doing what she's doing."

I understood now why Jasper's face was so pained looking. He was watching his sister fall apart.

"Edward, whatever you said to her in the meadow… it broke her. You have to fix this. I can't be in the same room as her, because she hurts so much. I can feel emotions, I don't know if Alice told you. I can also let people feel emotions." Jasper told me. He reached for my hand. I hesitated. "It works better if I'm touching the person. I want you to feel one tenth of what she's feeling right now so you can understand. So YOU can fix this."

I looked into his eyes and I could see the pain etched in them. I slowly reached out my hand and grabbed his. What I felt next… was completely unexplainable. I hurt so much in my chest that I fell to my knees. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I sobbed loudly. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, but not on my shoulders… on my heart.

I felt Jasper let go of my hand. I gasped a deep breath, filling my lungs. I slowly looked up at him. He just looked down at me on the ground and nodded. "One tenth," was all he said.

I couldn't believe it. If that was one tenth of what she was feeling then… I couldn't understand how she was surviving. That was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. One tenth.

I got up slowly from the ground, shaking from the pain.

I turned around and walked into Dr. Cullen's office. I just stood there and looked at her. She was still silently crying. I slowly walked over and knelt next to her. I gently took her hand and just looked at her face. She was so beautiful. I didn't know what to think about what she and her family were, but I knew right then, that I was falling for this woman. I may have already fallen for her, but I just didn't know it.

I spoke softly to her. "Bella, please. Honey, you have to wake up. You're scaring your family. You're scaring me. I'm so sorry for what I said to you earlier. I… I was just shocked. Jasper told me that Emmett isn't dead. You didn't kill him. He is fine. Please. Please… wake up." I laid my head on her arm and started sobbing. "We need you back. Come back to me."

BPOV

I couldn't move, but I heard Edward. I was afraid that it was just a dream. He would never want me again. I had killed his brother. I know he told me that Emmett wasn't dead, but this was just a dream. I wanted to be able to see his face. I could only see the hurt, the confusion, the fright in his eyes. Only his eyes. I had hurt him… not physically, I could never hurt him physically, but emotionally… mentally. I wanted to make everything right for him. I wanted time to go back and fix this. Maybe I was still in Italy. Maybe I had been killed in Italy and this is my hell. Knowing that I hurt Edward. We had come so close… so close to being friends… to being together.

I felt warmth on my arm. Then it moved up into my shoulder and then finally came to rest in my chest. It caused my chest, which had been empty and hollow for so long to be turned into a crushing brutal pain. Now there was only warmth. I sobbed. I felt my shoulders shake. I heard Edward say "Come back to me." I wanted to… I wanted this to be true. I wanted to go back to him… if only he would have me. I wanted him. I slowly opened my eyes and only saw the ceiling. I knew that I had been left alone in the meadow. I knew this room… this was Carlisle's office. I still felt the warmth on my arm, traveling up into my chest. I looked down and there was a mess of bronze hair. It was Edward. He was here. I gasped and sobbed again. "Oh, Edward."

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "Bella? Oh God! Bella you're back. You came back to me… us."

I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what to do. Edward pulled me into another of his warm embraces. I loved it when he folded me into his arms. We were a perfect fit. Just then Jasper, Carlisle, and Alice walked into the room. I was so happy to see my father and brother, my best friend Alice. Where was Rosalie? Was she pissed at me for killing her mate?

Edward backed away from me slowly and I felt the coldness rush back into me. I wrapped my arms around myself. I didn't want to go back to the dark place. I had to harden myself against this pain. I had to push it down deep inside. I couldn't let them know how much this hurt. Carlisle came over to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"Oh Bella, I was so scared. What happened? How do you feel?" He shot off the questions, like he was at a firing range.

I could only laugh at him. I was so glad to be back. I didn't know exactly how long I had been out of it. I didn't know exactly what had happened. All I could remember was the pain, the horribly excruciating pain. I hoped that I never had to feel that pain again. I would make it to where I would never feel that pain again. I would never… I could never… Never.

Alice hadn't moved at all since she had walked into the room. Jasper was standing there with his arm laid across her shoulders. She was just standing there crying and staring at me. I only looked at her and nodded. She ran across the room and threw herself into my arms. I could tell that I had scared her. "Bella, please? I love you."

I didn't know what she was asking me for. I just knew that I would not hurt her. I only rubbed her back and said, "I love you too."

Jasper walked over and was staring at me like he was trying to see into my soul. I moved one of my arms from around Alice and Jasper wrapped himself around both of us. I felt his calming presence. I loved my family so much. I just missed Rosalie.

I guess Jasper could feel my longing, because he moved back away from me and Alice. "She's downstairs… with Emmett." He said.

I just ran my hands through my hair and hung my head down. I knew she would never want to talk to me again. I knew my family had to feel disappointment in me. I couldn't understand why they were all here.

Jasper ran back over to me when I started crying again. "Bella? What? What is it?"

"I'm so sorry! I tried… I really tried to stop. I… I couldn't stop. I'm so sorry!!" I wailed.

"Bella, honey, calm down. Everything is fine. Emmett is fine. He is alive… well, you know what I mean." Carlisle said to me.

"But how? I… I thought…" I felt like I couldn't get a single coherent thought across. I just wish that someone could read my mind and help me to get my point across.

"No, he is fine. We do have some things to talk about though." Carlisle said evasively while he looked at Edward and Alice.

Alice just nodded and finally let me go. She walked to the door, where Edward was standing. He hadn't moved from that spot since he had walked away from me… again. She grabbed Edward's arm and said, "We will leave you all alone. Jasper, call me later," and with that they left.

* * *

**EN: Are you surprised I didn't leave you with a cliffhanger? I am...lol I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Please leave me a review. Even a hi! will suffice. :) Thanks for reading. Til next time!**


	23. Ch 23: New Abilities

**AN: Hey lovelies! Can I just say I love each and everyone of you? My reviews are now over 100!! Holy fucking shit!!! :-) You all make me so happy!! I read each and every one of them. I want to thank my wonderful beta, Jadiona. She holds my hand when I'm scared. lol **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. That would be Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

Chapter 23 – New Abilities

**BPOV**

Carlisle had walked Alice and Edward out, but after they left I felt so empty. I guess that was better than the alternative, the pain. Jasper must have felt something shift in me, because he walked over to me quickly and pulled me into a huge hug. "Bella, you didn't kill Emmett. He is fine. We could smell the venom running through his veins. You did the right thing. He will be better off with us, than with just dying. You know that."

"Do I, Jasper? Do I really? What happens now, huh? What do we do? Put steel reinforced doors in our basement and keep him locked up? How are we supposed to stay here with him? We can't just send him out on his own. We can't stay here, because he will want to kill any human within a hundred mile radius. We are going to have to go back to Alaska." I said putting my head in my hands.

"Bella, something… well… something strange is happening to Emmett. He is changing very fast, plus he isn't even screaming. See… listen."

I did, I sat there straining my perfect hearing to try and hear Emmett's cries. That was why I had thought he had died… why I had killed him. I hadn't heard him before, and I didn't hear him now.

"What do you think it means?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. But I do know we have a lot to figure out in a short time."

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Jasper and I ran down to the top of the basement where he said that Rose and Emmett were and it was eerily quiet. I couldn't hear anything, not a breath, not a heartbeat. I looked back at Jasper and he just shrugged.

What I saw completely shocked me. Rosalie was sitting on the floor next to the couch that Emmett was laying on. Emmett… well, Emmett was sitting up on the couch smiling. I couldn't believe it. The gashes, the slashes, the bites, they were gone. He was pale like us, but he wasn't a raging newborn. He wasn't running around destroying anything. He had already completed the change. He was fine. He broke out into a huge grin and jumped off the couch and ran over to me and Jasper.

Jasper jumped in front of me, in a defensive stance, growling. Emmett stopped in his tracks and just looked at Jasper curiously.

"Dude!? What the fuck?! I just wanted to give a hug to my lil' sis for saving my life. Come on, man! Please?"

Jasper stood slowly and looked at Carlisle, who had just walked in, and he just shrugged. Carlisle, the all-knowing father figure of our family had nothing to say.

I stepped around Jasper slowly and looked at Emmett. He looked the same to me. He even acted the same, other than the lightning fast speed he used to get over to where Jasper and I were standing.

I walked up to Emmett and just looked up at him. His eyes, they were golden already, not the red of a newborn. I didn't know what the fuck had happened. He just kept looking at me with this shit-eating grin on his face. I jumped into his arms and he spun me around in a circle.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he said while kissing my cheeks.

I couldn't help but laugh. He was just the same; the same funny, loving sweet guy. He put me down and ran back over to Rose and grabbed her in for a loving embrace, doing the same thing to her as he did to me.

I walked over to Carlisle and wrapped him in for a hug. "What…?"

"Honestly Bella, I have no idea. I can't explain it. I'm not sure… but it would seem… maybe you have another power we didn't know about."

"What are you talking about? How did I do this?"

"It may be in your venom. I can't be sure, since this is the first person you have ever changed. I really truly don't know. We still don't know how he will react to humans though. There may still be a problem."

"Carlisle, Alice and Edward just left. Wouldn't their smells still be in the house?"

"Well, yes, I suppose. That may give us some idea of what we are dealing with here."

We walked into the office where they had stayed the longest. I could still smell them, almost as much as if they were still here. I was anxious to see Emmett's reaction. Jasper stuck his nose up in the air, sniffed, and then nodded, "I think it might work."

Rosalie had Emmett by the arm and walked into the office behind us. Emmett just stood there looking at us. He stuck his nose up in the air; much like Jasper did and sniffed. His hand went to his throat. "What is that smell? Its making me feel like I haven't had anything to drink in months."

We quickly walked Emmett back out of the room. We knew then that Emmett needed to hunt. All of us went out of the house and into the woods. We decided that Rosalie should show him how to hunt. It really was second nature to us, but still a few pointers were needed.

We made it back to the house within an hour. Carlisle wanted to try taking Emmett back into the office. This time, it seemed to be better. Emmett said that he could still smell Edward and Alice, but his throat didn't hurt. That was a very good sign, but it had been even longer since they had been in there.

We sat in the living room explaining everything to Emmett. Rose had told him the basics of his story, about the bear attack, about me changing him, and about what he was now. We tried to fill in the blanks. We were still stumped about why it had taken him less than a full day to change and why he wasn't reacting in the 'normal' way.

Carlisle kept looking at me the whole time we were talking to Emmett. Almost like he was afraid I was going to disappear, or if I was going to black out again. Rose and Emmett went to her bedroom to have some alone time together, while Jasper, Carlisle and I went to his office to try and figure out what had happened to me.

I still felt so empty, almost like the pain literally crushed my heart. I didn't know what to make of it.

Jasper and Carlisle talked about my 'episode' as they were calling it, while I kept thinking about Edward and his reactions from when I woke up. He had hugged me, but I couldn't tell if he was happy to see me awake. He had said that I came back to him… then changed it to us. Then he backed away from me like he was still afraid of me. I couldn't understand what was going on in his head.

"Bella?" Carlisle said to me. I had completely blanked out of their conversation.

"Sorry, what was that?" I said to him.

"I know you may not want to talk about what happened, but we really need to know what's going on. Alice told Jasper that right before your 'episode' you had told Edward about us. Is that the cause of all of this?"

"Dad, I…" sighing I just gave up the idea of not telling him, and started again, "I guess that what I had could be considered an anxiety attack. You know how much I… care for Edward. I thought I had killed his brother. I had to tell him what had happened. He saw me sparkle in the sunlight, so I showed him the rest, my strength, my speed. He saw my eyes."

"What about your eyes, dear?"

"Well, he saw them red, obviously."

"Bella, your eyes aren't red anymore. They are more of a bronze color. Almost like a cross between our golden eyes and the red. How?"

"Dad, I don't know!" I shouted. I hated shouting at my father, but I just couldn't take all of these questions. I had no idea why everything was turning crazy, why everything was becoming so fucked up so quickly. For forty years everything stayed pretty much the same, but in the matter of hours everything had completely changed.

Jasper sent a wave of calm over me and I just looked at the ground and said, "I'm sorry. I'm just as confused as you are. Everything has changed so fast that I can't even tell if I'm coming or going. To finish where I left off, after I told and showed Edward everything he freaked out; which is to be expected, but it just hurt so much. He told me not to follow him… almost like he was afraid I would come after him. I couldn't take the pain. I had so much pain in my chest that I just folded over on myself on the ground and blacked out. I think maybe my body just was trying to give me a release from all of the pain and it just completely shut down. Oh and I also started crying real tears. I don't even know how that is possible. I shouldn't be able to do that. Then the next thing I know I'm here." I trailed off.

"Bella, well, Jasper brought you back home. Alice saw you collapse and was worried, so she told Jasper where to find you. Maybe you just had a sensory overload from feeding off of a human. It has been forty years, and that was the first taste you had received of human blood. We can't really know for sure. It's not like I can run tests or anything, so we can only speculate. Are you feeling okay now?" Carlisle asked.

"I feel fine. Don't worry about me. If I start to feel any different you'll be the first to know. Okay, Dad?"

"Okay. Well, it's been a long day. I'm just going to go to my room. If you need anything at all, just let me know." Carlisle was always so worried about me. I didn't know if it was because I was so 'young' compared to them, but it sometimes got on my nerves. I let it slide today, because of all the things that had happened.

I walked outside to try and be alone with my thoughts, but Jasper followed close behind me. "Jasper, you don't need to worry about me. I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I can tell. Please… tell me what's really going on. I'm getting strange… vibes from you. What is it?"

"Honestly Jasper? I have no idea. I just feel… empty. Like there's nothing there inside me any more. I can't tell you what's going on. It's like I can't feel anything. I just feel… numb." I said softly.

"Why didn't you tell Carlisle? He's very worried about you, you know."

"When is he not worried about me? I just need some time to think. Everything happened so fast. I'll see you in the morning, okay?" I really needed some time alone. I felt like everyone was crowding around me. I needed my space.

"I'll be here if you need me. You know that right?" Jasper told me.

"I know. Go, do whatever it is you have to do. I'll be fine."

Finally, I was alone. I hated this feeling, this feeling of emptiness. I don't know what's happening to me.

**JPOV**

I go inside the house after Bella asked to be alone, but I stood in the kitchen and watched her through the window. She was just sitting there, still like a statue, staring off into the woods. As much as I hated feeling her pain earlier, I'm more scared about not feeling anything come off of her. It's just not right. Everyone has some type of emotion coming off of them; whether it is happiness, sadness, lust, anxiety, hate, or love, but with Bella… nothing. It was like she wasn't even here. She had a reason for not telling Carlisle, but I didn't know what that reason was. I would not break her trust and tell him. If she wants him to know, she will tell him. I'm just… worried.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

**EPOV**

Alice and I were quiet on the short ride back to our house. Once we got there, we noticed that Esme's car was in the driveway. How were we going to explain Emmett missing?

We walked into the kitchen where she was sitting at the island drinking tea and reading a magazine. "Hello dears," she said.

Alice ran over and gave her a huge hug, and said "Hi Mom! Um… Emmett is going to be staying at the Cullen's tonight. He and Jasper are supposed to be doing something super early in the morning, so they figured it would be easier. I hope that's alright?"

"That's fine dear. Thanks for letting me know. I'm just going to go on up to bed. It's pretty late. You guys should too."

I walked over to Esme and gave her a kiss on her cheek and told her good night.

After I was alone in my room I couldn't keep the images out of my head. I kept replaying everything that Bella had told me in the meadow. I just couldn't believe that she is a vampire. After everything I had seen of Bella, she doesn't seem like an animal. I just didn't want to think of her that way… and now… my brother. That is just weird. I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe. Vampires shouldn't exist. How many of them are out in the world? How many do we come into contact with on a given day? If they are so strong and fast, then why are they not ruling the planet? I just don't get it. I don't know if I'll ever get it.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**APOV**

I hate seeing Edward so torn apart. I know he is upset… confused… hurt… sad. I wish I had told him about the Cullen's before now, but it's too late for that. I know it is a lot to take in. Hell when I first saw them in my vision I was scared, but then I realized that they weren't bad people. They were just… different, like me.

He was finally coming to terms with his feelings for Bella. I could tell there was something special between them even at the beginning, but now… I didn't know how everything was going to turn out. I couldn't see Bella clearly. I've been trying to see her future, just to make sure she was really okay, but she was hazy. Almost like a halo of light was covering her, like the way a candle puts off a halo of light, only this was covering her. I couldn't tell why that was. It was like she was just floating along.

I had tried to look into Edward's future too, but it kept changing too fast. He was trying to make a decision about how to handle the whole vampire thing. His future was a kaleidoscope of images. It hurt my head to watch it.

I was just glad that Emmett was safe and sound. I could only be grateful to Bella for changing him… for saving him. It would have been devastating to our family if we had lost him forever.

I tried one last time to see Bella's future. I was really worried about her. After everything that she went through today… well, let's just say it was too much for one person. She was too much of a good person for all of this shit to happen to. I could see her in the backyard of her home. She was sitting alone, staring out into the woods. She started singing, but it sounded monotonous. It didn't sound like her singing at all. I've heard her singing in the car, I've even heard her in choir, but this was nothing like her. It sounded so sad…so lost.

I can't feel my senses  
I just feel the cold  
All colors seem to fade away  
I can't reach my soul

I would stop running  
If I knew there was a chance  
It tears me apart to sacrifice it all  
But I'm forced to let go

Then the vision faded slowly away. I hated not being able to control my visions like a movie. Once they decided to stop, I couldn't bring them back up. I couldn't rewind the tape. It was just lost. Her words were so sad… so empty. I didn't know what to do to fix this. I didn't even know if there _was_ anything I could do to fix this.

* * *

**EN: The lyrics are from "Frozen" by Within Temptation. I absolutely love that band. You should check out the song. I posted a link to a youtube video for it so you can listen to it. Well...enough of that jazz...go ahead and click the pretty green button at the bottom. It likes to be clicked. LOL Til next time!!**


	24. Ch 24: Emotions

**AN: Hey guys! Not a lot to say today, just read and review. I get lots of hits, but not many reviews. :( Hopefully you can find just an extra minute to leave me a little review. I love 'em! :) **

**I want to send out some love to my beta, Jadiona. She holds my hand when I get crazy and upset, I'm sure she's hating my rollercoaster of emotions here lately. lol Thanks hun!! **

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight...I now own the New Moon Movie Companion!! :) WOOHOO!!**

* * *

Chapter 24 – Emotions

**BPOV**

I couldn't wrap my head around anything anymore. I gave up trying to think. I just sang what came to me. It didn't even sound like me. It was vacant sounding. Everything was slipping away from me. I didn't know what to do any longer.

The sky was starting to lighten. I knew we wouldn't be going to school today. We had to stay home to take care of Emmett, just to make sure that he didn't have a delayed reaction to the change and started rampaging. I went inside to see what everyone else was up to.

Jasper was in his room playing with his 'Music Maker', tweaking with the accompaniment to go along with the lyrics to my songs.

Carlisle was getting ready to head into work.

Rosalie was taking a shower.

Emmett was sitting on the floor looking at a broken remote to the Wii, with a look of confusion on his face. I felt bad for him. I remembered what it was like to try and get used to the new strength. I walked over and sat next to him.

"So… you already broke the remote, huh?"

"Yeah, stupid fucking weak shit!" he yelled.

"Calm down, Em. It's okay. We can get more. Don't worry about it. It will just take some time to get used to your strength. I know it sucks, but just try to be gentle with stuff and you'll be fine. How are you feeling?"

"I feel great, Bella. It's amazing. Rosie told me all about you guys last night. How can you keep a secret like that? It has to be so hard. I want to run around and yell at the top of my lungs about what I am. I mean I get why you have to keep the secret, but it just seems like a hard thing to do, especially keeping it from people that you love. I can't understand how Rosie kept it from me. I know that Alice already knows about you guys, but how did you keep it from Edward?"

I was shocked by what he meant by that. He was saying that I kept the secret from someone that I loved, Edward. I also realized that I still didn't feel anything… anything at all. No pain about keeping the secret from him, no pain about how he reacted to the secret, nothing.

"Did Rose tell you that I told him?"

"Yeah, well, no… we heard you talking to Carlisle and Jasper last night. I can't believe that he was scared of you Bella. He cares too much about you. He was just reacting to the information overload. I'm sure of it. Don't worry about him… he'll come around."

"Yeah, sure Em. I'll see you later. I need to go get ready."

I walked out of the room and went upstairs. I just wanted my sanctuary… my room. Jasper was following me around again. I stopped at my door and just looked at him.

"Bella, I can't stand it. You still have no emotions rolling through you. Even your eyes look dead. I think you need to talk to Edward. Maybe that will help you to figure out what is going on with you. I…" Jasper was cut off by his phone ringing.

After looking at it, he answered, "Yes Alice?"

I could hear her chipper voice coming through the phone, "We're coming over."

"NO! You can't… I told you, Emmett is not safe to be around right now. We don't know how he'll react to the scent of you. I can't take that chance. It would be just too much."

"Jasper, you listen to me. I – CAN – SEE – THE – FUTURE! Geez, you would figure having excellent hearing would let you listen to me. Sheesh! We are going to be fine. Emmett isn't going to hurt us. We'll be there in about 30 minutes. Don't worry about us. Love you!" Alice was such a pistol. She left Jasper with nothing to say.

"ROSE!! Take Emmett hunting now! Alice and Edward are coming over in 30 minutes. Hurry!" Jasper yelled to Rose.

I should be nervous… I should be excited… but again… nothingness. I was really starting to hate this. I decided to go hunting with Rose and Emmett. Emmett was having fun taking out his frustrations on the grizzly bear population, while Rose and I settled for some deer. After we were done Rose wrapped her arms around me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you last night. I was just so worried about Emmett, and… well… I'm sorry. I heard you last night talking with Jazz and Carlisle. Are you still feeling… nothing?"

"Yeah… nothing. No pain, no anger, no love, no hate. I don't know what happened. Don't worry about me though. You worry about Em. He needs you now more than ever. You're very lucky."

"Bella… I hate this! You don't even sound like yourself. Just a monotone voice attached to you. You're always either sarcastic, bitchy, or being a smart ass. Now you're just… here. That's the only way I can explain it. You don't even act like you are existing… you are just here. I need my sister back. I want her back."

"I know Rosie. I just don't know how to bring her back. Believe me… if I could, I would. But it's just not happening. I don't care about anything, and I don't know what to do. I'll figure it out eventually, but just not right now. Go, grab Emmett. They will be here in about 5 minutes."

I ran back to the house on my own and went straight to my bedroom. I didn't know if I wanted to be around Alice and Edward. I wanted to, but I was afraid that I would still be the same. I didn't know what everyone would do if nothing could fix this. Would they even want me around? I couldn't go to school like this. I just wish that I could understand why this happened to me.

**EPOV**

Alice came and told me to get ready. We were going to the Cullen's house to see Emmett. I was so excited to see my brother. At least I would have proof he was okay. I wanted to see Bella. I still didn't know how I was going to react to her, but I wanted to see her. We walked up the front steps of their house and knocked. Jasper opened the door for Alice and me.

Once inside I could tell things were tense. Jasper was standing stiff almost like he was in attack mode. I looked around, but didn't see Bella. Maybe she was staying back with Emmett and Rosalie.

"Alice, are you sure everything is going to be fine?" he asked.

Alice got that far away look in her eyes, and then shifted her gaze to his face, "Yes. We will be fine." Then she jumped up and kissed him on his cheek.

"Go to the living room and wait for us. We will bring him in slowly. Don't move too fast. We don't want to startle him." Jasper told us.

We were standing in the middle of their living room waiting to see our brother, when they finally walked into the doorway. Rose was on one side of him and Jasper was on the other. Emmett just stood there, looking like he was holding his breath. He looked so much the same, but so different at the same time. He was so pale and his eyes were the same golden as the rest of the Cullen's.

But his face… I hated to think this way, but he looked more handsome, like he had, had a ton of plastic surgery on his face. I saw Rosalie whisper something to him and Jasper brace himself. Emmett just kept staring at us and then I saw him lift his head. It was like he was sniffing the air to see if we stunk, then his face broke out into a huge smile. Rose visibly relaxed, but Jasper did not. I could tell that he wasn't going to be taking any chances while Alice was around.

"Emmett?" Alice asked softly.

He nodded. "Yeah," He even sounded different. Almost like a musical lilt was added to his deep baritone sound.

Emmett took a tentative step forward with Jasper mirroring his every move. Alice took a small step forward too. Finally they reached each other and Emmett made the same motion as before, like he was sniffing the air. He grinned again and reached his hand out. Alice took it and looked at Jasper. "Can I hug him, please?" she asked.

Jasper nodded tightly then Emmett leaned down while Alice put her arms around his neck. I was still standing where we were at the beginning, watching the whole encounter. Alice let go of Emmett and turned around to face me. "Get your ass over here, Edward."

I walked slowly, but not as slow as Alice had. I gave Emmett a hug. Before he had always felt thick, like a big chunk of meat, but now he felt like a brick wall. I was so glad that my brother was okay. We all finally sat down on the sofas in the living room discussing everything we had learned over the past 24 hours. Hell, it hadn't even been 24 hours yet. Jasper apparently felt more comfortable with Emmett's control, so he excused himself.

It had not escaped my notice that Bella had not shown her face since we had arrived. I hoped that she wasn't too upset with me. I just didn't know how to react to all of this yesterday. I was still a little out of it today, but I felt more accepting of their… 'kind'. Especially since my brother was now one of them.

Finally Jasper walked back into the living room and sat next to Alice. He whispered something in her ear and she just nodded and looked at me.

Then it was almost like the room lightened up. I saw her out of the corner of my eye. Bella had just stepped into the room. She looked different. She had purple marks around her eyes, but they were dull looking. Not the sparkling gold, not the brilliant red, not the shiny bronze of yesterday. They were completely blank looking… there was the golden color, but they were not sparkling. She didn't smile, she just looked… dead. I didn't like this at all. What had happened to her yesterday after we left? When she woke up she seemed glad that I was there, but now, nothing.

I got up from my seat and walked over to her. Her eyes followed me, but still no reaction to me being there. I knew that I had said some hurtful things the day before, but I was shocked and scared. Hell I had a right to be scared. Now I just wanted everything to go back to being the same again. I wanted her to smile for me. I wanted her to laugh… hell I wanted her to do anything, but just stand there.

"Bella?" I said.

"Yes?" Oh god, even her voice was different. It was bland, not the lyrical sound of before.

"Can we take a walk?" I asked her.

"Sure."

So we walked out to the backyard of their house and just sat on one of the benches.

"Bella… what… what happened?" I questioned her.

"Everyone keeps asking me that. I don't know. Nothing… nothing happened." She said in the monotone voice.

"Bullshit. Something happened. You weren't like this yesterday after you woke up. You had life in your eyes, but now there's nothing. What is it?" I couldn't look away from her face. She looked so frail, so fragile, like a piece of delicate porcelain.

"It's just what I said. Nothing… nothing happened. I haven't felt anything since last night. I don't know why it happened, but it did. Carlisle and Jasper think… that it is a sensory overload, or that my body is trying to protect itself… but I just don't know."

I couldn't stand hearing her like this. So void sounding. We sat there like there silently for a little bit. She was staring out into the woods, almost like she was searching for something… maybe her feelings. I couldn't tell.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to react the way I did yesterday," I started off, "I was just a little overloaded. I thought my brother had been killed, then you… show me everything… tell me everything. I had no clue before about your… kind. It was just too much information at once. I'm sorry I told you to not… follow me."

After I said that I heard a loud gasp come from inside the house, and I saw Bella flinch.

**BPOV **

I was sitting there listening to Edward go on about how sorry he was for the way he reacted. I understood why he had reacted like that… hell he reacted almost better than I thought he would. But then he said that he was sorry for telling me not to follow him. I felt a twinge in my chest when he said that. It was like my chest was breaking again. My mind went vividly back to the meadow yesterday afternoon. I remembered seeing his angered face, seeing how scared he was… of me. I heard the hate in his voice when he told me to not follow him. I felt my chest shatter again. I didn't want to feel this pain again, but at least I was feeling something.

Jasper ran outside and came over to me. He put his hands on both sides of my face and looked directly into my eyes. "Bella?" he inquired. It was only one word, but I heard all of the questions in that one word. Are you alright? Why are you feeling this again? Where did the pain come from this time? Then he turned and looked at Edward. Of course Edward wouldn't know what was going on. I didn't want the wrath of Jasper on Edward's shoulders. I knew that Jasper would put two and two together to get four. He would understand. He would have felt Edward's… remorse? Jasper crouched in front of Edward.

"NO!" I yelled at him. "You will not hurt Edward. Jasper, at least I'm feeling again… even if it is…"

Edward looked at me quickly with a shocked expression on his face. "You're feeling again? What are you feeling?" Edward asked me. I couldn't tell him that I felt like my insides were burning up, like they were being pulverized into dust.

Jasper looked at Edward and grabbed his hand. I knew what Jasper was going to do and I didn't want Edward to feel like that. I would never wish this pain on anyone, even my most hated enemies. "NO!" I yelled at Jasper again, but it was too late. He had already unleashed the torture onto Edward.

Edward curled up into a ball and fell to the ground. I couldn't watch this. I jumped on Jasper's shoulder and jerked. I didn't want to pull too hard, because if Jasper had a hard grip on Edward's hand it would rip it off. If I pulled too hard, I was afraid I would pull off Jasper's arm as well. I just tugged, but when I touched Jasper, my pain increased two-fold. I was feeling my own emotion, plus the emotion Jasper was putting into Edward. I cried out.

Everything in my sight turned red. I jumped off of Jasper and fell to the ground almost like I had been electrocuted. I hurt everywhere, not just my chest, but my arms, my hands, my fingertips, my legs, my feet, my toes. Everything. It felt like I was being burned alive, or like my skin was being pulled off of my tissues and bones. Everything stopped. Jasper was crouching next to me pushing waves of calm and euphoria over me just to help me get rid of the pain. Edward was on the other side of me rubbing my hand. I knew he couldn't do anything to help me. I was surprised that he was even able to function after the pain Jasper had made him feel.

I looked up into Edward's eyes. He was crying. "Bella, I'm so sorry. Please, please forgive me. I didn't mean to cause you so much hurt and pain. I had no idea I could cause that." Edward said to me. I was starting to feel better now, with Jasper's help.

"Don't worry about it." I said. I didn't want Edward's pity. I couldn't expect him to love me after everything I had told him. I knew he was only apologizing because he actually felt my pain, not because he actually felt sorry.

Jasper picked me up and ran me to my bedroom. We passed by Alice, Rose, and Emmett. They just watched us go upstairs. Jasper put me down on the loveseat in my room and looked at me.

"Bella, Edward has caused you so much anguish in just the short amount of time you've known him. I've felt it, so you can't deny it. Then you stop all emotions, whether intentional or not, they just ceased to exist. Now, he's back again and you feel the same anguish. What exactly did he say to you to make you feel again? To feel the pain again?"

"He was saying he was sorry for what had happened in the meadow. When he said he was sorry for telling me to not… follow him I felt the same pain again. Jazz, I have no idea why I react to him this way. He was just apologizing but I could see us in the meadow again… the anger, and the fright in his eyes. I… I love him, but he doesn't want me… how can he want me? He deserves to have a normal life. A life with a warm bodied woman, children, and grandchildren. I can't provide him that. I know I shouldn't feel this way for him, but it's just so hard. I feel like I'm going crazy."

"I know exactly how you feel Bella. I love Alice so much, but I'm afraid I'm hindering her from living the life she was supposed to live. I can't help that. We crossed paths for a reason, you have to believe that. If you are meant to be together, then everything will work itself out. I felt how Edward feels about you. He's not frightened of you anymore. He is more accepting of everything that he learned. You just need to give him a chance to explain how he feels for you. I'm not going to tell you everything I've felt coming from him, that just isn't the way I work, and you know that. I'm sorry for causing you the pain too. When I felt the pain again coming from you I was afraid that you were going to black out again. I was mad because he was making you feel that way again, so I wanted him to feel that pain. I didn't expect you to grab on to me. I'm glad that you are feeling again. I was really worried about you. Just… give him a chance to explain himself. I'll send him up here so you two can have more privacy."

Edward walked into my room a few minutes later. He looked… sad. Not scared, not mad, but sad. He came and sat next to me on the loveseat and turned to face me.

"I know I told you earlier that I'm sorry, but that's the only thing I can think to say. I never thought I could cause one person so much pain. I didn't mean for it to turn out like this. I felt so drawn to you before, but when you told me everything in the meadow, everything I thought I knew was all a lie. I didn't mean to make you feel that pain. I just needed some time to think. I didn't mean for you to think that I was afraid you were going to hurt me. Even after everything you had told me, I knew… somehow that you wouldn't hurt me. I just keep fucking up. I hate making you feel so much pain. What can I do to make it stop?" He said in anguish.

"I honestly don't know. I… I want you to know how I feel, how I felt yesterday. Not the way Jasper made you feel it. I can't believe he did that. But I want to tell you how I feel. I'm just…scared of how you'll react. I don't want you to turn and run from me again. I don't… think I… I could survive through that again."

There was a knock on the door about that time. I thought we were going to get some privacy, but I guess not. The door opened slowly and it was Alice. She just stuck her head in the doorway and nodded. "Go ahead, Bella. Tell him. Everything will be fine." And then she shut the door.

I couldn't help but laugh. Our whole situation is so fucked up. I feel like I'm living in a crazy house. Once I got myself under control again I got up and started pacing around my room. I guess I got my guarantee that everything would turn out okay, so here goes nothing.

* * *

**EN: haha...another cliffie for ya! :) How do you think Edward will respond to Bella after she tells him how she feels? Let me know what you think!! Til next time!**


	25. Ch 25: Frozen

**AN: Hey everyone!! I hope you all are having a nice start to the weekend!! Much love to my wonderful Beta Jadiona. You should check out her wonderful stories. Just click her in my favorite authors list on my profile. Here is chapter 25. Enjoy!!**

**Disclaimer: I think by now you all know I don't own Twilight. But if not, well...I don't. BUT!!! I did purchase the New Moon Soundtrack yesterday. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 25 – Frozen**

**EPOV**

I couldn't believe the amount of pain Jasper had put into me. It was ten times worse than what he had made me feel the night before. I couldn't believe that I made Bella feel like that I never wanted her feel that type of pain again. Jasper ran Bella into the house, but I just sat outside alone. I couldn't make myself get up and go into the house. I couldn't face the stares of Alice, Rose, and Emmett. I knew they would know something had happened, and I didn't want to hear their questions. I didn't know how to explain it to them. I didn't know how I had caused her so much anguish. I shouldn't be able to make her feel that amount of pain.

Jasper came outside a little bit later and sat next to me. "You need to go up and see Bella. But before you go, you need to know something."

"What?"

"I know how you feel about Bella. I would never tell her what I feel coming from you. That is on you. You have no idea what she feels for you. The pain, yes, you do know, but you can't feel the other side of that. Again, I'm not going to tell you what she feels for you. That is on her. You two need to drop all of the walls that are blocking you both from each other, and just let her know. She's waiting on you. Go to her."

I got up off of the bench and made my way upstairs. I couldn't explain what I felt for Bella. She is so unique. Not just the fact that she is a vampire, but she's a one of a kind girl. I should have seen it in the beginning, but there were… obstacles that were in the way. I just didn't know if she would be able to believe me after everything that has happened. I hoped that I didn't cause her anymore pain, just by being near her. I silently walked by everyone with their piteous stares and made my way upstairs. I got to her door and took a deep breath before knocking.

**BPOV**

I was still pacing around the room, when I heard the knock on the door. "Come in," I said. Edward walked in and said, "Jasper told me to come up here. I hope you don't mind." He kept looking at the floor. Great, Jasper probably forced him up here. I knew that Jasper wanted me to tell Edward how I felt...that maybe this would fix what we were going through. I just hoped that it didn't push him away. I had been trying to get my thoughts all in line in order to explain to him what I felt. I figured I would just jump into it. I was never one to sugar coat things.

"Edward, if I start to freak you out, just tell me. Tell me to stop and I will. I'm just going to start from the beginning.

"When I first met you I knew there was something different about you. Everything else disappeared in front of me, except for you. I… I smelt your blood and it called to me. Vampires sometimes meet their… singers. It's when a human's blood sings to a specific vampire. You were it for me, but it wasn't just your blood. It was like I had known you from before. I wanted nothing but to be with you… in everyway. I felt you pulling me in even from the first day and it just continued to grow. When we kissed outside of the club, I thought that was it.

"I knew then that there would never be anyone else for me. It was so passionate, so perfect. Then the... incident happened at the club. I was crushed. I knew that you believed Tonya over me. Why wouldn't you? You had known her longer, but when you told me to never come around you again, to never talk to you again… that just pushed me over the edge. I had to leave. I wouldn't have been able to keep myself away from you, so I left.

"You know what happened when I left, but you don't know that I couldn't stay in Ireland, because it reminded me of Forks… reminded me of you. When I came back I was sure that you were still so mad at me. It had only been 2 weeks since you had told me to leave you alone… but Alice told me all about what had happened to you and Tonya. I was ready to kill her. She should have never treated you like that. I hurt FOR you, because I knew you would have been crushed because of her. That is probably why I ended up outside your house that night. I have always been drawn to you. You remember the song I sang that night, right? I was so upset, because I knew that you didn't want me before, why should that have changed? Hence, the 'something I can never have'.

"After our dinner after school, I was so happy to take you to the meadow. When we kissed, I never wanted to stop. I was in heaven, it was like everything was starting to fall into place. Everything was becoming perfect finally. But as you know that all changed, rather quickly. When you were frightened of me in the meadow later in the day it crushed me again. I would never hurt you. You are my life. It would have killed me to hurt you. I didn't mean for everything to happen like that. I knew I would have to eventually tell you about me, but not like that. Not thinking that I had killed your brother.

"Emmett was the first person I had ever… bit. I've been a vampire for 40 years, and have always been so proud of my control. I only bit Emmett to save him, for you and Rose mostly. I blacked out after you left me in the meadow… we, meaning vampires, are not supposed to be able to do that. I think it may have been my body's way of protecting me from the pain I was feeling. I can't be sure, but when I came to in Carlisle's office and you were there, I was happy, but also sad. I was happy because you were there, but sad, because I couldn't be sure what you were feeling. I couldn't tell if you were just there because Alice made you come, or what. When you backed away from me, it hurt me all over again. I realize now that I think I made myself stop feeling. I pushed all of the hurt, anger, sadness down inside me, and made it stop. I'll never do that again, because being so empty was horrible. Edward, I don't know if you could pull any information from all of this, but I… I've always felt drawn to you. I've – I've always loved you and wanted you." I ended softly.

He just sat there in a daze it looked like. I was starting to think that Alice's vision was wrong when Edward jumped up and gave me a hug. I felt my heart explode in happiness.

**EPOV**

Bella told me that she loved me. That she's always loved me. I had no idea. It made me so happy. I knew what she was talking about being drawn to one another. I had always felt that pull towards her. I just never knew what it meant. Does this mean that we are meant to be together? If she could feel that much pain because of me, then was she feeling that much love because of me too?

"Oh Isabella! I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. I never wanted to make you feel all of that pain. I feel the pull too. I just never knew what it was, not really. I… I love you too." I was fucking crying. I didn't know if it was some 'vampire pull' or what, but I fucking loved Bella. I've just been too fucking blind to see it before now. She was crying against my chest. I lifted her face up to mine and kissed her with all my heart. I wanted her to know how much I cared about her. I wanted her to know that I would never hurt her again. Everything seemed to finally be falling into place. I pulled back from her and placed a chaste kiss on her lips one last time. We just sat there holding each other for a long while, just basking in the gloriousness of our realization.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

**APOV**

We were sitting in the living room just talking about everything that had happened over the past 24 hours. Obviously we didn't go to school today, because that was the last thing on any of our minds. Jasper wasn't really contributing to our conversation too much. I could tell that he was very worried about Bella… we all were. Finally we started discussing what we were going to do with Emmett. Rose and Jasper didn't feel like it was safe to let Emmett stay in a house full of humans, yet. He may be having exceptional control right now, but what would he do if he were to be completely surrounded by the smell of blood and nothing else? Would he lose control? Would he be fine? I couldn't really tell. There were too many variables to take into consideration. I knew my brother would never intentionally hurt any of our family members, but what would happen if Esme cut her finger with a knife? Oh God, how were we going to pull this off with Esme? We needed to ask Carlisle what he thought, but he was at work pulling a double shift today. Nothing was going to be easy anymore.

I was getting anxious to talk to Bella. I asked Jasper if it would alright if I went upstairs to talk to Bella. He looked toward the stairs and nodded to me. I hadn't been able to really talk to her since yesterday. I walked quickly up the steps and knocked on her door. When I opened it, Bella and Edward were sitting closely together and they finally looked at peace. I squealed and ran over to them. I was just so damn happy that they were okay now. I grabbed them both around the neck and hugged them tightly.

"Edward, can I talk to Bella alone for a bit?" I asked.

"Um… okay, I guess." I could tell that he didn't want to be away from her, so I pulled his arm and dragged him out of her room before shutting the door on him. Bella just sat there giggling. I had missed her laugh. I ran back over to her and jumped on the loveseat.

"Oh Bella, I'm so happy for you!!! I told you everything would work out." I hugged her again.

"I am just glad that I can feel again. That was so uncomfortable not being able to feel any emotions. I hated every minute of it, but I couldn't pull myself out of it. I'm just glad that you brought Edward with you this morning. I don't know if I would have been able to do it by myself. So, thank you." Bella said while kissing me on the cheek.

I knew that, that was my opportunity to bring up the vision I had of her while she was so down. "Bella, um… I don't know if you want to talk about it or not, but I have a question. I had a vision of you sitting outside by yourself… while you were, emotionless. You weren't very clear in the vision, and I heard you singing a song, but I only caught a little bit of it. You didn't sound like yourself. What was going on? What were you singing about?"

"Oh, I was trying to bring my feelings back, but nothing I seemed to do would work. I thought that if I could sing, then I would be able to feel something, but even that didn't work. I know I didn't sound like myself, I didn't even feel like myself. It was horrible, almost like I was just a shell of myself. I don't know if I can even bring the song back. It's just one of those things, you sing about how you're feeling. I'm surprised I could even come up with anything to sing about, since I wasn't feeling anything at all. I guess I could try, but I'm scared. I'm afraid if I put myself back into that place, then I won't feel again. I never want to do that."

"Bella, now that you know how Edward feels about you, and he knows how you feel about him, then how can you go back to feeling nothing? I don't think that could be possible. The song sounded beautiful, but just… off, because you _couldn't_ put any feelings into it. I think you should try it, instead of burying it."

When I said for her to not bury it, she visibly shook. "Okay, I get it. Alice, that's what I had done before. I buried my feelings because it all just hurt so much. I pushed all of my feelings into a place that I couldn't reach them. I will never do that again. I can't."

Bella stood up and walked over to her window and just looked outside. I could see the far away look in her eyes, like she was trying to pull the song out of her memory. Jasper had told me once that vampires have an exceptional memory… almost like an elephant. They never forget.

She started humming and then started the song.

I can't feel my senses  
I just feel the cold  
All colours seem to fade away  
I can't reach my soul

I would stop running  
If I knew there was a chance  
It tears me apart to sacrifice it all  
But I'm forced to let go

Tell me I'm frozen  
But what can I do?  
Can't tell the reasons  
I did it for you

When lies turn into truth  
I sacrifice for you  
You say that I am frozen  
But what can I do?

I can feel your sorrow  
You won't forgive me  
But I know you'll be alright  
It tears me apart that you will never know  
But I have to let go

Tell me I'm frozen  
But what can I do?  
Can't tell the reasons  
I did it for you

When lies turn into truth  
I sacrifice for you  
You say that I am frozen  
But what can I do?

Everything will slip away  
Shattered pieces will remain  
When memories fade into emptiness  
Only time will tell its tale  
If it all has been in vain

I can't feel my senses  
I just feel the cold

Frozen  
But what can I do?  
Frozen

Tell me I'm frozen  
But what can I do?  
Can't tell the reasons  
I did it for you

When lies turn into truth  
I sacrifice for you  
You say that I am frozen  
Frozen

I couldn't believe how sad the song sounded. She really poured all of her feelings into singing it. She never once turned around the whole time she sang it, almost like she was in her own little world. Apparently she heard something because she turned around quickly and ran to the door. When she opened the door, Edward was sitting in front of the door with his head in his hands between his knees.

* * *

**EN: So what did you think? They are in looooove. lol Hopefully that makes you happy MagikDragon. ;) Thanks for reading, now all you have to do is click the little green button at the bottom...it makes Edward veerrry happy. :) Oh and the lyrics are for Frozen by: Within Temptation...link to song is on my profile. Til next time!!**


	26. Ch 26: Conversation

**A/N: Wow! I had the most hits ever yesterday!! Thank you very fucking much!! I'm now at 123 reviews!! Thank you again!! :) I'm sorry some of you are having a hard time with Edward and Bella's attitudes, but that's just the way I see them. Edward may be a douche, but it's only cause he is having a hard time figuring out how he feels about Bella...he knows there's something there, but it just took a while for him to figure it out. Bella, well, she may seem like a pussy for forgiving him so easily, but she knows how she feels about him. She loves him...he can do no wrong. You know how that goes with your first love. :) I just thought I'd give a little insight into why they are acting like they do...it gets better...especially in this chapter. :) I have a warning..some lemony goodness is featured toward the end of this chapter, so if you aren't old enough...DON'T READ IT! :) It's rated M for a reason. lol Thanks so much for my fucking awesome Beta Jadiona. Shes just great!!! **

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine...it's Stephanie Meyers, BUT!! I did pre-order my tickets for the movie!! Midnight showing here I come!! WOOHOO**

**Sorry for the long note. **

* * *

Chapter 26 - Conversation

**EPOV**

When Alice pushed me out of Bella's room I was scared. I don't know why I became scared. It was irrational to fear being away from Bella. I knew that we wouldn't be able to be together 24 hours a day, seven days a week, but I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. I wanted to make up for being such an ass the whole time I'd been around her. I needed to make up for it. I started to go down the steps, but I stopped myself. I wanted to know what they were talking about. I leaned against the door quietly to try and hear what was said. I knew that Alice would never say anything really bad about me, but she knew all about my sex-capade with Tonya, and I didn't want Bella to hear about all of the details. I felt almost stalker-ish doing this, but at least I was still close to Bella.

I could hardly hear anything, because they were talking in low voices. I was almost afraid that they knew I was standing out here trying to listen in. Then it got really quiet. I stepped back from the door almost afraid that they were going to be coming out, but then I heard more murmurs. I put my ear next to the door again and I heard Bella singing. Why would she be singing to Alice? That is just weird, but I could hear what she was singing clearly. Her singing voice carried more than her talking voice. It was so beautiful. I listened to the words.

'Tell me I'm frozen, But what can I do? Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you'. I knew exactly what she was singing about. 'Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you'; her changing Emmett… for me.

'Tell me I'm frozen, but what can I do?' that had to be about her lack of emotions.

'I can feel your sorrow, You won't forgive me, But I know you'll be alright'; had to be about when she told me she was a vampire, she was afraid I wouldn't forgive her for what she did; for what she was.

'It tears me apart that you will never know, But I have to let go', she hadn't planned on telling me that she loved me, and was going to let me go on with my life.

I couldn't imagine what would have happened to us if she hadn't told me that she loved me. I definitely never would have known. I fell to the ground. I had almost completely fucked this whole thing up. How could she love me? I was a fuck up… everything I touched became fucked up. Then I heard the door open.

**BPOV**

Edward was sitting on the floor outside of my bedroom. He kept running his hands through his mussed up bronze locks. I knelt down to him and pulled him into a hug. I knew why he was acting like this. He had heard my singing. He must have known everything that I was singing about. I wanted to make him know that I didn't feel like that anymore. He grabbed my shoulders and looked deeply into my eyes like he was searching for something.

"Bella, I am so fucking sorry. Please, know that I didn't mean…"

I shushed him. I knew he was sorry, I was sorry too. We both made mistakes, but I wanted to get past that. I pressed my lips to his. "Don't worry about it Edward. It's over with and done. We know how we feel about each other now. That song was for before. Alice had a vision of me singing that song and wanted to hear the rest of it. It has nothing to do with now. I love you." I couldn't get over that I was able to tell him that now. We had been through so much, that it seemed almost impossible. Yeah, we both fucked up, but what can you do? You can't go back and change things. Shit happens for a reason.

Alice had left when I bent down to Edward. She knew that we still needed time together, alone. I walked with Edward back into my room. We just sat quietly for a couple of minutes and I was starting to wonder what Edward was thinking about. "What is on your mind, Edward?"

"Everything. It's just crazy that this time yesterday, well, I fucked everything up, you know? I had just found out that you were a… vampire, but now 24 hours later I still don't know much more than that. I want to know about your history. Like how old are you really? Where are you originally from? I want to know everything about you that I can."

"I'm originally from Astoria, Oregon. I was born 58 years ago. I was changed when I was 18 years old. Carlisle saved me, like I saved Emmett. I had been shopping with my mom in Portland, Oregon, but we got lost. Apparently from what Carlisle has told me, we were attacked by a vampire. I don't know who he was, or even if he is still around. He killed my mother, and then moved on to me. I was so scared, then somehow, my 'ability'…"

Edward interrupted me and asked, "Wait… what ability?"

I just laughed. There was so much he didn't know about me. "I have a special ability. Like how Jasper can feel and project emotions or Rosalie can basically get her way with anything with the flash of her smile. I am what they call a shield. I can block physical attacks with my shield. It is transparent, so no one can see it. Apparently when I was attacked by the vampire in Oregon, my subconscious made my shield stronger. The vampire completely lost me, even though I was laying right there on the ground. He couldn't see me, nor smell me. I was invisible to him. The police found me and took me to the hospital. Luckily, Carlisle was working that night. I don't think I would have survived throughout the night. Carlisle could sense something special about me, and decided to change me. He has been my father for the past forty years. Carlisle, Rosalie, Jasper and I have been together since I was changed. We have lived in Alaska, Maine, Ireland, and now Forks. So, I think I answered the questions you asked. Are there any more?"

"Oh, just about a hundred more, but they can wait. I'm just glad that we are able to talk openly now. Oh… wait! Now I completely get it. You told me at the diner that you could take care of yourself… ha! Now, I can see it. I thought that maybe you were like a black belt in karate or something. Wow… but if you're so powerful, how did you get kidnapped in Italy?"

Oh, this was going to be a long story. "How about I tell you that story sometime later? It's getting late. You and Alice should probably be getting home, right?"

Just then it hit me… what about Emmett? We went downstairs to see that the rest of the family were sitting around the dining room table and Carlisle was home. I thought that he was working a double shift today.

"What's going on guys?" I asked.

"Esme… she's frantic. We're discussing about how to handle the situation." Carlisle said.

I could tell that he was very upset. I knew he had the same feelings for Esme, that I had for Edward, that Jasper had for Alice, and that Rosalie had for Emmett. "What do you mean she's frantic? What happened?"

"Apparently, the guys that went hunting with Emmett yesterday went to school today and noticed that Emmett wasn't there. They started freaking out about what happened, and the school called Esme to find out where Emmett was. We told her last night that Emmett was supposed to be staying over here last night, so she thought he was safe. Now what are we going to do?" Alice said.

Great, more problems. "Alice, did you tell Esme that you saw Emmett here?"

"Ummm… I don't remember. I don't think I said we saw him, did I Edward?"

Edward just shook his head. Okay that we can work with. "Well, if you didn't tell her that you saw him here, we are in the clear. Carlisle, what do you think? Should we fill Esme in on our little secret? How else can we explain about Emmett?" I asked.

"Bella, I don't know. I don't know if I want Esme to know about us. She might not handle it as well as her kids. I… I think we should act like we know nothing about Emmett and his whereabouts." Carlisle said looking at the tabletop.

"How can you not tell my mom about Emmett? Are you just going to let her think that her son is dead? How is that better than telling her he is still alive, but not the same? She's stronger than you think she is Dr. Cullen. You just have to give her a chance." Edward spouted off. I knew he was thinking about Esme, but he didn't realize that if she didn't take the news well, she may end up telling the wrong people. He didn't know vampires weren't allowed to tell humans about us. He had no idea about our 'rules'.

I put my arm around his shoulders and said softly, "Edward, what if she doesn't take the news well? You do realize what will happen right? We will have to leave. If other's found out about us, we wouldn't be able to stay here. Why do you think we move around so much? When you don't age, you can't exactly stay in one spot for too long. It may be best for Esme to not know about us, at least for the time being."

"So, I'm supposed to lie to her? The lady that took me into her house and made it my home? The lady that I now call mom? I have to tell her, that her other son is dead? I just don't see how it is better than just telling her about you guys." He said.

Alice spoke up, "Edward, they're right. Esme won't handle them being vampires well, _at all_. I've seen it. When we tell her, she won't believe it at first, but then she tries to keep us away from them. She'll think that they're dangerous. She'll only see them as taking her one son away from her, and she will want to keep me and you safe from them. I know that I don't want to be kept from Jasper… do you want to be kept away from Bella?"

Edward flinched at that. "No, I don't. Not now." He said.

Alice said, "Okay. This is how it's going to work out. We aren't going to tell her that he's dead. Obviously we won't have a body to produce, so we will just say that he's missing, act like he may have gotten lost. We can try and work up to telling her about vampires. I think that will work."

Emmett just sat there the whole time not saying much of anything. I could tell that something was bothering him. "What is it Emmett?"

"So, I can't see Esme ever again?" he said sadly.

"Just for a while, until we can tell her about us. It will be okay, I promise," I said to him. I just hoped that I could keep that promise.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

Esme called Carlisle a little bit after our conversation. I knew he hated to lie to her too, but I also knew he was worried about what would happen if we told her about us. Carlisle told her that he hadn't seen Emmett since Sunday. He told her that he had asked us and we had said that we hadn't seen him since Monday after school, when he went hunting with his friends. Emmett wouldn't stay in the house while Esme was on the phone. He and Rosalie went out hunting near the house.

Edward and Alice went home to deal with Esme from their side. I knew it wasn't going to be easy on them, but hopefully they will hold strong with knowing it was for the best for now.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

**EPOV**

When Alice and I got home from the Cullen's house she lit into us.

"Where the hell have you two been? Why the hell didn't you tell me about Emmett? You knew! And you didn't tell me! How can you two do this to me?" she sobbed.

Alice ran over to her when she broke down. "Oh Mom, we have been out looking for him. We were hoping that maybe he just got lost and we would find him before you found out. The Cullen's even took off from school today to help us look for him. Please don't be mad at us. We just didn't want you to get upset. We're sorry."

I just stood there watching the whole scene play out in front of me. Alice could win a fucking Oscar for the performance she just put on. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to do. I wouldn't be able to act as well as she did. I just walked over and helped move Esme to the couch. "We are sorry, Mom. We are going to keep looking for him until we find him. Don't worry about it." I said to her.

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "But what about until we find him? He's all alone out in the woods, or God knows where. How can we just sit here and wait? What if he's hurt? What if the bear… oh God!" She got up and ran to the bathroom and got sick. She was thinking about the bear and if it had gotten to him. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran upstairs. I admit it, I was a fucking coward. I couldn't handle the pressure. I didn't want to see my mom like that, knowing we could tell her he was safe and sound. That he was alive… well, as alive as he could be. At least he wasn't dead. She was going to be playing all types of scenarios in her head. I didn't want her to have to go through that.

Once I got to my bedroom I slammed the door shut and leaned my head against it. "Edward?" I whirled around and saw Bella sitting on my bed.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered to her.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. I know you didn't want to lie to her, but it is the best for now. So, how are you?"

"You ask me how I am, but you don't ask about Esme?" I asked her incredulously.

"I heard how she took it. I know it's going to be a tough couple of days, but you just have to stay strong in knowing that Emmett is okay. You have to keep reassuring her of that until we can tell her the truth. It will get better Edward, I promise. Just trust me."

I did trust her. I just didn't want my mom to go through so much pain for nothing. I wanted her to know for a fact that he was well. I could only nod. I needed to get my mind off of what my mom was going through downstairs. I walked over to the bed and sat next to Bella. I needed to be close to her. She would be the only thing to get me through this. I grabbed her hand and kissed it. She shivered a little bit at that. "What?" I asked her. I wanted to know what she was thinking.

"You're lips are like fire on my skin. They constantly amaze me at how warm they are."

I looked up at her face and she seemed to be embarrassed. I was amazed that such a beautiful creature should be able to become embarrassed. I reached up and put my hand behind her head and pulled her closer to me. I placed my lips gently against hers. She sighed against me and her scent was tantalizing. I ran my tongue against her lower lip seeking access.

She shivered again and parted her lips. I ran my tongue against the inside of her lip. She tasted like strawberries. I would never be able to get enough of her scent, her taste, her feel. She was like a drug to me. I only craved more. I was caressing her neck while our kissing increased. My other hand acted like it had a mind of its own. It ran up and down her side, then slowly crept up to her chest. I started palming her breast. It was perfect… it fit perfectly in my hand. She moaned against me and my dick hardened instantly. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I could feel her hard nipple beneath her shirt and bra.

I moved my hand to the bottom of her shirt and she whimpered at the loss of contact. I planned on remedying that situation fast. I ran my hand along her ribs, which were ice cold. Moving as slow as I could my hand met the underneath of her bra. I could feel the lace and sheer material that was between my hand and her chest. I brushed my fingertips along the swell and she moaned again. I could feel her more pronounced nipple straining against the fabric of the bra. I ran my finger across her nipple and she jerked and sighed again. I leaned her back on the bed and leaned over her without breaking our contact. I wanted her like I had never wanted any other. She was it for me.

I kept palming her breast through her bra, but it still wasn't enough for me. I pulled her bra to the side and started fingering her nipple. I would pluck it, pull it, and twist it between my fingers. I wanted to taste it. I lifted her shirt and quickly pulled her nipple into my mouth. It was almost like sucking on an ice cube. Her back rose off the bed and she groaned underneath me. I could feel the vibration from her chest. She quickly flipped me over on my back, which surprised me at the abruptness of it. I looked in her eyes and they were almost black. She started kissing me harder almost bruising my lips, but then I felt the most incredible feeling in the world. She was lying on top of me with her thigh brushing up against my cock. I was frantic for the friction. I pushed my hips up into hers and she purred. That was the sexiest sound I had ever heard. It almost pushed me over the edge. She had her hands running through my hair while I grabbed her ass. Everything about this girl was perfect, her ass, her breasts. I couldn't get enough of her. I wanted her fully and completely. I ran my hands under her shirt and rubbed her lower back. She arched against me and caused the most delicious friction against my dick. I flipped her back over and started kissing down the side of her neck. She kept arching up off of the bed against me.

"Oh Edward…" she purred, "you're so warm. I can't take it anymore."

I didn't know exactly what she wanted. I didn't know if she wanted me to stop or to keep going. She didn't push me off of her, so I figured it was okay to keep going. I was rubbing little circles across her flat stomach and slowly made my way down to the edge of her pants. I slipped my hand inside of her pants and could feel that she wasn't wearing any underwear. "Shit, Bella, you're going to be the death of me." I growled at her. As well as not wearing any underwear, she was bare. I almost lost my shit right there. Just thinking about her not wearing anything under her pants and it being bare, I could just imagine the beauty of it. My hand made its way near her center and found it just as ice cold as the rest of her body. She was soaking wet…for me. I placed my fingers along her folds and just rubbed. I was afraid I was taking it way to far for her. I didn't know if she was a virgin or not. I mean, yeah, she's what…58 years old, but I still knew next to nothing about her. I kept kissing her neck and along her chest, running my tongue over every surface I could reach. I rubbed her clit and she growled. I was having so much fun exploring her body that I didn't realize she had completely stilled. I looked up at her face and her eyes were closed. "Bella?" I was asking for permission to continue. I didn't want to do anything she would regret later.

She opened her eyes about halfway and looked at me. "Edward…"she moaned. I put more pressure against her clit while watching her face. She moaned louder and jerked. I slowly put one finger inside of her and she shivered. "Oh god!" she purred. I added another finger, to her already tight pussy. She was so fucking wet. I moved her shirt and bra out of the way and started kissing and licking her breasts while I finger-fucked her. I ran my teeth over her nipple. She was starting to tighten up. I could tell she was getting close to her climax. I wanted her to scream my name when she reached her orgasm. I wanted her to be mine, fully. I kept fucking her with my fingers, while playing with her clit and nibbling on her nipples. She started shaking and moaning louder. "Oh…god…Edward…I'm going to…ahh!" she said while she came.

She finally stopped shaking, but continued to breath heavily. I slowly pulled my fingers out from inside her and she shivered again. I had to do it, I had to know how she tasted. I put my fingers in my mouth. I moaned loudly when the taste hit my tongue. It was like the most exquisite tasting champagne, with a hint of strawberries. I was in fucking heaven! I looked down at Bella, and she was just staring at me with the hooded look of post-coital bliss, but something else was in her eyes. She growled at me and flipped me over on my back again before I could even blink. "Do I taste good, Edward?"

I gulped, "Y… Yes."

"Oh, so you are the only one to get a taste? Is that how it is?" she asked, sounding mad.

"Uh… no?" I said. I didn't know how to answer that. Then she crouched over me and started kissing me. I knew she would be able to still taste herself on my lips. She licked around my mouth and then moved to my neck. "Do you trust me?" she asked.

"Y… yes, I trust you." I said sounding more scared than I actually felt. She ran her hands down my chest and across my abdomen. Then slowly made her way to the buttons on my pants. She was moving slowly down my body and then I knew. Holy shit!! She started unbuttoning my pants, when I said, "Bella, you don't have…" She glared up at me. "Yes, I do Edward. I have to taste you. I want to taste you." Then she went back to work on my pants, pulling them down my thighs. My cock was bulging against my boxer briefs. I was so hard, it hurt. I knew I needed a release, but I didn't expect her to give it to me. She slowly started rubbing me through my underwear. I could feel the coolness from her hand seeping through to my cock and it felt incredible. I shivered, but I wasn't cold. She released my dick from the confines of my briefs and let it hang out there. She was staring at it and licking her lips. "Edward, whatever you feel you have to do… do NOT move. That is all I am asking you. This could be… dangerous. Okay?" She asked me.

"Yeah, okay." I said stupidly. I really hoped I could keep myself from moving. I didn't know what she meant by this being dangerous, but if she said it was, then it must be.

She placed her hand around my manhood and started stroking it up and down. It felt fucking awesome. I leaned my head back against the pillows on my bed. I was still angled up enough to where I could see what she was doing. She placed her lips against the tip of my cock, and it felt like an electric current ran up my shaft and straight into my gut. I stopped myself from jerking though. She was looking up at me through her eyelashes. I knew I wouldn't be able to last long… she was just too fucking sexy. "Oooohhh ggodd." I moaned as she ran her tongue from the base of my cock up to the head. She slowly shut her eyes as she sucked the head into her mouth.

It felt in-fucking-credible. The coolness of her mouth on my cock was just perfect. She slowly made her way down the shaft until she had almost the whole thing in her mouth. I felt the tip hit the back of her throat. She just looked up at me with wide eyes. I couldn't help but feel proud. I knew I had a pretty big dick, but never really thought anything about it. It was just there… a part of me. She closed her eyes and I felt her take a little bit more into her mouth. I couldn't believe it… she was trying to take the whole thing. I didn't know if she could do it or not, but at least she was giving it a go. She must have realized she couldn't completely take me, so she started moving up and down the length while swirling her tongue around the tip when it was almost out.

She wrapped her hand around the base of my cock and started moving it up and down in time with her mouth. Watching her sucking my dick was enough for me. "Oh god, Bella. I'm going to cum." She never once let up. She just kept sucking and pumping with vigor, until I felt my cock start to twitch. Then she slowed and sucked even harder, til I came violently in her mouth. I had never had an orgasm that explosive in my life. I felt horrible that I had cum in her mouth; I knew that most girls didn't like that shit, but I warned her.

She kept her eyes trained on me, and slowly licked the tip of my cock making sure to get all of the cum. Then she shifted until she was in a sitting position and licked her fucking lips and made an 'mmm' noise. "You taste… like perfection." I couldn't help it. I laughed, because that was exactly how she tasted to me, so I told her so and she started giggling with me. We laid on my bed wrapped around each other. I couldn't believe we had just done that. After everything that happened during this day, that was the last thing I expected to happen. She laid next to me, rubbing my hair and humming the song she had sang the other day in choir class to my piano music. We were definitely good enough.

* * *

**E/N: Whew! That was a long chapter...I think my longest yet! For that I think I need a couple more reviews...especially since I just posted yesterday! :) Thanks for reading, and don't forget to click the cute green button at the bottom. :) Til next time!! **


	27. Ch 27: Vampire

**A/N: Hey readers!! Thanks so much for the reviews and alerts!! :) I hope you're liking the story. This is a very short chapter...sorry...if your good I'll post again tomorrow. :) **

**Special thanks to my beta Jadiona, for working with me during my times of stress and anger. :) **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight...it probably wouldn't have been as popular if I had written it. :)**

* * *

Chapter 27 – Vampire

**BPOV**

Oh my god, I couldn't believe what we had just done. It was so unbelievably perfect. He was perfect. Everything about our relationship just did a 180. We were going to be just friends, but now… I had no fucking clue what we were. I definitely did not expect for things to happen like they did. I knew he would be worried about Esme. That was the whole reason for me to come over here, to make sure that he was okay… that he could handle lying to his 'Mom'. I knew he would be upset when I heard everything that went on downstairs. I just hoped that Esme could hold herself together until we were able to fully let her know what was really going on. She sounded horrible.

When he walked into his room, Edward looked just about as bad as Esme sounded. I hated for him to be put through this, but it had to be done. Then it was like he completely changed. I didn't expect for him to start kissing me, he did. I didn't expect for him to start touching me. He was the first human to touch me like that. It was… indescribable. His touches and kisses were like fire on my skin. Everything happened so fast, that I couldn't stop myself. I could smell his blood rushing to his cock. I knew he wanted me. I just couldn't believe it. I was so overthrown by the physical lust, that the blood lust didn't even bother me…that much. I had to lay quietly for a minute to put that part of me in check. I would not hurt this man. I could not hurt this man. I loved him… he was my other half. I would never be whole if anything happened to him.

Then when he…put his hand down my pants I almost lost it right then and there. The fire so close to my core, it burned up the remaining blood lust I was feeling. I couldn't believe that a human could bring me to climax. I didn't really know how that would work with my body being so much like a rock, but god, did it work. When he put his fingers in his mouth I admit I was a little bit pissed. Not mad that he had done it, but mad because I wanted to do the same thing to him. I wanted to taste him, but not his blood. What I did next, well… I should never have done that. It could have turned out so much worse. I could have nicked him with my razor sharp teeth, or lost control of the blood lust monster within me. Thankfully that didn't happen and I got to taste him. The taste of him was so delicious; I never wanted to stop drinking from him. It was the first time in my whole life that I had tasted a man like that. I could live off of it for the rest of my existence. Everything about this man was so incredible; his body, his smell, his taste. I would never be able to get enough of him.

We were still lying in his bed. He was sleeping while I hummed to him. Looking down into his face while he slept was another form of heaven to me. I loved watching him sleep. His face was so soft and serene in the moonlight. His eyebrows would quirk, or his mouth would almost turn into a smile. It was amazing watching all of these emotions flicker across his face. He was my life now. I would do anything and everything in my power to keep him safe and happy. Nothing would come between us.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Once daylight broke through his window, I kissed him gently on his forehead and wrote a quick note to him. "Gone hunting. Call when you wake up. I love you ~Isabella"

I jumped out of his window and went to hunt on my way home. Once I got there, Carlisle was lounging in the recliner alone in the living room. He looked so sad and worried.

"Bella, am I doing the right thing?" he asked.

"Dad, you know it has to be this way for now. We will eventually be able to tell her about us, but you heard Alice, she isn't ready for it yet. We just have to give her more time to be able to bring her around to the idea of us."

"But how am I supposed to 'bring her around to the idea'? Do you suggest I take her to see Dracula? Or maybe those new movies, what are they called, hmm, oh right, the 'Underworld' series. Is that how I'm supposed to do it, Bella?" he asked sarcastically.

"I don't know Dad. We'll come up with something. Maybe Alice will be able to shed some light on the situation." I said, trying to placate my father.

Carlisle's cell phone rang and he picked it up, "Hello?"

I could hear Esme on the other line. "Carlisle, I really hate to do this, but… do you think you could come out and help with the search for Emmett? We have some people from town and even some out-of-towner's coming to help with the search. I really need you."

She sounded so lost and full of grief. I knew this was going to be tough on everyone. She was such a loving woman, and we were putting her through this torture. I really hoped that we were doing the right thing. Carlisle told her that we would meet them in front of their house with the rest of the search party in about an hour or so.

Edward called me right after Esme hung up with Carlisle. He sounded almost as bad as Esme did.

"Bella, mom told me that you guys are going to come help with the search party. I feel horrible that all of these people are coming out here to look for Emmett, when we know exactly where he is. I just feel like we're taking advantage of all of these people. They are giving up their time to look for someone that's lost. Did you know that Mom called in favors to some of the people she used to know from college? There are people coming from as far away as Oregon. I just feel like this is getting way out of hand."

"I know… I know. Just calm down. We have to do this, it will get better. Carlisle and I were just talking about how to gently bring Esme into this. We are drawing a blank right now, but maybe you or Alice can give us some ideas. We'll be there to help with the search. Rose and Emmett are obviously going to stay home. If you don't feel comfortable with leading Esme on this way, we could always plant some of Emmett's clothes from the bear attack in the woods near where they were hunting, but it's up to you and Alice. Would she rather him be missing or dead? Would YOU rather her think he's missing or dead?" I hated to be a bitch like that to Edward, but I was starting to get worried that he would blow the whistle, so to speak. I didn't really want to take that chance.

Edward just sat there for a few minutes and didn't say anything. "Edward?"

"I'm fucking thinking. Give me a minute."

I was afraid that I had pushed him too far, and then he said, "Just bring the clothes with you. If it gets to be too much, then we'll plant the clothes."

"Okay, we'll bring them. Just be calm, everything will work itself out soon. Don't worry."

"Why did you leave this morning?" he asked softly.

"Well, I heard Esme up and about. I was afraid that she would come in to check on you, so I thought it would be best to leave before she came in. Or would you rather she had seen me in your bed?" I said with a little giggle.

"Okay, that makes sense. I was almost afraid the whole thing was a dream, until I saw your note. By the way, I love you too." I couldn't help the huge smile that grew across my face. I would never tire of hearing those words come from his mouth.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Carlisle, Jasper, and I pulled up in front of the Masen's house to see about 10 vehicles parked in her driveway and on the street. There were so many people in this town that would do anything for each other. I liked that about this area. People looked out for their own. We got out of Carlisle's Mercedes and started walking up the driveway when I smelled something familiar. I hadn't had a whiff of that scent in 40 years. Carlisle must have smelled it too. He quickly looked over at me. I couldn't believe it. I remembered that smell so well. It was embedded in my brain from the dark alleyway; my mother lying bleeding on the dank concrete. I never thought I would smell this scent again. I knew I would have to find out who it was… the vampire that had killed my mother and tried to kill me.

* * *

**E/N: Well..what do you think? Sorry for the cliffie! Oh wait...no I'm not. HA HA HA!! Please review and I'll post the next chapter as soon as I can...tomorrow. :) Til next time!**


	28. Ch 28: Attacked

**AN: Well, I told you that I would post the next chapter soon. Is this soon enough for you? ^.^ I won't waste your time with my ramblings...just the standard stuff. Jadiona, you are the bestest Beta...you work so fast! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do however have a bad case of the bitchyness this week. ;) **

* * *

Chapter 28 - Attacked

**CPOV**

I'm pretty sure that Bella smelled the same thing I did. I smelled this on Bella in the hospital when I found her, the smell of another vampire. I could tell that Jasper smelled it as well, but he didn't know that we had smelled this one before. This was not good at all. I couldn't tell exactly where the scent was coming from. It could have been from the forest or from the group of people gathered to find Emmett. Bella was getting aggravated so, I quickly pulled her back in the car and Jasper followed behind us.

"Carlisle, we have to find him. I have to know who this vampire is… why he chose me and my mother. I can't let him go." Bella said heatedly.

"What are you talking about? You know this vampire?" Jasper asked.

I quickly filled him in on the situation. "Jasper, this vampire is the one who killed Bella's mother… the one that tried to kill her. I caught his scent on Bella's clothes when they brought her in to the hospital. Could you tell where the scent was coming from? I couldn't tell if it was from the woods in general or if it was from the search party."

Jasper got back out of the car while Bella and I waited. He came back and said he was pretty sure it was just in the woods. He must just be roaming around trying to find a meal. That would not be good if he decided to kill members of the search party. "Jasper and Bella, you will go search for him. I have to stick close to Esme, and I will make sure Edward and Alice are near us to keep watch on them. You have to find him before he attacks anyone."

**BPOV**

I was ready for it. I needed to find this mother fucker. He would not hurt any of the people from this town. I wouldn't let him. This vampire will not make it out of here alive if I find him. Jasper argued a little bit with Carlisle about leaving Alice but Carlisle shut him down quick. Carlisle did not want me to face this vampire by myself, even though I knew I would be able to take care of myself.

We got out of the car and joined the search party. Jasper pulled Alice to his side and told her the situation while I did the same to Edward. "There is a vampire in the woods near here. You have to keep your mother and Alice safe, Carlisle will stay with you three. Jasper and I are going to find him. We are afraid that he will try to attack someone from the search party since they will be all over the place. Please, just stay close to Carlisle. If the vampire comes close to you, Carlisle will handle it. Don't do anything stupid."

"No, you can't go after him. What if he hurts you? I couldn't live with that. You have to stay with me." Edward told me with a worried look on his face.

"Edward, I can handle myself. Plus I will have Jasper with me. You have to make sure that Alice and Esme are safe. You have to help Carlisle." I knew he wouldn't be a match against the vampire, but I wanted him to feel useful so he didn't go off on a search by himself. "Please, just stick with Carlisle. It will be safer for all involved if Jasper and I can worry only about the vampire and not have to worry about you and Alice. Please, just do this for me."

He finally nodded his acquiescence. I grabbed him on both sides of his face and kissed him for all he was worth. I didn't know what the outcome of this was going to be. I wanted to make sure I had at least one more kiss from Edward, just in case. I guess he could feel the heat in my kiss and he deepened it along with me. I didn't want to lose him now that I had just got him… I didn't want him to lose me either. I could only hope for the best.

Finally the search party dispersed throughout the forest. Jasper and I took off in a direction that no one else would be taking. Once we were sure that no humans could see us, we took off in the direction of the scent. Once we got into the woods, we could distinctly tell where he had been. We just had to hurry and catch up with him before he wreaked any havoc on the unsuspecting people of Forks. We finally caught a fresh scent about 15 minutes into our searching. I was glad that Jasper was with me, he had plenty of fighting and tracking experience from his years living in Mexico. He didn't like to talk about those times too much, but I got the gist of it. He was a fighter for a vampire army in Mexico that only lived to take control of the area from other vampires.

We could tell that the rogue vampire had been close to the meeting site where the searchers had convened earlier in the morning. We followed him in circles for a while. It was like he knew we would be looking for him and that had me worried. Had he seen me from the woods? Would he even remember me? I so wanted revenge on this mother fucker. He was going to die a painful death for killing my mother… for stealing my innocence.

Jasper and I caught a new fresher trail and took off as fast as we could go. Finally we caught up with him. He was crouched in some brush watching a few members of the search party. He either heard us or smelled us and jumped up at us. Once he saw me he just smirked and cocked his head to the side. "So, we meet again little one. You left so abruptly the last time we met. I don't know how you did it, but you got away from me… and now look at you. You are one of us. Aren't you special? How did you turn? I didn't have the pleasure of biting you. I wanted to have a little fun before I finished you off." Jasper was crouched down snarling and growling at the nomad.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you to not play with your food?" I asked him.

He let out a hearty laugh. "Oh you are a little spit-fire aren't you? What did you're mother teach you?" He said with a snarl. When he mentioned my mother my whole vision went red. I couldn't make a comment before he started again saying, "Why don't you join me and come travel with me? You can be my mate, my name is James. Come on, we could have some fun. More fun than you and blondie here do. I'll make sure that your eyes are as red as mine… I've met very few vampires along the way that feed on animals." He gagged. "I don't see how you stomach that retched stuff. Human blood is so much better." He said.

"I will never be your mate," I spat at him, "You killed my mother, you son-of-a-bitch." He crouched in front of me and snarled, "You will be my mate before this is over…or maybe I'll take the little pixie of a girl that I saw earlier. She smelled delightful."

He must have seen us earlier at the meeting place. How could he have picked Alice out of all of those people, unless he had seen Jasper with her.

I held Jasper back. I knew he was ready to attack, since this guy decided to bring up Alice. "No, you will not touch her. You won't make it out of these woods alive. You will pay for what you did to me… to my mother." I snarled at him. I put my shield up full force around Jasper and me. I was prepared to take the attack he was getting ready to bring down on us, but he never did. He must have been weighing his options, so I decided to take my chance. I pulled my shield close around myself and jumped on him. He was ready for my attack as well, and threw me against a large redwood tree. The wood splintered and rained down on me, while I righted myself, he ran at me full speed and grabbed me around the neck, but Jasper bit into his arm making him lose his grip on me. I jumped back on the nomad's back and bit into his neck, but he again threw me off. I had no experience fighting. I never had a reason to learn. When I was down, he must have gotten away from Jasper and pounced on me. He bit hard into my forearm. The pain was searing, almost like when I had been changed. I screamed and Jasper threw him off of me. While Jasper was checking on me to make sure I was okay, James took off. We tried to catch him, but I was in so much pain I couldn't run as fast I wanted to.

We went back to our house to call Carlisle and tell him what had happened. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Edward were back at the house in 30 minutes. We made sure to hide Rose and Emmett in her room, before they got here. I knew Carlisle wouldn't be able to run as fast as he wanted to. I went up to my room. I didn't want Esme asking questions, so Jasper told them that I had sprained my ankle out in the woods. Esme, Alice, and Edward all stayed downstairs while Carlisle came to check on me.

"Isabella, honey, are you okay?" he asked while checking my arm.

"I'm feeling better now, but it was almost as bad as when I was changed. I couldn't force myself to go any faster to find him. I'm so sorry." I cried.

"Honey, when another vampire's venom enters our veins it's almost like a fight happens between our venom and the others. You should be fine, but you will now have a scar on your arm. It should be healed before the end of the day. We will just have to wrap it up. We are just lucky that, that was the only injury. We will find him, don't worry. So, what exactly happened?"

I told Carlisle about our encounter with James and how he had thrown me off of his back into the tree. "Dad, I think when I hit the tree something happened to my shield. I never expected him to bite me. I thought I had my shield up around me, but it must have backed off when I hit the tree. I guess I wasn't paying close enough attention. All I could think about was wanting him dead."

"Well, I'm sure it's nothing. You probably just lost your concentration on your shield when you hit the tree. I wouldn't worry about it for now. When we confront him again you just need to make sure you are able to concentrate on the shield when you or he attacks. Bella, um, Edward wants to see you. Do you want to come down, or have him come up here?"

"Send him up here please?" Carlisle gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and got up to walk out of the room. I spoke again,"Dad?"

"Yeah honey?" he said turning away from the door.

"I love you. I know I don't say it enough, but I do. I want to also thank you for taking care of me… when I was changed, through everything… thank you."

"Oh dear, it was my pleasure. I'm glad that I decided to change you, you have been a constant delight in my life. Well, maybe not constant, but close enough," he said with a smirk, "I love you too. More than you know. Now, I will send up that strapping young man to take care of you. If you feel like you want to come down, make sure you wrap up that ankle." He said with a wink.

I just laughed at him. He was probably the world's coolest dad.

Edward came running up the stairs. I laughed when he got to the door out of breath. "Oh Bella!!! Are you okay? What the hell happened? No one can say anything!" He practically yelled.

"Shhh… shhh… I'm fine. Just an unfortunate accident." Edward ran over to me and sat on the floor in front of me while I sat on the loveseat. He grabbed my good hand and started kissing it. "What happened?" he said softly.

So I told him about the fight with James. I told him the whole story, about how this was the vampire that had attacked me and my mom, about our little conversation, and about our fight. He sat on the floor listening intently to my story. Then he looked at my arm, noticing it was bandaged.

"Can I see?" he asked quietly.

I pulled the bandage off of it, and he gasped. It looked much worse that it actually was. I knew it would be healed before nightfall, but it definitely didn't look pretty. When James had bit into my arm and Jasper pulled him off of me, it ripped a chunk out of my arm. I only hoped that it healed neatly. I didn't want a huge gaping scar on my arm… maybe that was vain, but hey… when you're body is perfection, what can you say?

"It will be healed before nightfall. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. You just have to keep an eye on Alice. This vampire is very dangerous and now he has his eyes set on her. He will stop at nothing until he gets her. Please be careful… this is no joke. I haven't talked to Jasper or Carlisle about it, but I think it would be best if you guys left town for a while. We are going to be scouring the woods for James. We can't take any chances with him. He is dangerous, 'cause he doesn't care. There is nothing that will stop him now except for death."

"We can't leave Bella! We are supposed to be searching for Emmett. Esme will never agree to leave now. It's just not plausible, she won't do it. We will be careful."

"Maybe it would be best if we made it look like Emmett was killed by the bear, then you can tell her that you need to get out of the area for a while. You guys can't stay here with this vampire running around. I won't lose you Edward." I said while grabbing his shoulders.

He placed his hands on both sides of my face, "You won't lose me. I'm here for good. Nothing can take me away from you, not even a raging vampire." He said with his perfect crooked grin. When he smiled like that it made my insides twist up. It was like I couldn't think clearly.

I crushed my mouth against his. "You have to leave, Edward. This isn't a joke."

"I know it's not, but I'm not leaving you. We can send Alice and Esme somewhere for a while, but I'm not leaving you. Won't happen." He said to me. I knew I wouldn't be able to budge him on this. He was a stubborn, stubborn man, but I loved him.

* * *

**EN: So what did ya think? Good? Bad? Indifferent? You can let me know by clicking the green button and leaving a review! Thanks so much! Til next time!!**


	29. Ch 29: Death

**AN: Hey everyone! It's been a couple of days since I posted. I think I'll start slowing down now, since I'm almost caught up to the last chapter I've written. If I get enough reviews I may still post as often, but I'm not sure. I hope you enjoy this chapter...there's a lot of stuff that happens. So pay close attention! :) Jadiona, has helped me out so much with my story, from making it more readable to giving me chapter titles. I 3 U!! :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Not now, not ever. But RPattz OWNS me!! Jeezus he's a super hot man...whew. *fanning myself* **

* * *

Chapter 29 – Death

**BPOV**

Edward, Alice, and Esme all left for the evening once I had made my appearance with my bandaged ankle. Carlisle told them that I would need to get some rest, so they all decided to go ahead and leave. Once they were out of the door Carlisle told Jasper to take the first watch over the Masen's. We were going to be watching them all the time now that James was on the hunt. Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie and I all sat around trying to decide the best way to find James.

"We have to make sure that they are constantly watched. If James gets through to Alice, then everything will be for nothing." Carlisle said, talking about trying to keep Esme in the dark about us a while longer.

"Dad, I spoke to Edward about sending Alice and Esme out of town for a while, but he said that Esme won't leave while Emmett is still 'missing'. I think we should just either end the charade and fill her in on our secret, or stage Emmett's death."

Emmett jumped up and yelled, "NO! We can't do that! I played along with keeping her in the dark, but if you tell her I'm dead then it will kill her. I can't do that to her. I'll just go over and tell her what I am now. She will have to accept you, because if she doesn't then she doesn't accept me!" Rose grabbed his arm and tried comforting him, but he was too upset.

Carlisle spoke up then, "Would you rather that James get to Alice? Or even for him to get to Esme? He won't be gentle. He will kill them once he is able to get his hands on them. We can't follow them around everywhere they go, Emmett. It just isn't a viable option. We can watch the house and grounds at night, but what about during the day? What if it is a sunny day? We can't go out then, because then they would see us. James won't care if they see him in the sunlight, because once they see him they will be dead anyway. I think Bella's right. We need to put an end to this… we need to stage your death. What if she doesn't accept what you are now? We have to find the right time to let her know, and that time is not now. If she knows that another vampire is after her and Alice, then how do you think she will feel about us, as vampires?"

Carlisle made a great argument. It would kill Emmett if Esme didn't want to have anything to do with him now that he's a vampire. We talked about it a few minutes longer, but Emmett couldn't argue with our reasoning. Rosalie agreed with Carlisle's and my idea. It just made the most sense.

I ran out to the Masen's house to find Jasper and fill him in on what we were planning on doing. Then I ran to an area close to where the guys had been hunting that night and shredded Emmett's clothes a little bit more to make up for the missing body. This way it looked like the bear had either eaten Emmett here or dragged off his body. Now, we would just have to wait for daybreak to join the search party again and find his clothes.

I ran back home to wait for morning. Emmett was sitting on the back porch by himself. I walked around to him.

"Emmett, I'm so sorry that I fucked up your life." I said to him with my head in my hands.

"You didn't fuck up my life, Sis. You saved my life. Never forget that. I know I won't. I'm just so aggravated that we can't tell Esme. I know she won't have an issue about us. She's the greatest mom ever. She has taken care of me for so long. I just hate putting her through all of this for nothing, once we do end up telling her."

"I know, Em… but, at least for now it will keep her and Alice safe. If we can convince them to take a trip for a while, then we can get James out of the way. I can't let him kill again. He ruined my life. I won't let him do it to anyone else."

Rosalie came outside then and sat on Emmett's lap and nuzzled into his neck. I decided to let them have some privacy, so I went inside and checked on my arm. Carlisle was right, it had already healed over. I could only be happy that James hadn't taken my arm off. I wanted revenge for everything he had done to me and mine. He was a dead vampire; he just didn't know it yet.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Once daylight broke, Carlisle, Jasper and I went over to the Masen's house again to 'search' for Emmett. We decided that Alice, Esme and Edward would go with us, but Carlisle and Esme would break off from our little group once we got close to the clothing. Edward, Jasper, Alice and I would 'find' the clothes, so it wasn't too traumatic for Esme to see it. We were also keeping an eye out for James. I didn't think he would attack with Jasper, Carlisle and I hanging around but you never know. He may just be desperate, and that we didn't know.

Finally we made it close to the point where I had dropped off the clothes the night before and I looked to Edward. He just closed his eyes and nodded. I looked over at Carlisle and he grabbed Esme's arm and told her that we should break up for a little bit to cover more ground. She went with him.

We walked quickly to the planted clothes and waited. Neither Edward nor Alice had seen anything from Emmett's attack. The shirt still had his blood on it. Alice crumbled into Jasper's side and Edward turned around quickly, looking like he was going to be sick. "I shredded the shirt some more to make it look like he wouldn't have been able to survive the attack," I told them softly, trying to lessen the shock of the sight of his clothes.

Edward grabbed my shoulders and just clung to me for dear life. "I don't know how to thank you Bella… for saving my brother's life. If it wasn't for you, then we… really would be looking for Emmett's body. Thank you."

Jasper called Carlisle's cell to tell him that we had it. We were going to meet up at Edward's house to put the clothes into evidence. We were hoping that Esme wouldn't have to see the clothes. We also called the local police that were involved in the search to take care of the clothing. My little group made it back to the house quickly, so we handed off the shirt to the officer in charge.

Alice and Edward broke down when we saw Carlisle carrying Esme out of the forest. Esme was overwrought. She was crying uncontrollably and almost hyperventilating. I looked over at Jasper and he knew what I was thinking. I felt a wave of calm and I knew he was directing most of it at Esme, but it didn't seem to be helping. She just kept saying, "My baby… my baby," over and over again. Jasper just shook his head. His power was having no affect on Esme. Carlisle took her into the house and we followed closely behind. Alice and Edward went to her and wrapped her in a huge hug. Carlisle always carried his doctor's bag with him everywhere, and he had some sedatives in there. He gave a couple to Esme to try and calm her down, since Jasper wasn't working. Alice and Edward were crying almost as hard as Esme. I knew it was killing Edward to see her like this. It was just horrible. Edward walked over to me and wrapped me into a warm hug and just cried.

I whispered, "It's going to be okay, baby. Everything will turn out okay." I just hoped that I was right.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A couple of days later they had a funeral for Emmett. It was heart wrenching to watch. Esme was so drugged up that she just sat there with a blank look on her face. It was so awful to see her like this, when we had seen her so happy and full of life before. This was hitting her so much harder than I ever thought it would. I was questioning our plan to keep our secret from her. Surely she wouldn't have been this upset with finding out he was a vampire.

It looked like the whole town of Forks turned up for the funeral. There wasn't a seat available in the funeral home. People were standing out in the vestibule it was so crowded. There was a huge picture at the front of the room of Emmett, laughing at the camera. I sat next to Edward holding his hand; Alice was holding his other hand. Jasper had his arm around Alice. Rosalie was there as well, trying to play the part of the grieving girlfriend. She wore a black dress, like the rest of us, but she also wore a black veil to cover her face. Since we couldn't cry, well, apparently with the exception of me, she had to wear it. Carlisle was holding on to Esme's hands. She was so pale; almost as pale as us; her eyes were red rimmed. She may have been drugged, but she constantly cried. There were no breaks in her tears; steady streams down her face.

We had been watching their house for the past couple of days, but James was no where to be found. I didn't think he was bluffing when he said he would take Alice, but the wait was killing me. I just wanted him out of the picture so we could concentrate on slowly letting Esme onto our secret.

Edward had asked me to sing 'Amazing Grace' at the service, while he played the organ. Once we got to that part in the memorial, Edward started out fine, but he broke down about halfway through the song and couldn't play any longer, so I finished it a cappella. It was difficult to look out at the townspeople and know that this was all a humongous lie.

We didn't have to go to the cemetery because there was no body to bury. We went back to the Masen's house and sat around with their friends listening to stories about when Emmett was younger, playing pranks and getting into trouble. It was a lighter mood here than at the funeral home, but Esme was not joining in the conversations. Carlisle thought it would be best for her to go upstairs and rest. Most of the people left after giving their condolences. I decided to go on my rounds around the house to keep an eye out for James. Carlisle, Jasper and Rosalie left to go home to Emmett. I made my way around the house a couple of times, when I got back towards the house I saw Edward sitting outside.

I ran up to him. "You shouldn't be outside. It still isn't safe. We don't know where he is, none of you can be alone."

"He's not after me. I'm not worried about him," he said with a pause and then continued, "I'm worried about Mom. She's not coming out of this depression. I thought that after the funeral she would begin the healing process, but she's just as bad as when we first found the clothes. I thought it would be better if she didn't have to keep searching for him, but now it's like she's given up on everything. I can't stand to see her like that. It's just not right."

"I know, but we just have to keep it up a little while longer, until we can kill James. I don't think he'll wait much longer to attack, so please, just go inside the house and wait with Alice. We shouldn't leave her alone…"

Just then I heard a window break in the house. I turned and ran as fast as I could to get inside, then I smelled him. James was here in the house. I had no idea where Alice was. I quickly pulled out my cell phone and dialed Jasper. "Get here! NOW!" and I hung up.

Just then Edward came running in. "Go upstairs and check on Esme. Where was Alice?"

He told me he thought she was in the kitchen. Without another thought I ran straight there. James was standing over Alice's limp body. I saw blood around James mouth. He had already bitten Alice. I just didn't know if he had killed her.

I didn't even think about it; I just jumped on him with all of my strength and knocked him through the glass door out into the yard. I made sure to keep my shield up around me this time. I would not be the one to get hurt. I bit into his neck and jerked. I didn't pull his head off, but it was a good bite. I took a good chunk out of him. He tried knocking me off of him, but I held on like I was in a rodeo. I knew Jasper would be here any second if I could just hold on. I could hear Alice screaming in the house. That was a good sign; she was alive. Bad news, Esme would have to hear all of the commotion going on in her own house.

Just then Jasper ran out of the woods and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me hanging on to James' back. Then he jumped in to help me. I grabbed one arm while Jasper grabbed the other. James was a tough fighter, but we had rage on our side. He had fucked with us too much. We pulled his arms off of his body and he fell to the ground in pain. I knew Jasper could take it from here, so I left him to it, while I went inside to check on Alice, Edward, and Esme.

* * *

**EN: I hope you enjoyed it! Please review and let me know what you think! :) Til next time!!**


	30. Ch 30: Revenge

**AN: Thanks so much for the lovely reviews!! :) You guys are just too damn wonderful for words. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Thanks again to Jadiona, my perfect beta!! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. *pouts***

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 30 – Revenge**

**JPOV**

I left the Masen's house with Carlisle and Rosalie. Esme really was taking it hard about Emmett's 'death'. I came home to offer support to Emmett, because I knew Rosalie wouldn't lie to him about how Esme reacted. I was afraid that Emmett would go crazy knowing how this was affecting Esme. He didn't want to do it this way, which I understood, but because of Alice's vision it was for the best. Rosalie was telling Emmett about how many people showed up to show their support for Esme, Edward, and Alice when my phone rang. I looked at the caller id and it was Bella. I didn't even have a chance to say hello before I heard, "Get here! NOW!" I knew that she was watching Esme, Edward and Alice so this would not be good. I ran as fast as I could to their house. I didn't care if anyone saw me, I just ran.

I got there within five minutes and just about lost it when I entered the clearing of the Masen's house. There was so much to take in. I could see the broken glass shimmering from the last light of the day. I could hear Edward talking to someone in the house, but worst of all I could hear Alice screaming in the house. I looked at James closely and saw he had blood on him, and I knew he had bitten Alice. I felt so much rage coming from the two people grappling beside the house. Bella was on top of James holding on with all of her might. James was trying to throw her off, but he couldn't do it. I jumped into the fight and grabbed one of James' arms, while Bella grabbed the other and we pulled. He fell to the ground. Bella left the rest of him for me.

I reached down and grabbed one of James' legs and pulled it off so he couldn't run away from me. We were going to have a nice long talk before I finished him off. I squatted in front of James while he laid there howling in pain. I grabbed him by the back of the hair and made him look in my eyes.

"You have finally pissed off the wrong vampire, James. First, we told you that you were dead, but would you leave well enough alone and leave? No, you had to try and insert yourself into the Masen's life."

He laughed in my face, "I didn't try… I succeeded. I bit your little play toy. She will become on of us, but you will always have to live with the fact that I changed her, and not you. You will always remember me."

I growled and twisted his head hard enough to make it hurt, but not to tear it off. I saw where Bella had taken a hunk out of his neck already. "I may always remember you, but it will only be a memory. You will no longer be around to fuck with anyone else's life again. You killed Bella's mother and tried to kill her. I know I won't get a reason out of you for it, because there is no reason. It's just what you are, right? Well, at least I get the pleasure of ending your existence not only for Bella, but for Alice as well. You really should have left well enough alone, you bastard. But now, you die." And after my little speech I ripped his head clean off of his shoulders. I pulled out my lighter and torched what was left of James, before I went inside to see what type of damage he had done.

BPOV

Jasper was outside taking care of James when I ran inside to check on Alice. She was still huddled on the floor with Edward holding her head. Edward was trying his hardest to calm Alice, but I knew nothing would calm her now, except for time… unless…

I walked over to Alice's twitching form to try and decipher how bad her injuries were. She was loosing a lot of blood from the attack James had inflicted on her. I knew from first hand experience what kind of damage James could do. When I looked down on Alice, it was like looking at my mother, only she hadn't survived. He had clawed up her legs, arms, chest, and face with his razor like nails, but he had only bit her in one place. I think I may have interrupted his little meal or she would have had a lot more bite marks. I bent down and said to Edward, "I'm going to try and help her. If I can't stop you have to go get Jasper. He'll know what to do." And with that I kissed Edward with all of my love poured into it. He just looked at me dumbfounded. I leaned over Alice and looked into her eyes. I could hear her heart beat was faltering so I quickly spit into the wounds that James had inflicted. Then I tried to use my venom to seal up the worst of her wounds. I bit her over her chest to try and add more of my venom to her bloodstream. I felt someone pulling on my back. I leaned back and looked into Carlisle's eyes. He had a look of immense pride in them.

I jumped up and ran out of the house. I was afraid that the blood lust would be too much after that and I didn't want to be anywhere near Edward. I hoped that he didn't think less of me for what I had done. I was only trying to help her. If it was true as Carlisle had said before about my changing Emmett, I didn't think it could hurt anything. I didn't even drink from Alice. I only bit her… not drinking the blood was probably one of the hardest things I had ever done. Jasper was torching James' remains when I ran outside. He looked at me and saw the blood on my clothes. He growled and jumped into a fighting stance, before I stopped in front of him. He must have sensed my feelings because he quickly righted himself. "I'm sorry Bella… I thought…"

I knew what he thought… he thought that I had drunk from Alice. I ran over to him and jumped into his arms. I was just so glad that we didn't have to worry about James anymore. "I… I tried to help her. I just hope it works." I said to him. We went back inside to check on her once again and she was quiet. Not making a sound, other than the barely-there beat of her heart. Carlisle looked up at me and smiled. Edward ran over to me and wrapped me in a hug. "Thank you again," he said. I loved it when he held me. It made me feel safe and warm.

"I was so afraid that it wouldn't work. I thought it was just a fluke with Emmett, but now…" I didn't know what to think. Maybe I did have another ability that decided to show itself.

Edward went upstairs to check on Esme, but apparently she had slept through the whole ordeal of Alice's attack. She must have been more medicated than I thought. We needed to come up with something that happened to Alice. I knew Esme would be basically catatonic once she found out about Alice. I hated to do this to her, but I couldn't see any other way around it.

"What are we going to do about Esme? How are we going to pull off Alice's disappearance?" I asked the group. Edward looked pained. He knew that this wasn't going to be good, that nothing good could come from this. "Are we going to tell Esme about us now?"

Carlisle looked up the stairs like he was trying to see how Esme would react. We didn't have Alice's visions to help us now. She would be out of commission for a little bit. "I honestly don't think Esme will notice that Alice is gone for a couple of days. She is so deep in grief right now that nothing can touch her." Carlisle said.

"So we just take Alice home with us and hope that Esme doesn't notice?" I asked.

"I think that would be best for now. Edward, if she does notice that Alice is gone, you have to make up excuses for her absence. Just for a couple of days. I will talk to her once she's well." Carlisle told us.

I felt so bad for Edward. Now he had to come up with more lies to tell Esme about Alice's disappearance. I would try to help him as much as I could, but I didn't know how much help I could be. He just nodded, because he knew there was no way around it for now. Jasper carried Alice to our home and Carlisle followed her. I stayed behind to help Edward clean up the mess before Esme woke up. Once we had finished cleaning and fixing up the glass door we went to check on Esme again. I peeked my head into her room and she was still sleeping soundly. We walked down the hall to his bedroom and I sat on the bed. He turned on his IPOD docking station and flipped it to a random song. I couldn't place the name of the song, but it had a good beat. He walked over and sat next to me running his hands through his hair.

I knew that he had had a long day, so I pulled him down and laid his head in my lap while I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Bella, tell me something about your childhood."

God, it had been forever since I had thought about my younger days. "Well, I guess you could say that my childhood was just about perfect. My parents were so much in love. They doted on me, because I was their only child, and I was a daddy's girl. I would go fishing with my father and then come home and help my mom clean and cook the catch that we brought home. We would play catch, and then I would go shopping with my mom. They were always doing stuff with me. It was basically the perfect childhood." I told him.

"I know your mom was attacked by James, but what about your father? What ever happened to him?" he asked.

It hurt so much to think about my father. "Well, he's still alive. I try to keep tabs on him from time to time. Of course I don't let him see me, but the internet is a wonderful tool. I've even been through the town where he lives to try and catch glimpses of him. He never remarried, my mother was his life." I trailed off.

"It sounds to me like you both were his life. What did they say happened to you?"

"Well, since Carlisle was the doctor at the hospital he got them to cremate a homeless body that he passed off as me. Charlie, my father, had mine and my mom's ashes spread out over the lake where we used to fish. At least he still has mom there."

"Have you never thought about going to see him? I mean actually see him; walk up to him and talk to him?"

"Oh yeah, plenty of times. You don't know how hard it was to keep from running up to him the first time I saw him after my change. But what was I to say? 'Hey dad!! It's me, Bella. Yeah, it's me… I'm a vampire now, how are things?' I believe he would have fallen over from a heart attack or something. I figured it was just best for him to think that I had died and to leave him in peace. There is nothing that can change what happened. I am what I am. He doesn't need to see me as I am now… I'm a monster." I said the last part under my breath hoping Edward wouldn't hear me.

He mumbled, half asleep, "You're not a monster. You're more like an angel, my angel."

I just kept sitting there stroking his hair saying nothing after that. He had finally fallen asleep. I was no angel, unless you classified me as the angel of death.

* * *

  
**EN: So what did ya think? Huh? I can't hear you...you have to click the green button first! Thanks!!! Til next time!! :)**


	31. Ch 31: Reactions

**AN: Hey everyone! I hope you all had a nice Halloween! I handed out candy and the kids were so cute! I hope you like this chapter...not much drama. But that can be a good thing right? Well have fun!**

* * *

**Chapter 31 – Reactions**

**BPOV**

I was still laying there with Edward when Esme woke up the next morning. I nudged him awake when I heard her moving around. He mumbled and turned over. I nudged him a little bit harder and said, "Wake up sleepyhead."

He jumped up to a sitting position and just looked at me. "You stayed?"

I just laughed at him, "Of course I stayed. I knew you would need some support today with Esme. If you want me to leave, I can just go. I just wanted to wake you up, because Esme is walking around."

"No, I don't want you to leave, but I don't think Esme will like it if she finds you in my room this early in the morning. How about you go outside and wait for like 15 minutes and then come knock on the front door? Does that work?"

"Sure, but make that about 30 minutes. I need to go hunt, but I'll stay close in case you need anything. It's been awhile." I told him. I leaned over and kissed him sweetly, then ran and jumped out of his window.

I found a couple of deer to feast on. Then I walked up to the front door of the Masen house and knocked.

Edward came to the door, running his hand through his hair with a distressed look on his face. I grabbed his hand and asked quietly, "How is she?" He just shook his head and grimaced. I walked in behind him to find Esme sitting at the dining room table looking through old photo albums. "Hey Esme," I said. She glanced up at me and tried to smile, but it was too painful looking. She just sighed. I walked over to her and gave her a huge hug. She was so weak I barely felt her put her arms around me. "Do you want some breakfast?" I asked her.

"No dear, I'm just not hungry." She told me.

"Well, you may not be hungry, but you need to eat something. You didn't even eat anything yesterday. I'll make you some scrambled eggs, how's that?" I said, trying to be cheerful. Before she could answer I walked into the kitchen and started cooking for her. I may not be able to eat the food, but I still remembered how to cook it. My mom had shown me how to work around the kitchen. I loved to cook, but never got to use my skills, unless it was for something at school, or at the hospital for Carlisle. Edward came into the kitchen and sat at the bar watching me cook.

He grabbed me around the waist and placed a kiss on my neck right under my ear, then said, "Thank you for doing this."

I spun around and put my hands on the back of his neck, "Don't worry about it. I want to do this, I just hate seeing her so depressed," and I kissed him on the lips.

When the eggs were done, I took them into the dining room. I moved the photo albums that Esme was looking at and placed the plate in front of her. She flicked her eyes up at me with a fire burning in them. "I said I didn't want any food. Just leave me alone."

I glared right back at her and said, "You need to eat. You can look at the albums after you have eaten, but you will eat these eggs." I had to use the tough love on her, or she was going to end up making herself sick. She may hate me for a while, but it was better than the alternative. She just kept staring at me when I handed her a fork to eat with. She huffed and snatched the fork out of my hand and started eating angrily. At least she was eating. Edward had just stood there and watched our whole exchange with a look of disbelief. I smirked at him and sat down to make sure she finished her food. I felt like I was taking care of a five year old, but that was okay. She needed to be looked after while she was going through this.

Finally she looked around and noticed that Alice wasn't there. "Where's Alice?" she asked.

I made up the excuse because I could see Edward floundering. "Oh, she went shopping with Rosalie. They wanted to do a female bonding thing."

Esme just nodded and looked up at me saying, "Why didn't you go with them?"

"I didn't feel much like shopping today. I actually hate shopping, so it was fine for them to go by themselves. It will be good for them to get out of the house."

She looked at the photo albums and then back at the eggs. "Come on, Esme, there is just a little bit left. Go on and finish eating, then you can have the albums back, I promise."

She quickly finished off the eggs and put her hand out. I handed her back the albums and took her plate back to the kitchen. I decided to call Carlisle to see what was going on at home.

"Hey dad, how are things going?"

"Things are fine. You didn't come home last night, where were you?" he asked.

It was so funny sometimes that Carlisle really acted so much like my father. I loved him even more for it. "I stayed at the Masen's to make sure they were okay last night. Esme never woke up yesterday, so I wanted to help Edward when she woke up this morning. I made her eat eggs. You should have seen her, dad, she was not happy at all, but she finally ate," I said with a small laugh.

"Well, that's good. Just keep doing what you're doing. I'm going to come over later to see her. I'm glad you called though; I wanted to update you about Alice. She's doing well; her heart beat is almost non-existent now. She should be finished within the next couple of hours. Has Esme noticed that she's gone?"

"Yeah, I told her that she and Rose went shopping today, so that's covered for today. We may be able to tell her that Alice is just going to spend the night with us or something if she wonders about her later. I'll come home in a little bit. I want to make sure Edward doesn't need anything."

"Alright, well, if you need anything in the meantime, just call and let me know. I'll see you in a couple of hours. Love you."

"Love you too, Dad. Thanks."

After I got off the phone and cleaned up the kitchen mess, I went back to the dining room to find that Edward was sitting there all alone.

"Where did Esme go?"

"She went upstairs with the albums," he said dejectedly.

"Come on, let's go outside and get some fresh air. You look like you need it."

We went outside and walked a little ways away to a small pond in the middle of the woods. It was like an oasis in the desert, only it was in the middle of the woods. We sat on a log next to the bank, throwing rocks in it. Then Edward asked me a question I honestly never expected I'd hear.

"When are you going to change me?"

I almost fell off of the log. I hadn't even thought about changing him. I didn't want to change him; his life was pretty much ruined because I had come into it. I wouldn't damn him to a lifetime of drinking blood and never sleeping.

"I'm not."

"What?! You're not going to change me? What about Alice and Emmett? You changed them, why not me?"

"Edward, I only changed Emmett because he was going to die if something else wasn't done. I didn't change Alice that was James… I just made it easier on her. I can't do that to you… you wouldn't like this life."

"What's not to like? You're in it, Emmett and Alice… their in it. Why should I grow old and watch you guys stay young and beautiful? I think it makes sense. Do you not want me to be with you forever?" he asked sadly.

"It's not that Edward, come on! Why would you want to become a vampire? We never sleep. We only drink blood. We lose our souls. Why would you give up your life for that? What about college? About having a wife and kids?" I told him softly. I actually hated the thought of him being with another woman. Tonya was bad enough, but I wanted him to have kids. He should have a bronze-haired, green-eyed child. He would be a great father. He deserved to have a normal life.

"I don't care about any of that stuff if you're not in it. We can have kids later. That's not a problem."

I laughed, "See! You don't even know everything about becoming a vampire. Female vampires cannot have kids! We are not physically capable; everything inside of us is dead. Our hearts don't beat; we have no blood to push through. ALL of our organs have shut down. Edward it's just not possible. I'm sorry. You deserve to have children. You deserve to have a warm woman in your bed, not a cold heartless vampire." My laughter turned into tears. I wanted this man more than anything in the world, but I wanted him to be happy, more. There was nothing I wouldn't give him, except death. I could not do it.

He rubbed the tears off of my face with his thumbs and looked me in the eye. "Isabella, without you I am nothing. I want nothing more than to live with you forever. I want only you in my bed. We don't have to have children. We will have our family beside us, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice. That's all we would ever need. All I need is you. Please believe me when I say that."

I couldn't believe him. He was too young to know what he wanted. What if in 10 or 15 years he decides he wants to have kids? He will hate me for taking that chance away from him. I've thought long and hard about having kids, it just wasn't possible. Rose and I have had this conversation too many times to count and it always ends up with both of us being depressed. I've been to the hospitals where Carlisle has worked just to go to the maternity ward to see the babies. They are so precious. I never get to hold them though, because I am always too scared that I will crush them. They are so fragile and tiny. Rose never goes with me though because she says that I am just torturing myself.

I just whispered to Edward, "You'll change your mind one day, and then you'll hate me for taking away all of your options."

He shook his head, "I could never hate you."

"What about Esme? Are you going to leave her all alone?" I asked. I was grasping at straws to try and get him to think really long and hard about this decision. It wasn't something you could just take back. It was a decision that lasted more than a lifetime.

He sat and thought about that one for a minute, then said, "Well, if I were to go to college I would end up leaving her anyways. So what's the difference?"

Son of a bitch! He had an answer for everything! "Yeah, you would be leaving her, but you could always come back to see her. She doesn't even know about vampires yet. We don't know how she's going to react, what if she's so scared of us that she never wants to see us again? Then you would be leaving her for good. Seriously, Edward, just think about it. Your whole life changes. It's not a trend; it's not a new fad. It's permanent."

"I know what you're trying to tell me, but I don't see the cons to this. I will think about it more, but I won't change my mind. I want to be with you…forever." He said.

I just sighed. We were getting no where today with this conversation. I loved him, but I didn't want to change him. I wanted him to have the options that I never had. He couldn't understand that until his options were taken from him.

Carlisle pulled up in the driveway a few minutes later. We walked over to the car as he got out. "How is she doing?" Carlisle asked.

"Well, we haven't really seen her since I talked to you earlier. She went upstairs with her albums."

"Do you think she'll want to see me?" he asked Edward.

"Yeah, sure, I'll walk you up."

"I'm going to go home and check on Alice. If you guys need anything, just let me know." I told them. Carlisle walked into the house giving Edward and I a chance to say goodbye.

"Is it okay if I come by and see you later?" I asked him.

"Of course it's okay. I'll see you later." He said before giving me a kiss goodbye.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I ran into the house excited to see Alice. I was hoping she was doing well. I didn't know if she had finished the change or not. Carlisle hadn't said anything about her at Edward's house. I walked into the living room and saw Emmett and Rosalie watching TV. "Where's Alice and Jasper?" I asked them. Rosalie didn't even look away from the TV as she told me that they were in Jasper's room.

I walked up the stairs to Jasper's room and knocked. He opened the door and smiled. I knew that was a good sign. I grabbed him in a hug and asked, "How is she?"

He squeezed me and said, "She's doing well. She woke up about 20 minutes ago. Bella, she's so beautiful. I… I never knew…"

It was strange for Jasper to not have the words to explain what he's thinking or feeling. "I know. Can I see her?" I asked.

He nodded and stepped back from the door. I walked in and he was right. She was beautiful. Her pale complexion was flawless. Her eyes were the golden hew of our normal color. The planes of her face were more defined, yet softer. She looked as much like a model as Rosalie, only shorter. When she saw me, she just stood in one spot and stared at me. I knew that once you woke up from the change, everything was so different. She was looking at me in a whole new light. When her eyes met mine she ran at me and flung herself at me. She put her little arms around my neck and gave me one of her ecstatic hugs. I hugged her back with all of my might. I was so happy that I had a new sister; that Jasper gets to keep his love for all of eternity. We sat and talked for a couple of hours about everything that had happened since she had been attacked by James. She was in so much pain from James, that she didn't even realize that I had bit her. She kept thanking me for assisting her with the change. I was really happy that they didn't have to go through the whole ordeal in excruciating pain and for the length of time that was normal for other vampires.

I left a while later and went back to Edward's house. He was in his room fiddling on a keyboard on his bed. I knocked on his window and he jerked his head toward the sound, and then smiled. I opened the window and stepped in. I was afraid that he would want to go back to our earlier conversation about changing him, but we somehow stayed away from that topic. I told him about Alice and how she was doing. We talked about how much school work we would have to catch up on from all the days we had missed. I told him that I would help him with everything, since I knew more about the subjects than probably the teachers even knew. Finally he got ready for bed and I lay next to him, stroking his hair and humming him to sleep. I could do this forever.

I wanted him to be with me forever, but I didn't want to take anything away from his life. He deserved so much more. One day he would see that he doesn't want this, and I didn't want that day to come after he had been changed. I just didn't know how to make him see it.

* * *

**EN:** Like I said up top, not much happens this go around. I might not be able to post for a little bit, cause stupid me...dropped my laptop. I have a couple more chapters saved up, but I've lost the newest one I've been working on. Hopefully I can get it fixed. Hate working on the old one, without any music. :( Anywho...enough moaning and complaining. Please review!!


	32. Ch 32: Problems

**AN: Hey guys! I know it's been a couple of days, sorry. It's been a busy week. I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you guys. The chapters will probably be coming slower...as you can tell...I might have to make it to where I update once a week. RL has been taking a back burner since I started this story, and I need to change that. My hubby is missing me. LOL **

**As always, my Beta, Jadiona is the bestest. I don't know what I'd do without her. She makes me smile!! **

**Disclaimer: As you all know, I don't own Twilight...but *drum roll* I do own a Hot Topic wrist band that's gonna get me in to see Jamie Campbell-Bower and Edi Gathegi. Woohoo!! **

* * *

Chapter 32 –

BPOV

The weekend was pretty much uneventful compared to the rest of our week. Edward came to my house on Saturday to see Alice. We were hoping that everything would turn out as well as it had with Emmett. We took the same precautions with Alice. Jasper and I stood on both sides of Alice and Edward stood in the middle of the living room. Seeing Alice excited as a vampire was really something to behold. When she jumped up and down it was like a fucking jack hammer in our living room, she bounced so fast. She was a bundle of energy before the change, now… it was magnified 10 times. I couldn't help but be happy when Alice was around. She was always the life of the party.

Esme was still in her own little world, staring at the photo albums and grieving so much for Emmett that she rarely paid any attention at all to Edward, and didn't even realize that Alice had gone missing. We were thankful for that, but I felt horrible for Edward. It was almost like he had lost his mother. I've been cooking her meals, but not really sure if she's been eating them or not. Carlisle has been trying to make her eat, but she only ate when we basically forced her.

Carlisle and I talked about ways to try and let her in on our 'existence' but it was hard to come up with a way that would break the news gently. I suggested that Carlisle maybe take an old Dracula movie over to her house and watch it, then start talking about vampires to see her take on them. Give her a little bit of information about the real vampires, instead of Hollywood's versions, and then see how she reacts. Almost like a hypothetical situation, but he didn't think that way would work.

I had Carlisle write up a doctor's note for Alice to miss school. Jasper, Rosalie, Edward and I have to go back to school. It was going to be so weird without Emmett and Alice there, but it had to be done. They could always finish their high school diploma in a couple of years when they get their new instincts under control. It would be an accident waiting to happen.

I didn't stay with Edward on Sunday night, because I had to go hunting. I went with the whole family, except for Carlisle. He rarely went hunting with us. I had asked him once why he didn't hunt with us, and he said that he just preferred doing it alone. I didn't really understand that, but whatever. I had more fun hunting with my family. We would sometimes turn it into a game, or a contest. Good times. Emmett and Alice were bitching, because they had to stay at the house for the whole day, instead of coming to school with us. They understood why they shouldn't go to school, but they still didn't like it. We all went home to get ready for the next day at school.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Monday morning went about as well as expected. Everyone was coming up to Edward and Rosalie giving their condolences. Neither Edward nor Rosalie ever said anything, except thank you or just nodding their heads. We made it to the lunch room and sat at or normal table after Edward had grabbed some food. Jasper tensed up and looked over my shoulder. I didn't know what to expect so I turned around slowly. There was Tonya stalking toward us. I didn't know what the fuck she planned on doing, but I knew whatever it was wouldn't be good. Once she got to our table she stood behind Edward and said, "Oh Eddie, I'm so sorry about Emmett. I really hate that, that happened," then she looked at Rosalie and said, "I know you didn't know Em that long, but I'm sure it's been hard on you, too." Rosalie just glared at her. I looked up at Tonya, standing over Edward with her hand on his shoulder. He was grimacing when she started kneading his shoulder.

I couldn't take anymore, I stood up and walked over to Tonya and whispered in her ear, "Can I talk to you for a minute outside?"

Jasper's eyes widened and starting shaking his head no. "Bella, I don't think that's a very good idea," he said.

Edward looked up at me with a confused expression on his face, like 'what the fuck are you doing?'

She sent me a smug smile and nodded. I walked out the door with her following me. Once we were away from the building I turned around and glared at her. I will not use my powers or strength… I will not use my full powers or strength… I chanted over and over in my head. She stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me with a scared look on her face. "Wh… what do you want?" she asked me.

"I want you to listen and listen closely. You will not look at Edward, talk to Edward or TOUCH Edward again. You lost those rights when you fucked him and left him. He cared about you, but you treated him like shit. You USED him and that was NOT okay. I don't want you anywhere near him. Do you understand?"

She narrowed her eyes at me and said, "Oh yeah? Well how do you think you're going to keep me from talking to him? I don't have to listen to you."

I pushed her up against the wall of the building, hard, but not hard enough to really hurt her. "I WILL fuck you up if you even look at him. Don't think I won't. You haven't seen me when I'm really pissed. All of the stupid little tricks you pulled before were just an inconvenience to me before, but now… now that Edward and I are together you will not fuck that up for us. Leave him in peace."

I let go of her and turned around to walk back into the lunchroom when I heard her speak under her breath, "Stupid bitch thinks she can tell me who I can and can't talk to… I'll show her." I ignored her, because if she even tried to talk to Edward I WOULD fuck her up. No questions asked.

I walked into the lunchroom and everyone at our table just stared at me. Jasper sent me a wave of calm and I just smiled at him. "Everything's fine now. She shouldn't be bothering us again."

Edward and I walked to Biology together and he had a thoughtful expression on his face. We walked into class and he went to sit at his regular table, while I went to talk to the teacher about letting me sit with Edward instead of Tonya. The teacher agreed. I walked to Edward's table and sat down. Tonya walked in a couple of minutes later and sat at her own table alone. She didn't look at me or Edward, which was smart on her part. I had a feeling that she listened and paid attention to our little conversation so there shouldn't be any problems. Class passed by quickly, and then we were on our way to Choir class. Edward was being unusually quiet, so I asked him, "What's wrong honey?"

He kept his head down and said, "Nothing." I didn't know what was going on, but I wanted to find out. He walked over to the piano and I followed behind him.

"What's going on?" I asked quietly.

"Nothing, we'll talk about it later," he said. He started playing a couple of pieces for our performance that was coming up in a couple of weeks. Apparently he didn't want to talk to me, so I walked over and sat by myself to work on some lyrics for my own personal songs.

I walked to gym alone and asked the teacher if I could sit out using the excuse of not feeling well. The teacher didn't really care so I went to sit on the bleachers to think about what was going on with Edward. I was anxious to find out what was wrong with him. He had been acting strangely since lunch. Surely he wasn't upset because I pulled Tonya aside and talked to her. Maybe he was just upset about Emmett and Alice still, and the fact that I didn't want to change him.

After gym class, Rosalie and I walked to our car to wait on Jasper and Edward since we all rode together this morning. Jasper came to the car, so now we were waiting on Edward. I didn't know what was taking him so long to get here. Normally he came out before Jasper, but not today. I was starting to get worried.

Jasper sent me a wave of calm and I said, "Oh stuff it Jasper. I don't need that shit right now. Where's Edward?"

"Sorry, I don't know where he is. Let's just wait a couple more minutes. Maybe he got held up with grabbing his homework from a teacher to catch up on the classes he's missed."

That sounded like a good explanation, but something felt off. I didn't like it… at all. We waited and waited. We were the second to last car in the parking lot at the school. I didn't know who owned the other car; it was a blue Mitsubishi Eclipse. Finally Edward walked out of the school, followed by none other than Tonya. I couldn't fucking believe it. That stupid fucking whore couldn't take a fucking hint!! I growled and started moving toward them, but Rosalie grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back. "You need to calm down. Start walking home… NOW," she said to me.

I looked at her incredulously. "What the FUCK Rose!! I'm not fucking walking home."

She glared at me, then turned on her 'charming smile' and said, "Bella, you WILL be walking home today. I don't care if you have to run through the forest or hitch-hike with a redneck from the fucking movie 'Deliverance' but you will walk home."

I could feel my will bending under her 'order'. I hated it when she used that shit on me. It was like I couldn't think for myself; like someone had control over my actions, when I didn't. I turned around and walked to the edge of the woods, and turned around. I looked at Edward and he was still talking to Tonya, but he looked over at me with a shocked expression on his face. I turned into the woods and ran home all alone.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I went straight home, but only because that was what Rosalie had ordered. Once I got there I turned around and ran back out into the woods to be alone some more. I couldn't figure out what the fuck Edward and Tonya had talked about. Had they made up? Was he going to leave me for her? Wasn't this what I wanted… for him to have a warm woman in his bed? NO! Not her! Why would he even talk to her after what she did to him? I didn't understand. I didn't stop running for about an hour. I had so many thoughts running through my head. I wanted to talk to Edward… to find out what had happened, but I was afraid. I was afraid of what he would tell me. What the fuck was up with Rose? Why did she keep me from running over to Edward? Did she want Edward to be with Tonya instead of me? No, that couldn't be it. She hated Tonya almost as much as I did.

I thought back to all that had happened before when Edward was with Tonya. I hated to think that he would fall for her shit again, but it was Edward. It was like he was blinded when it came to her. She knew how to push all of the right buttons when it came to him, and he let her push the buttons. I ran back home to find that Edward wasn't there. I was disappointed that he hadn't stayed around. Rosalie called me from the dining room. I went in to find Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie all sitting around the table. I was slightly perturbed that they were all there waiting for me, almost like an intervention. I sat down heavily at the end of the table.

Rosalie started this little meeting, "So, while I know you're unbelievably pissed at me right now I want you to listen to what we have to say before you get all bitchy with us."

I nodded my head and just glared at her.

"I know what you did at lunch today was to protect Edward, BUT that was the wrong fucking way to do it. You can't just get pissed at the first girl that comes into contact with him. I know she fucked him, but that's beside the point."

I started to interrupt Rose, "That is…"

"No… just listen. You can't do that shit; it will just push him away. You don't think I noticed how he reacted? I'm not fucking stupid, Bella. He hardly talked the whole way home. He's upset… he has so much going on in his life right now that you just need to be there for him. Not trying to dictate his life. Let him make his own decisions. He's a big boy… he can do it."

I just sat there waiting for her to finish. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper just kept sitting there staring at me. Rose finally said, "Now, you can go."

"First off, her fucking him is the point. Did you not see his face when she touched him? She didn't just fuck him… she fucked him over; treated him like a piece of shit. That is why I took her ass outside. I may have overreacted, but I didn't mean any harm by it. I didn't fucking hurt her. She's still in one piece. I'm going to go talk to him." I said as I started to get up from the table, but Rose had other plans.

"I think you might want to stay here tonight. Just give it tonight then you can talk to him tomorrow."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Where the fuck do you get off trying to tell me what the fuck to do, Rose? You have what you wanted; you and Jasper both. I want to see him… to apologize." I said dejectedly.

"I know, but give it some time to sink in Bella. Let him think that you actually thought about what you did. Just one night won't kill you."

"Fine! I'll stay here. I hate this shit," I mumbled and stalked off to go to my bedroom.

I laid down on my couch to unwind from the day. I didn't know how I was going to pass the time throughout the night. The night was always the longest time of day for me. During the day you could fill your time with everyday stuff and act like a normal individual, but during the night, people tended to ask questions about why you were out. I didn't want to listen to music, because it made me think of Edward. I didn't want to write music, because I knew it would be about Edward. Everything I did was slowly revolving around him. I just hoped that I hadn't fucked things up again. I didn't know how I would survive that.

* * *

**EN: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter...I know...stupid ass Tonya always gotta fuck up shit! She'll get whats coming to her...don't you worry, luvs!! Please review...it keeps me motivated. *muah* Til next time!**


	33. Ch 33: Depression

**AN: Hey people!! Hope everyone had a good weekend. ****I'm so excited…I got to meet Jamie Campbell Bower and Edi Gathegi last night! It was fuckin' awesome…no lying!! AND I get to go see Bobby Long perform tonight. Eeek! **

**Okay…so here's the deal…Apparently the last chapter pissed off a lot of my readers…I just want to say I'm sorry about that. I can't go back and change it…it's posted…you didn't like it…that is totally up to you. I hope you keep reading, because it is starting to get to pick up the pace now. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Twilight Saga…obviously!! :) **

**My beautiful-beta Jadiona has started writing a couple more stories. You should totally go check them out!! *whispers* she's Super Woman just so ya know… **

**

* * *

**

Chapter 33 – Depression

**Esme POV**

How did I fail? I tried so hard to be a good mother to the children. Was I wrong to let Emmett go hunting? I couldn't shelter them for life. Kids need to be able to spread their wings and make their own choices. Did I fail them? Was something bad going to happen to Edward too? Alice? How did my life end up this way? I had never found true love until recently with Carlisle. He was the same kindred spirit as I. We both took in children that were not our own. How would he react if this had happened to one of his children?

Carlisle had taught his children manners. Bella was trying to help me out by making me eat. I didn't want her help. I didn't want anyone's help. I just wanted to be left alone to grieve for my lost son. I knew it was wrong to neglect Edward and Alice, but I couldn't stop myself. I hadn't even seen Alice in days. I needed to get out of this… this funk. I should be able to be there for my other children. I would start today… right after I look at the photo albums one last time.

**BPOV**

It was early in the morning, and I couldn't take it anymore. I went out to go hunting. I needed to clear my head in time to see Edward. I was afraid that he would still be distant like yesterday afternoon. I hoped he realized that I didn't talk to Tonya to try and take over his life. I thought I was helping. I just wanted her to leave him alone. He didn't need her shit. I knew that it would be hard on him to face her, after what she did to him.

I found a mountain lion tracking prey. It was tracking an elk. I sat and watched it from a distance for a minute. I loved watching other carnivores attacking prey. Everything had its own way of tracking and attacking. The mountain lion crept along the forest floor with its legs bent close to its body, with her head lowered to the ground. I let the lion capture the elk and get a few bites before I went in for my kill. I felt like playing with it a little bit. I knew the lion would be very protective of its own kill, so instead of pouncing straight onto the lion, I stalked closely to it. The lion screamed at me. The roar of the mountain lion is very distinctive, like a woman screaming. I circled the lion and pounced; drinking from the lion then I then finished off the elk it had killed.

I went home to get ready for school. I took a quick shower and changed into my clothes for the day. I went downstairs to wait on Jasper and Rose. Emmett and Alice were playing on the Wii. Emmett was trying to show Alice how to not break the remotes. He's slowly learning how to control his strength. It was good for them to go through being newborns together.

Jasper and Rosalie came down together and we left to go to another fun filled day at school. We pulled into the parking lot and I saw Edward standing by his silver Volvo. He was so beautiful standing there leaned up against his car. I hated not being able to go to him last night. I wanted to run over to him and hug and kiss him, but I didn't know how he was feeling today. I wanted to know what he had talked to Tonya about. I knew he didn't know exactly what I had told Tonya during lunch yesterday, but she may have told him. Our relationship had had so many bumps and bruises since the start, and I didn't really feel like being rejected today, so I walked over to him slowly, so as not to act anxious. He smiled shyly at me. That was a good sign. I could work with smiles. I stopped right in front of him and smiled back.

"Hi," I said softly.

"Hi," he said back.

I couldn't believe it. I was nervous. I was still so afraid that he would tell me to leave him alone; to quit trying to run his life. But he stepped forward and put his arms over my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. I didn't realize that I had been holding my breath; it shuddered out.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked me.

I just held on to him and shook my head. "Nothing… nothing now. I'm so sorry," I said into his neck.

He pulled back and looked me in the eyes, "Don't worry about it. I know you were just trying… to help me, but it caught me off guard. I know you don't like Tonya, but I've known her for a really long time. Even after everything she did to me, I can't just shut her out of my life. I hope you understand?" he asked.

I could only nod. I didn't understand, but I was just so happy that he wasn't pissed at me. He leaned his head down closer to mine and I leaned up. When our lips touched I knew then that all was right with the world. If he wanted to talk to Tonya, that was fine. I realized that I couldn't dictate who he talked to, but seriously, if she tried fucking with us again I wouldn't hold myself back. A horrible accident would occur… accidents were easy to fake. I leaned back down and closed my eyes. I wanted to remember that kiss for the rest of the day. I felt his hand on my cheek. I looked up into his eyes and he gave me that crooked smile that makes me weak in my knees. I smiled back.

"Come on, let's go get this day started," he said. He grabbed my hand and we walked together into the school.

**Esme POV**

I had lost all sense of time. I put the albums back on the shelf where they belonged. I needed to get my life back together. I needed to see Edward and Alice. I hurried up and got ready. When I put on my clothes I noticed that they were starting to fit loosely. I was determined to start taking better care of myself, not for me, but for the kids. I couldn't desert them now. They needed their mother. I was a foolish, selfish woman. I had only thought about myself and my grief, instead of them and their grief. I knew the kids would be on their way home from school. I also knew they had been giving me my own time alone, going to the Cullen's house after school. I was glad that they had someone to take care of them, while I wallowed in my own pity. I drove to the Cullen's house, hoping to catch the kids before they got settled into their routine, whatever that was. I wanted to take them all out to dinner. I wanted to start my life over again. We needed this… we needed to reconnect.

I pulled into their driveway and noticed that they hadn't arrived yet. Maybe they decided to go somewhere after school. I had no idea. I walked up the front porch of the house to knock on the door. I even didn't know if Carlisle would be working today or not. I hadn't been keeping up to date with his work schedule either. When I got to the door, I heard a loud boisterous laugh. That laugh… I'd heard that laugh so many times in my life I would know it anywhere. I must be going crazy. I had to be going crazy. I moved over to the window to peek in and what I saw almost knocked me on my ass. I never thought I would ever see that face again. I could only make out the profile, but I knew that face. I had cleaned that face for many years, wiped tears from his eyes. Wha… what was he doing here? How could he be here? Emmett was sitting in the floor playing a game with Alice. Why were they here? I have to be going crazy. I was seeing my dead son play games in another person's house. I stumbled back to my car and drove home in a daze.

I walked into my house, not remembering the drive home. I couldn't believe it. My son... I saw my son. How?? I ran my hands through my hair. It wasn't possible. I was losing my fucking mind. Nothing was right anymore. I broke down sobbing and ran up the stairs to my bedroom. Surely that wasn't Emmett… it had to be another boy from school. I yanked the photo albums back off of the shelves, toppling them over. I fell to the floor opening the albums and weeping. Maybe I had forgotten what he looked like. I needed to see his face again to be sure. That boy in the Cullen's house couldn't be my Emmett. How could that be possible??!!

I flipped to the most recent picture of Emmett; he was laughing at the camera because he had just pulled some sort of prank on Edward. He was always pulling pranks on people. He loved making other people laugh. I fingered the photo of Emmett. It was him. Why was I seeing Emmett in the Cullen's house? Why couldn't I see him here? Was I completely losing my mind!?!

I ran to the bathroom and found my precious pills. I knew Carlisle had prescribed them for my depression. Maybe that was it. I was pushing myself to hard… to fast to get over my son, so he was coming back to haunt me. I was so depressed that I was seeing him. It wasn't possible. I opened the bottle with shaky hands and tumbled out the precious pills I knew that I needed now. I couldn't survive without them. I took the whole handful hoping to make the depression go away. I slid down the door frame in my bathroom to the floor. I just needed to rest a while. I needed the pills to take effect. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I just needed to rest.

**BPOV**

After school I rode home alone with Edward. We needed to have some time alone to talk about everything that had happened the day before. I needed him to know why I did what I did. I didn't want him thinking the wrong things about what I did. I just needed to absolutely make sure that everything was alright between us. I also wanted to find out what had happened between him and Tonya. I hated playing the jealous girlfriend, but hell… she'd fucked with us too much already.

We walked through the front door of his house. I was just so glad that I was able to spend time with him again. I know I was only away from him for one afternoon and night, but to me it felt so much longer. We called for Esme, but didn't receive an answer. I turned to Edward and asked, "Is she home? Was she planning on leaving the house today?"

"No, she hasn't left the house since the funeral last week. Her car is in the driveway, so she should be here. Maybe she's sleeping or looking at the albums again and doesn't want to be bothered."

I felt horrible for Edward. His family was falling apart around him. He's lost his brother and sister to my family, and he's losing his mother to the grief she was wallowing in. We walked up to his bedroom, but when we passed by Esme's room I didn't hear anything. Normally I could hear Esme's heart beat or her breathing. I didn't even hesitate. I ran to her door and pushed it open.

Esme was lying in the floor between her bedroom and her adjoining bathroom. Her shelves were knocked over in the corner of the room, with the albums scattered everywhere. I ran over to her and placed my head above her heart. Edward had just made it into the room and fell to the ground on his knees once he saw Esme. I could barely hear her heart. I didn't know what was wrong. She was barely breathing. I looked around and found no blood, but I saw the opened bottle of pills lying on the ground next to her. I quickly called Carlisle, "Dad, something's wrong with Esme. I think she's OD'ing on her medication."

"Get her to the hospital, NOW!" he yelled at me.

"I don't know if she'll make it that long." I said to him.

"I'll be there in just a minute," he said as he hung up the phone.

I ran to the sink and poured her a glass of water and took it back to her. I held her head up and tried to get her to drink it. "Come on, Esme. Edward needs you! Wake up!" I yelled at her while slightly tapping her cheek. There was no response.

Why did all of these bad things constantly have to happen to this family!? I didn't know what had pushed her to this point. I knew she was depressed, but what had made her take that many pills? There were hardly any left in the bottle. I picked Esme up and put her on her bed. I didn't know what to do. There wasn't anything I could do.

Carlisle came bursting into the bedroom and ran directly over to Esme. "Darling, what have you done?" He sobbed tearlessly.

I walked over to Edward and put my arms around him. He was crying on the floor and saying, "no" over and over again.

Carlisle was checking out Esme's vital signs and quietly said, "Bella?" I let go of Edward and walked over to Carlisle.

"What is it Dad?" I asked.

"I… I don't think she's going to make it. I can't get her to the hospital fast enough and I don't have the tools necessary to pump her stomach, plus I don't even know how long she's been out. I hate to ask you, but…" he trailed off. I knew what he was asking me. I knew he wanted me to change her. I looked over at Edward, still sitting in the floor, but was now looking at me. I hated to do this to Edward. He was slowly losing all of his family. His brother… his sister… now his mother. I walked over to him and looked in his eyes. He was still crying. I put my hands on both sides of his face, while looking deeply in his eyes.

"Do you want me too?" I asked him. He nodded. I saw the pain and hurt in his eyes, but knew that he didn't want to really lose his mother. So, I kissed him before getting up to walk over to Esme.

I looked at my father. So many thoughts were running through my head. I was thinking about what would have happened if we had told her about us in the beginning. How different would the outcome have been? I leaned over Esme and kissed her cheek. I hadn't had much time to spend with her. She always seemed like such a loving woman. I listened and could hear her heart beat. It was so slow, I was almost afraid that the change wouldn't have enough time to take effect. She was slowly dying right in front of us.

I picked up her wrist and bit into the flesh on the inside. I slowly sucked some of the blood out and it tasted strange. I guessed it was all of the medication she had taken. I bit into her other wrist and did the same thing. Then I bent next to her face and whispered, "I'm so sorry we caused all of your pain," then bit into her neck. She never once whimpered, screamed, or even acknowledged she was being bitten. I just hoped I had put enough venom in her blood stream to help with the change. Carlisle stood by and watched the whole time.

I was actually proud of myself. I was able to chain down the bloodlust monster inside of me. I walked over to the bathroom to clean up my face. I still wasn't that great at not getting blood on me and I didn't want Edward to see that. I knew he had seen me change Alice, but this was his mother. He didn't need to see that. I came out of the bathroom and Carlisle was lying on the bed with Esme, stroking her hair and face. It was such an intimate moment between them that I felt like I was invading. Edward had already left the room, so I quietly let myself out. I found him in their music room playing on the piano. He was playing the song I named "Good Enough" that we were going to be playing at the performance. I loved watching him play the piano. It was like his fingers just glided over the keys; like he was caressing them. I shuddered when I remembered his finger's gliding over my skin. The bloodlust was calmed down, but my regular lust for him couldn't be squelched. I walked over and sat next to him on the bench. He finished the song and just sat there with his hands in his lap.

He turned his head to face me and had such a sad look in his eyes. "What about now?" he asked me. I didn't know what he was asking me.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to change me now?"

I didn't know what to say. I knew it would be the logical choice. He had lost his whole family to my family. I still didn't want to take away his choices though. "I… I can't," I whispered.

"Why not?" he asked me just as quietly.

"Edward, I told you before. I don't want to do that to you. You deserve so much more in life than to become one of us. I just don't feel comfortable doing that to you."

"What about the song? I've been thinking about the lyrics you came up with for the song. You kept saying, 'I can't say no to you', but that's what you're doing. Why?"

He had me there. I didn't want to say no to him. I wanted him to become a vampire and spend all of eternity with me, like what Jasper, Rosalie, and now Carlisle was getting. I just didn't want to DO that to him. I wanted him to have a full and happy 'regular' life.

"I just wish you could understand. It isn't as great as you think it is. Have I told you about the Volturi?"

"No, I don't think so."

"The Volturi are pretty much vampire royalty. They try to keep all of the vampires in the world from running amuck. If a vampire gets out of control with feeding on humans, the Volturi send out some of their guards to take care of the situation. Sometimes even the Volturi themselves go if the situation warrants it. The Volturi are three very powerful vampires that have been around for thousands of years, Marcus, Caius, and Aro. Aro is more like the leader, while Marcus and Caius are the minds behind the power. They try to keep vampires from outing ourselves. We are not supposed to let humans know about us under any circumstances. If they find out, they come to find the human and kill them."

Edward sits and thinks about what I just told him and then says, "Well, wouldn't that put me in the 'to be changed' column? What if the Volturi found out that I knew? Wouldn't they send someone to kill me?"

"You have nothing to worry about. I would never let anything happen to you. They won't come for you." I just hoped that I was right. If the Volturi came to kill Edward I would fight to the death. There would be nothing that could stop me.

* * *

**EN: Well, I hope that you guys liked this chapter. Please review. Til next time!**


	34. Ch 34: Away From Home

**AN: I don't have much to say today. Just that this chapter contains a little bit of citrus-y goodness toward the end, so if you aren't old enough...then don't read it. My beta-Jadiona is incredibly awesome. If you haven't checked out any of her stories, then you should do that. She's the bestest! :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters from Twilight, but I do like playing with them...they make the cutest sounds. LOL**

* * *

Chapter 34 – Away from Home

**Em POV  
**

Alice and I had been playing the Wii all day long. Thankfully, Carlisle had bought extra Wii remotes, because we were going through them like water in a desert. I still had problems controlling my strength, but I was getting better. Alice on the other hand, well, she's never had much strength anyway, so she had no idea how to hold back. She kept crushing the poor remotes.

We had been having such a blast all day long, laughing, joking, and fighting. We were finishing up our last game, when I heard a car door slam. I walked over to the window, but didn't see any car's in the driveway. That was odd. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was almost time for everyone to get home from school. I'm not going to lie. I was glad that I didn't have to go to school anymore. At least not for right now. Carlisle kept telling us that eventually we would have to go back to high school just like Jasper, Rose, and Bella but that would be after a couple of years. I was fucking ecstatic!

Alice and I kept playing the Wii but we moved over to a different game. She wanted to play Super Mario, so I indulged her. I was more for the war games, but she liked playing the cute shit. Whatever… it was still fun.

Jasper and Rose walked in the door a little bit later, without Bella or Edward. I hoped that they figured their shit out. I just wish I could have been a fly on the wall the day before when Bella pulled Tonya outside. Bella could be a spit-fire when she got riled up. We put up the game and all of us went hunting for a little bit. I loved that shit. It was so much fun chasing and killing the animals. I still held a grudge against the bears so I tried to find them when we went hunting.

After our hunting expedition we were on our way back home, when Jasper's cell phone rang. I loved our new abilities. I could hear the conversation on the phone almost like they were right here talking. It was Bella.

Bella: Jasper, I don't know when we're going to be home.

Jasper: Why not? What happened?

Bella: It's Esme.

I just about flew out of my skin. What was wrong with my mom?

Jasper: What about Esme?

Bella: She OD'd on her depression pills. I… I had to change her.

Jasper: *gasp* When? Why?

Bella: Edward and I came here after school and found her collapsed on the floor. I called Carlisle and he told me to get her to the hospital, but she must have been like that for a while. I don't know what caused her to do it. Well, other than the obvious, but her bedroom was a mess; like she went berserk.

Jasper: Okay, well, keep us updated.

After Jasper got off the phone, Alice was standing next to me holding my arm and sobbing tearlessly. I put my arm around her and pulled her into a hug.

"Jasper, we have to go see her."

"You can't. You can't leave the house. What if someone saw you? How would we be able to explain that?" he answered me.

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!! We need to see our mom, NOW!!" I yelled at him.

Rose came over and put her hand on my shoulder and just nodded. Rose was the best thing to ever happen to me. I loved her with all of my heart. I knew she would side with me on this. Alice just kept sobbing as I pulled her back to the house.

**BPOV**

I walked into Esme's bedroom to check on her. Carlisle was still there lying on the bed with her. I could see the physical changes already taking place on her. Her complexion was already paling. She looked so peaceful. I smiled at Carlisle and stepped back out of the bedroom.

I called Jasper to fill him in on what had happened. Then I went to Edward's bedroom. I walked in and he was lying back on his bed. I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. Even with everything else happening around us, I knew we still needed to talk about what had happened between us yesterday. I tried to broach the subject easily, "So, um… yesterday, I hope you're not still mad at me."

"No, I wasn't really mad at you, it just bothered me… that's all."

"Can I ask why it bothered you?"

He ran his hand through his hair, "Yeah, well, I guess it was just like you're… I don't know… trying to pick my friends for me."

"Edward, you should know that's not it! I saw her touch you and the look on your face. You… you were grimacing. I thought you didn't want to talk to her. Or have her touch you."

"Yeah, I guess I did grimace, but after everything that had happened between her and me, I have a right to grimace," He said loudly.

"Exactly, so why would you even want to talk to her? I don't get that!"

"Bella, I've known her almost my whole life. Yeah, what she did was fucked up, but still… she's a friend. She was offering her condolences about my brother, who isn't actually dead."

I was getting pissed. Why would he take up for her after all the shit she had put us through? "Friends don't fuck you and leave you, Edward."

I knew after the words flew out of my mouth that I had gone too far. I saw him recoil as my words hit him. I hated the fact that I caused that. "I'm sorry, that was going too far," I said to him.

"No, you're right; friends don't fuck you and leave you. I know… but with her, it's just how she is. She was that way with Emmett before me. She's been that way with just about all the guys in the school."

"And that makes it alright? You knew she was like that before you got in a relationship with her and yet it's okay for her to treat you like that? I just don't get it."

"Don't worry about it. She won't play me again. I learned my lesson."

"How can I not worry about it, Edward? I don't want you to get hurt again, and I can tell you right now, if she fucks with you then I won't hold back. I can't stand by and watch her do that again. She's fucked with us too much."

Then I heard the door downstairs open. Why could Edward and I never actually finish a conversation without being interrupted? I told Edward that someone was here and we both started out of his room, when Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie started up the steps.

I was so surprised that they were all here. Emmett wasn't supposed to leave our house unless it was to go hunting. Emmett and Alice pushed past, Edward and me, and ran to Esme's bedroom. Carlisle came out when Alice and Emmett went into the bedroom Edward went in behind them. Carlisle, Jasper, Rose and I went downstairs to try and give them some privacy.

"What the hell is Emmett doing here?" Carlisle asked.

"He wanted to see his mother. Can you blame him? He just found out that she almost died. I couldn't tell him no, Carlisle. It just wouldn't have been right," Rosalie told him.

Carlisle nodded and then turned to look at me, "What are we going to do about Edward?"

"What do you mean what are we going to do about Edward? What are we supposed to do?"

"His whole family has been turned into vampires. How does he feel about that?" Carlisle asked.

"He wants to be changed," I said quietly.

"Well?"

I jerked my head up and glared at Carlisle. "Well, what!? What do you want me to do? Change him? Just because his family is now vampires? How is that right?!"

"Bella, calm down, you changed his family… what's wrong with changing him?" Carlisle questioned.

I really wish they wouldn't ask these questions of me. "I only turned them because they would have died. I changed Emmett for Rosalie. I changed Esme for you! I didn't even change Alice… that was James. I just helped with the process." I looked at each of them in turn.

"Bella, I know that you did that for each of us… but why can't you change Edward…for you?"

"H… how can you even ask me that? I don't want to take away his choices, Dad. It just isn't right. I can't change him just because I want him forever. How is that right? That would be the most selfish thing anyone could ever do. I can't do that to him. He deserves a family… a life." I looked at Rosalie. I just knew that she would back me up in this. She knew what it was like to have our choices taken away from us, but she wouldn't look me in the eye. She hung her head and looked at the floor. "Rose?" I asked.

"I don't know Bella. If you don't change him, you still take away his choice of having his family; his brother, his sister, his mother. For God's sake Bella, why not? You love him… go ahead and change him. Let's just get it the fuck over with and move from this fucking town, so we don't have to hide them anymore. Emmett is about to go insane being cooped up in the house all the time. What are you going to do? Leave him? Let him grow old while loving you? Do you want to watch him get old, while you stay young and beautiful? What do you think people will think in 40 years from now when he is old and grey haired, loving on an 18 year old bombshell? Do you want to go through that? What about when he dies? How do you think you will survive that? Don't bullshit me Bella, how do you plan on loving him while he grows old?"

I sat down heavily on the steps. I hated Rose in that moment. She had just voiced all of my fears. I didn't know how I was going to cope without Edward forever, but I couldn't get it to make sense in my mind to change him. I wanted to be with him forever, but I wanted him to be happy… happy with a full life, with children. How can I give him both? I can't. I know he wants to be changed, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Well, Bella? How do you plan on doing it? Surviving without him?" Rose asked again.

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! Alright!?! Are you happy now?? I don't know. I want him, yes, forever. I just want him to be happy!!"

"Bella, who says he won't be happy as a vampire? Why can't you see that will fix all of your issues with this? If you just change him, then you won't have to worry about him growing old and dying. If you won't do it, then I will," Rose stated.

I jumped up and got into a defensive crouch. "Don't you fucking dare, Rosalie. I will not hesitate to fight you on this. Just leave it be… just leave us be. Don't fuck with me on this," I snarled.

"Fine, I won't change him… yet. But if you don't do it soon I will… and if not me, then Jasper or Carlisle. Hell, even Esme, Emmett, Alice… any of us could change him. You can't fight and kill all of us just to keep him human."

I snarled again and almost lashed out, but I felt a wave of calm rush over me. I jerked my head around to look at Jasper and growled. Carlisle said, "Stop… all of you. It isn't a decision that needs to be made right now. Isabella, just think about it. That's all we're asking of you."

I stood up from my crouch and nodded. I knew I was being irrational. I did need time to think this over. It wasn't like he was going to die tomorrow. I could wait to change him until he was in his 20's, that way he didn't constantly have to go to school with us. I knew if I had, had a choice, I would have preferred being changed later than 18.

Edward came downstairs a little bit later. Emmett and Alice wanted more time with Esme. He walked over to me and asked me, "Are you going to be staying tonight?"

"If you would like for me to," I answered.

"Yeah, I think I would like that." We walked up to his bedroom after I said my goodnight's to my family. I was still upset about the conversation my family and I had, but I still loved them; they would always be my family.

While Edward went to get ready for bed, I turned on his IPod to find some music for us to listen to. I turned on "Bad Girlfriend" by Theory of a Deadman. I think that Tyler's voice is so sexy, and rough.

Edward walked in and stopped when he heard the music playing.

"I didn't know you liked Theory of a Deadman," he said.

"Well, I'm sure that there is quite a bit you don't know about me." I smirked at him.

He shook his head and had that half grin on his face that I so loved. I patted a spot next to me on the bed, and crooked my finger at him to tell him to come to me. He laughed at me and walked over. When he sat down I grabbed his hand and pulled it up to place a kiss in the center of his palm. I loved the warmth of his skin. It was so soothing to me. I wanted a care-free night together, even though his mother was turning into a vampire in the next room. I know… crazy shit, but hey, what can I say. He deserved to have a night off from all the supernatural shit. It was just crazy that his whole family had been turned in the span of only a week. It was like the shit had hit the fan and just splattered all over everything.

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry about everything that's happened to you, since I've came into your life." I told him.

He pulled my face up to have our lips meet. "It's fine. If it weren't for you, I would have lost my brother to a bear, my sister to a crazy vampire, and my mother to depression. Because of you, I still have my whole family."

I just smiled at him… I wouldn't argue with him tonight.

I started drawing circles in the palm of his hand with my finger. I crawled around behind him and he looked at me over his shoulder. "Relax," I said.

I started kneading his shoulders with enough pressure to help loosen his muscles. I heard him sigh and lean back into my touch. I started kissing on the side of his neck where his pulse point was. His blood was beating against my lips. I opened my mouth and licked. He gasped and shuddered. I licked up his neck to his ear.

I put my lips on his ear and sucked on it a little bit, but not using my teeth. He jerked around and caught my mouth in his; his tongue battling with mine. It was like a battle for dominance. I put my hands in his hair and he moaned as I tugged.

I loved making him moan. It had to be the sexiest sound ever. I ran my hands over his toned chest, down his six-pack abs, to the top of his shorts and started to tug on them. He put his hands on mine, and said, "You don't have to do that."

**EPOV  
**

I don't know why the fuck I just said that. I know I want it. I'm pretty sure she knew that I wanted it. I just didn't want her to think I was taking advantage of her. We still had shit we had to work out. I knew that she was just being protective of me with Tonya, but it still didn't make it alright. It felt like we never got to finish a conversation, but with so much shit that had happened, I didn't really feel like getting into it again.

Then she purred, "But what if I want to? I want to make you forget your problems for just a little while."

I ran my hands up her arms to the sides of her neck. I pulled her up to me. I wanted her so bad I could taste it. I ran my tongue over her bottom lip. She tasted so good. "Mmmmm… fuck you taste good." I mumbled. She giggled. She hardly ever giggles. I loved hearing that sound come from her.

I attacked her mouth with a fierceness I hadn't ever felt before. I wanted her so much right then that I thought I would die without her. I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her down to where she was lying underneath me. I ground my hard cock into her hip. She felt so fucking good. I started nibbling down her neck to the top of her shirt. I pulled on it and ripped it off of her. I needed to see her. I needed to touch her. I kissed down her chest to the swells of her breast.

I tugged the cup of her bra down under her nipple and licked her nipple. It was like licking an ice cube that tasted like strawberries. I couldn't get enough of it. I ran my hands up and down her body while she writhed underneath me and moaned. She sat up and tugged on my shirt to make me lay down. She pulled my shirt over my head, not rough like I had, but slowly and tortuously, because she kissed each inch of skin on my stomach that made an appearance as she pulled it up. I loved the feel of her lips on my skin. Once the shirt was over my head, she placed her hands in my wild hair and gripped it hard while crushing my face to hers. She ground her hips into mine. She started kissing back down my chest and abs while working on the buttons on my shorts. I lifted my ass off of the bed while she tugged them down. My dick was straining against my blue boxer briefs. She brushed her fingertips over the bulge and it twitched.

She pulled off my underwear and I swear I heard my dick scream 'Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' She bent over my groin and held my dick in her hands, while licking her lips, then looked up at me through her eyelashes. I could only groan. I wanted it so bad. I wanted her mouth on my cock.

As soon as I thought that last notion, she licked the head. I shivered, because honestly it was like putting an ice cube on it. It wasn't just her body that was cold; her mouth was as well. She started sucking on just the tip and the coldness faded away into pleasure. I had my back up against some pillows so I could easily see what she was doing to me. I loved watching her give me head. It was one of the best sights ever. She was taking as much of me into her mouth as she could, but worked the rest with her hand in perfect synchronization. I couldn't believe the skill with which she worked, but I guess 40 years of practice really teaches you something. Wait…scratch that…I didn't want to think about her making anyone else feel this good.

I watched her working me over for a while longer, but couldn't hold out anymore. I grabbed her by the back of the head by her hair and pulled up. She glanced up at me again through her eyelashes and shook her head no a tiny bit. I came forceful in her mouth while she swallowed each and every last drop. She leaned up and licked her lips then placed them on my forehead. I was spent. I could barely move after that. She took so much out of me, that I fell asleep with her humming 'our song' and stroking my hair.

* * *

**EN: Well I hope you liked it. If not, well...sorry. :) I love getting your reviews... whether they're good - bad - or indifferent. *shrugs* oh well...til next time! :)**


	35. Ch 35: Introductions

**AN: I don't know about you guys, but I'm really freakin' excited for the New Moon movie...I have my midnight showing tickets...do you? Are you planning on seeing it opening day? Or are you going to wait for a bit? I'll probably end up seeing it multiple times...oh well...gotta love some Rob! :) Oh and gotta love my beta-Jadiona. She keeps me happy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight...but I did DVR the interview between Oprah and Stephanie Meyer...it was pretty good! :)**

**Another thing...I don't know if you've heard about Fandom Gives Back, but their auctions started today. The money donated is going to Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation. There is a group of ladies that have decided to place an auction on all kinds of items...whether it's bidding on a story or O/S from your favorite author's, autographed items from the Twilight Saga stars, banners for your own stories, there is even an auction item for a weekend getaway. There are some first come first serve auctions as well as regular bidding auctions. Like I said it started today, but it lasts until 11/20. I hope you'll check it out. It definitely goes to a great cause.**

**The website is www (.) ****thefandomgivesback (.) com Thanks again...**

**Here is the next chapter of The Tempted Lioness. I hope you like it...it focuses mainly on Esme's transformation. :) Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 35 – Introductions

**CPOV**

I had been sitting here with Esme for some time now. She was starting to complete the change. It really was something to watch. Her form filled out bit by bit as the venom worked its way through her system. Since she had stopped eating for basically the past week, her figure had slimmed down so the venom was healing her muscles. Watching her face change to the smooth, perfect paleness of a vampire's skin was fascinating to me. She was beautiful to me before, but now she was perfect. I knew she would be upset when she woke up, but it didn't matter as long as I had forever with her.

Her heart beat silenced, her breathing stilled and I waited. When her eyelids started to flutter I couldn't help but feel excited. I would be with her forever. I would be able to show her everything there was to know about being a vampire. I would take her places she had never been before. I would marry this woman, who I loved more than my own existence itself. She sighed softly, like she was just waking from a refreshing nap. Then her eyes flew open and she gasped. She jumped back and fell into a defensive crouch.

"What?" she said, and then looked startled, grabbing at her throat. I knew how big of a shock it was to hear how your own voice changed. It must have been more so for her, especially since she had no idea about vampires in the first place.

I held my hands up in a surrendering position to let her know that I would not harm her. I spoke softly, "Esme, darling, please sit down. I have so much to explain to you."

I knew this would not go over well, so I quietly called to Jasper; and Jasper alone. I didn't want her to see Emmett yet, I was afraid that would be too much to handle at one time. Jasper knocked on the door and opened it. He saw the look of terror on Esme's face and I felt the wave of calm he exuded throughout the room. Esme quickly jumped up out of the defensive crouch, but did not move to sit down. I walked slowly over to her and reached for her hand. I wanted to touch her. She jerked her hand back from me, and I admit…it hurt. "Don't worry honey, it's still me. Do you remember what happened before?"

She cocked her head to the side with a confused expression on her face. "Before what?" she asked.

"Well, before you woke up." I didn't want to just jump into telling her what she now was.

"I… I thought I was going crazy. I finally decided to stop burying myself in my grief over Emmett, and went to your house. It was after school and I figured Alice and Edward would come to your house. I hadn't been the best company for them, and I knew they were giving me my own space. I wanted to see them… to talk to them. When I got to your house I didn't see their cars and I didn't know if you were home, so I walked up the porch," she laughed darkly then, "I swore I heard… I heard Emmett laugh. I walked to the window and looked in, and I thought I saw him and Alice playing games. I knew then that I was crazy. Alice should have been in school… Emmett… well, Emmett shouldn't have been there. I came home and needed an escape. I didn't want to be crazy. I wanted to just go back into the oblivion I was in before, so I took some of the pills you gave me. I don't know how many I took. Then I woke up here with you…" she trailed off.

I couldn't believe she had seen Emmett. I thought we were being so careful, I never expected her to come to our house. It was a stupid oversight. I could only imagine the agony she must have been in when she saw him. I felt another wave of calm from Jasper and gave him a small smile. I could not imagine the emotions he must be feeling from her.

"Esme, can you please sit down?" I asked her. She walked over to the seating area in her bedroom and sat down. I sat next to her and grabbed her hand. This time she didn't pull away.

"Carlisle, what the hell happened to me? Why do I sound so different? Why do I feel different? What is wrong with me?" she asked in a rush of words.

I looked over at Jasper who was still standing in the corner. I knew he was sticking around to help with Esme's emotions, but also in case she got… out of hand. "Jasper, can you bring me the hand-held mirror?" He nodded and brought it over while smiling at Esme.

I silently handed the mirror to her, "Look in the mirror and tell me what you see."

She slowly grabbed the mirror out of my extended hand and brought it up to her face. She gasped when she saw herself and threw the mirror while jumping out of the seat. "What – what happened?" she asked shakily.

"Esme, you almost died. We had to take drastic measures. If we hadn't done anything, then you would have died. Darling, we aren't what we appear to be; my whole family. We… we are not human." I was having such a hard time telling her about us and I didn't know why. Maybe it was because I loved her so much already and I was afraid she would be devastated by what we had turned her into. Maybe it was because I felt selfish for asking Bella to change her.

"What do you mean, you are not human? What the hell are you?"

"We are of the supernatural kind. We are… vampires."

She sat down heavily on the sofa.

"We aren't the vampires you see in movies though. We only drink animal blood, not human."

She glared daggers at me. I decided to finish what I had started even if I lost the love of my existence. "I had Isabella change you when I knew you would not survive from the overdose. You are now a vampire… immortal."

She started sobbing. I rushed over to her. I knew this was a lot for her to take in, but I didn't know why she was crying… wait… she was crying real tears. Was this an effect of Bella changing her, since Bella had cried real tears? When I got to her side, she jumped up and ran to the other side of the room with vampire speed. I felt a wave of calm wash through the room, I was thankful to have Jasper here with me. She kept crying. "Darling, Esme, why are you crying?"

"Why did you have to save me?! What if I wanted to die?! You couldn't save my son, why me?! WHY ME!?" she wailed.

My dead heart ached for her in that moment. She still thought that Emmett was dead; that she had hallucinated it all. I should have known that we were going about this whole situation the wrong way. I glanced over at Jasper and he nodded, leaving the room. He knew just as well as I did what would make this–transition–easier for Esme.

**EmPOV**

We were sitting outside trying to give Carlisle some privacy with our mom, Alice had been so distraught when we found out that Mom had almost died. Now we were just waiting for her to wake up and then I could see her. I hadn't seen her in what felt like such a horribly long time. Jasper walked out of the house, "Emmett, can you come inside?"

Alice ran over to him, "Is everything okay? Is she awake?"

"Yes, she's awake, but she's very upset about what she's just learned. I think it would be best if she just saw Emmett first. Is that okay?" he asked Alice.

She nodded, "Yes, I can see her in a little bit. It would probably be better for her to see only Emmett. She has been so upset since he… went missing. She doesn't even know about me… does she?" Alice looked so sad at that. I knew she was hurting because our mother hadn't even realized that Alice had been missing as well. She had only been focusing on losing me.

"No, she doesn't know about you yet, Ali. I'm sure she'll be glad to see you though… she's missed you," Jasper said.

I waited on Jasper to come upstairs with me. I didn't know what to do. Do I just walk right on in without her knowing about me? How will she react to knowing I'm not really dead? I wanted to wrap my mother in my arms and hug the ever loving shit out of her. She had been the best mom a guy could ever ask for.

Jasper and I walked quickly into the house. I could hear humming and slight breathing coming from Edward's room. I assumed he was sleeping and Bella was with him.

We walked up to my mother's bedroom door and Jasper knocked. He motioned for me to wait a second. I heard Carlisle's voice, "Esme, I have someone I think you will be happy to see. Come in, please."

I pushed open the door and saw my mother standing on the far side of the room, Carlisle standing close to her. Jasper was standing to the side of the door. I couldn't believe it. She was beautiful. I mean sure she was beautiful before, but now, she was just stunning. Her hair had the beautiful shine of vampire's perfect hair; her face was smooth, with the perfect complexion of a vampire. I walked slowly into the room and she fell to the ground sobbing, "Make it stop! Why do I keep fucking seeing him!?!?"

I couldn't believe it, my mom just said fuck. It would have been funny if she wasn't wracked with sobs on the floor of her bedroom. I rushed over to her and pulled her onto my lap in the floor. I pressed her head to my shoulder shushing her. "Shh… mom… it's me. It's Emmett. Please calm down. I'm here."

She finally stopped crying and looked up at me. She hesitantly raised her hand to my face and traced my jaw. She ran her fingertip over my nose. I smiled at her and she grabbed me into a huge hug. "Oh Emmett! My sweet baby boy! I was so lost… so scared. I… I," she started sobbing again.

I kissed her on the cheek. "Mom, I'm so sorry… I'm sorry we didn't tell you before. They thought it would be for the best."

"Oh honey, I'm just glad that you are okay. How are you? I've missed you so much. How did they change you?" she asked quietly.

"I did get attacked by the bear. I was almost dead, but Rosie… she brought me back to the Cullen's house. Isabella changed me. She saved my life mom, just like you."

She wrapped me into another crushing hug. I pulled back from her and just looked at her face. I had missed her too. "Mom, there's something else you need to know." She looked at me doubtfully. "Alice…," I said. I knew my sister would be able to hear me from downstairs. I heard her foot falls on the steps coming up the stairs. Alice knocked lightly on the door and Jasper went to open the door. She walked in with her head hung down low. I knew she had missed our mom too, but it was probably harder on her, because she had been neglected for the whole time I'd been 'missing' from our mother. When our mom saw Alice at the doorway, she gasped and stood up.

"Alice?" our mom said.

**APOV**

I missed my mom so much. I knew she was so distressed by the loss of Emmett, but it was like she completely forgot about Edward and me. We used to always go shopping together or talk about the boys at school. She knew how I felt about Jasper. She never once questioned my ability or made me feel out of place because of it. She was my mother and best friend, and when we lost Emmett, I lost her. When she said my name… it was like she had finally remembered me. I couldn't look at her. I was so mad at her for trying to leave us… what would have happened if Edward and Bella hadn't made it home in time? Why hadn't I seen what she was going to do? I hated the inconsistencies of my visions. If they were going to fail me in keeping my mother safe, then what else could they fail me at? I heard her coming toward me at a slow pace. I slowly raised my head and looked at my mother. She was so gorgeous. She gasped when she looked at my face. She didn't know that I too had been changed. She had no idea that she had slept through the attack that changed me. She grabbed my face with both of her hands and kissed me on the cheek. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I abandoned you and I'm so sorry. What happened?"

I fell into her arms. I may have been mad at her, but I loved my mother. "Oh mom… I missed you so much!"

"Baby, I missed you too."

I told her about James attacking me, but left out that she was here when it happened. Then I told her that Bella had helped me through the change. I would be forever grateful to her for doing that for me. From what Jasper had told me about his change, it was a horrific experience… one I'm glad that I didn't have to endure.

We all sat around talking until early the next morning, well, all except Bella and Edward. We had told mom that Edward still hadn't been changed. She seemed happy to hear that. I guess she wanted at least one of us to live a normal life.

**EPOV**

I woke up to hearing Bella still humming to me. I didn't know if she had done that all night or not, but it was wonderful to hear her. She was laying there on her elbow with her head in her hand. She looked down at me and smiled. "Good morning sunshine," she said.

"Mmmm, good morning. Did you stay here all night humming?" I asked her.

She just nodded and said, "Yeah. Someone woke up last night."

I sat up quickly. "Really? Can I see her? How is she?" I asked in a rush. I was so happy that my mom was awake. I really hoped that they didn't want to keep me from seeing her.

Bella just chuckled and pulled me out of the bed. I put on a t-shirt and shorts. "Come on," she said.

We walked out into the hall and Carlisle was standing there waiting for us. He just smiled at me and motioned for me to walk into the room. I saw my mother sitting on the floor with Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. I was secretly jealous that they all got to spend all night together while I was sleeping. No one thought to wake me up? My mother was stunning. She looked so much better now, than the last time I had seen her. She stood up slowly and just looked at me. I wanted to run over to her and give her a hug, but I knew that with her being a new vampire it was a testy situation. I stepped toward her slowly and she copied my movements. We were finally standing in front of one another within reaching distance. She raised her hand and placed it on the side of my face. "Oh my sweet Edward, I'm so sorry."

I broke down sobbing. I knew she was sad because of how she had acted since Emmett had been missing, but it didn't really matter to me. She was still my mother and I loved her. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed.

"It's okay Mom, as long as you're here now, that's all that matters. I love you," I said to her. I was just glad that she hadn't died from the overdose. I hated to think about our lives without her in it. I stepped to the side of her, but with my arm still around her shoulders. I turned around and saw that Bella was standing the same way with Carlisle. She smiled at me so sweetly. I was so happy that our families were so close. If it hadn't been for the Cullen's my whole family would have been destroyed.

**Esme POV**

I finally had my whole family back together; Emmett, Alice and Edward. I was so glad that I finally got out of my disillusioned state of mind. We sat around and talked for a little while longer, before Bella and Edward left to get ready for school. Edward argued and argued about staying home today to spend time with me, but I made him go. I wouldn't have him skipping anymore school because of everything that had been going on. Alice and Emmett would eventually go back to school, but obviously not right now. I just didn't know how to pull off Alice not going to school. I'm sure Carlisle would come up with something.

I should be mad at Carlisle because of everything that had happened but he saved my son, my daughter and me. How can you be mad at that? Carlisle was even more beautiful now that I had clearer vision. I could see no flaws in his face. Carlisle took me on my first hunt. He wanted it to be just us. I felt silly running after a deer and taking it down. The blood from the deer tasted so warm and salty, I was lost in the moment of feeding, but then I heard a low growl from behind me. The noise came from Carlisle. He had this look in his eyes that was pure lust. I didn't understand it. He stalked towards me and honestly I was a little scared. I had no idea what to expect.

* * *

**EN: Well...whatcha think!? Was it okay? Please let me know. I love getting them! :) I have a question...if I wrote a shorter story, would you read it? I have the first two chapters written; it will probably only be about 4 or 5 chapters. Let me know! :) If I get enough people to say they'll read it I'll post it tomorrow! :) Love you guys! you have no idea how much! Til next time! :)**


	36. Ch 36: Phone Call

**A/N: Thank you so much for getting me to 196 reviews. You guys are just awesome...seriously. There is a little bitty lemon on here between Carlisle and Esme. It's not too graphic because it would just be weird to hear Carlisle talking about his cock, or Esme about her lady bits...just...weird. Anywho...I'm going to go ahead and post my other story that I've been working on in my spare time. It won't be updated quite as often as this story, cause this one is my baby. I love it too much to put it on hold. My other story will be called Dreaming, like I said it's a short story...probably only be about 4 or 5 chapters...JSYK. **

**My wonderful beta is so on top of her game with reviewing my story and writing her 10 wonderful stories at the same time. You should definitely check her out. :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not claim to nor never will own Twilight. Those honors belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

* * *

**Chapter 36 – Phone Call**

**CPOV**

I watched Esme stalk and attack the deer that was to be her meal. I had never seen anything so sensual. Of course I had seen Bella and Rosalie hunt before, but this was different. Bella and Rosalie were my children, Esme was my mate. Even if we had done nothing before but kiss, I knew she was the one for me. She was so lithe and agile; her body moved so swiftly. She looked like an angel with her fawn colored hair flowing behind her. I finally found my other half, after 300 plus years. I watched her finish off the deer while lust filled me to overflowing. I wanted her fully in that moment. I couldn't stop myself. I started stalking her through the woods and she looked scared. My inner monster didn't care at that moment. I wanted nothing but her.

I caught up with her and pulled her into my arms. Holding her head back by her hair I ravished her mouth, still tasting the blood from the deer. Pulling her to the ground I rolled over on top of her, and looked deeply into her eyes. I pressed my hard member into her hip. Nothing could stop me now; I pulled the shirt off of her back and licked down her neck to the valley between her breasts while massaging her perfect breasts. She moaned my name and grabbed my hair pulling my face back up to meet hers. She kissed me with so much energy and love that I lost the breath I didn't even need. I pulled up her skirt and pushed aside her silk panties. I could smell the scent of her arousal and it caused the monster in me to snarl. I had, had other lovers before, but never of this magnitude. I slowly entered her magnificent folds, and fit perfectly inside of her, loving the feel of her surround me. I felt the inner walls contract around my penis, then and only then did I allow myself to fall after her into the oblivion of absolute bliss. After we were spent and hearing her calling out my name in passion, we laid on the grass giggling and talking like teenagers after their first time.

"Carlisle, I have never felt that way before…it was amazing," she said to me.

"My Darling, it will never be any different between us. I love you and want to be with you forever. Please say you'll marry me. I want you by my side for eternity."

"Oh Carlisle, yes, of course. I love you… and eternity without you would be pointless. Yes."

We kissed and made love so sweetly together that I knew that there would never be another for me.

**BPOV**

School was always so boring, learning the same things over and over again. I only paid enough attention to know what the assignments were to be about for homework, and finished it before the day was over. I hated taking time out of my evenings and nights to work on meaningless school work. I sat and wondered about the Masen's future; our future. We would have to move very soon because it was hard enough to have Emmett die, but now with Alice not being able to go to school, and Esme not showing up for work, people would start to ask questions, especially since Edward was still attending. I kept thinking about lies to tell about Alice and Esme's disappearance, while leaving room for Edward to remain here. It would be difficult, but hopefully we could make it work.

I was pleasantly surprised about their control of their bloodlust. I had never expected to have an underlying ability to help others through the change to becoming immortal. Carlisle had told me that I had had an exceptional control over it, but to pass that on to other vampires, well, that was something I didn't expect.

I saw Tonya in the halls at school and she just smirked at me. I didn't even give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her. She could rot in hell for all I cared. I wasn't planning on doing anything else to cause any more rifts between Edward and I. If he wanted to be friends with that skank, well it was his choice. I didn't have to like it, but I couldn't do anything about it, until she fucked up, and I just knew she would.

At lunch, Rose, Jasper, Edward and I sat at our own table as usual, but Tonya walked over and asked to sit with us. Edward told her it would be fine if she sat with us. I knew he wanted to still be friends with her, and I was trying so hard to be nice, but I could feel the anger burning up inside of me. Jasper pushed a wave of happiness over to me. I started laughing. I couldn't help it… Jasper must have pushed really hard. I was just cracking up. Rose and Jasper both started snickering at me. Edward looked at me like I was crazy, with one eyebrow raised and I fucking snorted. He started cracking up and pulled me into his arms and whispered, "Did you just snort? That was fucking cute." I couldn't stop laughing. I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard. Tonya just stared at me and I shrugged while laughing even harder.

Everyone in the cafeteria was looking at our table trying to figure out what was so funny. There was no joke; no one shot milk out of their noses… I just couldn't stop. I got up from the table and ran outside. I stopped once I got to the corner of the building holding my sides. I was laughing so hard that my sides were actually hurting. Edward came out and stopped right behind me rubbing my back, "What's going on?" he said while chuckling too.

"I-I d-don't know!" I said while still laughing. If it was Jasper the effects should have worn off by now. I just felt so fucking happy. He pulled me into his arms and I could feel his shoulders moving up and down while he laughed with me.

Then he pulled back and looked into my eyes. "I love it when you laugh. You don't do it nearly enough." When I looked into his eyes, I lost all rational thought. I stopped laughing. What I saw in his eyes was pure love. I could see how much he loved me in his eyes. I rose up on my tiptoes and brushed my lips across his. It knocked the breath out of me to see that in his eyes. I know he told me that he loved me, but that was the first time I really saw it; so pure and unadulterated. I didn't want to let him go… ever.

He noticed the change in me and gave me a questioning look. "Bella?" he said. I just smiled at him and gave him a huge hug. He nuzzled my neck and I could feel him smile. I didn't want to say anything to him yet. I needed to talk to Carlisle and Esme.

O~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**EPOV**

At lunch, Tonya walked up to our table and asked if we minded if she sat with us. I felt Bella stiffen up next to me. I knew that she didn't like Tonya. Who could blame her? I made a mistake with Tonya, but she was still my friend. I couldn't just toss her aside… even though that was what she had done to me… at least for a little while. We had talked a couple of days ago and it was nice. She apologized for how she treated me. I didn't know if it was a true apology or not. I just knew now not to trust her. We had talked about all of the fun we had with Emmett; all of his practical jokes. I felt bad lying to her about his death, just like I hated lying to everyone about it, but I knew it was for the best. I knew that Bella had a huge problem with Tonya after all the shit she had caused before, but it was just the 'Catty Tonya' not the real Tonya I knew. She may be a bitch most of the time, but when she wasn't on the prowl, she really was a great girl.

I told Tonya that it was alright if she sat with us. Tonya was talking about the mundane things of high school that I really didn't care about; like who was seeing who, and who was fucking who. Next thing I know, Bella is starting to laugh. I looked over and she was cracking up. I didn't know what she was laughing at but it was contagious. Jasper and Rosalie were laughing as well. I started in laughing and looked over at Tonya. She didn't know why we were laughing… hell I didn't even know why we were laughing. It was just funny seeing Bella like that. I looked at her with a cocked eyebrow and she fucking snorted. It was the fucking cutest sound I had ever heard. I busted out laughing and pulled her close to me and told her so. She still couldn't stop laughing so she ran outside. I got up to follow after her and Tonya grabbed my hand. I turned to look at her, and I heard Rosalie growl under her breath. I just tugged my hand from Tonya's and walked outside. Bella was standing at the corner of the building bent over and hugging her sides. I walked up behind her and rubbed her back. I asked her what was going on and through her chuckles she told me she didn't know. I pulled her to me. I loved seeing her like this. I had never seen her act like this; so carefree and happy. I told her just that. I pulled her back to look at her face because it was so beautiful lit up like this with the bright smile and the crinkle around her eyes. I could never get enough of this girl. She was so beautiful, inside and out. We have had our share of problems and issues, but still… I ended up with the girl. She reached up and kissed me with the sweetest lips I had ever tasted. She pulled back and had this look in her eyes. It was like she had come to a decision, but I didn't know what it meant. "Bella?" She just smirked at me and wrapped her tiny arms around me. I loved her scent. She was a mixture of everything I loved, or maybe I loved all of the scents because of her. Either way… I loved her.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**BPOV**

Biology was as boring as usual. Tonya kept looking at me like I was crazy… probably because of my hysterical laughing at lunch, but I didn't care. I was still in awe of the look in Edward's eyes outside. It still made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. After class, Edward and I walked arm in arm to choir class.

The choir performance was only a couple of days away. I wasn't really nervous… more excited than anything. We went through the performance routine once during class. It was going to take about an hour the night of the performance, but since I had a song picked out to sing without Edward's accompaniment we skipped that song. I hated to be mean, but listening to some of the girls sing was like listening to someone who was scratching their nails down a chalk board. It was just plain horrible. Jessica had a sweet voice, but it was too whiny. Melissa had the voice of a guy. Tyler sounded like a fucking frog. I hadn't heard Edward sing. I'm sure he had a wonderful voice, but unfortunately he wouldn't be singing. His sole purpose in the class was for him to play the piano or keyboard depending on the songs.

I loved watching Edward play the piano, seeing his long fingers caressing the ivory keys. I tried to focus on that other than listening to the screeching of some of the other students singing.

Gym was interesting. The gym teacher wanted to teach us hand – eye coordination, so we played ping-pong. It really was a lot of fun. I teamed up with Rosalie and of course we held back our speed and accuracy, but we were the best one's out of the class. The teacher walked over and just watched us play then said, "Well, Bella… I think we may have found the sport you excel at." I just laughed it off and told him that we had a ping-pong table at home and we played all the time. We really didn't have one, but I was going to talk to Carlisle about getting one. I would love to play without holding back. I bet we would look like Forrest Gump playing. I giggled at that thought and Rosalie just raised her eyebrows at me. I shrugged and started again.

We went to Edward's house after school since Esme, Alice, and Emmett would be there. It seemed we had inadvertently moved into the Masen's house for the time being. Rose didn't want to be away from Emmett, Jasper didn't want to be away from Alice, Carlisle didn't want to be away from Esme, and I of course didn't want to be away from Edward.

It was a rather boring night, compared to all of the other nights we had had during the last couple of weeks. Carlisle told stories to all of us about his past 300 years. I had heard most of his stories before but I never tired of them. There was so much history in that one man, and yet he seemed timeless. Jasper told us stories about the Civil War. Rosalie didn't talk too much about her past. She didn't like to dredge up the pain associated with her previous life. I didn't have much to offer to the conversation either. It would have bored Jasper, Rosalie and Carlisle since they had been with me since I first became a vampire. Carlisle told us about the French and Indian War, about how he had worked as a medic during the time.

We discussed how we were going to play off Esme's and Alice's disappearances. Carlisle thought it would be a good idea to make it out like Alice was having such a hard time with her brother's loss that Esme decided to take her on a trip to visit some friends in another state. Edward was going to be staying with us in the guise that he didn't want to miss any more school than he already had, since he was looking at getting into Harvard and didn't want to mess up his GPA.

Edward of course had to go to bed to sleep for the next day at school and I went with him. Rubbing his hair and humming to him during the night was the best way I could imagine spending my nights. He was perfect throughout the day, but at night it was like he was a silent angel. I loved the sight of moonlight caressing his strong jaw and tousled hair. He was so peaceful at night; no worries, no issues to deal with.

It was about 3 o'clock in the morning when I heard Carlisle's phone ring. That was strange, because he had taken the week off of work to stay with Esme. I stopped humming and listened intently at the phone call downstairs. Even though I had excellent hearing I couldn't hear the other side of the conversation down the stairs and through the door. I did hear Carlisle speaking though.

"Aro, what a surprise! How have you been?"

I knew that this phone call couldn't be good that Aro… a member of the Volturi was calling Carlisle. I didn't even realize they had his number, since they've never called before.

"Oh, you got my number from Bella's cell phone?"

"Yes, she is my creation. I found her in a hospital in Oregon after she was attacked by another vampire."

"Yes, she survived the attack. We have since dispensed of him, so you no longer need to worry about him."

After a long pause from Carlisle, he said, "Yes, she is very young. I'm sure she was just frightened by your guard. That is probably why she left so abruptly. I know you would never cause her harm unless she did something to provoke it."

Another pause and then, "Oh… well Aro… that is very generous, but we just recently moved to Forks, and the chi – Jasper, Rosalie, and Bella are all enrolled in high school. It would look strange for us to just up and leave for a vacation… I'm sure you understand. Maybe we could come over their winter break."

I almost fell out of the bed. Aro was asking for us to visit them… in Italy. I knew whatever they had planned couldn't be good. It would be down right horrible. They only wanted visitors if they had a specific reason for it. I knew it wasn't because they missed Carlisle. They must want me. I was so fucking stupid to go to Italy after Carlisle told me not to. What other horrors would I bring upon this family?

"I'll speak to the others about when would be best to come for a visit."

"Okay, we will come on their next school break. It will have to be a short visit I'm afraid, as they have less than a week off from of school. Okay, Aro. I look forward to seeing you again as well."

I got up as quietly from Edward's bed as I could and ran down the stairs. Carlisle had a look of shock and sadness on his face. He shook his head, while Esme walked over and put her hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"Bella, you heard?"

I couldn't say anything. I knew that they must hate me for bringing this upon them, so I just nodded.

"We have to go. I'm afraid that if we do not, then they will come here. We can't chance that many vampires in this region. It would be devastating to the population. They won't follow by our way of life, and they would kill many humans while here. I just don't see a way around it." He said more to himself than to anyone else.

"What if we leave? What if we left and told no one about where we were going? They couldn't find us could they?" Esme asked.

Carlisle shook his head. "They have an excellent tracker on their side and he would find us anywhere. That is his specialty. When I was with them, vampires that needed to be caught were always on the run, but Felix always caught them. It would be fruitless to run, because we cannot hide."

I didn't want my family to go to Volterra. No one was safe there. "Carlisle, I'll go…. by myself. I don't want to put any of you in danger," I said softly.

Carlisle looked up at me incredulously and said, "No Bella. If you go, we all go. Aro was specific in saying he wanted to see my whole 'family'. I'm afraid that he also knows about Esme and the others. I don't know how he knows, but I just have a feeling. We all have to go."

"Carlisle! If they found out about Alice's power to see the future, they would want her for their collection. I won't put her in that type of danger." I said to him.

"My dear Isabella… don't you think you should be more worried about yourself? They already KNOW about your power. If you go by yourself, you could be easily picked off by them and taken… or worse… killed," he choked on the last word. "I won't let you go alone. Even if it is just you and I, we are going together."

Esme spoke up, "Carlisle, if you are going, so am I. I can't lose you now. I have to go."

He placed his hand on her cheek and smiled. "My darling Esme, they don't want me. I was a part of them before, but I left. They have no use for me. I have no special powers. They don't need me. They want Bella. I won't let them take her from me either." He turned toward me and held out his hand. I grabbed his outstretched hand and he squeezed. "Bella, you are my daughter. I would not send my daughter into the lions den alone. I will not let you go alone."

I knew what he said was true, but I didn't want him to go. I was afraid of the consequences. They may hold Carlisle against me when we go. I've heard the horror stories. They hold whatever they can over the one they desire's head. They play with no rules. Carlisle could be a very powerful pawn in their game to get me to join them. I wouldn't have them hurt him. We had less than a month to make our move.

* * *

**EN: So there ya go...another stick in the fire! LOL What do you think's gonna happen? Also, don't forget I'll be posting my new story here shortly, so you might want to put me on your alert list if you wanna know when! :) **

**I also want to give a HUGE shout out to another great friend of mine, MsBond01. She's writing a wonderful story called Becoming Bella. You should totally check it out too.  
http://www (.) fanfiction (.) net/s/5366270/1/****  
**


	37. Ch 37: Anger

****

A/N: Well, who all went to see New Moon in the theatre!? I went to the midnight showing and it was fucking awesome. You should definitely go! I plan on going multiple times...my family thinks I'm a fruitcake. lol

My beta is the great and all powerful, Jadiona. She rocks my world!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and I never will. But, I do own an unhealthy addition to it. :)

* * *

Chapter 37 – Anger

**BPOV**

My family, old and new members, sat around talking about the conversation Carlisle had with Aro. Everyone wanted to go. They argued saying they didn't want me to go by myself. I argued back saying I didn't want to put any of them in danger. I wasn't worth the problems the Volturi could cause for my family.

I asked them, "What would each of you do if you lost your partner?"

They all looked at me like I was insane and then I continued, "Because the Volturi would use each of us against each other, right Carlisle? Jasper, do you really want Aro to have such easy access to Alice with her abilities? What about you Emmett? Would you like for Aro to take Rose since she can make people do her will with just the flash of a smile? Carlisle, what if Esme has a power we don't even know about yet? Would you want them to take her? And also, for Rose, Alice and you Carlisle, do you not think that Aro would use your mate against you to make you stay with them? If I go alone, I will be the only one they can get to."

Carlisle huffed at me, "But Isabella, do you actually think that any of us want Aro to get his hands on you? You are a part of this family even if you aren't coupled up with one of us. Of course I don't want Esme to be taken in by Aro if she has an ability we don't know about, but I think it would be better if we all went together; there is strength in numbers."

I still argued, "What about Edward? We can't take him with us; he would be in too much danger. Are we just going to leave him here by himself? I think we should take a vote, for those that think we should all go together or for me to go by myself."

I looked around and I could tell a number of my family members were conflicted. "For all of those in favor of going together?" Emmett, Carlisle, and Alice raised their hands. "So, I guess I'm going by myself then." I had won the vote. Jasper, Rose, Esme and I were voting for me to go by myself. Esme looked at me sadly, "Bella, I just got my son back. I can't put my family in anymore danger."

"Esme, believe me I understand. I'm glad you voted on my side." I knew why Jasper and Rose voted with me; they didn't want to risk their mate. I didn't hold it against them for voting with me. I had wanted them to vote with me. I turned to leave the room, because there was nothing left to talk about. I needed to get my thoughts in order to figure out how I was going to get there and get out in one piece, but Carlisle stopped me.

"Isabella?" I turned around and raised my eyebrow curious as to what he could possibly say to try and change my mind. "What about Edward's vote?"

I couldn't help it I sneered at him. "What does Edward have to do with this? He can't go, there is no way."

"He may not be able to go, but I think he should get a say in whether or not you go by yourself. Wouldn't you want a vote for him if he had something this important happening?"

"Carlisle, I'm going and that's that. There is no way around it. I will NOT put any of you in danger. I just can't handle that. If I go by myself, I will be able to get out by myself. I have my shield or have you forgotten?" I pushed my shield out and pushed Carlisle off of the chair he was sitting in. "I don't know if my shield is strong enough to protect all of you. I will be able to concentrate more on getting out of there in one piece if I go alone! Please Carlisle just let me do this. I just want to keep you all safe."

As Carlisle got up off of the floor he walked quickly to my side and put his hands on my shoulders. "Bella, don't you think that Edward wants to have his say in this? You can't make his decision for him. You have to at least get his opinion." I nodded and tried to turn away, but he pulled me into a hug. I squeezed him back and left the room. Once in Edward's room, I lay down next to him on the bed and started stroking his face. His mouth turned up into a small smile. I loved him so much. I would not put him in any danger if I could help it. I still needed to think about my decision to change him, but we didn't have to worry about that right now. I didn't even know if I was going to be coming back from Italy. I would wait to make that decision then.

O~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The next day was Saturday so Edward and I had the whole day to ourselves. Carlisle had told me that I needed to talk to Edward about the Volturi situation, instead of him finding out from one of the others, so I decided I would take him to our meadow. It really was such a beautiful place. I carried Edward there. He hated that I made him get on my back, but carrying him was like carrying a very light backpack. It didn't affect me at all. We brought blankets and a picnic basket with food for him to eat.

We sat in the middle of the meadow and talked about school and the choir performance that was coming up next week. We talked about our family and how strange it was for us all to pair up the way we had. It was like it was meant to be for all of us; fate, destiny, whatever.

We were lying on the blanket next to each other with my head on his shoulder, his arm around me holding hands. He was tracing my scar on my arm from James' attack. I took a deep breath, and turned on my side to face him. "Edward, I have something I need to tell you about."

He turned to me with a confused look on his face. "What is it, Bella?"

I placed my hand on his chest. "I have to go back to Italy."

He sat up and grabbed my hand. "What? No! Why do you need to go back to Italy? Isn't that where you were when you were kidnapped? Why would you want to go back there?"

I looked at our joined hands and knew that this would be another trial for our relationship. Why couldn't we just have a normal, happy relationship? Oh right, because we weren't normal… well I wasn't anyway.

"A member of the Volturi called Carlisle last night. They found his number in my cell phone when I left it there. They want to see our whole family. Carlisle used to be a member of the Volturi; I don't know if I told you that?"

He shook his head no, but stayed silent. "They want… me. Well, they don't want me, they want my ability. I would be very valuable to them… for their defense in case they ever face an attack. Carlisle wants us all to go, but… I've decided to go by myself."

Edward's grip on my hand tightened and he said softly, "No… no Bella, you can't. You can't leave. I… I don't want you to go to Italy. It would be too dangerous, right?"

I nodded, "But, Edward, I have to go. I can't let my family or yours endanger themselves by going with me. If they went with me, then the Volturi would use them against me. I can't let that happen."

"Bella, you can't go by yourself. You have to take someone with you to help get you out of there. I'll go with you."

I laughed sadly, "Edward, you obviously can't go with me. They would kill you. You wouldn't last one minute in Volterra. You can not go." I said with finality. "I can take care of myself. You always forget about my shield. It will protect me."

"Oh! Like it protected you against James? Is that how it works? You think you are invincible, but in reality you aren't! If James had gotten a hold of you like Jasper did to him, then you wouldn't be sitting here with me right now, would you? You act like you can't die, but you can!"

"That was… that was a minor miscalculation. I lost concentration for a minute with James. It won't happen in Volterra. I won't let my guard down while I'm there. Please, don't make this harder than it has to be. I HAVE to go! If I don't then they will just come here… then the whole population of Forks would be in danger. I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen," then I said under my breath, "I knew you would side with them."

"Wait… what? What do you mean; you knew I would side with them? Who's them?"

SHIT! I didn't think he would hear me when I said that. "Um… well, we had a vote…"

"You had a vote, but didn't include me in on it. Is it because I'm not a vampire? I'm not a vampire, so my vote doesn't count? Is that it?!" Edward jumped up off of the ground and started stalking around the meadow.

I got up and walked to him and stood in front of him. "Edward, it's not like that. That isn't why we didn't include you… you were sleeping. You can place your vote now, but it doesn't matter. I'm still going by myself."

He laughed meanly, and turned around, "Now I just don't matter. That's just great Bella. Thanks, it makes me feel so much better."

"NO! Damn it! That's not what I meant either. Edward, listen to me. It does matter what you think. It matters to me. I just have to do this alone. Can't you see? I can't put any of our family in danger. Not because of me. I'm not worth it!!" I yelled.

He spun back around and grabbed me by the arm roughly. It would have bruised anyone except for a vampire. He growled and said lowly, "Don't. I don't ever want to hear you say that shit, again. You are worth it. What's going to happen to me if you leave and don't come back? Bella, you have to change me. If you change me, then I can go with you. If they make you stay, I can stay with you, or I can help you get out."

"No… no Edward, I won't change you because of this. If they do take me, they might not want you. You may not even have a special ability; they normally don't take vampires without abilities. It could end up being pointless to change you." I wanted to change him… eventually. He didn't know that I had come to realize that I couldn't continue existing without him for eternity, but I didn't want to change him because of this. I didn't want this to be forced. If I changed him now and he did go to Volterra with me, they could still hold him against me to make me stay. They could still end up killing him. I couldn't handle that. I don't know when I plan on changing him, or what will make me want to change him at a specific moment, but I knew I would do it one day.

"Bella, you can't go by yourself, and that's that. I don't care who you take with you, as long as you are not alone. Find another vampire that you trust that isn't in your family that you could care less about dying, that way they can't hold them against you. But you have to take someone. Please? I can't lose you."

He put his hands on my cheeks and looked deeply into my eyes. There were tears shimmering in his. I placed my hands on his cheeks and said, "Edward, if I took anyone else with me, someone I didn't care about, they wouldn't help me. The Volturi will know that I don't trust them. If I go by myself, they will think I trust them enough to come alone. It is the best way. I can make it out and I will make it back to you. Please, trust me."

**EPOV**

I wanted to trust her. I did trust her, but I didn't trust them. If they killed her… I couldn't even comprehend a life without her. Even if she wasn't willing to change me, I could still see her… spend time with her. I didn't want her to go at all; with or without the family. I wanted her here… with me… safe.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

We went back to house soon after our conversation and everyone was waiting in the living room for us. Apparently Alice had seen part of our discussion. Carlisle stood up and said, "Well?"

Bella turned and motioned for me to go ahead, so I said, "I don't think she should go by herself."

Carlisle clapped me on the back and smiled at me, "I knew you'd be on our side, son." I was taken back by that. I never had a father figure to ever call me 'son'. Esme wasn't one for relationships, she always put us first. Of course she had been in some throughout the years, but they never got close to Emmett, Alice or I.

Bella broke me out of my thoughts when she said, "But I'm still going by myself."

I turned to her and glared at her. Had she not heard anything I said to her? I realize I can't tell her what to do, but still. She could have at least acted like she cared about what I thought.

"Bella! You CAN'T! If that's the case then none of us will go. I'll call Aro and tell him we had something come up and we will come later. Time is different to the Volturi compared to humans. A year to a human would be like a week to the Volturi. I will just postpone it for as long as we can," Carlisle said.

Everyone nodded. Bella looked skeptical though and said, "But, they were specific about us coming soon. Are you sure you can postpone them?"

Carlisle just smiled, "Isabella, you must have forgotten that I was very close to Aro a long time ago. He will understand. I just have to come up with a good excuse."

I figured I couldn't come up with anything to help with this conversation so I went up stairs to listen to some music to try and relax. Bella followed me up. When we were in my room I turned on my IHome and put it on some Nickelback for background noise. I walked over to the bed and flopped down. Bella walked over and sat down next to me. "What's wrong?" she asked?

I could only laugh. "What's wrong? You seriously have to ask me that? You basically told Carlisle and our whole family that it didn't matter what I thought. You told them that you were still going by yourself even though I voted with them."

"Edward, we might not have to worry about that."

I cut her off, "BELLA! That's not the fucking point! You don't care what I think! You didn't even listen to me in the meadow. I gave you plenty of reasons to not go by yourself, and yet you still want to go. Do I really mean that little to you!?"

She stopped and started shaking, "Aren't you the fucking pot calling the kettle black?" she said maliciously, "Really Edward? Are you fucking kidding me?! You know that I fucking care about you. You know I fucking love you. Do you not remember about a week or so ago when I gave my opinion about Tonya? When you blatantly went to talk to her after I fucking told her to stay away from you? Does that mean you don't fucking care about me? You aren't so fucking righteous that you do no wrong. Of course I heard what you said in the meadow, I understand why you feel the way you do about it, but you would try to do the same thing if you were in my position. Would you want Esme and Alice hurt if you could help it? Wouldn't you want to keep them out of danger? Don't you dare fucking tell me that I didn't listen to you. You made it perfectly clear that I couldn't tell you what to do, and now you know you can't tell me what to do." She said heatedly. She had been pacing around the room. I had never seen her that upset before.

I was such an ass. I was trying to do to her what she had tried to do to me. Wow… that was complicated even thinking that. I didn't want her to go to Italy because I was scared for her. I guess she didn't want me talking to Tonya, because she was afraid I would get hurt again. I didn't see it that way before. I only thought that Bella was jealous. What a stupid, stupid fucking idiot I was. "Bella, I'm sorry. Please… sit down." She turned to me with an angry look still on her face, and her eyes were black. I don't think I'd ever seen them that color. They were like obsidian stones.

"Actually, Edward, I think I'm going to go on a hunt. I'll be back later." She ran to my window, threw it open and jumped out.

* * *

EN: Ohhh...Bella's pissed at Edward. What do ya think about that!? Please let me know. I hope you enjoyed it...review, review, review! Thanks! Til next time!


	38. Ch 38: Planning to Deceive

**AN: I am soooo sorry for not updating sooner. It has been a very hectic week with family visiting for Thanksgiving. I hope you all aren't too mad at me. :) I just want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing my story. It means sooo much to me, you have no idea. I also want to thank my beta - Jadiona for being patient with me since I've been a slack ass here lately with writing. **

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a fridge full of leftovers.**

* * *

Chapter 38 – Planning to Deceive

**BPOV**

What an arrogant asshole!! How can he tell me that I don't fucking care what he thinks, when he obviously doesn't care what I think!!? Bullshit! I am so angry with him! He always makes it out that I'm the bad person. I'm the one that was wrong for arguing with Tonya about talking to Edward. I just don't want her to hurt him again. I can see it happening now. She will try to get him back just to get at me; because he is back to the unobtainable status again. But no! I'm the bitch because I confronted her before she started weaving her fucking web. If he wants her to fuck with us, then fine. Let her. I won't be so nice next time. I've let her get away with so much shit that I just can't let it happen again. I will have my payback if she even TRIES to fuck with us.

I had been running in the woods around the house to find something to fight with, even though nothing could put up much of a fight with me. I had just found a big grizzly bear that looked mad. I walked up behind it and tapped it on the shoulder. It whipped around and roared right in my face. If I was a lesser person, I probably would have pissed my pants, but I just laughed at it and pushed it over. That just made it madder. The grizzly bear jumped up from the ground and took a swipe at me. It hit my arm and shredded my shirt, but obviously it didn't hurt me. It was like swiping its claw against a rock. I grabbed its arm and pulled. I heard the bone separate from its joint. The bear whined, and screamed out in pain. I decided to just go ahead and put it out of its misery, so I bit into its furry neck and bled it dry.

When I finished I heard clapping. I hadn't even heard anyone walk up on me. I swirled around and saw Jasper leaning up against a tree, with one foot crossed in front of the other. Jasper always looked so relaxed. I walked up to him and he just smiled down at me. He picked at my shredded sleeve and tsked at me. "Bella, I really liked that shirt. It brought out your eyes."

I couldn't help it, even if I was still mad, I laughed. I should have known to go and find Jasper when I was upset. Even when he didn't use his ability he always made me calm. "Yeah, I know, Jazz, but the bear had it coming." I smirked at him. He put his arm around me and walked me over to a log.

"We heard what happened between you and Edward," he said softly.

"Yeah, I figured as much. I just needed to get away. Jasper, I've never known anyone who can make me so mad, but love them so much at the same time," I said exasperated.

"Honey, that's what you call true love," he chuckled.

"God, if that's true love, you can keep it. Son of a bitch, Jazz, am I really being stupid about this, or am I in the right? I can't see the line anymore… it's so blurry."

"Bella, I understand why you want to go to Italy by yourself, but it's not smart. Like Carlisle said, you could get taken in by them, or worse… killed."

"I know! But, does no one realize that I don't want them to go because I'm scared for them? I would gladly sacrifice myself to keep my family safe… to keep my love safe. But no! You all have to put yourselves in danger because of me. I won't let it happen, Jasper. I can't let it happen."

"I know, Bella, but you can't just put yourself in that position to keep us safe. You want to keep us safe, just like we want to keep you safe. It's a two-way street, hun. You can't have it both ways. It doesn't work like that."

"So have you changed your vote then? You don't want me to go by myself now? Cause, earlier you voted against Carlisle. Earlier, you didn't care that I wanted to go by myself."

"It's not that I didn't care if you went by yourself, it's just that I don't want to put Alice in danger. But, if one of us goes, then all of us go. We are a unit. There is safety in numbers, remember that."

"But Jasper, if you all go, I may not be able to keep everyone protected by my shield. That's what I'm afraid of… of not being able to protect the people that I love."

"Well, if we do end up going, which we may well not have to, don't forget that Carlisle is going to call Aro. But, if we do end up going, then we will have time to prepare. We can come up with an attack plan and a defensive plan. I can help train you in fighting and perfecting your shield. I should have never taken you with me to find James. You have no experience in fighting. You will have no experience in defending yourself against the Volturi. They are trained fighters; we will just have to come up with a plan before we go, if we go."

That made sense to me. I knew if I had to have someone train me, then I would want it to be Jasper. He knew more about fighting than all of us put together. Jasper could make it work. "Jasper, even if we don't have to go to Italy, do you think you could still train me? I want to be ready just in case something ever happens again, like what happened with James. I won't be taken off guard again."

"Okay, that sounds good. I think we all should do a little training to at least brush up on some stuff. It will be good for Emmett and Alice since they're new to all of this. Sounds like we are gonna be having some fun around here then," Jasper said. I could tell that he was excited to put his knowledge to use after such a long time.

"Jazz, what am I going to do about Edward? Do I change him now and risk him hating me for the rest of his existence when he realizes that's not what he wants? Do I take the chance that nothing bad is going to happen to him? I can't be around him constantly, what if something bad happens and none of us are around to protect him, or keep him from dying? What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to know?"

"Isabella that is your decision to make; I can't make that decision for you, and neither can Carlisle. That is between you and Edward. I know he wants to be changed, but I can see your side of it too. It is a tough situation and there is no 'real' right answer. You just have to follow your heart."

"My heart says to make him mine for eternity," I said without hesitation, "but my heart also doesn't want to take his soul, his livelihood. I am just so damn torn!" I said, while punching a rock. The rock shattered under my fist.

"Well, it's nothing you have to make a decision about right now, so just think on it. Your heart will tell you when, you just have to listen."

I knew Jasper would give me some cryptic bullshit… even though it made sense. I did have a lot of thinking to do, but for now, I had to get back to the house and make amends with Edward.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**EPOV**

After Bella jumped out of the window, I went back downstairs to sit with the family. It was strange that I now thought of the Cullen's as family even if we hadn't been officially merged by marriage or anything. But with everything we had been through, there was no way that we couldn't be family. I got to the bottom of the stairs and saw Jasper getting up to leave. He nodded in my direction and walked out the door. I sat on the couch with Alice, and she put her arms around my shoulders and hugged me. I guess they all had heard everything that Bella and I had just argued about.

"Edward, you know you're an ass, right?" Alice asked me.

I only huffed out a small laugh and nodded while putting my head in my hands. "Yeah, I know. When did that happen?"

Alice giggled at me, and Rose glared at me, apparently she didn't get the joke.

"What?" I asked Rose.

"Oh, nothing, ass, just that you are making shit so hard on Bella. Can't you tell that she's scared? She really doesn't want to go by herself anymore than we want her to go, but she's only doing it to protect us, all of us. And you are up there making her feel bad."

I hadn't realized that she was scared. I couldn't picture Bella being scared. She always seemed like such a rock, so strong.

"Another thing, assward," she snarled, "You have no fucking right to tell her what to do."

I cut her off, "I know Rose… Jesus, don't I know it. She made that perfectly fucking clear to me. I can't tell her what to do, and she can't tell me what to do. We aren't in this relationship to dictate what each other can and can't do. I get that now, thanks!" I said sarcastically.

Alice spoke up, "Edward, I realize that you don't want her to go because she'd be alone and in danger, but can't you see that was why she didn't want Tonya bothering you? She didn't want you to hurt anymore because of her. We all know that Tonya can be nice, but when it comes to you, no… there's no niceness there. I've seen her trying to fuck up your relationship with Bella. I just hope you don't fall for it. You HAVE been warned." And with that she hit me on the backside of my head, lightly, but it still hurt.

"Okay, okay. I get it… again. Like Rose pointed out, I'm now assward. Thanks for that by the way," I said to Rose and she smirked at me.

I sat and listened while they talked about ways to try and get more time out of the Volturi. Bella and Jasper walked in just as Carlisle was about to place the call, even though we still had come up with nothing to give us more time.

Bella looked at me out of the corner of her eye and turned to Carlisle. "Carlisle, I get it. I won't go to Volterra by myself. Jasper said that he would take time to train all of us to protect ourselves in Italy. I know I don't want to be caught off guard again when we go there, like I was with James. I can't take that chance if all of you go with me. I have to be on top of my game," she said.

I was thrilled that she wasn't planning on going to Italy by herself anymore, whether it was in a couple of weeks, or in a couple of months. She would have her family there with her, and hopefully by that time, me. I wanted them to change me so bad I could taste it. Watching Emmett and Alice become a complete part of their family while I was still the 'human' was really fucking annoying. They could all go hunting together, go running together. I couldn't keep up with them. I still had to get my sleep, even though it was coming in shorter bursts of time now. It was really wreaking havoc on my body though. Sometimes in school I could barely function, I may as well not be there. The teachers are giving me a curve, because of Emmett, and I'm sure once they all find out that Alice and Esme have 'left', then they will probably give me an even bigger curve. If not, then I would fail. I could really care less about school right now, with everything else going on.

I wanted to go to Bella and wrap my arms tightly around her, but I was afraid she was still pissed at me. I couldn't tell, because she had only glanced at me; not even fully.

Carlisle asked Bella what she thought we could use as an excuse to keep from going to Volterra for the time being and Bella started pacing around the room looking at the floor. If any of us could come up with an idea, it would be Bella. She always seemed so sure of herself; always in control.

"How about we tell them about Emmett? We could use him as an excuse not to come yet. We can't very well put him on a plane with hundreds of other humans. They would understand… because if we arrived in Italy with a plane full of human corpses, that would definitely be a threat to the Volturi. We could play it off that I had attacked him, but you stopped me before I killed him; and that's why he changed instead of being dead. We could leave Alice and Esme out of it, so they don't have to go. It could work, right?"

"Bella that would work until we got there, but if Aro touches any of us, and you can be sure that he will, then he will know the truth. He will know about Alice and Esme. I've told you before Bella, Aro can see every thought you have ever had in your mind just by a touch of the hand. We can't openly deceive them, that would just be… well… it would possibly turn into a war between us and them."

I didn't know that this Aro guy could read people's thoughts. There really was a whole world that I didn't know about. Alice's ability to see the future has always been around, from real fortune tellers to fake clairvoyants. I wondered if any of the other vampires in Italy had any other abilities. It would be interesting to find out exactly who had what ability, for future reference.

Bella answered Carlisle's argument by saying, "Well, fine. We can just tell him the truth about Emmett. It shouldn't be that hard for them to understand, right? Because if no vampires were allowed to turn anyone, then I wouldn't have been created, you wouldn't have been created; hell… none of the Volturi would have been created. They have to overlook that I changed Emmett. And then when we go see them, even if we don't tell them about Alice and Esme, it won't matter. They won't be there, so they won't be in danger. Come on, Carlisle… Do you really want them to know we created three vampires in less than a month? That would definitely raise a red flag to them, but just one? No problem… right?"

Alice was sitting next to me and she huffed, "Bella, why can't we go? If Jasper is going to train us, then we will be safe. You can't just leave us here." She whined.

Carlisle had his thumb under his chin thinking, looking almost like Auguste Rodin's sculpture The Thinker**.** He didn't even look at Alice or Esme. I could see Esme was torn, you could tell that she wanted to go, but didn't want Alice or Emmett to go, and until I was changed, I couldn't go. She was biting on the corner of her mouth, thinking too.

Carlisle finally broke the silence, "I think you're right Bella. We should only tell them about Emmett, for the time being. If we keep putting it off, then we can use Alice and Esme as more time. I think it just might work. I'll go ahead and call Aro now," and he got up to leave the room with Esme in his wake.

**CPOV**

My daughter had always had a good head on her shoulders. As time went by, she was showing herself to become a true leader. I knew that if anything happened to me, she could easily fill my shoes as the "leader" of our family. She may be the youngest, compared to Rosalie and Jasper, but she was more mature than either of them. Jasper obviously let his emotions run him. He couldn't help it… it was a part of him. Rosalie, well, she was too vain to take care of anyone other than herself. It wasn't that she was a bad person, it was just the way she was raised when she was human, and even after all of this time, it still hadn't diminished.

I felt bad for making Alice and Esme stay here, but I wanted to keep Esme safe, and I couldn't just leave her here while I took her kids across the world. It would just be easier in the long run, and I knew she would be protected by distance, plus she could still look after Edward here.

She followed me into my room and ran her hands up and down my tensed shoulders. "Carlisle, are we doing the right thing? Will this cause animosity between you and this Aro, if you deny coming to see him?"

"Darling, I'm not denying him, I'm just postponing. I seriously doubt that this would cause a rift to happen. He and I have always been… close. Well as close as you can get to the Volturi. They are the elite of the vampires. I was honored to be included with them, while I was there. I just couldn't live with their expectations of me. They wanted me to hunt humans. I just couldn't do it. I had already started my training as a doctor to try and save humans. I couldn't treat them as food. It just didn't feel right. I think we will be fine." I said smiling down on her and kissing her forehead.

I pulled out the cell phone and dialed Aro's number.

Aro: Ahhh… Carlisle. So good to hear from you.

Carlisle: Aro, how are things?

Aro: Good, good. What do I owe this pleasure?

Carlisle: Well, Aro, we have a problem. We won't be able to make it as soon as we had hoped.

Aro: Oh? I hope nothing is wrong?

Carlisle: No, nothing is wrong, per se. Well, we've had another addition to our family recently and he won't do well on a plane so soon. You had said that you wanted to meet all of my family.

Aro: Another addition? How did this happen?

Carlisle: There was this boy that the others go to school with, and well, he had a run in with a bear. One of the girls had fallen in love with him, so we decided to save his life by changing him.

Aro: Oh, well, I see. It would be hard to put a newborn on a plane with humans. When do you expect you will make it for a visit?

Carlisle: Well, I'm not exactly sure. We are keeping a low profile here and trying to teach him how to hunt animals rather than humans. If he learns quickly enough, then we should be able to come within the next year or so.

Aro: Right, I had forgotten about your aversion to drinking from humans. I still don't see how you do it, Carlisle. Anyway, I understand your predicament. I guess we will see you in a year then. I do hope you stay in touch between now and then.

Carlisle: I will Aro. I really appreciate your invitation to come and stay with you. I am just sorry we have to wait a little while longer.

Aro: It's alright Carlisle, don't worry about it. We will see you soon enough.

*Click*

Aro had hung up the phone. I felt that the conversation went as well as could be expected. He didn't sound upset that we wouldn't make it within the next couple of weeks. I turned to Esme and she had a small smile gracing her lips.

"Well, that sounded excellent. We don't have to worry about them for a year, right?" she asked me.

"Yes, a year, if not longer, we shall see."

* * *

**EN: Well, what do you think? Do you think Carlisle's right about Aro being understanding? Let me know. :) Please click the little green button below. It's been lonely this past week. Thanks so much for reading. Til next time!**


	39. Ch 39: A Night Out

AN: I know I know! I suck. It's been forever since I've updated, but real life has just been too super busy. I promise I'll try harder. My beta - Jadiona has been kicking my butt to keep writing so oyu can thank her by going to read some of her stories when I'm having trouble with updating! Her profile and stories are on my favorite authors and stories list. Also, I want to give a huge shoutout to my bestie BellasExeQtnER, she makes me happy and has some awesome stories too. MWAH bb!!!

**THIS IS IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ**

**This story only has one more chapter after this. I will be ending this story, but starting on a sequel. I still have tons of places that I want to take the characters so I figure instead of writing an 80 chapter story I'd break it into two. :) Now...if you want to read the sequel I would suggest you put my on your author alerts that way you know when the next story is posted. Just a little heads up for ya!**

DISCLAIMER: As always, Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight, but I like to take them out for a night on the town!

* * *

**Chapter 39 – A Night Out**

**BPOV**

Carlisle and Esme came back down to tell us all about the conversation with Aro. "We don't have anything to worry about for now. Aro understands about not putting Emmett on a plane with hundreds of other humans. I don't think he is too happy about us having a new family member, but he didn't exactly voice his concern."

"Dad, if he's not happy about one new member, how is he going to react to three? You don't think they will find out do you? At least until we go and visit them?" I asked him.

"I don't see how he can find out about Alice and Esme. It's not like we are out there broadcasting that we are changing people. There are no other vampires around here to run off and tell them. I think we will be safe for now," he said while walking over, and then put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I reached up and grabbed his hand. "Let's just hope that they don't find out." I had a very uneasy feeling, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

The next day, Alice and Emmett started bitching about not being able to do anything. I couldn't really blame them though, because they hadn't been out of our house or their house in the past couple of weeks, other than to hunt. I knew that they had a lot of control over their bloodlust, since they were able to be around Edward without any incidents, but I didn't know if they could handle being in a room with more people.

"Bella, pleeeeease!?!?" Alice whined to me, "We will be good, I promise!"

"Alice, you know it's not that. I don't think you guys would intentionally hurt anyone, but what if it gets to be too much? You won't be able to hold yourselves back. I just don't want you guys to have to go through that."

Alice's face went slack and she got the far away look in her eyes, then she turned back to me. She smiled largely. "It will be fine. I just know it." I knew better than to argue with Alice after she had a vision.

"Okay, we will go, BUT if you guys start to feel uncomfortable in any way, you have to let us know so we can get out of there fast." Alice and Emmett nodded like two little angels that could do no wrong. I couldn't help it, I laughed at them.

"Right, well I guess we should go and get ready." Jasper, Rosalie and I went back to our house to get ready. Carlisle and Esme wouldn't be going out with us, which was a good thing, because going to a club with your parents is just… weird.

I finally finished getting ready. I normally didn't take too long to fix myself up, because I always wore jeans, but Alice had called me to tell me to dress up at least a little bit. I decided to, well not really surprise her, because let's face it… it's hard to surprise a clairvoyant, but I knew she would be pleased when she saw me. I pulled on a pair of black tights, with a short ruffled black skirt. My shirt was a very pale pink with a black band wrapped around it, with a black undershirt. I decided to muss up my hair, to give me sex hair and put on a pair of shiny black high-heeled Mary Jane's. I felt damn sexy and was looking forward to the night out. I walked downstairs to find Rosalie already dressed spectacularly in a short black and white short dress with fuck-me-pumps with real diamonds on the heels. To anyone else, they would think they were rhinestones, but I knew better. Rose never went half-assed with anything. Jasper was dressed in a white collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a grey stripped vest with black pants and boots.

We left our house to meet up with Edward, Alice and Emmett at their house. Alice walked out first in a spaghetti strap dark blue dress that came just above her knees. Emmett followed shortly behind her in more casual clothes, but he still looked sexy, with a white long sleeved shirt under a blue shirt, jeans, and a black scarf wound around his neck. Most guys couldn't pull off the scarf, but somehow it just fit with him. Emmett and Alice walked over to Jasper and Rose and they all looked each other over. I was afraid we wouldn't be able to make it to the club; by the way they were all looking at their partners.

Then, the man I had been waiting on my whole life walked out of the house. He had on a black buttoned up shirt with a silver-grey jacket and jeans, with his awesome sex hair. He took my breath away. He just stopped when he saw me, and I saw his eyes darken with passion. I really was afraid that we weren't going to make it out of here. I know that I would have been fine to go upstairs and help Edward take off his jacket…shirt…pants…whatever he wanted me to.

Alice broke us out of our wanton stare, "Come on guys! If we don't leave now, we will be late!!"

Edward hurried down the steps and grabbed my hand and let it hang between us. "You look fantastic."

"You don't look too bad yourself, slick." I said to him with a wink.

Edward and I rode in the same car, while Jasper, Rose, Alice and Emmett all rode together. I was glad for the time alone with him. The drive to Tacoma would take about two hours.

We talked about our likes and dislikes, almost making a game out of it.

"I like every kind of music," I told him.

"I don't like country music," he countered.

"I like classic novels, like 'The Scarlet Letter', 'Pride and Prejudice', and all of Edgar Allen Poe's works."

"I don't like reading non-fiction. Fiction is better and more fun," Edward said.

I could only laugh at him.

Edward started asking me questions about my past. Like what was my favorite thing to do with my parents, fishing and cooking; if I had a favorite stuffed animal, my teddy bear Joseph. Then he asked me about my past relationships.

"Were you ever in a serious relationship when you were human?" He looked at me out of the corner of his eye when he asked.

"Well, um… yeah. His name was Brandon. We dated for about a year but then well, obviously we separated."

"Oh, so you guys broke up. Was it a mutual thing?"

"No, not really." I really didn't want to go into this. "What about you? Did you have any serious relationships, before I came to this little town?" I asked smirking at him.

"Not really. I have been on a couple of dates but nothing serious. So since you guys didn't break up mutually, was it you that broke up with him?"

He wasn't going to let this go. I sighed and settled down in my seat. "No. I didn't break up with him. He just sort of left, but it was my fault."

"How was it your fault if he broke up with you?"

"He caught me kissing another guy." I waited for the next question; the one I knew that would be coming.

"What were you doing kissing another guy?"

"Okay, here's the whole story. Brandon and I went to a concert with my best friend at the time, Melinda. Melinda brought her cousin with her, his name was Mick. We were having a pretty good time. Mick was older than we were so he was buying us beer. Mick was going to go to the concession stand to get more and I offered to go with him to help carry them back to our seats. We went down to the concession area and we both went to the bathrooms. I walked out of the restroom and he was standing there waiting on me. I remember looking at him and something just clicked. I knew that I wanted him. I hadn't spoken more than five sentences to him the whole time we'd been at the concert, but I wanted him. He looked at me and it seemed like the same thing happened to him too. It was… unexplainable. I walked over to him and he put his hands in my hair. We started kissing, but it was the hot and heavy kind, ya know? We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. If the place hadn't been so crowded we probably would have run off and had sex, but well… like I said, it was crowded. Time seemed to just stand still, but apparently it hadn't. Next thing I know I hear a gasp and turn to look at where the noise came from. It was Brandon. He was standing there with his mouth hanging open. I immediately felt ashamed at what I had done, but it was like I had no control over what I was doing. Brandon turned around and stalked off, leaving me at the concert with Mick and Melinda. After they took me home later that night, I never talked to Mick again. It was a one time thing, but Brandon and I were over. I knew he wouldn't take me back even if I asked. I just let everything end."

"Bella, I never thought you would be the type of person to cheat on someone."

"It's not like I planned it. It just happened. Come on Edward… the same shit happened to you and me. You were dating Tonya at the time, when you kissed me outside of the club that night."

"Yeah, I guess your right, but still… it just seems wrong. You and I, well… it feels like we're meant to be."

"I know Edward, I feel it too. I was 17… it was probably just my teenage hormones running amuck back then. I don't know. It just felt right at the time."

Edward got really quiet then. I wanted to know what thoughts were running through his head. "Edward, talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking."

"Well, what if… what if it happens again? What if you find someone else you want to kiss? Would you do it?"

"Geez Edward, how can I answer that? Honestly, I don't know. I can tell you right now that I don't plan on cheating on you. You are it for me. But I also didn't plan on cheating on Brandon back then. It just happened."

"So you don't know if you'll cheat on me or not?"

"I don't plan on it, but you never know what could happen. Edward, I will live for all eternity unless another vampire takes me out. That's a big stretch of time. Who knows what could happen between now and then? Everyday something new and unexpected happens across the globe. People die, babies are born, love dies, lust is born. It pops up out of nowhere."

Edward just stared at the road. "I guess I can see what you're saying. We truly don't know what could happen from one minute to the next."

"See? I do know this… I love you and only you. You are the reason for my existence. Nothing can change that. Okay?"

"I love you too Bella. I mean anything can happen. I could find someone else too, ya know? Or hell, I could end up wrecking the car right now and end up dying because of it. Shit changes."

Damn. I really wish he hadn't said that. I didn't even want to think about him finding someone else. I didn't want to think about him dying. What would my life be like without Edward? I would just be a shell of myself. I knew I couldn't live my life without him. "Edward," I said while putting my hand behind his neck, "pull over the car."

He looked at me with a shocked expression on his face. "What?"

"Pull – the – car – over."

He gulped and flipped the turn signal on and pulled to the shoulder. I still had my hand on the back of his neck.

"What is it Bella?"

I pulled him closer to me and pressed my lips against his. "Do not talk about dying, please."

"Well, it's going to happen eventually. If you don't end up changing me I'm going to grow old. I'm going to die one day. It's just a matter of time."

I tightened my grip on his neck, but not to make it painful. "I said don't. One day, I may change you. I just can't right now. It's just not right. I want you to have some human experiences before you have to live a life of the undead."

His eyes lit up like I just told him that he had won the lottery. "Really? You're gonna change me?"

"I said I may. I don't know 100 percent yet, but I've been thinking about it."

"What have you been thinking?" he said with a smirk.

"I've been thinking that I don't want to spend the rest of my existence without you. If anything were to happen to you…" I couldn't finish that sentence. I closed my eyes to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill out of my eyes.

Then I felt his warm breath on my face before he placed his lips on mine. It was a sweet kiss. He leaned back into his seat and said softly, "Thank you."

He pulled the car back out onto the road. We were quiet the rest of the ride to the club. Tacoma was quite a bit out of the way from where we lived, but we decided to come here since there was a very slim chance of seeing anyone we knew from Forks. We walked into the club and it smelled like every other club in existence; smoke, sweat, and alcohol. Not a pleasant smell. We walked in and there was a DJ in the far corner of the room playing songs.

All of us walked over to a seat in the back of the bar out of the main stream of the rest of the patrons. There was a wide variety of people sitting at the tables and bar. People in their 40's, people in their early twenties. There was a small dance floor in the middle of the room where a few people were out there grinding on one another. As we were sitting there taking everything in a waitress came over to our table and asked if we wanted anything. I ordered a dirty martini for me and a Heineken for Edward. I probably wouldn't drink anything, but the waitress would have been mad if we hadn't ordered anything.

The DJ at the front room said, "If you have any songs you want played, just come on up and let me know. I'll try to get your song in."

Emmett looked at each of us with a sly smile on his face. Then got up, walked over to the DJ, and came back smiling even bigger. "You guys are gonna love this song!!" he said loudly.

We were sitting at our table when Lady Gaga's 'Love Games' came across the loudspeakers. I just looked over at Emmett and he shook his head. He hadn't picked this song which is good, 'cause I would have ragged the shit out of him if he had. I got up from my seat and moved over to sit on Edward's lap. I started grinding on him to the beat of the song. He wrapped his hands around my hips and tried to still me, when I heard a low, "fuuuck" come from his mouth. I pressed down again and rubbed my ass against his lap, where I could feel his dick straining against the already tight pants. I stopped my gyrations and sat on him. Turning I grabbed his face in my hands and kissed him. He narrowed his eyes at me. I just shrugged and moved to get off of his lap, but he wrapped his arm around my hip saying, "No you don't. You started it." Then he pushed his hips against my ass and I moaned. We were starting to get lost in our own world when I heard the DJ.

"Okay guys! Hope ya'll are having fun out there. I have a request from a big burly guy. Now normally I don't say anything about the choices people make, but this just struck me as funny. Emmett? Can you come up here?"

Emmett looked at us and grinned. "Okay ladies, here's Emmett. What song would you think he would pick out? Some kind of rock, right?" All the girls in the club started yelling for Emmett. Rose did not look happy.

I grabbed her wrist and she flicked her eyes over to me. "It's okay Rose." I didn't want her to lose her cool. She just nodded and I saw her take a deep breath.

"Well he didn't pick any rock song or any type of rap. He picked a girl's song. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but dude, I expect you either didn't bring a date with you, or your date is a guy right?" I couldn't help it… I busted out laughing. The DJ just basically called Emmett out as being gay. It was even funnier because Emmett was FAR from gay. Rose stood up and started walking over to the DJ's booth. She didn't just walk, she sashayed over there. Every eye was on her. "

I'm Emmett's date. Does it look like he's gay?" She grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him to her. The way she kissed him, it looked like smoke should have been coming off of them.

The DJ started cracking up, "Okay… I was wrong. Good for you guy. Now, honey if you ever tire of this man of meat, give me a call." Now it was Emmett's turn to be pissed. He just glared at the DJ.

The DJ gave Emmett a slap on the back and said, "Just kiddin' man. No worries." Emmett and Rose made their way back to our table when the beat from the song that Emmett had chosen started pounding out. It was Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You." I couldn't believe that Emmett had picked this song.

'Cause we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me  
And honestly,  
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you

He said, "Get it? 'Forever' cause we live forever, and the sucking, cause we're well, you know." We all started laughing. Emmett was always so unpredictable.

Alice and I jumped up and ran to the dance floor. We started bouncing up and down, singing along with Kelly. It was tons of fun. I felt like I was almost human again. Edward went up to the DJ and asked to have a song played. I didn't know what it was.

The next song that came up was "London Bridges" by Fergie. Some girls that had apparently been drinking for quite a while tried strutting their stuff out to the dance floor but they ended up looking like ducks waddling to a pond. The girls were dressed in their most slutty outfits, and the boys were actually watching them; not looking at them like they were stupid, but watching their bodies gyrate on the dance floor. I couldn't help it; I started laughing but Rose gave me that look. She grabbed me and Alice and forced us to go out on the dance floor. She was very competitive in everything she did. I knew that this was going to be fun. Rose grabbed Alice and put her in between us. Rose put her hands on Alice's hips and started grinding on her from the back, while I put my leg between Alice's legs. We went down to the ground and rose slowly back up.

I looked over at the boys and now they were watching us. I smirked at Edward, but he didn't grin back. He had this smoldering look on his face. If I was a lesser woman, I would have been scared, but it just turned me on. I wiggled my way into the sandwich between Alice and Rose and moved my hands behind Rose and grabbed her ass, while leaning back into her. We did a back bend and Alice bent over me too, to look like a bridge. We all leaned back up and I wrapped my arms around Alice's shoulders. "Just go with it," I said to her, and then leaned forward and licked up her neck. She shivered and grabbed me by the back of the hair and looked in my eyes, then she leaned in and kissed me. I totally hadn't expected that, but whatever. I told her to just go with it, and apparently she was. We pulled back when the song was over.

Rose was now the one smirking at us. "Well, that was taking it a little bit far wasn't it?" she said.

I couldn't do anything except shrug. Alice giggled and ran over to Jasper and jumped in his arms while planting her lips on his. Apparently Alice was having a lot of fun being out of the house tonight. I walked over to my seat next to Edward and he just kept looking at me. I smiled at him a little bit, but his expression didn't change. I was afraid that he was pissed at me. Yeah, I just kissed someone else other than him, but it was Alice. Surely he wasn't jealous because I kissed her? "Edward?" I asked softly.

He reached over and grabbed me by the neck and pulled me closer to him. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek and then he said, "That was so fucking hot." Then he nibbled on my ear and moved to my mouth. I could feel the tension in that one kiss. I wanted him more now than ever. I grabbed his arm and started to pull him up from his seat to take him outside, but he put his hand on wrist. "Wait. My song hasn't played yet."

"I don't think you're going to miss your song, and even if we do, we can always play it later," I said suggestively.

"No. Let's wait until my song has played." And at that, a new song started.

Edward grabbed me and pulled me to the dance floor. We started swaying back and forth to the song he had chosen; "Without You", by Breaking Benjamin. He had his hands wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. He started singing along with the words.

Search for the answers I knew all along  
I lost myself, we all fall down  
Never the wiser of what I've become  
Alone I stand, a broken man

All I have is one last chance  
I won't turn my back on you  
Take my hand, drag me down  
If you fall then I will too  
And I can't save what's left of you

Sing something new  
I have nothing left  
I can't face the dark without you  
there's nothing left to lose  
The fight never ends  
I can't face the dark without you

Follow me under and pull me apart  
I understand there's nothing left  
Pain so familiar and close to the heart  
No more, no less, I won't forget

Come back down save your self  
I can't find my way to you  
And I can't bare and face the truth

Sing something new  
I have nothing left  
I can't face the dark without you  
there's nothing left to lose  
The fight never ends  
I can't face the dark without you

I wanted to forget  
I'm trying to forget  
don't leave me here again  
I'm with you forever, the end

Sing something new  
I have nothing left  
I can't face the dark without you  
there's nothing left to lose  
The fight never ends  
I can't face the dark without you

Holding the hand that holds me down  
I forgive you, forget you, the end  
Holding the hand that holds me down  
I forgive you, forget you, the end

I was kind of worried what this song meant to him. Why was he singing it to me? Was he leaving me? Did he not want me anymore? What did "I forgive you, forget you, the end" mean?

I pulled back from him and looked in his eyes. He was looking at me so intently that everything else in the room faded before my eyes. I couldn't lose him… what had I done now?

* * *

EN: OKAY...well, tell me what you think. Thanks for reading, now all you have to do is push that little green button at the bottom. It likes to be pushed around. lol Also, more reviews will hopefully keep the RL monster away. :) Thanks so much for reading. Til next time!


	40. Ch 40: Changing

**AN: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! I know I know...I've been complete and total fail at posting here lately. I'm going to try my hardest to get them out quicker...like once a week or something. This is the last chapter of The Tempted Lioness. I hope you like it. If you want to follow up with the sequel please put me on author alert. There is still lots and lots of good times and bad times to come, don't forget the Volturi. ;)**

**Much love to my beta - Jadiona. She's been cracking the whip to get me writing more, and I wuv her for it!!! MWAH!**

**Also, love to my besties... BellasExeQtnER TheRobotMoose and MsBond01. They are definitely the bestest!! Love u guys!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters, I just like to play with them.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 40 - Changing

**EPOV**

I had chosen that song to basically speak about our whole relationship. Bella was always putting songs to go along with our relationship, or even making up her own. I couldn't do that. It just wasn't in my blood. I could play an instrument, but the words were just too much for me to handle.

After the song ended Bella looked up at me and she looked… sad? Disturbed? I couldn't tell. That wasn't what I wanted her to feel… damn… did I fuck up again? I pulled her off the dance floor and walked over to our table. I leaned over and spoke quickly into Emmett's ear, "I think we're gonna leave. We'll see you guys back at the house," and I pulled Bella outside.

She looked like she was going to start crying. I hated that I always made her so upset; whether it was pissing her off or making her cry. I couldn't remember one good time that I'd made her happy. Was she happy… with me? Damn… now I feel like I'm getting all emo.

We got to the car and I opened her door. After I shut the door I walked around to the other side and got in. She was just sitting there looking down at her hands; looking so dejected. I hit my head against the steering wheel of the car, "Damn it!" She jumped and looked over at me, but she still said nothing.

"Bella… I'm sorry. Things just keep getting fucked up."

My forehead was still rested against the steering wheel but I turned my face towards her. Her bottom lip was quivering, like she was trying to keep from crying.

"No, Edward… I don't know what I did wrong, but we can fix this. Please… just don't… give up on us."

I raised my head up so fast I almost gave myself whiplash. "No Bella, God! I didn't mean it like that. I meant that I keep fucking things up. It's not you… Please don't think that."

"Well then what is it?" she asked softly.

"That song I picked out… you looked sad afterwards but I didn't pick the song to make you sad. It was stupid… never mind."

"No… it wasn't stupid if you picked it out. I just… don't understand."

Hmmm… I picked up my IPod and plugged it in to the radio in the car and flipped through the songs until I found it. I was going to explain it to her.

Search for the answers I knew all along  
I lost myself, we all fall down  
Never the wiser of what I've become  
Alone I stand, a broken man

"This part is saying that I lost myself. I didn't realize what I had become after I was in the relationship with Tonya. Once you came into my life you kind of… I don't know… made everything more clear. The 'alone I stand, a broken man', well that was after she …for lack of a better term, fucked me and left me."

All I have is one last chance  
I won't turn my back on you  
Take my hand, drag me down  
If you fall then I will too  
And I can't save what's left of you

"This part is talking about how I won't turn my back on you. You ARE my one last chance. When it says drag me down, it means I want you to change me. You keep talking about how horrible it is to be a vampire, but I just don't see it. If you fall, then I will too, well I wouldn't be able to survive if you weren't here."

Sing something new  
I have nothing left  
I can't face the dark without you  
there's nothing left to lose  
The fight never ends  
I can't face the dark without you

"I can't face the dark without you… well that one's pretty self explanatory. I can't face anything without you. I love you and want to be with you forever… whether it's dark or light; good or bad. There's nothing left to lose, well I've already lost all of my family… and the fight never ends, because we still have to put up with the Volturi eventually."

Follow me under and pull me apart  
I understand there's nothing left  
Pain so familiar and close to the heart  
No more, no less, I won't forget

"There's nothing left of me without you and my family. It's just saying that you can pull me apart and realize that there's nothing left. Pain so familiar and close to the heart… well if I was to lose you… it would literally kill me. I wouldn't be able to just forget you."

Come back down save yourself  
I can't find my way to you  
And I can't bare and face the truth

"This part is saying that sometimes you try to put yourself above all others. Not that you think you are so much more important, but you would gladly have sacrificed yourself to save your family from the Volturi. I couldn't talk you out of it… and that really scared me. Not because you wouldn't listen to what I said, but that nothing was going to stop you from going to Italy alone."

Sing something new  
I have nothing left  
I can't face the dark without you  
there's nothing left to lose  
The fight never ends  
I can't face the dark without you

I wanted to forget  
I'm trying to forget  
don't leave me here again  
I'm with you forever, the end

"When we were first got together in the club, after you left, I did try to forget you. It just didn't work… you were emblazoned on my brain. Don't leave me here again, I'm with you forever, the end… well that's pretty obvious too. You better not ever try to leave me again like you did when you ended up in Italy the first time. I'm here… with you… forever… the end… there is no point in trying to discuss it. We are meant to be together and we will stay together. I know you can feel it too."

Sing something new  
I have nothing left  
I can't face the dark without you  
there's nothing left to lose  
The fight never ends  
I can't face the dark without you

Holding the hand that holds me down  
I forgive you, forget you, the end  
Holding the hand that holds me down  
I forgive you, forget you, the end

"You keep me grounded… that's why you're the hand that holds me down. You've kept my family alive for very unselfish reasons… only for others. I know that you worry that I am upset with you for taking my family from me, but it's just not true. They wouldn't be here without you; that's why I forgive you. I just hope that one day you decide to make me a part of 'our' family. I want to be with you forever, not just until I die."

**BPOV**

After Edward explained what the song meant to him, I couldn't hold myself back. I jumped across the console of the car and reached my arms around his neck. I kissed him with a fervor I didn't know I possessed. I loved him and only him. There would never be another for me. I wanted him to be with me for eternity. Eternity wouldn't be long enough for me to show him how much he means to me. Our tongues tangled and our moans filled the car. I pulled back slowly and said, "Take me home."

O~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Once we arrived at his home, we walked upstairs to his bedroom. We sat next to each other on the bed. We hadn't really talked much since we had left Tacoma. There was nothing to say. He had said it all with that song. Now it was my turn to talk, "Edward, I have something I have to ask you."

"What is it Bella?" he asked.

"I've been thinking a lot the past couple of days. I was worried that you wouldn't be happy with me. I was worried that you would end up regretting the decision to be changed. I was worried that I was being too selfish to want to change you. I love you… more than you can possibly know. There is no way for me to explain the love I can feel in my heart every time I look at you; every time I hear your voice. You are the one and only for me. I want to ask you if you are one hundred percent positive that you want to be changed."

He just sat there and gazed in my eyes for a minute. I was afraid that he was going to change his mind; that he wouldn't want to spend forever with me. Everything started going fuzzy; I felt like I was going to pass out, then he spoke, "Isabella, I want nothing more in this life than to spend the rest of it with you. I want you to live by my side for all of eternity. I want to be there for you for the rest of our existence. There is nothing that would make me happier. I want to be with you."

I started crying; not tears of sadness, but tears of joy. I loved this man, and he loved me. We would be able to spend all of eternity together. I raised my hands to his cheeks, and wiped away the tears that he had cried too. We pressed a sweet kiss to each others' lips. We didn't close our eyes. I wanted to have the green of his eyes forever burned in my mind. I kept brushing my fingers across his cheeks, to feel the warmth radiating off of them. We parted and I placed my ear next to his chest, I wanted to hear the steady strength of his heartbeat forever in my ears. I turned my face toward his chest and placed a kiss on his heart. When I raised my head he never once looked away from my face. I leaned him back against the pillows at the head of his bed. I laid down next to him and still stroked his face. It was so soft and warm. I placed small chaste kisses all over his face, on his eyelids and lastly on his lips. I placed my mouth next to his ear and said, "I'm sorry. This may be painful, but I'll try to make it as quick as possible."

He nodded his acquiescence and I moved my mouth to just under his ear. I placed a quick kiss on his neck and then bit. He tried so hard not to yell out, but I knew he wouldn't be able to hold it all in. I swallowed the most intensely satisfying nectar from this man. It was like nothing I had ever tasted before. I wanted more, but forced the animal inside down. I licked the open bite wound and my venom closed it up. I moved to the crease on his arm near his elbow and bit in again. I quickly closed it up as well. I moved to the other arm and repeated the same movements. Then I moved quickly and lifted his shirt. I bit right over his heart and let my venom enter directly into his chest, before I closed it up as well. He was whimpering and squirming with his eyes closed tightly. I moved up to his head and started stroking his hair, whispering, "I'm so sorry, my love. It will be over soon. I love you, please remember that," over and over again until he finally fell quiet and looked to be in a peaceful sleep.

I wanted him to have no pain. I knew that the bites were painful, but there was nothing I could do to make it less painful. I tried to be as quick as I could; the whole process taking less than a minute. I could only lay here with him and sing softly; our song.

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.

Now I can't let go of this dream.

Can't believe that I feel...

Good enough,

I feel good enough.

It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

O~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**APOV**

Emmett, Rose, Jasper and I were still at the club when I had the vision. I saw Bella biting Edward. I jumped up and grabbed Jasper saying, "She's done it."

Jasper just looked at me with a confused look, and said, "Who's done what?"

"Bella… she's bitten Edward."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Jasper, this vision has been the clearest I think I've ever seen. It must mean that she's already doing it or is planning on doing it… soon."

"Is she changing him? Can she stop herself? She should have never done that without someone there to stop her if the need was to arise. Why didn't she wait on us? What else did you see? Can you see anything else?" he asked in rapid succession.

I try to look at the same scene as before, but nothing is changing. All I can see is Bella biting Edward. I can't tell if she stops in time.

I look up at Jasper, "I can't see anything else. All I can see is what I saw before; her biting him. I can't see if she stops in time. It doesn't look like it was done in anger… Edward looked like he was freely giving himself to her. Surely she can stop Jasper, she stopped with all of us."

I noticed that Rose looked down at the table top quickly, "What is it Rose?" I ask her.

"Well, she didn't completely stop with Emmett. I had to pull her off of him, but that was just because he was the first she had ever bitten. She had so much more restraint with you, and from what Carlisle said, she had no problem with Esme. Surely she would be able to take Edward without any problems," Rose explained.

Jasper jumped up and said, "We need to leave… NOW!" None of us asked any questions, we just jumped up put some bills on the table to pay for our measly tab and ran out. Once we were in the car and on the way back home, Jasper started explaining, "Yes, Bella only had a problem with Emmett because he was her first… but with Edward. We all forget that Edward… he's her singer. She might not be able to stop herself once his blood gets in her system… her senses. You know how when you are on the attack for an animal in the woods, everything else ceases to exist except for the prey that you are attacking? Well, imagine that feeling only 100 more times potent. I found my singer once… before I came to live with the Cullen's… and let's just say… it didn't end well. I killed her instantly. She had no chance. I just hope that Bella has as much strength as we all think she does, because if not, this could very well kill her." We all were quiet a moment.

Then Rose spoke up, "She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she knew she had killed Edward. How can we stop this?" she said looking at me.

"I don't even know if she's going to kill Edward… all I see is her biting him. It may all turn out okay, but…" I started getting another vision. All I could see was Carlisle; Bella and Edward were no where around.

"We need to call Carlisle."

O~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**CPOV**

I was at the hospital working when my cell phone rang. I picked it up without looking at the caller ID. It was Alice; she was rambling on about how I needed to get home, and that it was about Edward and Bella. I quickly hung up the phone and went to the nurse's station to let them know I was leaving. On my way home I called Esme to find out where she was. "Carlisle, I'm at your house where you left me earlier today, why?"

"Alice called to tell me to go home, and she said something about Edward and Bella. Are they there?"

"No, they aren't. Maybe they're at my old house?"

"Okay, I'm on my way over there now. I'll call you when I get there."

"No Carlisle, if something's wrong I want to be able to help. I'll just meet you there."

And with that Esme hung up. She was the perfect mate; she would drop anything to come to help me. She was a perfect mother.

I pulled up in front of the Masen house and saw Edward's Volvo sitting in the driveway. They were here… good. I looked up and saw Esme running out of the woods, "Have you been inside yet?" she asked.

"No, we'll go in together," I told her while grabbing her hand.

We walked in the front door and the scent of blood flew through the house. This could not be good. Esme squinted her eyes and stopped breathing. She hadn't been around human blood yet. This would test her ability to withhold her inner monster and handle the situation. I didn't want to put her through this, because it was her son… her last surviving son. How was she going to react? I told her to stay here, but she shook her head, still not breathing.

We started up the stairs to follow where the blood scent was coming from. We got to the top floor and I could almost see the vapors of the blood-scent wafting around Edward's bedroom door. I looked at her again and she just nodded. I was pleasantly surprised that Esme was testing her limits this far, and that she hadn't completely lost it. I walked to the bedroom door and pushed it open. "Bella?" I asked softly. I had heard her singing softly a song I had never heard before. She stopped when I called her name. It was almost like she hadn't heard us come in the house.

I looked over to where Edward's bed was and I saw Bella lying next to him stroking his hair. She hadn't even looked up at me, just at him. I could hear his soft heartbeat, and I knew what she had done. She had bitten him; she had changed him. She was going to have her 'forever' with Edward, as I will have with Esme; Jasper with Alice; Rosalie with Emmett. We would all truly be a family now.  


* * *

EN: Well, are you all happy now? Everyone's been trying to get me to change Edward for the longest time. :) Don't forget to put me on your Author Alerts to know when I post the Sequel. :)

EN2: You should check out a new O/S that was posted this week. It's called Soulmates, by TheRobotMoose. I paid for her expertese in the Fandom Gives Back auction. I love it. She's definitely the BESTEST!! You should check it out!!


End file.
